Chapter 14
Tessa
“What are you reading?” I ask Weston. He’s sitting on the deck of Zane’s boat, a good two yards from me, and has been silent since I woke up this morning and found him here instead of Zane.
The disappointment I’d felt when I realized he wasn’t here is something I’m trying really hard not to think about. I step out of the cabin and limp up onto the deck. The waters are calm today, the sky clear.
But I can still feel the icy depths surrounding me when I fell.
He doesn’t respond.
“You know, you didn’t like me when we first met, either. Then we became friends.”
He glares at me over the book. “I’m reading.”
“Are you, though? Seems like you’re talking to me.” I woke up with a bit more fire than I’ve had in—well—as long as I can remember. Could be that I slept better than I ever have and woke up feeling rested despite the pain in my leg and the ache in my heart.
Weston growls and shifts his attention back to the book.
“Look, I didn’t purposely set out to hurt him. I was trying to protect him.”
“Yet, you did hurt him.”
“Things were out of my control.”
“Did you leave of your own volition?”
“Has Zane not told you why I left?”
Weston slams his book closed. “Believe it or not, Princess, we don’t sit around gabbing about you all day.” He opens the book and turns the page, even though I’d bet every cent I have that he didn’t read a single printed word.
“No? That’s surprising. You’ve always been so chatty.”
The ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips, but it dies quickly.
“There were at least three other ways you could have handled what happened that night, yet you chose a coward’s way out.
Any respect I had for you died when you left my friend heartbroken and standing at the end of an aisle you were never planning to walk down. ”
So he did finally tell him.
His words bloom a familiar ache in my chest. “I didn’t want him to throw his life away.”
Weston glances up at me. “That was his decision to make. Not yours.”
“What would you have done? Would you have let him throw his future away? His dreams of becoming a doctor?” I’m not sure why it matters so much to me that Weston understands.
Whether it’s because I miss the days when he didn’t hate me or because things are awkward right now, I need him to understand.
To know that I didn’t mean to hurt anyone.
“No, because I would have handled it before he could.”
The simple way those words are spoken does not match the underlying threat. Weston always stood beside Zane. Even though I know he’s also felt like he would never match up to Zane, given their different backgrounds. It’s something he and I always had in common.
But would he really have sacrificed his own future to keep his friend safe?
“I’m sorry, Weston. I really did think I was doing what was best.”
“Well, you were pretty far off.” He glances off into the distance, then closes his book. “Get in the cabin.”
“Why?”
“Someone I don’t recognize is headed this way.”
I don’t wait for him to elaborate, just get up and limp my way into the cabin.
“You look lost,” Weston calls out.
“I’m looking for Nina’s Bait Shop?” A man laughs. “I was told to check it out, and I’m afraid I didn’t listen to the directions very well.”
“Back toward the entrance,” Weston replies, pointing to the left. “Hers is the first boat you pass. There’s a faded sign in front of it. Pretty impossible to miss.”
“Great, thanks so much. I think I’m just so in awe of how gorgeous everything out here is. I didn’t remember.”
“Yeah. Well. Pay better attention next time.”
The man laughs. “You’re not wrong there. Have a great day.”
Even as the man’s bootsteps fade in the distance, Weston keeps his attention straight ahead.
“Is everything okay?” I ask after a few minutes have passed.
“He went inside Nina’s,” Weston replies, then returns his attention to his book. Minutes tick by as I remain inside the cabin, staring out the window toward the ocean.
I’d always loved being out here on the boat. Zane and I spent nearly all of our free time out here. Even if we remained in the marina, I’d pretend we were sailing far away from this place and all the darkness that waited for me whenever I went home.
“Hey there, Cap, good outing?”
My heart jumps when Zane comes into view. He shakes Weston’s hand. “Yeah. Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
Zane turns to me, and our gazes hold. I can still feel his arms around me. The warmth of his body battling the cold in mine.
“I’ll check in later. Have some ranch errands to take care of.”
