Chapter 20
Grayson
In every arena, the smell of man sweat has been embedded in the rooms like it’s soaked into the walls.
I shouldn’t ogle Austin’s ass as he gets dressed in Minnesota’s visitor training room with me. But I’m only a man with zero self-control for him. As much as it pains me, I have to tell him the truth.
“You’re healed enough that no one will think you were spanked, so you can change with the team.” I watch his glutes ripple as he tugs on his base layer.
He glances at me over his shoulder. “But then I’d be depriving you of your favorite view.”
I stalk over and seize his mouth, drowning in vanilla-cinnamon sweetness.
A knock on the door makes us jump apart, and Austin jams his head through his shirt.
Clearing my throat, I call, “Come in.”
“Your door is never shut.” King surveys the room.
“My fault.” Austin flushes. “I must’ve done it when I walked in. Are you okay? Do you need Grayson? He can re-wrap my knuckles later.”
King’s gaze goes back and forth between us. “Nah. My hairband broke. Hoping you have something to hold my braids back.” His intricate pattern of zigzag braids touches his shoulders.
I cross the room to my duffle and riffle through it to find the hairband bag.
Hockey players have specific tastes when it comes to their flow, so I try to keep a variety.
I find a note from Austin, and my heart stops.
It reads You complete me. He’s been leaving me famous movie line quotes because he says they got it right. I bury it and act casual.
“Here.” I toss King a bag of hair ties. “Pick whatever you want.”
“You’re a lifesaver.” King digs out a cloth-covered band and waves as he exits the room.
“I found your note and want to do bad things to you, but we already almost got caught kissing. I know better than to do something so risky.” My hands are in my pockets so I don’t reach for him.
“Don’t apologize. I’ve heard no is a complete sentence, and I can say it.” His eyes dance with amusement as he holds out his hand for me to bandage. “You can do those things later.”
I quickly switch out the bandage since there’s no actual reason for it besides his need to change here instead of the locker room.
“Thanks, Sunshine.” He pecks my lips, leaving me stunned with both the kiss and the nickname as he saunters away. It will end badly for me if we get caught before telling the team. We might be breaking the rules together, but I’m expendable—he’s not.
Pregame treatments are a blur, and before I know it, the team’s out on the ice.
The Minneapolis fans electrify the stadium and players to a fast-paced start.
I can’t keep my eyes off Austin. His confidence on the ice is unparalleled.
The puck drops, and he’s off like a shot, all explosive energy and grace.
Drake loses the face-off, but Austin strips their winger, and our first line is unstoppable. Lucky and Drake seem to read each other’s minds and pull all of Minnesota’s defense to them, leaving Austin wide-open.
He scores the first goal, and my chest swells with pride.
Watching Austin has never interfered with my job until tonight.
Every few minutes, I have to give myself a mental shake to pay attention to the other players on the ice.
Track their movements and expressions for tells indicating pain.
A hockey player can bleed out and look me dead in the eyes, swearing it’s just a scratch and he can play.
Half my job is dissecting their play before they complain. If they’re complaining, shit is bad.
They play with minor and nagging injuries, and tonight they aren’t showing any signs of stress or pain. But I stay vigilant in between staring at the hottest man on the planet playing incredible hockey, earning three points between goals and assists.
Minnesota isn’t going down without a fight. Our offense is skating circles around them, but our defense is average at best, which makes it a high-scoring game. We’re tied at four in the third period.
This is prime injury time, and I check in with each player after their shift to stare them in the eye, seeing what they won’t say out loud. So far so good, but I’m not stupid enough to believe that will take us through the end of the game.
The team wins by one in a nail-biter, and no one has an injury that requires more than my examination and instructions to use ice and heat.
We’re headed for the playoffs again; I can sense it with the way the team is gelling.
Our defense needs improvement, but luckily Liska and Benz can save impossible shots.
It’s a fast turnaround, so the guys are drinking in the hotel bar instead of going out. The team has taken over and spread out between the bar and tables. We push together three high tops to stand around.
I purposely put distance between Austin and me to avoid any accidental telltale contact.
King steps up to the top of the tables. “I made a decision, and just want to run it by y’all.” His bright eyes laugh at our confusion.
“If you’re looking to be traded, the answer is no,” Drake says with no inflection.
“Agreed.” Austin holds up his half-empty glass.
“Daddy Drake and our captain have laid down the law. Hope it’s something else.” Lucky nips at Drake’s ear.
King clenches his jaw and sighs. “No. It’s not a trade.”
“Spill it, work husband once removed,” Benz says, and Leo growls. “What?” Benz can’t pull off the innocent act. “He’s Griff’s work husband, and I’m Griff’s BFF, so he’s my work husband once removed.”
King shakes his head, and I’m afraid he might leave.
“Ignore them. What’s up?” I ask.
He wraps a hand around one of his braids and tugs. “There was so much shit about what I said about being on the queer spectrum, I should walk out onto the ice during Pride Night.”
Our group is uncharacteristically silent. Since we have out men and women in our organization, our new tradition is that they take center ice before the game to show solidarity and show representation for fans and the LGBTQ community.
