Chapter 2
Chapter two
Kai
“You’re here,” Ramy says, grinning as he pushes the front door wider.
Ramy’s slim frame is perfectly proportioned, every angle a complement to his dark eyes set over golden-brown skin and hair like poured ink.
“Of course, mate,” I reply and hug him. “How's this house of madness?”
After a beat, Ramy returns the hug. It’s always like this with him. As if he’s expecting me to pull back and laugh in his face, and needs a second to brace himself for impact. Like I ever would. Even without everything we’ve been through, Ramy’s one of my people now.
I give him an extra squeeze, warmed when he finally relaxes, before letting go.
“Vampire Manor is doing well. Great, even. Come in. Golden’s excited to see you.” Ramy ushers me inside, and for the first time since we met, he’s completely at ease. Excited, even.
Only two weeks ago, this place was in ruins. Jace had attacked and kidnapped me, Golden, and Ramy. But not before he and his blood mage lackeys tore through the mansion like wildfire. How Ramy got the windows and marbling in the kitchen fixed or replaced in such a short time is a mystery.
Or they’re just that rich.
“I think you could use some more paintings,” I muse, eyeing the empty walls while following him down a rosewood hallway lined with dark green carpet runners.
“Any recommendations?”
“Maybe something by Rachel Jones. She’s this cool British artist, lotta big colours. She likes her teeth, too.”
“Very fitting,” Ramy replies playfully, flashing his fangs.
“So what’s got you in such a good mood? I know I’m great and all, but you're about to burst.”
Ramy glances my way, eyes sparkling. “Vidar is here.”
“Isn’t he…not well?” I say, trying to be empathetic when what I really mean isn’t he, from what Golden has described, a half-starved vampire.
“Vidar is doing much better,” Ramy explains, and I swear he starts skipping. “I can’t wait to introduce you. Oh! And he has tattoos—you’re going to love them!”
Ramy’s happiness is infectious, and I know he cares a lot about the vampire who made him, so I sling an arm around his shoulders. “Well, I can’t wait to meet him then.” And it isn’t even a lie, even if I’m a little bit apprehensive.
Hopefully Vidar won’t wanna snack on me.
We reach the end of the hallway, and Ramy pushes open a thick door, where the low hum of voices spills out along with flickering shadows, all blending with a warm, wood-burning scent.
When I cross the threshold, I come into a plush living room with soft jazz spilling from hidden speakers, a fire crackling in a walnut and stone fireplace.
Golden is tucked in the crook of Lucero’s arm, where they lounge on a cream coloured C-shaped sofa taking up an entire wall.
My friend spots me and bolts upright, flashing a smile that could light up a stadium.
‘HURTS! Oh God, it hurts. Can’t take it any more, I can’t! Kill me, Kai! Make it end!’
The memory of Golden’s transformation into a vampire hits me so hard I nearly double over. But I can’t let that show on my face, can’t let Golden see that his screams still slice into my mind and paralyse me most nights.
So I take hold of all the fear and helplessness and toss them away like a baseball, and grin so wide for him that my cheeks hurt. I’m about to go forward when something—no, someone catches the entirety of my attention.
I inhale, and something inside my chest reaches out towards this man. Something with the weight of mountains, a connection that both shakes my core and steadies it. It’s instinct to take a step towards him, to be closer. Like breathing, a heart beating or…
Falling in love.
“Have we met before?” I hear myself ask the man on the opposite side of the room, his hooded eyes wide and locked on mine. His chest still.
Even sitting, he’s tall with white hair shaved at the sides and more on top that curves around his sculpted face, and serious mouth.
But those locks aren’t like Ramy’s wave of silk, more like shards of ice.
His skin is pale with peach undertones. Which sounds soft, but this man with bulging muscles is anything but.
His eyes that spear me are grey. But not the simple, forgettable kind. More like molten silver poured into the mould of a legendary weapon.
“I know you…” I breathe, edging forward, the connection demanding I close the distance.
This man gives me the same sense I used to have with my Mini Cooper before the panic stole it—like I could fly down the road with the wind in my braids and not care what scars were on display.
Freedom. He feels like freedom.
He rises slowly, smooth like a predator. I should be afraid—I’m not.
“Soulmate.” When I hear his voice, hard as forged steel, my chest flares bright and expands.
From the moment I understood what romantic love was as a kid, I knew I had someone out there who was meant for me.
I waited for years, and not once did I give up hope, even when people laughed.
And at last I’ve found the one person who’ll love me despite my scars and secrets.
