Chapter 33 Freya
FREYA
Istare up at him with that question floating around us.
I might be frustrated over the whole situation, but at no point did he ever need forgiveness.
I shake my head in disbelief, and his expression falls, thinking I’m saying no, that I don’t forgive him.
“I guess I’d better try harder then, huh?”
“No, that’s not…I have nothing to forgive you for. You haven’t done anything wrong, not really. I just…I freaked out and…” I avert my eyes for a second before looking back up into his. “Thank you,” I whisper, my heart pounding inside my chest.
Things have been intense since the moment I looked through the store’s front windows and found him watching me. It didn’t matter that there was glass between us; he may as well have been standing right in front of me for how it affected me.
His lips twitch at the corners.
“You’re welcome.”
Those words float around us as our eye contact holds. Urges I haven’t felt in a very long time surge through me, and it’s almost impossible not to reach up on my toes to kiss him.
He’s your boss.
He’s your boss.
Your incredibly hot boss who just bought you a car…but still your boss.
I startle when the elevator dings. Neither of us moves for long seconds, but then Cole releases a heavy breath that dances over my skin, making it erupt with goose bumps, before he takes a step back and gestures for me to go first.
I walk into his apartment with him hot on my heels, and the second I approach the kitchen island, I glance back over my shoulder, and my breath catches.
He’s staring at my ass.
My heart rate picks up and my hand trembles as I release the bag.
Swallowing my apprehension, I spin around, rest my ass against the counter, and look at him.
A coy, knowing smirk appears on his lips as he steps up beside me and abandons his bags next to mine.
“I should probably get back to work,” he rumbles as he takes the smallest step back.
This time, he doesn’t even attempt to hide it as he drops his eyes down my body before dragging them back up.
My mouth runs dry.
Holy moly. He’s actually checking me out.
Cole freaking Hansley is checking me out.
Me.
My heart flutters in my chest, and my temperature soars.
I lick my lips, knowing that I need to say or do something.
“Y-yeah,” I force out.
He doesn’t move. He just stands there, his dark eyes locked on mine, his chest heaving.
“Freya, I…” He trails off, his gaze dropping to my lips.
Oh my god. He’s going to kiss me. He’s—
“I really should go,” he rasps. Finally, he takes a step back, turns around, and marches from the apartment.
I swear, I don’t breathe until the front door closes behind him.
“Oh my god,” I gasp, slumping back against the counter.
My heart is racing as if it’s trying to beat its way out of my chest.
He was going to kiss me.
I’m sure of it.
I need a coffee.
Ignoring the bags that litter the counter behind me, I stalk toward the coffee machine.
My hand trembles as I reach for the button, and I close my eyes for a moment, trying to get myself together. But it’s impossible.
Cole Hansley was going to kiss me.
A manic laugh spills from my lips.
I think I might need something more than caffeine.
Disbelief continues to reign as I make my drink.
With my mug in hand, I dig my cell out of my purse and walk toward the door that will lead me to the balcony we sat on together last night.
The warmth of the sun hits me instantly, and I suck in a deep breath of spring air.
I love this time of year. Watching the colors explode and flowers bloom always gives me new hope. It’s only as I lower myself to the swing seat that I realize how long it’s been since I really saw it.
The last few years, everything has been gray and muted.
It’s like the life had been drained out of me.
Everything became so metronomic. Things that should have been incredibly exciting became so mundane and boring.
The nights out, the award shows, the concerts.
Everything. The world lost its color. But now, everything is back in full bloom.
And it’s because of Cole.
Gently, I swing back and forth, sipping my too-hot coffee as I watch a few wispy clouds float past in the bright blue sky.
I don’t know how much time passes as I repeat my interaction with Cole from the moment I saw him outside the store to him standing before me in the kitchen over and over.
As much as I try to convince myself that I read his actions all wrong.
I know I didn’t. I know what I felt, the crackle of chemistry between us. It was real. All too freaking real.
My heart lurches into my throat when my cell buzzes on my lap. Is it him?
My head spins with all the things he could have to say to me.
Would he apologize for acting unprofessionally? Tell me he’s regretting walking away? Will he totally ignore it and send me a funny dog video as if nothing happened?
I pick up my cell, desperate to see what it is. But my excitement falls flat when I find a message from Casey waiting for me.
Casey: You will not believe what I just saw…
I wait a few seconds, expecting her to begin typing and finish off what she’s started. But she doesn’t.
Freya: What have you seen?
Casey: I’m not really allowed to share.
Freya: And yet you’re teasing me with it anyway?
Casey: It’s so hot. I need to tell someone.
Freya: Do not send me a photo of your vibrator.
My lips twitch with a smile.
Casey: I’m at work!
Freya: No judgment here.
Casey: Why? What do you get up to at work? In Handsy’s home no less…
My cheeks burn despite the fact that I’m sitting here alone.
Freya: Nothing. I’m nothing but professional.
Casey: As if you haven’t thought about rolling around in that man’s bed. He’s a god.
