Chapter 34 Cole
COLE
Iwas late getting home that night. Despite being desperate to get back to her, it was out of my hands.
Training ran over, then I needed a session with Parker.
Being the sadist that she is, she forced me into an ice bath for what felt like a year.
The witch smirked the whole time, too. It was as if she knew I needed punishing for what happened earlier in the day.
I almost kissed Freya. Standing there in front of her in my kitchen, it was all I could think about. Hell, it’s pretty much all I’ve been able to think about since, and it was almost a week ago.
She kept my dinner warm for me that night, and no sooner had I walked in the door than she served it and fled.
I guess the silver lining was that she drove home in her new car.
She even remembered to message me when she got in, which left me wondering if she was thinking about me, too.
I guess she was, but probably in a very, very different kind of way.
She’s pissed over the car. I get it. I did blindside her with it.
But it’s just a car. I haven’t put a freaking dog collar around her neck and claimed her as my pet.
Freya is her own person with her own life, hopes, and dreams. No matter the kind of relationship between us, I would never let her forget about them. She deserves to find her happiness and not be put into a box where she’s expected to do as she’s told.
Every time I think about her ex and the things she’s said, the need to put her name into Google gets stronger.
But I won’t. Like she said, everything is out there to find, but I don’t want it to be that way.
I need her to trust me enough to tell me.
I need to help her heal enough that she’s strong enough to talk about it.
Now, as I sit on the team’s plane heading home, all I can think about is seeing her.
We’ve been messaging on and off, but there’s a distance between us that I’m sure wasn’t there before.
It has occurred to me that I may just be reading into things a little too much. I’ve just…I’ve never had a woman in my life like Freya before. All I want to do is make her smile, take her stress away, make her happy.
When I was a kid, I remember a time when I’d do anything to make those around me happy.
I was under some stupid illusion that if I did, they’d want to keep me around, give me a home, and some semblance of a normal family.
I quickly discovered that it didn’t help.
No matter how nice I was, how much I did for the people who took me in, how good a kid I was, it never stuck.
I soon learned that the only person I needed to try to make happy was myself, and that’s pretty much the way I’ve lived ever since.
But then she walked into my life and turned everything I thought I knew into chaos.
“Looking forward to getting home?” Killer teases from beside me.
I might not have told him anything when it comes to Freya. But he knows enough, and he knows me well enough to know something is off.
“You know it,” I mutter, keeping my eyes out the small window, watching as the bright lights of LA come into view.
He snorts a laugh.
“Shut up,” I hiss.
“It’s cute,” he says, ignoring my demand.
“Nothing is cute.”
He chuckles this time, making my fists curl against my thighs.
“It’s really cute.”
I let out a sigh. I’m exhausted, desperate to get home, and more than ready to shut the door on the rest of the world for a while so I can have some silence.
I love the guys, but they never fucking stop.
It reminds me of the kids’ homes I despised at times.
There was no quiet, no downtime or privacy.
“You know who you remind me of?” he asks, trying to fully engage me in this conversation.
“No,” I grunt.
“Kodie. You’re pining like he was last year.”
“I’m not fucking pining.”
“Oh, you so are. It only stops when you get a message from her.”
“How do you know she’s been messaging me?”
“Fucking hell, you’re so gone.”
“I’m not. I—” My lips slam shut when I glance over and see his raised brow.
“Sorry to eavesdrop,” Linc says, suddenly popping up from the seat in front of us. “But you’re totally pining.”
I groan, resting my head back and closing my eyes.
“What? It’s fucking awesome, man. Embrace it.”
I crack one eye open and look at him.
“Single life is all fun and games until you find the one who makes you want to stop playing.”
I hold his eyes, terrified to say anything.
“When was the last time you hooked up with someone?” Linc asks.
My silence is all the answer they need.
“He can’t even remember. His head is so full of Freya that no other woman exists,” Killer happily supplies.
“Two months ago,” I correct.
“Killer is right,” Linc surmises. “You need to go home and end that dry spell before it causes medical issues. We need you protecting our crease, man.”
“Do either of you actually have any decent advice?”
“How is ‘go and tell the women you’re obsessed with the truth so she’ll bang you’ bad advice?” Linc asks.
“Said like a true romantic,” Kodie grumbles from his seat.
“Hey, I can do romance,” Linc argues before standing to full height. “Hey, pretty girl,” he calls down the airplane to where the coaching and medical staff sit. “Come back here and tell the guys how romantic I can be.”
