39
Oh Mean Cop
A s Lachlan disappeared into his brother’s cabin, Quinn looped around the driveway and headed back down the mountain road. She couldn’t help the tear that slid down her cheek. It had been lovely meeting Lachlan, but it drove home all that she was missing out on with Alex. Alex’s family sounded wonderful, and if they were anything like Lachlan, she was sure they were all amazing. God, she wondered if Alex knew just how lucky he was to have such a family. To have people who loved him so much and had his back. To have a sibling who would travel across the world just to check in. It was something Quinn had never known in her life.
She drove along the darkened winding roads back to the inn deep in thought. Flashing lights in her rearview mirror caught her off guard, and then the whoop of the siren caused her heart to stutter. Her first thought was Alex. Would she ever not hear a siren and think of him? She growled in frustration. She'd been speeding. Again. Apparently, she hadn’t learned her lesson.
With the glaring headlights and flashing blue and red police lights in the darkness behind her, she could just make out the silhouette of the officer stalking towards her car, and her heart thudded in her rib cage. The knock on her window startling her from her spiralling thoughts.
Through the window, she saw his black uniform and his black gun in its holster around his trim waist. She rolled her window down. “I need ye to step oot of the vehicle.” His voice commanded her before she could say a word.
Mean Cop. “Alex, I’m not getting out. If you want to give me a ticket, then just do it, and get it over with,” she said angrily with her heart fluttering in defiance.
“It’s Sergeant Mackenzie, and I told ye to step oot,” he said in a deadly serious voice.
Quinn's cheeks burned as her pulse kicked up wildly. What the heck? How dare he talk to her like that? Oh, she would tell him exactly where he could go! She huffed angrily, getting out of her car and slamming the door behind her, not caring how loudly the sound echoed in the quiet of the night. But then when she was standing toe to toe with him, her traitorous heart thundered in her chest. Frick . She'd spent the afternoon with his gorgeous twin, but it was nothing compared to the gorgeousness of the man before her. Mean Hot Cop was bite-your-lip-as-heat-licked-between-your-thighs sexy. Dark stubble lined his strong jaw. He was chiselled rugged sexiness, and she loathed herself for wanting to jump his bones. Fortunately, she was too angry to get completely sidetracked by his hotness.
“I’m out, okay. Now what, Alex…Sergeant Mackenzie?” She couldn’t keep the scorn from her voice. She was ready to blast the man, but when she looked up at his too-handsome face under the shadow of his police cap, she was almost brought to her knees. Alex Mackenzie’s stormy blue eyes were shining on her…. lovingly?
He stepped closer to her and cupped the side of her face gently with one strong hand. “Christ, I missed ye,” he murmured before bringing his lips down on hers and claiming her in a feral-searing kiss.
Quinn whimpered and felt like her knees might buckle. There was so much passion in his kiss. How could he make her melt just like that? His kiss lit her on fire and drowned her at the same time. The headiness of him taking her, sweeping his tongue into her mouth, needing her. But a voice in the back of her mind emerged through the greedy hunger she felt for him. No, Quinn , she thought. No. It’ll just end in more heartache. As hard as it was, she forced herself to pull away from him.
“Alex, I can’t do this.” Her breath was heavy as she turned away from him.
Quinn’s words were an ice-cold shower on Alex. He stepped back from her, realizing it was going to take more than kisses to win her over. But when she turned back to him, he saw the hurt in her eyes, the hurt he’d put there… A fiercely protective feeling came over him. He needed to fix this. Fix his mistakes. And he silently vowed, then and there, that he'd never be the cause of her hurt ever again.
“Oh my God, what happened?” Her expression suddenly changed when she noticed his bandaged hand.
“It’s nothing, lass.” He tried to brush it off.
“Tell me,” she said firmly.
