Chapter 17
“OVERWHELMED” ROYAL & THE SERPENT
“ R yder,” I breathe.
Relief floods me, even though I shouldn’t be this happy to see him. It’s not like my brother will protect me. He’s made it clear I mean nothing to him. He can’t stand me.
I expect him to let go of me and walk away like he always does. He’ll put me back in the role of a ghost, and he’ll leave me here with whatever Justin has planned for me.
Ryder’s dark eyebrows furrow as his gaze flicks over my face, taking in my horrified state. I’m still in fight-or-flight mode. The cold weather dried my tears, but I’m sure my makeup left behind stains.
“Madison!” Justin yells.
Ryder’s attention snaps past my head. Shadows creep over his features, and his lips curl in a snarl.
He takes my hand and drags me to his motorcycle.
The difference in his touch compared to Justin’s is worlds apart.
While Justin is rough and punishing, Ryder handles me with more care, though his grip is firm as he gets me to safety.
I’m okay. He’ll keep me safe. I hold back the sob swelling in my chest.
Ryder stops at his parked motorcycle and hands his helmet to me. “Put this on.”
I pull the safety gear over my head, but I’m in such a panic that I struggle to fasten the straps beneath my chin. Ryder’s hands replace mine. He works fast, then helps me onto the seat behind him. I start as the engine growls to life.
“Madison!” Justin sprints toward us, only ten feet away. My stomach sinks at the fury on his face. “We’re not done. Get back here!”
I yelp and clamp my arms around Ryder as we take off.
The shops whiz past in a blur. They meld into a mosaic of bright colors and Halloween decorations.
I peek over my shoulder, certain Justin will be right behind us.
He can’t run as fast as a motorcycle, but in my panic-stricken state, I can’t think clearly.
He’s nothing but a speck down the road. I turn forward and squeeze Ryder so I don’t fall off the speeding bike.
We blast past cars as he splits lanes, making it look easier than it really is.
Ryder yells and leans into a sharp left while keeping us balanced so we don’t topple over and slide across the pavement.
I tense and look to my right as a car slams on its brakes to avoid colliding with us.
They honk their horn, and I barely catch them flipping us off before Ryder speeds out of traffic.
Panic turns my lungs into lead as I raise my gaze to the back of Ryder’s head.
He’s not wearing a helmet. Because, of course he isn’t.
He handed his to me, and I was too frazzled to ask about his own safety gear.
We could crash at any point, and he’d get seriously injured.
Considering how fast we’re going, he could even die.
He leans forward as we fly past cars honking at us. Ryder doesn’t seem bothered by their noise. In fact, he flips the drivers off behind us and increases the speed.
My mind screams that we’re going to crash any second, though I can barely hear my thoughts over the loud engine. The earlier panic attack resurfaces, and I’m left choking for air as I clutch my unbothered stepbrother like he’s a lifeline.
Traffic thins to a trickle, and we race down a back road leading to the hiking trails. Ryder doesn’t slow down, even though no one trails us. Justin is back in town, and there’s no way he’d know where we’re going.
Ryder slows the motorcycle as we pull into the park outside of the walking trail. I cling to him, even when he stops and uses his boot to put the kickstand down.
Can he feel my racing heart against his back? Does he notice how my hands tremble as I clutch the front of his hoodie?
He switches off the engine and straightens from his bent position. My arms squeeze tighter around him, and I tense as his large hand covers my smaller one. I squeeze my eyes shut as he turns his head to look at me.
Ryder untangles himself from me as he dismounts from the seat. He notices that I’m caught in the clutches of a panic attack, so he inches toward me, his hand stretched out.
“Need help?” He keeps his voice low.
I barely manage a nod.
Ryder’s fingers circle my arm and my other wrist as he gently guides me off the bike. He holds me steady on my shaky legs as my feet touch the gravel. A whimper slips out of me as the world wobbles and I lose my balance.
“Easy,” he murmurs as he catches me before I fall.
He tucks me against him, with my breasts smashed against his chest. A muscle thrums in the corner of his jaw, but he keeps the expressionless mask in place.
His arm winds around my waist, his palm flat on my lower back.
His free hand grips my throat beneath the helmet—a placement that should concern me, but if I’m being honest with myself, it brings more relief than fear.
