45. Nolan
For the first time in, well, ever, my first thought isn’t swimming even as I change into my suit and go through my stretches.
No, my mind continues to wander back to the tiny girl who not only dominates my every waking moment but now my dreams as well.
I’ve never dreamed before; usually, I have nothing, or my mother or siblings visit me, which is never a good thing.
Seeing Wren in sleep is definitely preferred.
“Nolan!” I turn to find Coach standing near the door, a peeved look on his face that tells me this wasn’t the first time he called me. “You’re up first. Let's go.”
“What? My heat is usually last,” I say, but I follow him nonetheless.
“Yes, well, your father apparently has a meeting and has requested you go first so that he can see you perform.”
Fuck.
It’s no secret that Coach doesn’t like my father. Most people don’t, but he really hates it when he makes demands like he’s clearly done this morning.
If I weren’t the best on the team, I’m not sure he would tolerate it. Back when I first started swimming, shit like this would earn me extra laps and time in the gym, but now I do that on my own. I ate, breathed, and lived swimming; it was all I was good at, my one chance at escape.
We make it out, and I find my heat ready and waiting, every stink eye and side eye turning to me.
Yet another thing I’m used to.
I put my cap on, move to the center block, and slip my goggles on.
“100-yard breaststroke.” I wasn’t sure where Coach would put me since I’m at the top of the team in both breaststroke and backstroke and often switch between them as needed.
It makes no difference to me, well, at least not until I look up and nearly fall off the block into the water below.
There in the crowd where the guys always sit is Wren.
Her hair has a slight purple tint, and she still looks tired, but the smile on her face is fucking contagious and just for me.
Her eyes light up when she sees that I’ve noticed her, and she waves.
She doesn’t even seem to notice Julian and the way he watches her with the softest look I’ve ever seen on his face.
Or Dimitri, who watches her from a few rows away, clearly wanting to be near her, though I’m not sure if it’s his job or her that keeps him away.
Gavin is nowhere to be found, and Titus sits on Julian’s other side.
I offer a wave and a smile. I couldn’t stop myself, even as I realize my mistake and quickly look away, letting my hand fall back at my side.
It doesn’t matter, though; the damage is done, and when I find my father in the crowd, the smile on his face tells me he’d been paying attention.
She shouldn’t be here, not after everything that’s been going on, but she is, and that means something, though I’m not sure it’s smart to look into exactly what that might be right now.
The race is over in a flash; even with minimal sleep, I win, securing my spot in the finals next week after the showcase. But the win doesn’t feel the same, and the second my head breaks through the surface of the water, I’m looking for her, not the scoreboard with my time.
She’s standing now, clapping and cheering, and I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but tune my hearing in to see what she’s saying to Julian.
“He did it! He did great! That was amazing!” She sounds so excited and full of life as she grabs Julian’s arm, nothing like the crying girl we pulled out of the near-scalding shower yesterday, and, like with me, he seems to smile just from her proximity.
She should still be sleeping, but I can’t deny that having her here feels good.
I get out of the pool and do a quick wipe down before I’m running toward them as they make their way down the bleachers. The next swimmers are getting ready, and while I usually enjoy watching my competition to learn, I can’t be bothered right now.
She’s in my arms before I can really register how, and I know I’m wet and there are people, but she did this, not me, and fuck if I can make myself pull away.
“Well, aren’t you two friendly.”
His voice hits me like a shock, and I jump back, leaving Wren to stand beside Julian, her cheeks blooming red and eyes downcast.
Again, I’ve put her in the line of fire; it’s as if I can’t stop myself.
“We’ll meet you back in the dorm,” Julian says, reaching out to wrap his arm around Wren, pulling her into his side and away from my father, who’s looking at her like she’s his next meal.
Anger like I’ve never felt before boils up inside me, knowing he’s probably scheming and planning, and she’s going to get caught in the crossfire.
She deserves more than this.
“I see you are taking this seriously. At this rate, you’ll have your land legs in no time.” He claps me on the back, and I stagger forward, more caught off guard by his words than the hit.
I look up, worried someone might have heard him, but Julian seems oblivious as he continues to steer Wren through the crowd of people like he’s her bodyguard.
“I’m proud of you, boy.” And with that, he too is gone, and I’m left standing alone in a crowd of people, feeling like I’m going to be sick.
I’ve never wanted something as much as I want to keep her safe, even if that means staying away.