Alex didn’t want to talk about his hand, but he supposed it was a good thing that she cared to know at all. She said she didn’t want his kiss, but she’d kissed him back too, at least for a moment. He’d felt it. He desperately wanted her forgiveness. He never wanted anything so badly, but at the moment, the lass was fixated on his bandaged hand.
A car drove past them, reminding Alex that they stood on the side of a dark mountain road. “Come, let’s sit in my truck and talk.” There was trepidation in her beautiful brown eyes, and it looked like she might argue, but much to his relief, she nodded.
He opened the front door, offering her his good hand to help her in, and he felt stupidly pleased when she let him help her up. He'd take the small win. Striding around to the driver’s side, he got in beside her. She sat with her hands folded tightly in her lap. Her big eyes looked at him expectantly. God, it was so good to see her but it tore at him—the apprehension that emanated from her. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and her pretty face had subtle puffiness to it. He knew all too well the telltale signs of too many shed tears, and his gut twisted. How could he have hurt her?
“Are you okay?” she asked, nodding toward his bandaged hand, breaking his thoughts.
“Aye. ‘Tis fine,” he said, lifting it and feeling a slight throb.
“Well?” she probed.
Alex sighed, knowing she wanted details. He wanted to talk about the two of them and not his stupid injury that should have never happened.
"If you're not going to talk to me, then I'm just going to go," she said wearily, reaching for the door handle.
“Stay." His voice was hoarse. She looked back at him and whatever she saw in his eyes convinced her because she nodded and settled again in the passenger seat.
"I got a call today. A drug bust that went awry.”
Quinn’s eyes widened. “In Calen?”
“No, in Cache.” Cache was a city just shy of an hour west of Calen.
“How come they called you all the way out there?”
“I have tactical training, and they needed backup,” he answered nonchalantly. “It was a shite show when I got there.”
Quinn shook her head as if trying to comprehend what Alex was saying. “I know you’re a cop, but I still find this weirdly disconcerting,” she muttered.
“Aye, well, I dinnae often get called out of Calen." He looked out the front windshield into the darkness. "To be honest, it felt good to do the work I’ve been trained fer. Like moving a muscle that hasnae been used in a while. Bear loved it too.”
“Oh my God, where is Bear?” she asked, suddenly concerned.
“Ach, not to worry, lass. I dropped him back at the cottage with Lachlan. Bear was snoring in front of the fireplace when I left him.”
A small smile tugged her lip and she nodded, in obvious relief. Alex liked that she'd grown fond of his pup. Hopefully, she was fond of the owner too.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but tell me about this "shite show.”
Alex’s lips twitched in a half grin. “We got inside this old warehouse, and two bams came at me with knives.” He opened and closed his fingers on his injured hand as he spoke.
“What?” Quinn gasped.
“Bams—Two guys,” Alex corrected, looking up into her concerned big brown eyes.
“Not that part,” Quinn snapped, exasperated. “They came at you with knives?” She couldn't keep the dismay from her voice.
“It’s okay, lass. I wasnae in danger,” he reassured her, feeling a puff of hope form in his chest at her concern.
She looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “What the heck does a dangerous day look like to you?” she bit out, aghast.
“Perhaps there was a wee bit of danger,” Alex conceded with his lips tugged into a smirk. “Anyway, while I fought off the one bam, the other one managed to slice my hand.” He held up his bandaged hand, still unimpressed that the guy had managed to cut him.
“Oh my God, Alex.” Quinn looked at him with so much concern in her eyes that it nearly choked him up. But it also fortified his hope. She cared.
“’Tis fine. Only a nick.” He cleared his throat trying to keep emotion from creeping in.
She gave him a sideways look. “I don’t think they wrap up nicks like that,” she said, nodding towards the hand that was bandaged like an oversized mitt with an opening on the end for his fingertips.
“Aye. Well, at the time, I barely noticed I’d even been cut.”
She shook her head and looked like she was trying to imagine the scenario. “What happened when you did notice?”