All the horror and nightmares and fighting off the frozen panic will be worth it, because finally—finally—my patience has paid off and I can have the unconditional love I’ve craved for so long.
And the bitter jealousy I had when Golden found his soulmate can just be another secret that never sees the light.
“Impossible,” the man says.
Time stutters.
“I-impossible?” I repeat, unable to grasp what he means. Surely he’s happy. Lucero loves Golden so much. Don’t all soulmates? I deserve that too…don’t I?
But his handsome face transforms into an angry mask, nose flaring and teeth bared. “I refuse to have a mate who looks like you.”
I thought I knew pain when fire scorched my face, but as my heart breaks and the shards rip through my chest, I start to think I never really did.
I don’t know when Golden moved, but suddenly, he’s in front of me and trying to be a shield as the man—my soulmate, my one true love—storms out of the room and away.
“Vidar, wait!” Ramy calls out, rushing after him. “I’ll fix this, Kai. I’ll fix this!”
Golden’s mouth is moving, but his words are lost in the chaos of my thoughts.
‘I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong…’
Golden turns to his soulmate, who’s standing behind him now—Lucero’s blue gaze filled with pity.
‘This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. How can I fix this? Fix me…’
I flinch when Golden takes my hand, gently pulling it away from the braids I hadn’t even noticed I was yanking to hide the left side of my scarred face.
“Maybe he isn’t your soulmate. That can happen, right, Lucero?” Golden’s voice is high, desperate. “Or maybe—”
‘Maybe I’m useless and he knew it the second he saw me.’
“Golden, have you drunk blood today?” I ask so loudly that we both startle.
“W-what?” his forehead draws in tight. “What has that got to do with—”
“You’re still looking really tired, and Ramy told me that as you’re a new vampire, you need to drink at least four litres of blood a day.”
Golden stares at me like I’ve lost my mind.
Perhaps I have.
It’s like that moment of weightlessness when the car flipped, when I felt like I was being thrown out of my body.
“Just because you technically can’t get sick, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look after yourself,” I say, slipping into my best fussy big brother voice.
Better to focus on him.
“I…” Golden’s gaze shoots to Lucero and his pinched forehead, then back to me. “I…yeah, I’ve drunk blood today. But you’re right, I need to rest. Stay with me? Please. Just…please.”
I shake my head hard enough to hurt my neck.
“I’m alright, but you head off to bed now, okay?
And drink more blood. Actually, lemme add you to my to-do list and I can remind you.
I do that for Thomas and his medication.
Honestly, if I didn’t he’d forget. But I don’t mind, as long as he’s okay.
And you, too. As long as you’re both okay. ”
Golden squeezes my hand tighter. “Please, Kai. Stay here tonight. Please. We can talk, figure out…just…Kai, don’t go away.”
“Golden is right,” Lucero says. “You should stay.”
I push down all of me until I might not even be a real person any more. Just a Kai-shaped thing.
“Don’t worry about me. Besides, Golden needs to focus on getting better. You’ve been so weak after turning into a vampire, mate. You have to get better, okay? How about you come over to mine at some point and I’ll do your hair?”
Golden searches my face, and after a moment, he nods. “Okay. Okay, I’ll…” His voice wobbles, but he forces a smile, and I hate that I’m making him pretend like this. “I’ll come over. But you have to text me when you get home. Promise? And call me. Any time. It doesn’t matter when. Please, Kai.”
I try on a smile for Golden, but it’s all wrong with too many jagged edges.
“Yeah, I gotta…” I swallow. “I gotta go.”
My mind is empty as I leave the mansion, a part of me hoping Vidar will change his mind and come running after me.
He doesn’t.
And he doesn’t when I drive away in my Mini Cooper. I stay hollow the whole drive home, barely remembering getting back into the city and parking in my underground garage. Head empty of thoughts as I make my way up the flights of stairs and towards my flat, then hang up my jacket like I always do.
As normal, I get undressed and oil my hair, and brush my teeth. I text Golden and message ‘goodnight’ in my family group chat and the one with my brothers.
It’s when my phone and tablet are on charge, my to-do list updated, clothes folded, the sides wiped clean, and the floor hoovered—with all my lights off and I’m alone in my lumpy bed—when it finally sinks in that….Vidar really isn’t coming for me.
Hot, aching tears rip down my face and open me so wide that everything I’ve been forcing down comes out in a great, shuddering yell that I suffocate into my pillow.
‘I’ve just met my soulmate, and he doesn’t want me.’ I think on repeat as I grab hold of my braids to cover my face and curl in on myself, sobbing.