Chapter Ten
Troy
“Not to say I told you so, but…”
Leave it to Godofdiscord to enjoy my predicament a little too much.
I shoved my phone into my pocket and rocked back on my heels.
I stood outside a junk shop downtown. This place was an eyesore—hated by nearby shop owners—but it had some of the best finds I’d ever seen.
Really unique finds. Where others saw junk and trash, I saw a veritable treasure trove.
Seth might not show, but I was pretty sure he would.
And no matter how much I told myself otherwise, I knew I wanted him to.
Deep down, I wanted to see him. And Godofdiscord and Skye had been right.
I enjoyed going out and being more social.
I’d had fun at the movie premiere. Even if the film wasn’t my taste—pure “so bad it’s good”—it was something to see Seth work a crowd so easily.
He waved and crossed the street to me. His hands were tucked into the front pockets of his jeans. Those jeans probably cost more than my off-the-rack store brand. I wondered if they felt better. I’d never had much money, and I had even less after I went off on my own.
“How are you?” Seth asked. “This place is interesting.”
His hazel eyes darted over the side of the building.
Outside sat three mismatched concrete gargoyles, a rusted iron fence, and a scatter of metal soda signs.
They looked like junk, but I knew the right one could fetch a pretty penny.
I didn’t see any good ones right away, though.
Condition was everything—and these were rusted through, pitted with holes.
They might work for junk assemblage if I decided I needed one, but they definitely wouldn’t bring me a chunk of change.
“Yeah, I like this place. It’s got some cool stuff.”
I tried not to sound too nervous. Was this a date? It sort of felt like one, but I couldn’t really be sure. And besides, I still wasn’t out. So, Seth and I couldn’t really be dating.
But that's how dates worked, right? Two people going out, doing something together?
Seth was oblivious to it all. He grinned and threw open the door to the shop as if it was his personal goal to enter the place as dramatically as he possibly could. I followed behind…with considerably less drama.
The store had a distinctive aroma that I’d never been able to identify.
It was something fruity but fake, the result of handmade air fresheners kept behind the desk near the front door.
To the right, two tables and a massive wardrobe were practically buried beneath piles of old books, a glass display case of knives, a Confederate cavalry saber, and so many knickknacks that you could probably look for three hours and still not see them all.
“So, this is a cool place,” Seth said, his eyes darting about with interest.
“Yeah, I think so.”
Normally, I’d have darted off to look at other stuff but having someone with me changed things in a profound way. I felt as though I had to stay with Seth, even though part of me felt like a clingy girlfriend.
Seth leaned over and examined a massive, silver mirror. Black age spots covered the once pristine surface, casting Seth’s reflection in a dusty, hazy light. “This is nice,” he said.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him that if I bought that mirror, I’d probably break the glass and do something creative with the shards.
But then, I didn’t really spend much time gazing in mirrors.
Seth probably did. There was something about him, maybe his looks, that stirred all sorts of warm feelings in my chest. He looked luminous, like someone who took really good care of himself.
My mind went to the night we’d had sex together, and heat rushed to my face.
I imagined waking up beside him in the mornings, the sunlight caught in his hair and his warm, hazel eyes.
He had a way of gazing at me, too, that I didn’t quite understand.
It was a look of fond, curious enthusiasm.
“Yeah, it’s all right,” I replied.
Seth tilted his head to the side, still observing himself in the mirror. “Boy, do I look good today,” he said, smirking.
I was vaguely irritated that he knew just how attractive he was and was so shameless about admitting it.
But my irritation was tempered by admiration for how damn open he was about everything.
He was so confident, so unashamed of who he was.
Logically, Seth should've seemed arrogant.
But somehow, he delivered all his comments about himself with a wry, self-deprecation.
“You’re okay,” I replied.
Seth chuckled and moved on, gingerly picking his way past furniture, piles of metal signs, and wicker baskets that covered the floor. “So how did you get into this?” he asked, waving vaguely around our surroundings.
“My brother,” I replied.
“Older? Younger?”
An uncomfortable twist gripped my chest, as if the store's temperature had just dropped. I didn’t discuss my brother with anyone, not even my online friends. If I didn’t discuss Lance, I didn’t have to think about him. I didn’t have to remember what happened, and my part in it.
“Older. He…died.”
Seth looked over his shoulder at me, his face soft. “I’m sorry to hear that. Was it recent?”
“High school. I don’t like to talk about it.”
I expected him to pressure me. He had that sort of exuberant personality, the sort to keep pressing and ignore social cues. But he turned his attention instead to a case of glass figurines. “I’m an only child,” he said.
“How is that?”
My thoughts were on my brother, then.
“I guess it’s fine. I never felt as though I was missing something being an only child, but that might be partly because I really liked to have everyone’s attention. I would’ve hated having to share the spotlight.”
I snorted. I could imagine Seth as a kid all too easily. He was probably the sort of hyper, bouncing-off-the-wall type who made teachers want to pull their hair out. And he’d probably been a terrible teenager.
“You grew up okay,” I said.
That was a bizarre comment.
Seth grinned. “I think so, but I guess I do kind of miss it. I think I like the idea of having siblings. That familial bond, you know?”