Parker doesn’t even look back. She just lifts her hand above her seat and flips him the bird.
Laughter erupts as Linc glowers at the back of his girl’s seat.
“You’re gonna pay for that, Donnelly. You can beg as much as you want; the next time we’re—”
“Say another word and I will end you right here on this plane, Storm,” Rett warns from the other side of the aisle.
“Dude, they’re grown-ups,” Killer points out. “And you know Storm’s rep. There’s no way they’re not banging any chance they get.”
Rett is out of his seat in a flash, but Coach is faster.
His fingers barely fist Killer’s shirt before Coach is bellowing down the plane for him to behave.
I smirk, watching everything pan out, glad to have the heat off me for a few minutes.
Rett growls in Killer’s face before he drops back into his seat.
“That’s a good boy,” Killer taunts like an asshole.
I can’t say that Rett’s trade was a surprise.
I had a feeling that our GM had his eye on him.
I just didn’t think we’d lose Brit for him.
But we can’t deny that Rett’s arrival has caused some drama.
The guy has a temper like no one I’ve ever met before.
One second, he can be laughing, and the next, it’s like someone has flipped a switch and it all changes.
From what I read about his last few months in Seattle, he seems to have calmed down a little.
I guess joining a winning team will do that, but the dude still needs to learn how to rein it in before he sends Hailee into early retirement.
She’s good at her job, but she can only cover up so much bullshit before it really hits the fan.
They all settle back down, and when the flight attendant’s voice floats through the speakers that we’re about to start our descent, Linc spins back around and drops into his seat.
“You should tell her, you know,” Killer says quietly.
“I can’t. She…she deserves so much better than me.”
“Maybe she should be the one to make that decision, don’t you think?”
“It’s just a stupid crush because she’s living in my home and cooking me food. It’ll pass.”
I don’t realize what I said until he rears back, his brows practically touching his hairline.
“Living with you?”
“Uh…well, no. She just stays occasionally to save her driving all the way back to her parents’ place just to come straight back in the morning.”
“If that were the rule we lived by, we’d all be calling the arena home,” Killer points out.
“I like having her there, okay? The place feels less…lonely.”
“It would feel that way if you invited your friends there too, but that apparently isn’t a thing.”
My stomach tightens. I never really stopped to consider how it made them feel, keeping them out of my private life. We hang out often; they know me. They just…have never been that close. Having Freya in my apartment just goes to show I had nothing to be worried about.
Family.
“It was a habit,” I explain. “Keeping people out. It…” I shake my head, not sure how to explain it in a way he’ll understand without having to dive into my past. “Survival mode, I guess.”
“Bro, you don’t owe me anything. Live your life however you’d like. It’s no skin off my nose. But I can assure you, keeping people away, keeping those walls up, is what makes you lonely.”
Shit.
I lift my hand, rubbing at my tight chest.
Maybe he sees more of me than I thought.
“If she makes you happy, then you need to stop hiding. Life is fucking miserable if you have no one to share it with.”
I narrow my eyes at him, wondering where these wise words are coming from.
“Let her see you, man, because you’re fucking awesome. Even if you only let me see a small part of you.”
My guilt grows.
Silence falls between us as we make our final descent. Our touchdown is smooth, and no sooner have we landed than cell phones begin pinging with incoming messages.
“Oh shit, I forgot about this,” Killer says, staring at his screen.
“What?” I ask, glancing over.
“The club opening Hailee demanded we all attend. It’s next week. Ooooh,” he sings. “You should invite Freya.”
Pulling my cell from my pocket, I open the message that Hailee has sent to everyone with a reminder of the date she demanded we all put in our calendars months ago.
The guilt knotting up my stomach lessens as excitement creeps in.
I should definitely invite Freya. But…would she come?
She’s walked away from the spotlight. She’s trying to live a quieter life.
“Just ask. What’s the worst that happens? She says no, you get photographed with some hot bunny, it makes her insanely jealous, and she jumps your bones the second you get back to your little love nest. And if she says yes, well…potentially the same outcome, if you know what I mean.”
“The pilot knows what you mean,” I deadpan. “We’ll see.”
“You know you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
Ignoring him, I close Hailee’s message and open my conversation with Freya instead.
Cole: Just landed. Get your walking boots on. We’re going out.