Chapter 17 Cole
COLE
Whirlwind: Any chance you could be my taxi?
Asmile twitches at my lips as I read her words.
Cole: I’ll be two minutes.
“I gotta go,” I tell the others. We’re halfway through dessert, but I’m suddenly not all that hungry for it.
“Is everything okay?” Killer asks in concern.
“But your pancakes,” Monroe says, gazing at them longingly.
“Crepes,” I correct. “It’s fine. You can have them,” I say, sliding my plate toward him.
I pull my wallet from my pocket and throw enough bills on the table to cover my meal.
“Cole?” Killer says. I freeze and look at him, not used to hearing him use my real name. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. I just need to head out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” he mumbles, looking confused.
I get it. I dragged them out here so I had some company, and now I’m bailing—and I can’t tell them why, because they wouldn’t understand.
Hell, I’m not sure I understand, but I try not to think about it as I march toward the exit.
As soon as I step outside, I spot Freya standing with her date.
Not wanting to go stalking over there and announce my presence, I take off down the street for where I parked my car. As I move, my cell buzzes again.
Whirlwind: He thinks I’m waiting for a rideshare. Pull a little down from us and I’ll jump in.
I shake my head at her scheming but eagerly follow instructions.
Once I’m in my car, I pull a baseball cap from my glove compartment and put it on in an attempt to hide my identity. Based on how they first met, I don’t doubt he’ll know exactly who I am, should he see me.
I keep my eyes on the road as I drive past Freya and pull over. The second I stop, I look in my mirror to watch them part ways.
Is he going to go in for a kiss?
Will she allow it if he does?
Will I?
My grip on the wheel tightens as she looks up at him, smiling.
Don’t do it.
Don’t—
I breathe a sigh of relief when she steps away and gives a little wave before rushing in my direction.
Is it wrong to be so relieved he didn’t even attempt to kiss her? Probably, but I’m finding it hard to care.
She pulls the passenger door open and drops into the seat with a flourish.
I don’t wait for her to be strapped in—I just take off, afraid he’ll follow her and demand that kiss.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, I just didn’t—”
“Stop apologizing,” I say lightly. “If I didn’t want to be here doing this right now, trust me, I wouldn’t be.”
She sighs and squirms in the seat.
“Are you warm enough?”
“Yeah, it’s perfect. Thank you. I was going to call an Uber, but the thought of spending thirty minutes with a stranger didn’t fill me with joy. I’ve done enough small talk tonight.”
“Quiet ride home, got it,” I tease.
“Oh no, that’s not what I meant. It’s…it’s different with you. I can just be myself.”
My shoulders loosen. It might be a simple statement, but I already know just what a big deal that is. I’m honored she’s allowing me to see the real her. I’m not sure there are many out there who get the privilege.
“Thank you,” I breathe, glancing over at her.
“What for?”
“For letting me see the real you. For not being angry with me for tonight.”
A soft, sweet laugh tumbles from her lips. “I could say the same for you.”
“Me? Why?”
“Cole, you may or may not have noticed, but you don’t exactly let people into your life. Your teammates haven’t even been to your apartment.”
My lips part to argue, but I can’t. She’s right.
They all teased me about a housewarming party when I moved in, but I put it off. And thankfully, after a while, everyone forgot about it.
I love hanging out with the guys, but I prefer to do it elsewhere. At one of their places, at a bar. Hell, anywhere else.
But I like Freya being there.
“It would be a different story if you couldn’t cook,” I deadpan, needing to keep the conversation light. This isn’t the time and place to dive into why I live my life as a recluse whenever possible.
She giggles. It’s lighter than normal. I assume it’s from the couple of glasses of wine she’s had tonight. It’s addictive as fuck. “I knew you only wanted me for one thing.”
A smirk twitches at my lips.
“Ah, you’ve got me.”
“Did you have fun tonight?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Yeah, I guess. I think the guys are suspicious as fuck, though. Especially considering I spent more time gazing across the restaurant than I did listening to what they were saying.”
I don’t need to look over to know she’s blushing; I can see it clear as day in my mind.
“You were not,” she argues.
“I just needed to know it was going okay. That you were happy and comfortable.”
“I really appreciate it. It was nice knowing someone had my back if things went wrong.”
Relieved I didn’t fuck anything up tonight, I shift a little in my seat.
“I have a confession to make.”
“Another one?”
“Yeah. So…I didn’t just come out tonight to check on you.”
“Oh?” she asks, twisting to study my profile as I drive.
“I…um…I may have fucked up my own dinner.”
“Cole,” she half gasps, half laughs. “I left you basic instructions to warm it up. How did it go wrong?”
“I didn’t read it correctly. I thought the three was an eight and…and well, I nuked it.”
“Oh my God,” she laughs. “How? How are you so useless?”
As soon as I hear the words, I know she’s going to try taking them back.
Despite being worried about offending me, her lack of filter doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
And I’m glad; I love hearing what she’s really thinking.