“Great. See you then.”
Weston offers me a nod, which is technically progress when I compare it to the cold shoulder he offered me the last time he left, so I raise my hand in a slight wave, and he steps off the boat.
Zane comes inside and sets a bag down. “I need to run to my mom’s and help her with some stuff. I’d like you to come with me.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“I think it’s a great idea. You can’t be happy sitting on this boat constantly.”
“Weston made me get back inside because some guy was coming toward the boat, looking for Nina’s. Do you really think I should—”
“Someone asked for Nina’s Bait Shop?”
I nod.
“What did he look like?”
“I don’t know; I was inside. Weston said he went inside, though.”
Zane relaxes slightly.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“Probably nothing. He was inside Anastasia’s place and was asking about where to rent a boat. I pointed him to Nina’s. If it was the same guy, at least.”
“That’s good then, right? He was looking for Nina’s and just walked past it.”
“Yeah. Maybe.” He keeps his attention focused there for a moment, then shifts it back to me and claps his hands. “Come on, let’s get you out of here. She’s making dinner, and I have some work I need to do over there.”
“Zane—”
“Tessa. I will be with you the whole time.” His tone is firm but understanding. “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.”
It’s not me I’m worried about.
Then there’s the fact that I’m already getting too used to having him around. I can’t afford to become so reliant on the warmth he offers that I forget how to handle the cold. “Okay. If you think it’ll be fine.”
“I do.” He reaches up on top of his refrigerator and pulls down a blue baseball cap. After tucking it low on my head, he grins in such a way that makes my heart flip in my chest. “Perfect. I barely recognize you.”
I roll my eyes, but don’t take it off. It’s a running joke between us after we bonded over the whole superhero thing where people hide their eyes behind a pair of glasses.
Who would have thought I’d be trying to shield my identity one day?
Turning toward the door, I look for my shoes.
And then remember what happened last night. “Um, I don’t have any shoes.”
“Sure you do,” He raises one of the bags he’d carried in and pulls out a shoebox. He opens the lid and reaches inside to pull out a pair of boat shoes with pink plaid on the side.
“You bought me shoes?”
“I did.”
“Why?”
“Because yours fell in the ocean last night.” There’s no frustration in his tone, no anger. Just a simply stated fact that hits me like a bolt of lightning to my heart. I don’t know why I’m surprised. Zane has always been thoughtful, but it catches me off guard.
“Why are you doing this? Why are you being so kind to me?” I rip the baseball cap off my head and set it aside. “You could have drowned last night.”
“Out of the two of us, I was not the one at risk,” he replies smoothly. Zane takes a step closer, his expression full of emotion I don’t trust myself to see. Because if I fall again, I don’t think I’ll ever stop. “Navy SEAL, remember? And I’m doing this because I want to.”
“Why? I left you, Zane. And since I’ve been back, you’ve been shot and had to retrieve me from the ocean in the middle of a storm. You’ve given up your bed, your space, your time—I just don’t get why.” My throat constricts.
“I already told you, Tessa.” He takes another step closer, those gorgeous green eyes piercing straight through to my soul. “Because I want to keep you safe. Because I want you to see what I always have.”
“This is a mistake. All of it is a mistake.” My throat burns with raw emotion and the weight of this moment. Of his declaration.
Zane’s hand cups my cheek, his calloused palm scraping delicately against my skin.
I freeze beneath the contact, terrified that, if I move, if I breathe, he’ll pull away.
“Tessa Lane, I made you a promise. That I am going to make you see just what you’re worth.
I’m helping you because I want to,” he repeats.
“Because even if I can’t keep you when this is all over, having you here is soothing an ache that nothing has touched since the day you disappeared. ”
His thumb caresses my cheek, and I close my eyes as a tear slips free. His touch feels so right. It’s the absolute last thing I deserve, but I never want him to stop. Even though I know without a doubt that this is going to end badly.