Freya: Please don’t talk about my boss like that.
Casey: Okay, suuuuure. I see what you’re doing.
Casey: Anyway. Do you want to see what I’ve seen? You can’t show anyone, though or tell them you’ve seen. I’d like to keep my job.
Freya: You could just not show me.
Casey: Can’t. I have to share. It’s killing me.
I let out a sigh. I have no idea what she wants to show me, but I already know I shouldn’t be looking at it.
Freya: Go on then…
Casey: So a couple of the guys signed this endorsement deal…
Freya: Right…
Casey: You are not ready for this.
Freya: Just send it.
Or don’t. It’s probably safer if you don’t, but I’m kinda invested now, so …
Casey: Okay, are you sitting down?
Freya: Yes.
Casey: Here it comes…
Nothing happens.
I wait, staring at my screen impatiently. And then …
“Oh my god,” I cry as an image appears before me.
Even before I make it full-sized, it has my heart racing.
But the instant I tap on it, making it fill the screen…wow.
Cole is standing there with a backwards cap on, a hockey stick in hand, wearing nothing but a pair of very tight black boxer briefs. I swear the lighting highlights every—and I mean every—one of his muscles. He looks larger than life in every aspect, and utterly gorgeous.
Jesus. This is going to have women melting for him left and right. And I have no doubt sales of those boxer briefs are about to shoot through the roof.
Another message from Casey appears at the top of my screen.
Casey: The campaign goes live next week. These images are going to be everywhere. And it’s not just Cole. All the guys are involved.
Over the next minute, image after image of half-naked hockey players appear on my cell.
Casey: And of course, my personal favorite…
“Damn,” I muse when one of Kodie appears before me.
Freya: He doesn’t usually do stuff like this.
Casey: The only reason he agreed is because it paid a stupid amount of money and he’s donating it all to support the girls’ league. I think all the guys are donating their income from it.
Freya: What’s Cole doing with his?
Casey: I don’t know. Maybe you should ask him?
Freya: I thought I wasn’t meant to know about it?
Casey: What’s a little rule-breaking here and there?
Freya: You’re a nightmare.
Casey: I know. Worth it though, right? Told you it was hot.
Unable to stop myself, I scroll back up, past the other guys and to Cole's image.
“Yeah,” I mutter to myself. “Really hot.”
Casey: It’s going to be a huge campaign. Everyone is going to have their eyes our men.
Freya: Doesn’t that bother you?
I ignore the bit she says about “our” men.
Casey: Nope. They can look, but only I get to touch.
I love her confidence, both in herself and her relationship. I can’t help but wonder what it might feel like to be so sure of everything.
Casey: So, how are things?
Freya: Good.
Casey: Just good?
The need to confess to what happened not so long ago burns through me. But I can’t. Especially not over a message. If I’m going to attempt to explain what happened, then it’ll have to be in person.
Freya: My car died.
Casey: Oh shit. I thought she was going to go on forever.
Freya: You and me both.
Casey: You need a car shopping buddy?
Unease swirls inside me. I know Casey won’t judge me for driving around in a car that Cole has paid for, but it still sits weird with me.
I have enough money to go and buy my own. Money isn’t the issue here.
It’s my pride and need to take control of my life that’s making me fight against this.
I should just be grateful and say thank you.
It’s an incredible gesture and gift. He’s taking so much stress and worry off my shoulders.
I just…I don’t want to get used to it. I don’t want to rely on him.
I’ve relied on a man before, and I never ever want to be in that position again.
I’m just finding myself again, putting myself first. I want to continue down that path and discover exactly who I am and what I’m capable of when I don’t have a man holding my puppet strings.
Freya: I don’t. Cole bought me a car.
The ticks have barely turned blue when my cell begins ringing.
“He bought you a car?” she shrieks.
“Yeah,” I say, slumping lower in the seat.
“Did you know?”
“Nope. He blindsided me with it earlier.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I got mad. I might have shouted a bit,” I confess on a cringe.
“You shouted?” Casey laughs. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you shout. Ever.”
“Okay, raised voice at best. I was stunned, Case. This man has given me the opportunity of a lifetime. I get to spend my days in this incredible penthouse with this insane view. And now he’s buying me a car. It’s too good to be true.”
“It’s true, Freya. Cole appreciates you, and he’s showing it the only way he knows how.”
I think about that for a moment. Cole may not have fully dived into his past, but being a kid who bounced around foster care and kids’ homes, I can’t imagine he had a lot in the way of money. It makes sense that now he has more than he can spend, he uses it to support others where he can.
It’s the reason he’s done that endorsement and got his body out for the world to see, a little voice reminds me.
“Yeah,” I muse. “I’m starting to understand that.”
“Accept it and enjoy it. Life is short. Who knows what’s around the corner?”
“Yeah,” I repeat.
“Are you okay? You seem…distracted.”
I close my eyes, and I’m immediately back in the kitchen with his breath washing over my cheeks, his eyes darting between mine and my lips.
“I think…I think he wants to kiss me.”