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30
Hell and Hope
Q uinn smiled lightly pleased she’d made him chuckle. This Kate woman sounded like a psychopath. How could the nasty woman accuse him of rape? Even when she thought Alex was a jerk cop, she’d witnessed the way he dealt with the situation when those guys had catcalled her. It was obvious to her even then that Alex was a protector, not a predator. The man had saved her more than once. There was no way he’d harm a woman. She knew that to her core.
“I was told if I left quietly she wouldnae press charges and the matter would be closed,” he said. “Part of me was relieved to get the hell out of there while I could, but it was a painfully bitter pill to swallow. I loved my job, and I was damn good at it. No’ to mention it was infuriating to be accused of such bullshit and to be so bloody helpless to fight against it.”
“And that’s why you came here,” Quinn stated as the puzzle pieces started to come together.
“Naw,” he said, and Quinn eyed him, wondering how much more there could be.
“I warned ye it was a long story.”
“I’ve got nowhere else to be.” She smiled softly, leaning back in the chair and pulling up a tartan throw blanket around her. “So what happened after you were fired?” she asked, still astounded by everything he’d gone through.
“I fell into a depression. Drank too much. Avoided people. It was a dark time in my life.” Firelight glinted off his stormy blue eyes.
Listening to Alex’s story, Quinn was beginning to understand why he seemed to keep a wall up. A small glimmer of hope caught in her chest when she realized that he’d let his guard down with her tonight. He was letting her in. She still wondered about how much the woman in the photo played into his reluctance for anything physical with her, but everything he was telling her about Kate made her understand why he kept himself so guarded. Everyone had their stories—their history that made them who they were—and Alex was no different.
“What was the changing point?” she asked softly.
Clearing his throat, he looked down into his scotch glass as he mindlessly swirled its contents.
“One night, I awoke to someone trying to beat the shite out of me with a heavy chain.”
“ What? ” Quinn was aghast. The very thought made her blood curdle.
“Kate hired someone to murder me, but she wanted to make sure I suffered first,” Alex bit the words out.
“Oh my God, Alex.” Quinn felt her eyes sting with tears. She couldn’t stand to think of anyone wanting to hurt him never mind kill him. It was insane. Without any thought, she got off her chair, scooted onto his lap, and wrapped her arms around him. The need to be close to him nearly overwhelmed her. She needed to feel him and know he was very much alive and well. It horrified her to think what he’d been through.
“I’m so, so glad you are okay. I can’t even fathom what that must have been like,” she said as a tear escaped down her cheek.
“Och, lass, ’tis okay,” he said, gently wiping her tear with his thumb as his other arm wrapped around her.
The feel of her warm embrace took hold of his senses, and a lump formed in his throat. An emotion he didn't know he possessed hit him square in the chest as he realized that this feisty, quirky, sexy, strong woman genuinely cared about him.
Alex had no idea how much he needed a good solid hug until that moment. Aside from the crackle of the fire, the world seemed to fall away around them as they found solace in each other’s embrace. Alex would have expected, based on his recent history with Quinn, that his cock would spring to life with her lush behind nestled in his lap. Even though those thoughts skirted at the edge of his mind, he found that just holding her and her holding him brought a sense of relief, like the burden he’d carried for so long was finally lifted. For the first time in a long time, Alex felt a rightness that he couldn’t explain.
Quinn finally pulled back from their embrace and looked at Alex with concern etched in her wet caring eyes. “What happened?” Afraid to know, but needing to at the same time.
Tucked up comfortably on his lap, Alex absently stroked Quinn’s back through the hoody she wore. “Well, ye know all too well what happens when someone wakes me from my sleep.”
“I sure do.” She snickered, recalling the first night in Alex’s bed and how quickly she was whipped under his strong body with her wrists tightly pinned above her and his gun dug under her jaw. Her eyes went wide as fear rippled through her. Alex seemed to realize what she was thinking, and he quickly answered her silent question.
“I didnae kill him, lass. Dinnae fash.”
“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you had,” she said seriously.
“He was a fool and didnae get very far. I knew even then that Kate was behind the attack.”
“My God, I can’t imagine.” Quinn’s arm was loosely resting around his neck. Her hand was on his strong shoulder.
“He was arrested, and in his plea bargain, he gave up the whole nasty plot that Kate had cooked up. It was supposed to look like a drug deal gone bad.” He scoffed. “It could huv been believable as I was in a dark place and had withdrawn from my life.”
“You were taking drugs?” she asked gently looking at him worriedly.
“Naw, I’m a cop. I’d seen enough broken lives from drugs that even in my darkest hour I wouldnae go there. It’s nasty stuff.”
“The whole thing sounds like a twisted movie plot,” Quinn said, settling in closer to him.
“Aye, it felt like one. To be honest, her trying to huv me killed was probably the best thing that could’ve happened. Turned out, it wasnae the first time she’d tried to huv someone killed.”
“No!” Quinn could hardly believe it.
“Aye, before movin’ to Scotland, she hired someone to murder her ex-husband, but she got off because, at the time, they had no witnesses and apparently not enough evidence. When this came out though, witnesses came forward, and they ended up with a shit tonne of new evidence. She was retried for her ex-husband’s murder as well as new charges of attempted murder and a whole host of other charges.