“I got pissed off, took their knives away, and zip-tied them. Then went to help with the rest.”
She bit her full lip worriedly, and it did that thing to him that it always did. God help him.
“The rest? How many guys were there?”
“Twenty-four, but it was me and the rest of the SWAT team taking them down. We had the place secured within seven minutes,” he stated as if it were the time it took to cook a pizza and not take down thirty-one men with weapons.
“Holy shit!” Quinn stared at him wide eyed.
Alex chuckled at her reaction. “Aye, not a bad time. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured, and we got all the bastards. That’s all that matters.”
“Wow,” Quinn said with a stunned expression, but those sexy brown eyes gave her away. Not that she was going to say it, but Alex could see she was impressed too, and that pleased him immensely.
"Bear was the hero of the day. He took down a few guys. He was made for this stuff, I swear. I’m going to have to pick him up a steak.” Alex said fondly.
Everything Alex was telling her sounded more like a gangster movie than real life. She supposed she’d thought of Alex as a sort of peacekeeper/ticket-giver. She knew he’d been involved with more dangerous work back in Scotland, but she didn’t realize that he was doing that kind of work here in Canada too.
She was quiet for a moment as she tried to process everything he’d told her. It was crazy to think that while she sat having a lovely visit with his brother, Alex was taking down bad guys like some kind of superhero. The thought made her shiver and more with arousal than anything else. Crap. She should keep her attraction to him in check. This was the same guy who'd broken her heart a mere two days ago.
“Your workday sounds completely intense and honestly insane.” She eyed him dubiously, “And I have a feeling you like it that way.”
Alex’s lips lifted in the corners and his stormy blue eyes lit with a twinkle. “’Tis not my usual, but I confess, I do enjoy the rush of it all. ’Tis very satisfying arresting bloody bams who've grown so arrogant they think they're untouchable. That moment when they realize the game is up.” He looked at her from under his dark brow, and a little shiver rippled up Quinn’s spine. Try as she might. She couldn't help it. Her nether regions were hanging on his every word. Lethal Alex was hard to resist.
She shook her head, not wanting her thoughts to go there. “Is your hand going to be okay?” she asked, returning to a safer subject.
“Aye. I had to have thirty or so stitches on the back of my hand, but I’m lucky it didn’t sever any nerves. It should be as good as new in a couple of weeks. On the bright side, I get paid sick leave from work.”
“Ah, yes, a thirty stitch little nick,” she said, her voice honey-sweet with sarcasm.
His mouth lifted in a smirk. “Something like that.”
“Right,” she muttered. “Does it hurt?” She reached for his injured hand to hold it in both of hers while she tenderly touched his fingers that were free of the bandage wrap. It bothered her that he’d been injured, and she just needed to feel him to make sure he was truly okay.
“It’s a bit sore, but no’ so bad.” His voice grew gruff.
“Look at me, lass,” he said gently. When she raised her big brown eyes to meet his, Alex felt the breath rush out of him. Christ, his feelings for her were overwhelming, but he refused to hide again like a coward. “Quinn, I’m so, so sorry, lass. I was a complete arse.”
Quinn didn’t say a word. Instead, she eyed him patiently waiting for him to elaborate. He knew he had to explain himself, but it was hard to find the words.
“Making love to ye, lass… God, I’ve never known anything like it.” He looked up at her, needing to know she understood.
“Neither have I,” she admitted quietly, toying with her hands in her lap.
Alex smiled lightly. He was glad she’d felt it too. “Honestly, Quinn, it scared me. I didn’t know what to think. I hadn’t expected it. I hadn’t expected ye.”
Her big brown eyes studied him intently. “What happened between us, God.” He breathed, raking a hand through his hair. “I didnae ken it could be that way. It was like a rush of freedom and bliss I dinnae think I’ve ever felt before. It was exhilarating, but at the same time,” Alex sobered, "at the same time, I felt terrified," he admitted.
