Chapter 58 Freya
FREYA
Ilove a good soak in a bathtub, but bathing with Cole behind me, his solid thighs on either side of my hips, and his strong arms wrapped around my waist as I rest back on him was something else.
Okay, having his hard length poking me in the back the entire time was a tease I really didn’t need, considering just how sore I was from the night before, but it was a hardship I was willing to endure.
I was doing my very best to forget about everything that was no doubt happening on the outside; all I cared about was what was happening in that bathroom, in his bathtub.
It was perfect.
Everything since the moment he led me into his bedroom last night has been incredible.
He is incredible.
Sure, reality scares me.
I’ve learned the hard way how painful it can be, living a life under the spotlight.
But I keep telling myself that it’s going to be different this time.
Cole isn’t Rowan, and the life we’re building here isn’t the same as the one I had on the road.
I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced every red flag that exists thanks to Rowan Conaway, and I can confidently say that this time, I’m not ignoring any or hoping that things will get better with time.
Instead, everything is just…easy. And I’m learning that it’s so easy because it’s right.
Cole isn’t forcing me into a hole that doesn’t fit me. Instead, I’m stepping right in as if this is where I’ve always belonged.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect everything to be easy. I’m embarking on a relationship with a professional athlete who travels nine months of the year. It’s going to be anything but easy. But I also know that it’s going to be worth it.
Cole left me to finish up in the bathroom, promising to order in breakfast because my stomach was growling loudly—and his, of course, because the man is perpetually hungry—and he refused point-blank to allow me to cook.
He happily announced that we’re both having the day off, and I’m powerless but to do as I’m told.
There was a moment when I almost suggested that we go out for breakfast, but then reality hit, and I remembered why hibernating in Cole’s apartment was probably for the best.
Tomorrow, he’ll have to go back to life as usual, and we’ll have to deal with the fallout of last night.
As I step back into Cole’s bedroom, I find one of his hoodies and a clean pair of panties waiting for me.
Happily, I pull them both on, but before I let the fabric of his hoodie fall around my thighs, I gather it up and hold it to my nose, breathing in a deep hit of the man who is becoming everything to me.
I take off toward the living area, but my steps falter when I find him resting on his elbows at the kitchen island with his cell in his hand and a deep scowl.
“Is it that bad?” I ask, my heart sinking into my feet.
I know he promised me that we would ride this out together, but I’d be lying if there wasn’t a terrified part of me that doesn’t think I’m worthy of him standing beside me through whatever slander Rowan is going to throw my way.
Cole does a double take before slamming his cell on the counter face down and turning to look at me.
“Damn, you look better in my clothes than I do.”
“Please don’t do that,” I warn. “If we’re going to get through this together, then you can’t hide it from me. From here on out, there can’t be any secrets between us.”
“I’m not keeping anything from you, baby,” he says softly, meeting me halfway and taking my face in his hands. “I want to protect you from it all, though. If there was anything I could do to make it all go away, I would.”
“I know. But life isn’t that easy. It’s the price I have to pay for going with him in the first place, despite all the signs that I’d end up broken at the end of it.
My parents warned me. Everyone warned me.
But he had me wrapped around his little finger, and he led me around like a dog on a freaking leash. ”
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, I know that. I just…I regret it, you know.”
“You’ve gotta embrace it. Maybe it was a mistake. Or maybe it was a lesson you needed to become the person you are today. If you didn’t go with him, you may never have ended up here. And I, for one, think that would have been a travesty.”
“I’m not sure you’re going to be able to convince me that I need to thank him for anything.”
Cole chuckles. “I’m not going that far. But you know what I mean?”
I nod, understanding everything he’s saying.
“I’ve been in some really shitty situations over the years, Freya.
The kind that I wouldn’t wish on even my worst enemy, but when I look back now, I realize that each of those experiences helped shape me.
Maybe without them, I wouldn’t be one of the best goalies in the NHL.
I wouldn’t get to live in his incredible city in the kind of home that I could only dream of as an unwanted kid. ”
“Cole,” I breathe, sliding my hands up his bare chest and folding them around his neck.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. And I know it might not mean anything, but…you’re certainly not unwanted now. I’m…I’m falling for you, Cole Hansley.”
