26. Callum
My ankle fucking hurt. It felt like Dean and Luca both sat on it, pulling it from opposite sides. It wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t every day you felt like a part of your body was on fire.
“Honey, what can I do? You’re too quiet. You’re my loudest child, and you haven’t said anything.”
I snorted but still didn’t remove my arm from my eyes. “Take me back to childhood and get me the bunk bed I wanted.”
“Hush.” She swatted my forearm and sat on a stool next to me. “Your humor is impressive.”
“Got it from dealing with you and dad.”
“Okay, you were my favorite child, but you’re toeing the line.”
I smiled this time and found my mom grinning back. “It’s nice seeing you smile. I don’t love that we’re chatting in a training room, and my ankle is definitely broken. But hey, can’t win ‘em all.”
“You played amazing, sweetie. It was insane. Seeing you not get up though. Ooh, buddy. I couldn’t breathe. There was thirty seconds where I couldn’t even see. I’d never pressure you, but if you told me right now you’d never play football again, I would make you sign an oath and get it notarized.”
“I was fine. Just pissed that they tag-teamed me like that.” I winced as my brain replayed the pivotal moment of me getting attacked. I hated that I hadn’t seen it coming or that I hadn’t been fast enough to escape it.
“Okay, O’Toole.” Henry walked in, his frown deeper than normal. “We have your x-rays. It’s a severe fracture that will require surgery. We can get you in tomorrow at the local hospital, but you’ll be out twelve weeks.”
“The rest of the season.” My mom covered her mouth with her hand. “Are you sure?”
I could throw up. Being out the rest of the season killed me. Fuck. I thought I had a few more games left in me. This meant I was done.
No more football. Just like that.
“I’m sure.” Henry held up the scan and pointed to a very clear break in my bone. Cool. Neat. Loved that for me. Full breakage.
Huh, it almost looked like Ivy’s ankle.
Ivy.
I choked on my own breath thinking about her and how her face had fallen and her eyes had welled with tears when I told her to get out. She thought I was pushing her away! I wasn’t! I was remembering her ask of me: to hide us being together. With the Chicago guy coming and Henry all around, I had to do that. I’d make it up to her once I got out of here, but fuck, the girl knew I was crazy about her.
She had to. I told her a million times a day.
Dude, you made her cry. Again.
She ran into the wall and hurt herself because of you.
Yeah, fuck. I ran a hand over my face, having a full-on conversation with my inner monologue. I’m looking out for her like she wanted.
Things change, bro. You’re done with football now.
Your mom said she couldn’t breathe when you didn’t get up. Ever think how Ivy felt?
Of course you didn’t.
I shook my head, focusing on Henry talking about the recovery plan. I could’ve summed it up in a sentence: I was done with football.
Instead of distraught, a weird sense of relief hit me. Not the injury. That sucked. When my chaotic energy built up, I had to work out to satisfy it, and now that was gone. What would I do?
Hang with Ivy.
But you hurt her. What if it was too much?
“Was I a dick to Ivy?” I blurted out.
Both Henry and my mom glanced at me. My mom patted my arm. “I don’t want to?—”
“Yes,” Henry said, his stoic face giving nothing away. “She told me you were childhood friends, and she was shaking like a leaf coming to check on you. You dismissing her was a dick move. We allow friends and family back here, especially ones that work on the team. Now, I told her players act differently when injured, so maybe you can use that.”
My gut fucking sank. “She was shaking?”
“Callum.” My mom rolled her eyes. “You didn’t get up for thirty seconds, and that is plenty of time for people to assume the worst.”
“Why did you let me do that to her?” I pushed up in my seat, but Henry glared.
“Stay where you are. You’re in no place to walk or do anything. We’re working on getting you transport to the hospital right now to stay for the night because you’ll have surgery first thing in the morning.”
Panic clawed up my throat. I couldn’t go to surgery without talking to my girl. Plus, my mom’s words hit me in the chest. Plenty of time to assume the worst.
If I saw Ivy not get up for thirty seconds, I would’ve killed someone to get to her. I would’ve risked my life to get to her, and I just… dismissed her?
Fuck. This wasn’t good. Oh no.
“Mom, I need my phone. I gotta text her.”
