39. Wren
Somehow, I found a place where I belong, as crazy as that sounds.
Julian continues inviting me to practice fencing with him, and I’ve been tempted to decline to study, but… well, I just don’t want to.
I enjoy spending time with Julian; it’s easy in a way that I’ve never experienced before, and I may or may not be a pretty good fencer, thanks to Jordan.
Maybe that’s why I found myself trying more when we practiced and letting myself enjoy it.
It was fun for the sake of it, not for a medal or a scholarship.
Gavin backed off a bit, too. He wasn’t ever nice exactly, but he was no longer going out of his way to be an asshole, which is all I ever really needed.
Of course, the universe can’t let me be too happy, though, and balance came in the form of Rose.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ve dealt with bullies before, but before Jordan was here. He was a buffer of sorts, and usually it was more just snide remarks about my brains or my ‘attitude.’
I’ve never dealt with a mean girl who was just mad I existed.
She hasn’t said or done much when anyone else was around, but I’ve gotten a few shoulder checks, snarky comments, and been tripped a few times.
Very childish, but annoying nonetheless.
She’s also been stuck to Gavin’s ass like an octopus, and while he doesn’t seem to mind, I’m reminded that just because he’s no longer being an ass, that doesn’t mean he’s a friend.
“You need to tell Julian,” Dimitri says after class, on one of the rare times Julian isn’t here to pick me up.
Unfortunately, today Rose had ramped up her attacks and gone so far as to knock everything off my desk on her way to her seat. She swore it was an accident, blaming an untied shoe that she was more than happy to bend over and tie right in front of Dimitri’s desk.
Nobody else noticed or cared, but I’d seen the way the storm brewed on Dimitri’s face. It looked like it took everything in him to keep his professor mask on, and it went out the window the second we were alone.
“No. I can handle Rose. She’s just looking for a reaction, and I won’t give her one. She’ll get bored, eventually.” I hope.
“Wren,”
“Dimitri.” I feel his gaze on me as I pack up the last of my stuff. When I finally look up, I’m met with his glare.
I glare back, unwilling to give up on this. I don’t need them fighting my battles. Plus, if I don’t engage, there isn’t a battle to be had.
After a moment, he sighs, his shoulders sagging as he reaches up to massage the bridge of his nose.
“Do you want me to do something?”
“No!” I shout, louder than I intended. “Sorry, I just know that won’t help. The last thing I need is my professor stepping in. Then I look like I went crying to you.”
The way his lips pinch lets me know he gets it but doesn’t like it, and well, that’s fine.
“I’ve got it under control,” I tell him, hoping to reassure him, though it doesn’t seem to have any effect as he continues to worry.
I sling my bag over my shoulder and head toward the door, making it about halfway before he seems to shake himself and realize I’ve gone.
“No Julian today?” he asks, and I stop when I see the actual concern on his face.
“No, he had to meet with his coach about something he’s doing for the showcase.”
His brows pull together, and he fishes his phone from his pocket, which is weird; he’s hardly ever on his phone, at least not with me.
Not wanting to take up any more of his time or seem suspicious, I head for the door again. It’s been a minute since I went to the library and just had time to study. It’s just been one thing after another, and while I love it, I also can’t help but miss Felix.
“Ugh, Wren, wait.” I turn to find him once again following me, his hand outstretched as if he’s going to reach for me before he seems to think better of it and lets it drop.
“What’s u—” Pain erupts in my head, and I groan, rubbing at my temple.
“Are you okay?” I hear the concern in his voice even without opening my eyes, and I mentally scold myself for reacting like this in front of him.
It’s just a headache, and now I’ve made him worry.
“I’m fine, just a headache.” I wave him away, even though I know it won’t do a thing.
I feel his hand, warm and familiar, as he cups my cheek, forcing my head up. When I manage to peel my eyes open, I find so much emotion staring back at me that it steals the air from my lungs.
I want nothing more than to move into his arms, but this isn’t the time or the place.
He said he would quit his job for me, but I don’t want that. I don’t want our being together to be a punishment.
So I do what I know I should and take a step back. He lets his hand drop, and I see the flash of hurt that plays across his face a moment before he masks it.
Even if this is the right thing, it somehow doesn’t make it easier.
“We can’t.” I plead with him to understand that it’s got nothing to do with him.
He tucks his hand into his pocket and clears his throat with a nod as if to himself before he nods toward the door.
“Why don’t you come to my office, and I can get some medicine for you?” Now he’s the one pleading, not with his words but with his eyes.
“Dimitri!” His name has never sounded so bad as it does from Rose’s whiny ass mouth, and I feel my lips pull down in a frown.
“Mr. Adler,” he corrects her, but it doesn’t do a thing as she all but skips across the room toward him, but not without shoulder-checking me as she goes.
“Oh, sorry, Ken, I didn’t see you there,” she says in a sickly sweet, super-fake voice that, again, is like nails on a chalkboard.
I guess she must always sound like that; it’s fitting, really, given her personality is also shit.
“Rose.” She beams at him despite his look of annoyance, and I roll my eyes.
Any attention is good for her, I guess.
“You weren’t in your room, and it’s time for our adviser meeting, so I just had to come find you.
I look forward to our meetings every week.
They're the only thing getting me through the days.” She leans on his arm, and he side-steps quickly enough that she almost tumbles to the ground, but she doesn’t give up, instead reaching for his arm as she squishes her cleavage together and bats her eyes.
Gag.
It’s obvious what she’s hoping to imply, but I know Dimitri pretty well now. And at no point in the last three months did he give me any inkling that he’s the type to regularly hit on students or that he could stand Rose for more than the time required by his job.
Honestly, how anyone does is beyond me.
“Have fun.”