He stares down at me, his eyes wide as saucers as he fights to get a grasp on those words.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, sinking my fingers into the soft skin at the nape of his neck and holding him to me.
“You said to me very recently that we can take all of this at my speed. That works both ways. I’ve had my heart shattered and my confidence wrecked.
But it’s not just me dealing with painful things here, Cole.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but we’re stepping into new territory for you, and that is terrifying.
” He nods. The movement is slight, but it’s there.
Fear darkens his eyes, and vulnerability oozes from him.
“We have all the time in the world to deal with our issues. I’d just…I’d really like to do it together, if that's what you’d like to?”
Another nod.
“I don’t expect big declarations or grand gestures. I just want to be here with you.” I slide my right hand from his neck and press my palm against his pounding heart. “I want to continue learning what’s really in here,” I say softly. “If you’ll have me.”
“Fuck, yes,” he says, wrapping me up in his arms and holding me tight.
His entire body trembles, letting me know I was right about everything I just said.
But he’s not the only one who’s scared. He might never have done this before and is terrified of trusting his heart with someone, but I’m the one who’s already lost pieces of mine to someone who didn’t deserve it.
I just hope that we can learn to get past everything that’s desperately trying to hold us back to allow us to move forward.
As we stand there locked in our embrace, the apartment buzzer sounds.
“That’ll be our breakfast,” Cole rasps.
“I can’t believe you weren’t brave enough to cook it yourself,” I tease, refusing to let him go.
“I wanted you to have something edible. I put you through it last night.”
I smile against his chest.
Yes, yes, he did. And I feel incredible because of it.
His lips press against the top of my head and he breathes me in as the buzzer goes again.
“I should get that. I promised to feed you.”
“Mmm,” I mumble, more than happy to just stay here locked in his arms and safely protected from the rest of the world.
“Go and get comfy on the couch,” he demands when he finally releases me.
He sends me on my way with a swat to my ass, and I go with a happy giggle.
But he doesn’t. When I look back, he’s still standing in the same place, watching me with an unreadable expression on his face.
“Thank you,” he finally says, breaking the silence between us.
“What for?” I ask, confused. I’m only sitting on the couch.
“For taking a chance on me. I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’ve never…I’ve never had anything even close to this before, and I’m probably going to fuck it all up. I’m used to being alone and not having to think about anyone else, and—”
“We’ll figure it out together. Be patient with each other. We’ll both make mistakes, but that’s okay. That’s how we learn.”
I can read his fear as if it were written on the walls of his fancy penthouse.
“I’m not going to walk away because you’ve done something silly, Cole. I’m here. I’m in this with you.”
He swallows thickly and nods.
“M-me too,” he rasps before the buzzer rings for a third time, and he finally spins away and goes to answer it.
“Melvin,” he says excitedly. “Yeah, yeah. Oh, perfect. Send it up. Shit.” Even from a distance, I see the way Cole’s shoulders tense.
My heart slams against my ribs. What’s happened?
“Okay. Yeah. No, I don’t think we have any plans.
Yeah, I appreciate that, man. Thank you.
Oh, there’s an extra coffee and cinnamon bun in that order.
It should literally have you name on.” My chest tightens.
This man just told me he isn’t used to looking after others, and yet here he is, ordering breakfast for the doorman.
He knows exactly how to take care of people; he’s just never really had the opportunity to do so.
Cole places the handset back before hanging his head.
“What’s wrong?” I call.
“There’s a crowd of people outside,” he confesses reluctantly.
“Shit,” I hiss.
“They’ll get bored,” he assures me before pulling the front door open and marching out in only a pair of sweatpants.
My stomach churns as memories from times with Rowan when the media would do anything to get a piece of him play out in my head.
It was terrifying. They don’t care what lengths they have to go to; they just want to score the photo that will give them the big bucks and get their name in front of everyone.
They’re no better than the celebrities themselves, searching for their little bit of fame at someone else’s expense.
I’m just really freaking fed up with it being at my expense.
All I want to do is live my life. I don’t want the media frenzy.
I just want to live a quiet life doing the things I love with people who make my heart happy.
In only a few minutes, Cole is back with bags of food in his arms.
“Was anyone out there?” I ask nervously.
“Our elevator is fixed.”
I narrow my eyes at him.
“Yeah, I thought the same thing,” he says as he closes the space between us.
“Last night was a setup.”