“We can get you your stuff before you head there. We need to discuss what you’re wanting for a recovery plan though. Minimum twelve weeks out, which puts us into December. If we’re in a bowl, you could possibly play again. Do you want to enter the draft?”
I shook my head, meeting my mom’s face. “No. I don’t think I want to. If Angie can handle the baby without the money?—”
“She can and will. Your dear father is helping pay for everything right now. Not sure how I feel about that, but it’s the least he can do.” My mom’s cheeks pinkened, but she arched a brow when I opened my mouth. “I’m doing better. I’m seeing a therapist and even dating again. I will still shit talk him when I can to you because we’re both petty.”
“I love you, Mom.” I chuckled. “I want to be like you when I grow up.”
“This makes so much sense now.” Henry hit his clipboard. He didn’t quite smile, but he was amused. “Always nice to see how the players become who they are before they come here.”
“He’s a good one. Dramatic. Annoying. Petty.”
“Don’t think I didn’t see you, O’Toole.” Henry pointed at me. “You were talking mad shit to their O-line.”
“Of course I was. They were subpar and thought way too highly of themselves for a couple of overweight guys with unibrows.”
“Ugh, this is why you were hit so hard.” My mom hit her forehead. “I can’t really condone your behavior, but it all makes sense.”
“Okay, now that my career is done, can I have my phone?”
“Already on it.” Luca walked into the room with a nod to Henry. “Here’s your shit.”
“So pleasant, so kind.” I took my phone and AirPods. “Thanks, Monroe. Such a helpful dude.”
“Shut up.” He winced at the x-ray. “You’re done then. Fuck. Oh, sorry, Mrs. O’Toole.”
“Please. I raised this child. What do you think his first cuss word was at four?”
“Honestly, it could be any of them.” Luca smiled before squeezing my shoulder. “You have a team of people around you who will be there for you. Let us help you. You matter to everyone.”
I loved hearing that. It made me feel like my work as a teammate really mattered.
“Even you?” I teased.
“No. But everyone else.”
I cackled and directed my question at Henry. “Am I drugged?”
“Yes. You blacked out for a minute on the way here trying to be a hero and wave to the stands, but you are drugged.”
“I wondered why I feel so alright. Hey, the pain went away.” I pointed to my foot. “Maybe it’s not that bad?”
“It’s that bad.” Henry ran a hand over his face as Coach came in. “We’re getting him into surgery tomorrow. Three months of recovery, then possible comeback.”
“Damn.” Coach ran a hand over his jaw before meeting my gaze. “You had a hell of a game. We scored three more times after your injury, and their offense couldn’t do shit. The team rallied behind you.”
“I’m sort of a mascot.” I shrugged, definitely enjoying the medicine. I felt a little drunk and loopy. Like I could do a cartwheel. Oh man. I couldn’t do one for twelve weeks. That was stupid. “Can I do a cartwheel, Mom?”
“Oh, shit. No, you cannot. Absolutely not.”
“You are a mascot, so I still need you around. You get your surgery, and you follow every direction to a tee, you got me? The team needs you, even if you’re not on the field.”
“Coach, you’re being way too nice. It’s making me have hives.”
“You’re such a pain in the ass, but I’m glad you’re okay. A broken ankle sucks ass, but injuries on the field could be much worse.”
“You wound me.” I clutched my chest and closed my eyes. “I might nap.”
“Mrs. O’Toole, I’d tell you that this is normal for him even not on drugs, but you raised him, so I assume you know.” Luca’s voice quieted as my eyes shuttered.
The table was more comfortable than I thought. It was almost cozy. It’d be even better if Ivy was here with me. She could be my blanket. Smiling, I thought about her as sleep overtook me.
Son of a bitch.The damn drugs made me forget I had to text Ivy immediately, but there was no time. From the transport to the hospital to the pre-surgery room to now, minutes before going under, I didn’t have time or wasn’t conscious to text her.
I wanted to tell her I loved her, and now with the injury, I could easily follow her whenever she wanted to go. I’d do whatever she wanted without blinking. But I kept seeing her crestfallen face, the way her eyes watered, and felt like shit.
She had to be so upset with me.
What if she doesn’t forgive you?
You barely had her trust back. What if you broke it?
You could’ve sent a text, you stupid ass.