Even if whoever is after me doesn’t succeed, leaving this man is going to kill me.
“More coffee, honey?” Linda asks as she comes back toward the table and retrieves our empty mugs.
“No, thank you. I’m okay.” Sitting here at the small four-seater table in her tiny kitchen is the most at home I’ve felt in a long time. It’s a different house, but there are so many similarities in the décor that it’s like stepping back into a happy memory.
The lemon curtains she had in the house Zane grew up in are over the main kitchen window, the large cross Zane made for her in woodshop is hanging on the wall beside the table, and a vase Anastasia made for her in art class is overflowing with wildflowers on the counter.
There are pictures everywhere. The walls are covered in happy moments frozen in time.
It was one of the first things I noticed when I went over to his house for dinner that first time.
In my house, the only things that made it up on the walls were holes from fists and inappropriate posters my dad hung for his own enjoyment.
Walking into the Knox home had been my first look at what a family truly could be. Even as they were still reeling over the death of Zane and Anastasia’s father.
Linda hums as she chops potatoes. I remember how kind she was that night, too. How welcoming. Linda Knox is the strongest woman I’ve ever met, and I aspired to be half the wife and mother she is.
And then I failed before I even had a chance to be either. Get out of this pity party, Tessa. It is what it is. I clear my throat.
“Can I help?” It’s been a long time since I cooked, but I used to love cooking with her. She taught me everything I do know.
“I would love that.” Linda beams at me over her shoulder. “Do you remember how I slice the Brussels sprouts?”
“I do.” With a smile, I get up and limp over toward the counter. My leg is doing better this afternoon, though the soreness from last night’s unplanned swim definitely makes movement harder than I would like.
“Honey, sit. I can bring them to you.”
“No, please. I’ve been sitting a lot the last couple of days, and it’s starting to drive me crazy.”
Linda chuckles. “Fair enough.”
The Brussels sprouts are in a colander beside a cutting board, so I take them out one by one and remove the loose leaves around the outside. Then, after cutting an X in the stem, I slice it in half and lay them on the prepared baking sheet beside me.
It feels so good.
“How long have you lived here?”
“Seven years,” she replies. “The tenant I had next door moved out and left the place a mess, so Zane’s been helping me fix it up.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
She shrugs. “It happens. They were friendly enough, but the husband was a mechanic, and he worked on engines in the living room.”
“Are you serious?”
She laughs. “I am. And he didn’t put anything down first. The carpet was destroyed.”
“Did they at least pay for that?”
“I kept the deposit, but it wasn’t enough to cover the damage. It’s okay, though; my sweet boy has been helping.” She beams, so proud of her son. And why wouldn’t she be? Zane is the best man I’ve ever known.
“That’s great that he’s helping you.”
“He always does.”
Silence wraps around us as she continues chopping potatoes and putting them in a pot of water heating on the stove.
“I’m sorry that I left the hospital the way I did. I—uh—I wasn’t sure how to face you after what I did to Zane.”
Linda sets her knife down and turns to face me, so I do the same. She reaches out and grips both of my arms. “You don’t need to apologize to me.”
“Did he tell you? Why I left?”
She nods. “He did. But I didn’t want to bring it up unless you wanted to talk about it.”
“I didn’t want to risk what he’d do when he found out.”
Linda smiles, tears filling her eyes. “As his mother, I can appreciate the sacrifice you made. But as a woman who loves you like a daughter, I wish you would have come to us so we could’ve helped you.
I like to believe Zane had a steady enough head on his shoulders he wouldn’t have run off without a thought to the consequences. ”
Loves. Not loved. Loves. The dam I’ve used to hold back my emotions since I walked into this place shatters, and tears fill my eyes.
“Oh, come here, sweetie.” Linda pulls me in and wraps her arms around me. I hug her back, the embrace more than I’ve had in years. “You’re safe now. No one will hurt you again, okay?”
I wish that were true.
Because I sense that my greatest heartbreak is still on the horizon.