“That’s admirable, but you don’t owe the public your private life if you’re not ready.” I round the table and slap him on the back. He’s not a touchy-feely person, but it seems important to show my support.
“I’d be letting young guys down who look up to me if I don’t take a stand. None of the out players look like me, and representation matters.” King cracks his knuckles.
Lucky clears his throat. “Seriously, this is a big decision. You have time to think it over, but your life won’t be the same afterward.
Drake and I have each other, Liska has Trevor, and Benz has Leo.
We all have someone to lean on and experience the uncomfortable and hurtful moments with us. Are you seeing anyone?”
“No. But my parents support my decision.”
“Lucky’s not implying he doesn’t support you.
We all do, and we all stand behind you,” Drake says, and we nod in agreement.
“It can be easier when you have a partner, but that complicates things as well. You’ve seen me lose it when someone makes a derogatory comment about my man.
” He grips Lucky around the waist and kisses his temple.
“Fortunately, you’re on the right team.”
“We have your back,” Austin says, and his gaze finds mine. His face looks conflicted, and I assume it’s because he’s undecided whether he wants to talk about himself.
A few minutes later, Austin drags me out of the bar to the elevators with stress vibrating off of him. He winces as Benz rushes to catch the doors before they slide closed, and he and Leo ride up with us.
Leo’s holding Benz close, and Benz is practically a mooning pile of goo.
We’re all on the same floor, and for appearances, I turn toward my room, intending to knock on Austin’s door after Leo and Benz disappear into one of their rooms. Leo has stepped down as an official coach, but travels with the team, paying for his own room.
“Gray, I have that thing to show you.” Austin’s eyes shift nervously, like he’s about to commit a crime.
“Is this a sexy thing or boring?” Benz jokes.
“You’re the one who always says no kissy-face. We can’t give our secrets away.” I squash my instinct to slap his ass, knowing Leo might punch me.
“They used to dress alike and be so fun.” Benz pulls out his keycard. “Let’s leave them to their sports talk, Lovie.”
“We’re wearing the same sweatpants,” Austin says indignantly, as if he’s offended. I won’t willingly admit I love it when he insists I wear his clothes. Me in his clothes is an aphrodisiac for him so I’ll never say no.
Benzy shrugs and there’s a thud when the door closes behind them. I’m sure they can’t keep their hands off each other.
I catch up with Austin, eager to find out why he’s so agitated.
He paces as soon as we get into his room, in which he clearly planned for a romantic night.
It’s a departure from the usual mess, with no dirty clothes in sight, and he brought an air freshener.
The king bed is made and turned down to be inviting.
On the bedside table is my favorite sports drink and snack—barbecue baked chips, which he doesn’t like.
His distress stops me from commenting on his thoughtfulness.
“Am I failing them? Should I have said something about myself? I should set an example and walk out with the queer players on Pride Night.”
I stop him with my hands on his shoulders.
“Slow down. Everything we said to King also applies to you. You don’t owe the team details of your personal life.
Just because the team lives in each other’s pockets doesn’t mean you’re required to tell them.
It’s been barely a month since you figured out my dick is your favorite thing.
You’re allowed time to process that monumental fact. ” I cup myself for comic relief.
Austin sits on his bed, and I lower myself so we’re connected, leg to leg, hip to hip, and shoulder to shoulder. He leans in, nestling his head in the crook of my neck.
“I couldn’t do this without you. I mean, literally and emotionally.” He sighs a laugh.
“Pride Night is almost two months away. There’s plenty of time to decide and figure out if you want to come out.
This team has taken very different approaches to coming out, and you’re in control of your narrative.
Jayce held a press conference, Lucky and Drake kissed for the camera, and Leo and Benz have not confirmed or denied their relationship.
Telling the team is vastly different from telling the world.
” I hug him and tilt us backward until our heads are on the bed while our feet remain on the floor.
“There are smaller steps to take than Pride Night.”
“It feels like a betrayal of you and their trust.” He rubs his sternum.
“It isn’t. It took me years to come out, and it wasn’t until I gave up my hockey career.
Thankfully, times have changed, and it’s not career-ending to come out.
But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. King didn’t tell the team he’s gay until he felt safe, and he’s known his entire life. Give yourself some grace.”
“Please don’t think I’m ashamed of you or us.” He throws a leg over me.
“If King came to you yesterday and said he realized last month he’s into dudes, what advice would you give him?” My lips twitch as I fight a smile as he glares at me.
“Don’t be all logical when I’m full of self-pity!”
“I have some goddamn nerve.” I blanket him with my body. “You deserve the same space as everyone else. The guys love you because you care about them. They won’t judge you for taking time to come to terms with your newfound sexuality. I don’t judge you.”
“You’re too good to me.” He holds me tight.
“Not possible. You didn’t pressure me when I kept my sexuality a secret, and I’m going to return the courtesy. You don’t have to have all the answers, Mr. Perfect.” Being on top of him is getting me hard, but I don’t want this to be about sex.
“You’re not going anywhere.” Austin traps me in place as I try to slide off him.
“You got me. What are you going to do with me?” I grind on him.
“Whatever the hell I want.”