I nodded. But really, having siblings wasn’t all that great.
I loved Skye, of course. She was my dear sister.
But she also seemed to think that I couldn’t do anything myself.
Logically, I knew that she just cared about me and wanted to help, but sometimes, I really could’ve done with her toning back the helpfulness.
It felt partly like a pity thing. She hadn’t cared so much before Lance died.
God, I sound ungrateful.
“Sometimes, it’s nice,” I said, trying for a neutral answer.
I hadn’t planned on being so forthcoming, even though I’d agreed to this outing. But there was just something about Seth, maybe his enthusiasm, that made him easy to talk to.
“Who got you into bikes?” I asked, hoping to change the subject.
Seth hummed and shrugged. “I don’t really know, actually. It seems like I’ve liked them for as long as I can remember.”
A large curl of rusted metal, embedded with blue polished pebbles poked out from behind a scuffed-up desk. I paused and crouched before it. From the corner of my eye, I saw Seth pause, too. Even without looking, I felt his gaze—and the thought of him focused on me sent a warm rush up my spine.
“Are you thinking of using that for something?” he asked.
“Possibly.”
I trailed a finger over the curve of metal, chipping off flecks of rust with my nail.
“It’s hard to explain,” I said, “But there’s something about taking old, unwanted things and making them into something, well…wanted that just appeals to me. I like to see progress. Trash to treasure. And when I’m doing my junk assemblage, it’s like there’s nothing else in the world.”
“That sounds deep. Profound, even. Now, I’m embarrassed that I only like acting because it gives me the opportunity to be someone else. It’s fun.”
“It’s nothing deeper for you?” I asked.
When I glanced at Seth, he shrugged and smiled disarmingly. “I don’t think so,” he said, “And I know that sounds shallow, that my art doesn’t have some deep meaning. I just do it for fun, to fill my time.”
What a luxury, to have time that needed filling.
I felt like I always had too much to do, like I was stuck in a perpetual state of being overworked.
Or like there wasn’t enough time. But it was difficult to begrudge Seth for it.
I’d seen his performance in Brandon’s film, and even if Seth’s acting didn’t have depth of any consequence, it was clear he enjoyed it.
I straightened, looking at the piece of metal from a different angle. “So how come you never went to Hollywood?” I asked. “Or…you know…something major. Did you try?”
That sounded really jerk-ish in hindsight. I had no idea if Seth had gone to Hollywood and been a huge failure or something. I might've just poured salt into a wound with that clumsy attempt at conversation.
“No,” he replied. “I just really prefer to do indie material. I never really had an interest in being famous. Come to think of it, I’m just not that ambitious.
But that’s the luxury of being rich, I suppose.
You don’t have to worry about things like getting ahead or earning money.
Everything is already good. So, you fill your time with stuff and things to do. ”
He realized he had advantages, being rich. I realized it with a start and a strange sort of glee. Seth wasn’t really the empty-headed, selfish rich guy I’d thought he would be. He was…nice. Aware. I’d been wrong about him.
“Are you going to get it?” Seth asked, nodding to the piece of metal before us.
Once upon a time, it might’ve been some yard decoration.
I considered it again, trying to figure out where it would go in my present project, but the image didn’t come together.
“I don’t think so,” I said slowly. “As weird as this sounds, I have a sort of instinct about these things. I don’t think this is the piece I’m looking for. ”
“Ah, these aren’t the pieces you’re looking for,” Seth echoed, waving his hand.
I smirked. “Thank you, Obi Wan.”
“Movies are my thing.”
I knew they were. I’d seen his giant-ass TV.
It ate an entire wall. Never before had I really cared all that much about the size of a TV, but I had to admit that Seth’s was damn impressive.
I’d have liked to have one, but unless someone walked into a pawn shop with one of those for cheap, really cheap, I sure wasn’t going to get one.
I’d just have to make do watching videos on my laptop.
That’s if the Wi-Fi worked. For some bizarre reason, the apartment Wi-Fi___33 went down at five-thirty every single day, and most of the time, it didn’t come back up until twelve the next morning.
“It’s not a huge bragging point to be able to make a Star Wars joke,” I pointed out. “From you, I expected something better.”
We walked on.
“Pick any pulp horror film since the dawn of cinema,” Seth said, grinning. “Even the really stupid ones.”
“What do you mean by stupid?”
He shrugged. “I only mean that you haven’t lived until you’ve seen the porno version of Nightmare on Elm Street. It’s a trip. A gore-filled trip.”
I snorted and shook my head. “You really watch that crap?”
He nodded. “Of course. It’s my one true love in this mortal coil.”
At the mention of love, my heart gave out an embarrassing flutter. What would it be like to be with Seth? To be out of the closet and together with him?
Probably pretty damn great.
“Well,” I said at last, “I’d tell you that you need to get out more and really work on your love life, but I feel like that would be like arguing with a tree stump.”
Seth grinned victoriously. “Exactly like that.”
How was it that everything Seth said just oozed charm? I couldn’t be charming if I tried, but it seemed to be his default. He really was something else.