Chapter 57 Cole
COLE
I’ve been awake for hours, but I can’t bring myself to let go of Freya and embark on the day.
Memories of last night float around my head. It was incredible; she was incredible.
But as much as I want to focus on all the good parts, I can’t ignore the elephant in the room.
Rowan Conaway.
Lead singer and songwriter for the Rusty Trinkets.
I’ve seen stories about him in the media time and again. I’ve never read them, because not only do I not care about him, but also, I know those stories are most likely fabricated, or at the very least, exaggerated beyond belief.
But knowing that Freya was connected to him?
A shiver races down my spine.
He’s constantly followed by the press, just waiting for his next publicity stunt that will no doubt help sell him more albums.
He took one look at mine and Freya’s entwined fingers last night, and I swear I saw dollar signs in his eyes like he was a fucking slot machine.
My stomach knots as I try to predict what might already be online.
Hailee was right to warn Freya. But she couldn’t have guessed that we’d bump into him only a few hours later.
Now he doesn’t just have photos online to spin a story out of, but an actual in-person encounter.
I need to get up and get my cell. I have no doubt that Hailee has already blown it up. And if I’m right and there’s a bullshit story doing the rounds, then I’m sure a few others will have something to say about it as well.
But I can’t. I don’t want to deal with reality or know what’s going on outside the safety of my apartment. I just want to be here with Freya sleeping soundly in my arms, pretending that everything is okay.
I know that we can handle whatever is happening on the outside. But she shouldn’t have to handle anything. She’s already been through enough. I already knew it was bad from the things she’s said and the way she reacts to certain situations, but now, I’m pretty sure I’ve underestimated everything.
If she wakes up and decides that she can’t do this with me, honestly, I wouldn’t blame her.
She’s already lived part of her life with someone who is constantly in the media. My level of fame doesn’t really compare to his, but still.
I understand her fear.
Pain rips through me at the thought of her leaving me.
But that’s what everyone does.
Why would Freya be any different?
The minutes stretch on, and the longer I have nothing but her silence and occasional snore beside me, the more I start to lose control.
The easiest thing would be the one who walks away first.
I could let her go, allow her to live the quiet life that she wants.
But…I can’t.
There is no way I can let go of the first person who’s ever truly meant something to me.
Call me selfish, but I want to keep her.
I close my eyes, hating myself for being such a selfish prick. But I can’t help it.
Don’t I deserve to have someone in my life?
“I can hear your thoughts racing,” she whispers, scaring the shit out of me.
“How?” I whisper back, tightening my hold on her, terrified that now she’s awake, she isn’t going to choose me.
“Chronic overthinker, remember? I know the signs.”
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
“Whoa, those things are banned as well, remember?”
“Shit. Do we have a Freaky Friday situation on our hands here? I swear, if I walk in the kitchen and am suddenly a culinary genius, I’m gonna freak the hell out.”
Freya's body trembles a beat before the most incredible sound hits my ear. A happy giggle.
“I’m not sure I’m willing to stand in goal during a hockey game, if that’s what this looks like. I’m way too small and weak for that.”
An image of Freya in full pads fills my head, and I can’t lie, my cock instantly jerks to life.
“I’m pretty sure you just unlocked a new fantasy,” I confess, grinding myself against her ass, just to make sure she can feel it.
“Really?” She balks. “Me in all your hockey gear is going to be the opposite of sexy.”
“I have to disagree. I think you’d look incredible.”
“Hmm…I’m not seeing it.”
“Hopefully one day I will.”
“You’re a menace,” she teases before falling quiet. Suddenly, I understand how she knew I was freaking out.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
She takes a moment to consider her answer, causing my heart to start racing.
She’s regretting everything.
She wants to leave.
She—
“I know you wanted me to be able to walk this morning so that I could make breakfast, but I’m not sure that’s going to be possible.”
I’m pretty sure I release the most enormous sigh of relief ever.
“If that’s all the problems we have, I’ll take it.”
“I think we both know that we probably have more issues than my legs waiting for us.”
“Hmm,” I mumble, still wanting to lock us up in a bubble of denial.
Silence falls between us as we drift off into our own thoughts.
Eventually, Freya twists herself around in my arms so we’re facing each other.
“How much do you know about him?” Freya asks hesitantly.
“Enough to know that our cells are probably blowing up as we speak.”
“Yeah,” she agrees.
“I was never anything but a pawn in his games,” she starts, but I reach out and press my fingers to her lips.
