Chapter 30
“MILLION DOLLAR BABY” TOMMY RICHMAN
A fter Dahlia finishes eating, we leave the food court and walk through the mall. Time passes quickly as we shop. After visiting a few stores, I realize I’ll have to purchase the items I need online. I only hope I can get them before the Halloween party.
I peek at Dahlia for the hundredth time. She’s holding hands with Jaxon, who refuses to leave her side.
It’s sweet how perfect they are for each other.
The more I watch them, the more I notice how Jaxon will do anything to make Dahlia happy, whether it’s holding her shopping bags, buying things she looks at for longer than fifteen seconds, or giving her a heart-wrenching smile when she shows him something that’s piqued her interest.
I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have a love like that.
Justin wouldn’t do anything sweet like Jaxon does for Dahlia. My fiancé would sneer at anything I showed him. He’d walk ahead of me and tell me to hurry up. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even want me around my friends. He’s the type who’ll shut me away from the world so he can control my every move.
My thoughts slip to Ryder and how he would treat me.
Butterflies fill my stomach.
Ryder would likely be my shadow. His hand would slip onto my waist as he leaned over to look at whatever I held. He’d probably murmur something dirty in my ear or compliment me. If we were alone together, he’d hold my hand. At least, that’s what I would hope for, anyway.
Or he’d be like how he’s always been: distant and cold. He’d shrug and tell me to move it along so we could leave.
I frown at how fast my thoughts turned for the worst.
“You look upset.”
I jump and slap my hand over my chest, directly over my racing heart. Dahlia offers me an apologetic smile and briefly touches my arm to apologize for spooking me.
I force a smile and shake my head. “I’m fine.”
She glances at my friends, who huddle at a clothing rack as they search for the next thing they’d like to buy. Jaxon stands off to the side, acting as Dahlia’s own personal guard dog while giving her space to interact with me.
“The classic response when you really aren’t fine,” Dahlia says with a soft laugh. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”
“Wait.” I snag her wrist as she pulls away from me. Dahlia’s lips part in surprise, but she doesn’t move.
My face tingles from the weight of Jaxon’s glare, but I refuse to look away from Dahlia. He doesn’t move from his spot, arms crossed over his chest. At least he isn’t automatically going on the defense.
“Are you . . .” I nervously lick my lip.
Dahlia leans into me, eager to know what I’m too afraid to ask.
I take a fortifying breath and drop my arm to my side. Fuck it. “Were you scared of your feelings for Jaxon? What with him being your brother and all that?”
Dahlia averts her gaze.
“Sorry!” I wave my hands in front of me, my cheeks burning with a blush. “I didn’t mean to pry.”
“You really want to know?” she asks so softly that I have to lean in to hear her.
I nod and drop my hands.
Dahlia glances at Jaxon, finding the courage to talk about something so private between them, before she turns back to me.
“Yeah, at first I was scared. People in this town are pretty terrible and will find any reason to bully me. It was hard to resist him in the beginning. It’s socially unacceptable to have feelings for your brother, but being without him was breaking me apart.
Jaxon didn’t care what anyone thought and, through that, I found the courage to stop caring.
In the end, it’s me and him against the world.
It’s always been that way, so why fight it? ”
What she went through—feelings wise—is similar to what I’m going through.
It’s wrong to be with my stepbrother, and our family will tear us apart if they ever find out.
Not only that, but I’ve been walking on eggshells, scared my dad will somehow know I cheated on Justin.
I’m supposed to be loyal to him , but I would rather gouge my eyeballs out of my head.
Sensing the dark path of my thoughts, Dahlia offers a smile. “Who cares what people think? They’ll talk no matter what you do, what you say, what you wear, and who you love. You can’t always please everyone, so you may as well live for yourself and do what makes you happy.”
A cold sweat breaks out over my suddenly overheated skin. Are my feelings for Ryder that obvious to Dahlia?
Jaxon moves in and kisses the top of Dahlia’s head. “My wise little flower.”
I force a smile, even though I want to puke because of how nervous I am about my secret being discovered. “Thank you. You two really deserve each other.”
Dahlia beams a bright smile, then lunges at me with a bear hug. “Thank you for being nice to me.”
Jaxon’s eyes soften for once as he looks at me. I know it’s not directed toward me, but somehow, with Dahlia’s acceptance of me, he doesn’t look seconds away from beating me up.