“Of what?” she asked, her eyes curious but soft. He could happily die drowning in the depths of those eyes. He wanted to lean in and kiss her, show her the need that burned within him. But he knew he owed her more.
“I think I was scared of letting ye in and letting go of the life I’d made.” He looked out to the dark mountain road through the windshield as he tried to put words to what he’d felt. “I dinnae ken. Since coming to Canada, I’ve lived a life of discipline and structure. I've made myself and my life impenetrable, but then ye came along. It's like ye cracked into my carefully crafted world, the moment I laid eyes on ye."
"I did?" she said with a small voice that made him want to pull her into his arms.
"Aye. Ye penetrated my impenetrable walls and opened up a part of me I didn’t even ken existed." He shook his head. "I dinnae ken why it scared me, but it did. After I made love to ye," his voice grew husky, "it's like it came to a head. I didnae ken what was happening only that everything felt different and it's like I wanted to hide away like a coward.”
Alex stared out the window regretting how clueless he'd been.
"You penetrated my world too." Her shaky voice cut through his thoughts. Alex's eyes landed on hers.
"And can I just say how ironic it is that the man who runs head first into danger would call himself a coward?"
He smirked, loving that she was teasing him despite everything.
“Thank you for opening up to me." Quinn said softly. "I didn't understand what had happened between us. It had all felt so good and then it came to a crashing halt. It was so confusing."
“God, lass I'm sorry. I ken I should huv talked to ye, but at the time, I felt almost paralyzed. I thought if ye were gone, I could somehow right myself.” He shook his head still not understanding it himself.
“And did you? Right yourself?” Quinn asked soberingly.
“Naw, I didnae, not in the way I thought I would. For years, I huv kept a wall up and made sure not to let any lass in. I didnae want to put my faith in any woman again. Even my coworkers joked that I was immune to women. It had begun to feel true. I wasnae affected by lasses. I had no interest. Until ye came along.” He eyed her, but she just listened without saying a word. It unnerved him since Quinn was usually so talkative, but he carried on, needing to get it all off his chest. “Ye were right Quinn, about Kate. I always thought she was my past, but the truth was, she was still affecting my life.” He shook his head, realizing the absurdity of it as he spoke the words out loud.
“The past is the past, and I’ve come to peace with mine. But I suppose what she put me through had a lasting effect. I didnae want to be played the fool ever again. I didnae want my life to be in another’s hands. Even though logically I knew no one would ever do to me what she did, I still viewed having a woman in my life as a complication. I refused to let anyone in. I didnae want to feel things again for a woman or to huv any involvement for that matter. My life felt good the way it was. It felt safe, and I was in control of it.”
“And now?” he could hear the uncertainty in her soft voice.
“Now? Now, the only thing I fear is losing ye,” he said matter-of-factly.
Quinn’s eyes widened as she sucked in a breath.
“With ye, Quinn, it is not about feeling things again . It's more like I didnae ken these feelings could exist at all. It's like I've broken free from a prison I'd made for myself. And it's all because of ye."
Her eyes were misty with unshed tears. Alex didn't want to make her cry, but he did want to get it all out. He owed her that. “The time we spent together was,” he stopped to think how to put it into words, “extraordinary. Otherworldly. I dinnae ken the last time I felt so happy and more myself. Ye reminded me who I am, Quinn West.” Now she looked as though she was actively trying to hold back the tears, but Alex wasn't finished yet.
“I acted cowardly on Christmas Day.” His voice was gruff. “And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry fer it.”
“It wasn’t cowardly, Alex.” She took in a shaky breath. “It hurt and in the moment I was angry and confused, but at the same time, I understood. I knew why you put the walls up.” She put her hand in his and for the first time, he felt the hint of relief trickle over him.
“It’s not okay, though. The truth is I didnae want to put up walls with ye. Not ever. What I love most about ye is that I can be myself.” He squeezed her small hand in his.