Chapter 18 Freya
FREYA
My skin is tingling, my blood is heated, and my head is spinning as I close the front door behind me.
I hang my head, mourning the loss of connection with Cole as the lock engages.
I take a moment to try and gather myself, but it does very little.
I spin around, ready to grab a drink and head up to bed, but I’m stopped in my tracks when I find my parents standing in the doorway to the kitchen, curious expressions on their faces.
“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me.”
“I thought you went out on a date with a guy called Levi,” Mom states.
“So why is Cole Hansley dropping you off and looking at you like he wants to kiss you good night?” Dad finishes.
“What? No, that’s not what that was,” I say in a rush. “He just gave me a ride home.”
“Again?” Mom asks.
“He’s just being a friend.”
“He’s your boss,” Dad counters.
“Right. But we’re friends too. He didn’t want me getting an Uber.” Not entirely true, but I’m sure Dad will appreciate the sentiment.
“Right,” he muses.
“So you did go on a date with Levi?” Mom asks.
“What’s with the twenty questions?” I mutter as I kick my heels off and walk toward them. “Excuse me.”
They part like the Red Sea, allowing me to slip into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water from the fridge.
Their attention follows me, and their unspoken questions sit heavy in the air.
“Go on, just ask,” I breathe, resting my ass back against the counter and opening my bottle.
Dad’s lips part, but before any words come out, Mom smacks him lightly in the stomach while shooting him a glare that says a thousand words.
“How was the date?” Mom finally asks.
“It was nice.”
She winces and sucks in a breath through her teeth.
“What?” Dad asks. “Nice is good.”
“No, nice is not good. Nice is…adequate.”
“Oh. Freya deserves much more than adequate.”
“Exactly. She deserves extraordinary.”
Jeez, what girl can disagree with that?
“So that’s the end of Levi, then,” Dad mutters.
“Maybe. We’ll see.”
“But you said he was nice,” Mom argues.
“Is Cole extraordinary?” Dad asks with what I swear is hope in his tone.
Mom rolls her eyes and keeps her focus on me.
“Yeah, he was, which means it could be a lot worse. I might go out with him again if he asks. We’ll see. He might have thought I was boring and not want to.”
Mom tsks. “That will never happen.”
I love her confidence in me, but I’m achingly aware that she’s very biased.
“Well, we’ll see.” I push from the counter. “Are you two done? I need to go and get ready for bed. Early breakfast shift tomorrow.”
“You should have just stayed with Cole. It will save your car a few miles,” Dad says.
“He’s my boss, remember?”
“Hmm…what we saw out there wasn’t a boss looking at his employee, Freya.”
“Well then, it’s a good thing you didn’t know what you were looking at,” I shoot over my shoulder as I take off toward the stairs.
I’ve got enough to unpack from tonight without my parents putting their opinions in.
It’s not until I close my bedroom door that I finally relax. But that doesn’t mean I forget about what just happened outside.
Was Dad right? Did Cole look like he wanted to kiss me?
In that moment, it sure as hell felt like it.
As I walked away from him, I convinced myself that it was all in my head.
A man like Cole Hansley would never want to kiss a girl like me.
I’m a disaster and he’s…well, he’s a freaking god.
“FUCKING YES,” Casey screams beside me as Kodie hits a slapshot that goes sailing past the opposition’s goalie, increasing the Vipers’ lead to three to zero. “I LOVE YOU, BABY.”
As if he can hear her over the chaos in the arena, he looks up and directly at her.
Despite the fact that there are like, eighteen thousand other people in here, the moment they connect, it’s like everyone disappears, and the only thing that can be heard is the air crackling between them.
It’s intense. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.
Kodie lifts his gloved hand to his lips and blows her a kiss.
It’s not directed at me, but damn, even my knees go a little weak.
I’m so freaking happy for them.
Kodie gets engulfed by his teammates; I’m sure all of them are ribbing him for celebrating with his girl instead of them.
Beside me, Dad watches the entire thing with a wide smile on his face.
He’s the same every time he gets to come to a game. He’s like a kid at Christmas.
I love my new job. I love getting to know Cole and learning more about ice hockey and the lives the players live. But having a job that allows me to get tickets for incredible seats like these so I can bring Dad’s dreams to reality means more to me than anything.
Beside me, he claps and hollers for his beloved team. He’s dressed almost head to toe in green Vipers merch. But while he’s wearing a jersey, I’m rocking a new hoodie I picked up in the team store before the game.