So much of my life has been filled with people telling me what they think I want to hear.
I love that she doesn’t care who I am, that she doesn’t feel the need to change the way she talks to me because of my job.
“I’m so sorry, Cole. I didn’t mean that.”
“What have I said about apologizing?” I growl, my voice deeper than intended.
“I…uh…” she stutters. “Sorry.”
“Fucking hell,” I laugh. “I’m going to ban that word.”
“I’ll try to stop,” she promises.
“I give you an hour,” I tease.
“That’s not very optimistic,” she points out.
“You do say it a lot.”
“I guess,” she muses, turning her attention to the passing buildings.
“So, are you going to see him again?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” she asks, shocking the hell out of me.
“Uh…”
“Sorry, that was a—”
“Freya,” I laugh. “That wasn’t even five minutes.”
“I guess I really do like saying that word, huh?”
“In answer to your question, no, I don’t think I do. I think there’s something there from the beginning, but it needs to be nurtured to allow it to grow into something more.”
She chews on her bottom lip as she absorbs my words.
“What about you?” I ask when I don’t think she’s going to respond.
“I used to.”
I shake my head as what she’s really saying settles.
She used to believe until he shattered everything she thought she knew about love and relationships.
“Maybe that works for some people, but I think they’re in the minority.”
“You sound like you know what you’re talking about.”
“Absolutely not. I’m just talking from experience of watching teammates meet a woman and fall in love. It takes time to learn everything about each other and to know if you’re compatible to build a life together. Often those who fall in love at first sight don’t see things until it’s too late.”
“I feel that. Maybe if I’d taken things slower, I wouldn’t be where I am now.”
“And what a travesty that would be. I know he hurt you, Freya. But I, for one, am very glad you ended up where you are right now.”
“Everything happens for a reason, right?”
“You got it. As painful as the hard lessons in life might be, in the long run, they make us better people.”
“There’s a lot more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?”
“I’m not just a guy who stops a bit of rubber for a living,” I tease.
“I never thought you were. You’re also a terrible cook. And a fantastic barista.”
“Both things you didn’t know at first sight.”
“Touché,” she muses as I take the final turn that’ll lead me to her parents’ house.
“How’s the apartment hunting going?” I ask as I bring the car to a stop.
“It isn’t.”
“I’ll hook you up with my realtor; she’ll be able to find you something.”
“Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m not sure I’m willing to pay the cost of the rent for a decent place, though.”
“I can speak to your boss about a raise, if you’d like.”
“What? No. No.”
I smile, loving that she isn’t fazed at all about my money.
“If you ever want to stay at my place, you’re more than welcome,” I offer. I live right in the heart of downtown LA. If she’s out with Casey or on another date, then it makes sense for her to crash with me rather than travel all the way out here.
“I don’t want to get in your way.”
“Chances are I’ll be out of town anyway. I won’t even know.”
“I highly doubt that. Have you seen how messy I am?”
“Clumsy, maybe. But you’re not messy.”
“That’s because I’m being good. Let me stay, and that might all change.”
“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“Well, I appreciate it.”
“Just let me know when you have plans in town, and I’ll make sure the guest room is ready for you.”
What the hell are you doing, Cole?
As if it isn’t bad enough that she spends her days in your kitchen. You don’t need her in your guest room as well.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she says as she undoes her seat belt and hooks her purse over her shoulder.
“Wait,” I say quickly as she reaches for the door handle.
I throw my door open and climb out so I can do it for her.
As she stands to her full height in front of me, she stares up into my eyes and asks a question that has my heart jumping into my throat.
“Which one of your parents taught you to be such a gentleman?”
My eyes bounce between hers. The truth is dancing on the tip of my tongue.
I don’t talk about my former years with anyone. It’s all in the past now, where it belongs.
So why do I suddenly feel so compelled to tell her everything I went through all those years ago?
“Neither,” I say, letting just a small part of the truth free.
“Well, whoever it was must be pretty incredible. You’re one of a kind, Cole Hansley.”
Time stops as we stand there staring at each other.
My heart races and my blood heats as desire courses through me.
I haven’t felt such a strong urge to kiss a woman in…well…maybe ever.
It’s because you can’t have her, a little voice says.
She’s off-limits, and that makes you want her more.
“Good night, Cole,” Freya finally whispers, her soft voice floating through the air like a promise I can’t quite catch.
“Good night, Whirlwind.”
Her lips part as if she’s about to ask about the nickname, but she obviously thinks better of it, because she takes a step back and rushes toward her parents’ house.
I tell myself to be good, to walk around to the driver’s side and take off the moment I know she’s safe, but I can’t make myself do it. Instead, I stand there frozen to the spot, my eyes locked on her ass, aware that her father is probably watching me eye-fuck his daughter from a window.
It’s not until she turns around once she has the front door open that I snap out of my trance and force my feet to move.
Goddamn it, Cole. You only have yourself to blame for this.