“You don’t have to explain anything.”
Her eyes lower, severing our connection for a moment. But before I know it, she’s back with me.
“I know. But you deserve to know more than the scraps I’ve given you so far.”
“It’s your story, Freya. It’s okay if you want to keep it that way.”
“There’s only one person who knows my story. The rest of the world knows the one he spun, and something tells me that last night will be the same.”
“Let him,” I say, a little harsher than I intended, making Freya rear back a little. “Sorry. What I mean is, just like back then, the only people who need to know the truth are the two here right now. He can try and spin whatever line he wants. It’s not going to affect us.”
“You can’t say that. You don’t know what he’ll—”
“It doesn’t matter what he says, Freya. He can feed whatever bullshit he wants to the media. I know the truth.”
She stares at me with hopeful, trusting eyes that makes my heart hurt.
This incredible woman trusts me. After everything she’s been through, after she’s had her heart shattered and her faith in men destroyed, she trusts me. It’s never something I want to take for granted.
“I know you, Freya. The real you. Not the woman who was on a worldwide tour and forced to live out of a bus with the press following her every move. Not the woman who was forced to follow someone around, hiding in the shadows and believing his lies and bullshit.”
She gasps, telling me that I’ve hit the nail right on the proverbial head.
Reaching out, I press my hand to her chest.
“I know the person in here. A person who should never be smothered, or hidden, or used to climb any kind of ladder.”
Tears fill her eyes, but I’m quickly learning the difference between sad and happy ones, and I’m pretty confident these are the latter.
I can accept those.
“He’s an asshole who had no idea how incredible the woman at his side really was. He doesn’t care about people; the only person he cares about is himself.”
She nods again, telling me that I’m right.
“Whatever he throws at us, whatever tale he tries to spin, we’ll let Hailee deal with it, and we’ll let it roll off our backs. His words might sting, but they can’t hurt us, not really.”
“How was I lucky enough to end up here?”
“I’m not sure, baby. But it’s a question I ask myself every day.”
I lean forward and brush my lips against hers.
She hesitates, no doubt because of morning breath, but eventually, Freya will learn that there is nothing that can turn me off her.
Not her past, whether it be true or not, not her present, and certainly not her future, because as long as I get my way, she’ll be standing right by my side.
“Aside from all that, how are you feeling? Sore?”
She wiggles her hips a little, testing herself out.
“Yeah, a little.”
“I’ve got the perfect cure for that.”
“Don’t tell me, get back in the saddle?”
I bark out a laugh. “That wasn’t what I was going to suggest, but now you’ve mentioned it …”
Freya shrieks when I tickle her ribs as I tug her beneath me.
Resting my forearms on either side of her head, I stare down at her. There’s a wide smile on her face, and her eyes are glittering with happiness.
“When it gets tough, remember this moment,” I say. “It’ll get easier again, I promise.”
Leaning forward, I kiss the tip of her nose before forcing myself to climb out of bed.
“Hey, where are you going?” she whines as I walk around the bed, naked as the day I was born.
I know she’s watching me. Her attention burns into my back, ensuring my cock remains hard and ready for her to get back in the saddle, so to speak.
Glancing back over my shoulder, I find exactly what I was expecting.
“Up here, baby,” I tease, forcing her to lift her eyes from my ass to my face.
Her cheeks blaze at being caught, and I fucking love it.
“Just wait and see,” I say before ducking into the bathroom and kicking the door closed behind me. We might have taken our relationship to a new level last night, but I’m not sure we’re at “listening to each other pee” quite yet.
I do my thing before turning the faucet on to fill the tub. I grab a box of Epsom salts and sprinkle a generous amount into the water, letting the floral scent fill the air.
Once I’m happy with the temperature, I let myself back into the bedroom to find Freya sitting up in the middle of my bed with my sheets wrapped around her naked body.
What a fucking vision.
“Are you running a bath?”
“Sure am. I’m gonna make coffee, then I’ll be back to put you in it.”
“Put me in it?” she repeats.
“Yep. That way, you don’t need to use those wobbly legs.”
I march toward the door but pause when she calls my name.
“Are you going out there naked?”
I glance down at myself.
“Uh…yeah. Problem?”
She drags her bottom lip through her teeth.
“No, not at all. I just…wasn’t expecting you to.”
“Get used to it, I don’t have to be on my best behavior for my personal chef anymore.” I wink at her before strutting out of the room, ensuring I give my ass an extra wiggle as I go.