“How long will this take?” I asked the pre-surgery nurse. There was a fancier name for her role, but she wore a mask and looked badass.
“A few hours, then we’ll get you to your recovery room.”
“Is my phone in here?” I couldn’t recall where the hell it was since Luca had given it to me. Maybe my mom had it?
“No. We’re about to go into surgery.”
“Okay, yeah, of course. I forgot to tell my girl I love her, that’s all.”
“You can as soon as you’re out. Hold it together, loverboy.” She wheeled the cot into a backroom when my nerves suddenly hit.
I hadn’t been under before. Ivy had, numerous times. As a child. Fuck. I wished she was here. I couldn’t catch my breath. What if I died? What if I never got to see her again?
“Hey, we’ll walk you through the anesthesia, okay? Deep breaths. It’ll super quick and easy.”
My eyes watered as she prepped the room. I had so many regrets, all of them hitting me at the moment. The time lost with Ivy, the fact I still hadn’t seen my dad. Fuck. I should text him back. Just… for like… a coffee. My sister having a baby! I wouldn’t be so focused on football, so I could be the best uncle to ever uncle. My mom… she was dating? I could ask her questions instead of being weird.
What a time to have an entire life epiphany, thirty seconds from being put to sleep. Oh shit. Was this what the animals felt too when they were put down?
“Count backwards from ten, Callum.”
“Ten, nine, eight…”
Fuckkkkkk.My leg hurt like a bitch. Where were my meds?
“He’s up. Look at me.”
“So precious.”
“This won’t humble him though, I guarantee it.”
“Why are you fucks here?” I groaned and found Luca, Dean, Xavier, and Oliver in my room. “Who let you in? Where is my mom?”
“Never took you for a momma’s boy, but it tracks.” Dean grinned and held out my phone. “Figured you’d want this.”
“Ivy.” I yanked the phone into my hands and scanned messages, looking for her name. I had hundreds of texts from people who didn’t matter as much as her. I found our thread, and nothing was there.
Not a word from her.
“Did she know I had surgery?” I glanced my guys and winced. They seemed annoyed at me. “What happened?”
“The girls went to her place.” Dean ran a hand over his jaw. “I’ve been updating Lo to update Ivy.”
“I fucked up.” I groaned into my hands, my stomach weighing me down like a thousand-pound weight. “Help me.”
“I don’t know what happened. We’re not judging. We don’t do that,” Dean said.
“I do.” Luca’s grumpy ass chimed in. “But I get why you did it. She just needs to see that.”
“It was to help her, I swear.” I adjusted my position and flinched. “Motherfucker, this hurts.”
“Yeah, you fucked up your ankle cause your mouth wouldn’t stop running.” Oliver grinned. “Not gonna lie, that game was fun.”
“Yeah, a real hoot for me.”
“Any idea when you can leave here?” Dean asked, just as my mom came in.
“He’ll be out later today.” My mom smiled at me. “Glad you survived. Wasn’t sure for a minute or two.”
“My god, she’s just as bad as him,” Xavier whispered. “And he has three sisters?”
“I sure do.” I sighed as my mom sat on the end of my bed. “How bad is it?”
“After we monitor the wound, you’ll be in a cast. And crutches. No driving. No nothing the first two weeks. We’ll talk to your professors and get your work for you.”
“We can drive you around wherever you want,” Xavier said. “I mean, I don’t have a car, but I can take Luca’s or yours.”
“Sure, yeah take my shit.” Luca rolled his eyes. “We’ll take care of whatever you need. Will I hate it? Yes. But will I do it? Also yes.”
“Stop, you’re being too much for me.” I swallowed the ball of emotion in my throat. These guys were my family, forever, but a part of me was missing that wouldn’t let me move on. “But can I ask for a huge favor? A massive one.”
“What?”
“Ivy. I need my Ivy back.” I hated how weak I sounded, but I didn’t care anymore. “I’m gonna marry that girl, and I need her to forgive me.”
“Now hear me out… I might have an idea.” Oliver clapped his hands, and we all stared at him. “But you’re gonna have to listen to me.”
“Spit it out, Oli.”
“You’re already kinda pathetic, but you need to be even more so.”
“Do you not get it? I will do anything. But tell me the plan.”