The world really did this girl a disservice, and I swear I’ll never be party to hurting her.
We leave the store empty-handed, and I follow Olivia and Nova as they lead the way to the escalators for the second floor.
A large body leans against the banister, tattooed hands folded together.
I peer in his direction as the automatic stairs carry me and my friends to the second floor. My breath catches in my throat.
Ryder stares back at me, his expression blank, but his eyes darkened with unrestrained desire.
He’s wearing his usual black clothes, paired this time with red-and-black Vans.
His black hoodie with a red star design etched into the chest hugs his broad chest and shoulders.
The black parachute pants with countless straps hanging from the large red pockets hug his lean waist and fall into a straight line.
His pants stop at his calves, tied off to give them the parachute effect, and he’s wearing high black socks to cover his tanned skin.
Once I get to the top, I debate walking toward him. I demanded he ignore me as usual so no one would catch on to us, but all I want is to throw myself into his arms.
“Oh, look!” Olivia gasps. “Ryder’s here.”
With his hand on her lower back, Jaxon leads Dahlia toward my stepbrother. Olivia and Nova follow them, and I force my legs to move, lingering further back so I can keep the attention off of me.
“Didn’t know you liked going to the mall,” Jaxon says in greeting to Ryder.
Ryder blinks and shifts his attention to his best friend. He shrugs and sticks his hands into his hoodie’s front pocket. “I like to watch people.”
Ryder peeks at me, and I catch the subtle uptick of his lips before the smile disappears.
Butterflies fill my stomach, and I pull my phone out of my purse and scroll through social media to appear busy and not at all interested in my stepbrother.
“Wanna join us?” Nova asks.
“Sure,” Ryder says.
“Oh!” Olivia taps Nova’s arm. “We should check out Lucky’s for their plus-sized clothes.”
Nova grins. “I’ve been meaning to go there for...”
Her words fade as I part from the group and glance around. No way am I going into Lucky’s with Ryder. It’s a great store where I get a lot of my lingerie for content, but if Ryder watches me pick out my next outfit with those bedroom eyes, I’ll combust into flames.
“I’ll catch up with you guys,” I say as I walk backward. The group turns to me, but it’s Ryder’s gaze I’m hyper-aware of. “I want to check out a different store real quick.”
Olivia inches toward me. “You want me to come along?”
“You go ahead. I won’t be long.” I shake my head and offer her a smile, hoping it’s enough to dissuade her. I don’t even know where I’m going, but if she comes with me, then everyone else will come with me and it’ll all be for naught.
Olivia’s eyebrows draw inward, and she stares at me with an unreadable expression. The longer she looks at me, the more it feels like she’s peeling back all of my layers and finding the real reason why I’m acting so weird.
“Okay, are you sure?” Nova says.
“Yeah. Go on without me.”
Olivia and Nova are the first to turn and leave. Jaxon and Dahlia stare at me. The former’s expression is slack—similar to Ryder’s—but I can see the gears turning in his mind. Dahlia glances at Ryder, then at me. She hides a smile by biting her bottom lip, then tugs Jaxon’s hand as she walks away.
That leaves Ryder, and he doesn’t move a muscle as he watches me. His eyes lower as he looks me over. The dull, dead appearance of his gaze cracks until it reveals a burning inferno of hunger. And it’s all for me .
I duck my head and turn around, then put distance between us. The whole time, my body hums beneath the weight of Ryder’s stare. He’s still watching. I don’t have to turn around to know that.
My legs move on their own, and I eventually end up inside a Spencer’s of all places—low lighting, loud music, and crammed with racks full of T-shirts decorated in vulgar sayings.
Not that I’m complaining. I happen to own a T-shirt from here that says Cum Dumpster, which is ironic, considering I let Ryder come inside me.
I glance around the store, working my way to the sex toys in the back.
A small rack of monster dildos stands nearby.
One of them takes inspiration from a demon, another from a tentacle monster.
I eye them and nibble my bottom lip. If I get one of them and use it in a video, it’ll bring in more money.
Which means I can get out of town quicker.
Do I really want to move? Now that I got a taste of what it’s like being with Ryder?
I shake away the thought.
Dad won’t allow us to be together, and he’ll still force me to marry Justin. I’ll be in a loveless marriage, pining after a man I can’t have.
Large hands grip my waist, and a chest presses against my back. I squeak and jump, but the person behind me holds me still with a low chuckle. “You should get it. I’ll pay.”