I can’t stop the smile that pulls at my lips as I duck out the door, only catching a glimpse of Dimitri’s side-eye from my comment.
I feel bad, well, kinda, because this is his job, but nobody deserves to deal with Rose.
Besides, I can make it to the library now!
The thought puts pep in my step, and I can’t stop myself; I don’t want to.
I almost make it, too.
“What are you doing?”
I stop in the middle of the hall, hands gripping the straps of my backpack as I feel it again.
For weeks now, I’ve felt them, but I’ve never been able to place it or had a moment to call it out.
Now alone in the hall, that’s all I can do, because I can’t go on like this, feeling like I might be losing it.
I’m not, though. I know someone’s here.
I turn around and find nobody, but still, the feeling of the gaze remains.
“I know you’re here!”
Against every instinct, I let my eyes fall closed and take a deep breath, centering myself so that I’m able to think more clearly.
Warm, fresh sugar cookies.
“Titus.” His name slips out of my mouth, hardly more than a whisper, without any real thought, but the second I say it, I know without a doubt that I’m right.
The air shifts around me, and I open my eyes and come face-to-face with a very annoyed-looking Titus.
I knew it!
“What do you want?” I let my annoyance slip into my words as a scowl turns my lips down.
I’ve spent the last two weeks feeling like I was going crazy because he wanted to creep around, and he doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed at being caught.
“Why are you stalking me?”
His lips purse, and I swear I can see the urge to argue with me on the tip of his tongue, but he manages to keep it to himself.
I’m not surprised, though; Titus never makes anything easy, so why would this be any different?
“Stay the fuck away from me!” I spit, turning to give him my back and continuing toward the library.
“He’s dangerous.” His words are low but impossible to miss, and not just because it sounds like he’s nearly choking on them.
No, his words feel like they physically wrap around me, holding me in place and forcing me to listen.
But I don’t want to hear it.
Titus is nothing but an ass, while Felix, although a little reserved and clearly feared by most, has been nothing but nice to me.
“Everyone’s dangerous.” I turn to glare at him over my shoulder and find his gaze piercing mine as if daring me to fight him.
And, of course, I do.
Turning back around, I keep walking, more determined than ever to make it to the library, to see Felix…
I spin around to find Titus still standing in the middle of the hall, watching me as if he’s never seen me before.
“You did this on purpose…” I feel my eyes go wide as his brows pull down in a frown and his jaw clenches. “I knew someone was watching me, but I never had a moment to think about it with how busy everyone has kept me.”
Nolan had invited me to watch him swim, while Julian kept having me go to his fencing practice at least once a week.
They both ?insisted they needed to study with me more than once a week, as we all had end-of-term exams coming up.
Plus, I had my meetings with Dimitri, my own classes, and violin and cello practice.
“You’ve all had me running around like crazy to keep me away from him—” The words catch in my throat because I know they're true; I see it in his eyes as he stares back at me.
At least he has the decency not to lie about it.
I’d thought they enjoyed spending time with me, that I’d found a place…
I should have known better.
“Stay away from me!” I take a step back, and he takes another forward, keeping us the same distance apart.
He isn’t going to just let me slip away. No, for whatever reason, Titus seems hell-bent on keeping me away from Felix despite not liking me one bit.
“If he’s so dangerous, why not let me go and be with him? Then you and Gavin don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’ll be out of your hair!” I hiss, the venom in my words shocking even me as I hear each word echo back to me in the abandoned hall.
“I promised Julian I would keep you safe.” He continues to advance, and with his longer stride, I’m already losing ground. Throw in the fact that I’m walking backward, and he’s going to catch me any second now.
“And I made a promise to myself that I’d never let him hurt anyone else.”
This isn’t working.
“He won’t hurt me.” I change tactics, hoping for a distraction at the very least. In a perfect world, I would plead Felix’s case and make Titus understand he’s not dangerous, but one look at him and I know that won’t happen.
The hatred that burns in his eyes at even the mention of his brother makes the way he feels about me seem like a loving friendship.
“You’ve been stalking me, and they’ve all been trying to keep me busy just to keep me away from him?”
I know it’s true, but I need him to say it, to tell me this was all a lie.
“The same way you let me believe you couldn’t understand a word I said.” I hear the challenge and throw my hands in the air.
That isn’t the same at all.
“That was on you for believing you're the smartest person in the room. You should never underestimate the people around you.”
I didn’t know it was possible, but his eyes narrow impossibly further, and his nostrils flare.
“You’re right,” he says with a stiff nod, and for a moment I’m shocked into silence.
Did he just agree with me?
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end again, and that’s all the warning I get.
Thankfully, I learned a long time ago to trust my gut, and I don’t hesitate to run.
I feel him behind me, much closer than he should be so soon, and when I turn the corner, he doesn’t even fall behind a little. The library is right there, only a handful of steps away, and I just know Felix is there waiting for me.
Is he upset that I haven’t come to see him?
Worse, have I hurt his feelings?
Titus snatches me up as if I weigh nothing, and honestly, to him and the rest of them, I probably don’t. I kick and punch his back as he tosses me over his shoulder, but it’s no use; it’s as if he can’t even feel it.
“Put me down!” I huff and puff, having exhausted myself for doing seemingly nothing.
“I won’t let you hurt Julian, even if I can’t stand you.” His words hit me, and with a groan, I stop fighting.
I have no intention of never seeing Felix again, but I can see that Titus really is worried about him hurting me, even if only for Julian’s sake, and while I might not like him, I can respect that.
I don’t want to hurt Julian either.
My head throbs, and I rub at my temple as he walks down the hall toward our dorm. I might not have given up seeing Felix, but I need to find another way, a smarter way, and get some meds because all of this running and fighting has given me another headache.