It’s as if I’m handing over my power and allowing him to take care of me.
Ryder works the straps undone and eases the helmet off my head. He carelessly tosses the gear to the ground while keeping his focus on my face. I suck in fresh air and snake my arms around his neck to stay upright.
I can’t breathe. I’m going to die.
Fuck, I’m going to die right in front of my brother.
Ryder hooks his arm around my waist, palm on my lower back and his other hand taking its place around my throat. He cocks his head as he watches me.
“Breathe with me.” He sucks in a breath through his nose.
I follow his instructions, but my lungs can barely hold the oxygen. Then the air rushes out through my mouth as he does the same.
“Good girl,” he coos, then repeats the same breathing technique. “You’re safe. No one will hurt you. I’ve got you, doll.”
I follow along until I’m able to fill my lungs without feeling like I’m about to puke. He whispers words of encouragement while I focus on breathing. I’m safe. Justin can’t hurt me. Ryder and I didn’t get hurt on our way here.
No one is dead.
We’re safe.
He’ll keep me safe.
My mind shifts its focus to Ryder. My breasts still press against his chest, and our hips lock together, leaving no room for anything other than unspoken words to slip between us. His hand remains on my throat. Can he feel my fluttering pulse?
“Eyes on me.” His fingers flex around my throat, a warning to do as he says.
I didn’t realize I’d closed my eyes until he said something. My lids pop open, and I train my gaze on his face.
Ryder’s thumb strokes my neck, sending tingles straight between my legs. Our warm breaths mingle, and I take in his heady scent. Amber and cypress fill my lungs, my head now dizzy for an entirely different reason as the panic subsides.
“We could have died.” A sob bubbles out of me, and tears spring to my eyes.
Ryder’s blank expression cracks, revealing a softer emotion I saw once when we were kids and I cleaned his bloody nose. “We didn’t, though.”
“We could have!”
Maybe I’m being a little dramatic, but there is no rationality left in my bones after a panic attack that severe.
My brain still clings to the potential of death.
Or worse. Any second now, Ryder could let go of me, scoff, and tell me to stop being a baby.
He could revert to treating me like a ghost.
I don’t know which outcome is worse.
Ryder releases my throat and slips his hand behind my head to hold me in place as he leans down until our noses touch. I suck in a breath as our lips brush, but he makes no move to kiss me fully.
“I’ve been riding since I was sixteen. There’ve been a lot of close calls in that time.
What happened back there wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.
” His fingers thread through my hair and tighten in a firm grip.
“You had the helmet on, doll. If something happened to someone, it would have happened to me.”
I swallow around the lump in my throat. Another sob works its way up my chest and bubbles out of my mouth. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“It should.” He offers a smile, but something’s off in his gaze. He’s not upset about our near-death experience. If anything, he welcomes it.
I fist his hair and tug, desperate for him to understand how those thoughts scare me. I don’t want anything to happen to him, no matter how much he hates me. No matter how much he treats me like I’m shit beneath his shoe. I don’t want Ryder to get hurt. Ever .
Ryder’s pupils expand, and he inhales a sharp breath as he pulls me closer to him.
With our hips flush together, I’m forced to feel the growing hardness within his pants.
After what happened with Justin, my body shouldn’t respond this way right now.
Butterflies fill my stomach, and my nipples harden into sensitive peaks.
“Well, it doesn’t make me feel better,” I say with conviction. Hoping he can hear the desperation in my voice. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”
His eyes widen in shock, then he locks it away as fast as it came. The same frustrating blank expression takes its place as he shuts me out.
No.
No.
No.
I don’t want him to hide from me. I don’t want the icy demeanor he uses so often.
Ryder drops his hands and steps away from me. With every inch of space he puts between us, the weight on my shoulders becomes heavier. He’s slipping through my fingers, and I don’t want to lose him. Not just physically, but emotionally.
“Ryder,” I croak.
He backs away. “What happened back there, Madison?”
Even his voice has gone cold. Detached. Lacking humanity.
I swallow hard and force myself to stay put when I want to rush into his arms, where everything feels so right. “Justin . . .” The next words die on my tongue as the lump in my throat makes a reappearance. I shake my head and avert my gaze. “It was a misunderstanding.”
Ryder’s blank expression doesn’t crack as he says, “A misunderstanding.”