“Other guys on the squad came forward too with their stories about how she’d blackmailed them. This woman was a piece of work. She had covered her tracks right up until the thug who tried to kill me. I’m almost grateful for the prick as he was her undoing. Ironic really that she’d gotten away with so much—fooling some of the smartest people I’ve ever met—but then some low life is the one who finally takes her down.”
“The ultimate revenge.” Quinn grimaced.
“Aye. Everything came out. It was nuts, and she couldn’t hide from the truth. She not only admitted to everything, but she bragged about it like she was some kind of mastermind.”
Quinn was shaking her head. “Insane.”
“Totally. It was expected that she’d get life in prison with all the charges against her, but the morning of sentencing, they found her hanging in her jail cell.” His look was distant.
Quinn’s fingers found the nape of his neck, and she stroked him tenderly as she tried to comprehend all he was telling her.
“Typical Kate. She always found a way out when she was backed in a corner.”
Concerned big brown eyes looked into his. “How on earth have you dealt with all that?” she asked gently.
With a sad smile, Alex shook his head. “Kate’s death gave me some closure. Not that I wanted her dead per se, but somehow, it gave things a definitive end.” He adjusted Quinn in his lap. “The department re-instated me to full status and issued a public statement apologizing for their error. I was completely exonerated of any wrongdoing.”
“Wow. Well, that’s good at least.”
“Aye, it was good,” he said. “The problem was, at that point, my head just wasn’t in it anymore. I lost my drive. Instead of loving the job I’d been trained for, it felt like a constant reminder of the hell I’d been through. I considered leaving policing altogether.”
“I can’t blame you.”
“An exchange came up for Canada, and I dinnae ken. It just felt like something I needed to do. A chance to start over I suppose. I didn’t even ken where the hell Calen was, but I was happy to just get out of Scotland and get away from all the memories that were still too fresh.” He sighed. “Do ye ken the worst part of it all?”
Quinn shook her head. “What?”
“I fell for it—for the lies. Fell for her. She had me completely fooled. I should huv known. How could I not huv known that she was a pathological liar, a master manipulator, a fucking psychopath? I still don’t understand how I didn’t see it,” he berated himself.
Quinn could see that it ate at him, and she could only imagine how horrible it would be to be caught in someone’s lies and deceit.
“You said yourself, she blackmailed and manipulated many people, intelligent people. The fact that she was even able to get the job as your boss goes to show that this woman was exactly as you say—a master manipulator. She even managed to get away with murdering her husband! Thank God, the truth all came out. It sounds to me like everyone was fooled by her at one point or another. You’re only human, Alex. How could you have known?”
Alex absently squeezed the gentle curve of Quinn’s hip in his lap. “She did dupe a lot of people, but I just can’t understand how I didn’t see it sooner. Looking back I did notice things, but I brushed them under the rug. I never would huv thought she was completely mental. I felt on top of my game, invincible until she came along. I was young, successful, and loved my career, and in an instant, my life fell to shite. That woman is my one regret,” he said resentfully.
Quinn could hear the indignation in his voice, but she didn’t agree with regrets. For a guy who liked to be in control, she could see how frustrating it all must have been, but she saw things a bit differently.
“I get that, but if it weren’t for all that happened,” she said softly, “would you have come to Canada? I know it sounds cliche, saying things happen for a reason and in this case maybe a bit extreme, but still, maybe there is at least a silver lining to it all.”
Alex tensed. “I think ye might be missing the point. I loved my life as it was. I didnae want it to change.”
“You aren’t happy here?” She cut to the chase.
Alex’s hand that was stroking her back now held the arm of the chair. “I was in special ops in Scotland. I had it made,” he said as if she hadn’t heard how great his life had been.
Quinn untucked herself from Alex’s lap and was about to stand when his strong arm caught around her waist pulling her back down onto him. “Dinnae leave.” His voice was strained.
That voice nearly broke her. She could almost feel his internal struggle. She softened and lifted a hand to his stubbled jaw. The man held onto so much pain. She could see it now in his stormy blue eyes, and it pierced her heart.
Alex’s thoughts were as deep as a Scottish glen, and he held Quinn to him as if she were a healing balm for his tumultuous soul. Without another word spoken between them, the evening’s conversation hanging heavily, they soon drifted off to sleep.
Alex awoke a time later. The logs were burnt through, and the remaining glowing embers did little to warm the room. Quinn still lay peacefully in his lap, her head resting against his chest. Alex liked her in his arms. Something about it just felt good. Stroking her soft hair, she stirred.
“Mm,” she sighed sleepily. “Sorry, I must have fallen asleep.” She yawned and for the second time that evening attempted to get off his lap, but before she could, Alex’s arm scooped her up. He stood up holding her close.
“Ooh,” she squealed in surprise. Alex chuckled as he carried her to the bedroom. Laying her on the bed, he pulled off his t-shirt and sweatpants before getting in beside her. The coolness of the room had penetrated the bedding, and he felt Quinn shiver before he pulled her tight to him and they both fell back into a peaceful sleep.