I was tempted to buy a jersey with a certain player’s name and number on it. But as I stood there staring up at it, I overthought the entire situation and talked myself out of it. Dad, on the other hand, is very proudly wearing “Hansley” across his shoulders.
I’ve already taken a photo of him and sent it to Cole with the caption of “your number-one fan.” Hopefully, he’ll get a kick out of it when he sees it later.
We’re on our feet, cheering for our boys as the clock counts down to the end of the second period.
“Do you want another beer?” I ask Dad as everyone around us begins moving.
“I can go,” he offers. “Casey, do you want another?” he asks, nodding toward the cup in her hand.
“Yes, please.”
“Soda for me, please,” I remind him, seeing as I’m his taxi for tonight.
“You got it.” He takes off, and Casey and I finally sit down.
“He’s living his best life right now,” Casey says as Dad disappears from sight.
“He really is.”
“And what about you?”
“What about me?”
“You’ve been quiet this week. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything is great. Just busy keeping our goalie fed and healthy.”
“The amount of food they eat is ridiculous, isn’t it?”
“Unbelievable,” I mutter as my cell buzzes in my pocket.
My heart jumps when I find a message from Cole.
I sense Casey glance over, but she doesn’t say a word as I open the message. Thankfully, she makes the most of the moment and pulls her own out.
Cole: I hope he’s having a great time.
Freya: He really is. Hasn’t stopped smiling since we got here.
Cole: I’ve got a question…
Freya: Shoot.
Cole: Why aren’t you wearing my jersey?
All the air rushes from my lungs.
“Are you okay?” Casey asks, making me put my cell to sleep so she can’t read that message.
All my thoughts from earlier as I stood staring at his jersey in the store come back to me.
Will he read into it?
Does he want me wearing it?
What if he wants another girl wearing it?
What if he thinks I’m getting too clingy and sends me away? It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I say before jumping to my feet.
I don’t know if Casey is following me or not. I just need a moment of peace to process my thoughts.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asks again the moment it gets a little quieter, letting me know that she is, in fact, following me. Her warm hand wraps around my upper arm, and I slow my steps.
“Yeah, of course. I just need to pee before the third period starts.”
She lets me keep moving, and it’s not until I come to a stop in the line for the bathroom that she continues.
“What happened back there? What did he send you?”
“Nothing. It was nothing.”
“It was something. You shot up and ran like your ass was on fire.”
“I just need to pee,” I repeat, despite the fact that I know she’s not buying it.
“Freya,” Casey breathes. “It’s okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. Judgment-free zone, yeah?”
“I know. I do. I just…he fucked me up. I didn’t realize how bad it was until Cole took this chance on me.
He keeps calling me out on my bullshit. All of it has been caused by him, and I hate it.
I hate the person he’s turned me into. And I…
I don’t know how to get rid of her and find the old me again.
” Tears burn my eyes as my verbal diarrhea comes to an end.
“I’m sorry, I…damn it,” I curse, realizing that I said it again.
“What?”
“I’m trying to stop apologizing for stupid things.”
Casey nods, her hand reaching for me. “It’s okay for it to take time for you to find yourself.”
“I know. But I’m getting fed up with waiting. I want to see the world in full color again. I keep getting glimpses, and I want it, Case. I want it so bad. I’m fed up with the muted grays and the sadness. I want color, and laughter, and hope.”
Her own eyes are glassy. “I know you do. And it’ll happen. It’s coming. You’re coming out the other side, babe. Life is about to get so much better.”
I nod, sniffling as we shuffle closer to the front of the line.
“What gives you the most color?”
I bite down on my bottom lip.
“Hanging out with you and Parker.”
“And,” she prompts, knowing there’s more.
“My job,” I say, my lips twitching with a smile. “It’s given me purpose, a reason to get up in the morning.”
Casey smiles proudly.
I think of the kitchen I’ve been spending my days in recently, and the joy it’s brought me. But I quickly find my thoughts drifting to the man who owns it.
Without even realizing, he’s helping me.
I think of the laughs we’ve shared in his kitchen.
The way he looks at me like I’m not some broken thing that needs fixing but a woman who is—mostly—in control of herself.
I think of how it felt on Sunday when we walked side by side, getting to know each other better with the warm spring air gently blowing past us.
My cell buzzes again, and I’m powerless but to pull it free.
Cole: Bring your dad up to the friends and family suite after the game. Need to celebrate our win with my number-one fan…