Chapter 25 #2
Only when he’s trembling from pleasure do I rise, dropping the lube to roll away and grab hold of both cheeks.
“I was right,” I say, voice hot enough to melt steel, and gaze transfixed at the first sight of his tight little hole as I spread him open. “You should be worshipped, Kai.”
I fist my cock, and slide it between his cheeks, hissing at the heat and silk of his skin. This desire for him builds and builds and never ends.
“And I’m your most devout follower.”
The filthy and stretched-taut noise we make on my first glide is barely contained within the soundproof walls, and I nearly explode all over Kai’s back. I bow over his body, take his long fingers where they dig into the desk and entwine them.
Kai clings to my hand, both of us needing the connection.
Chieftain, Husband, Maker—yet when Kai, lost in pleasure, whispers, “Vidar.” It's the first time my name has ever held true meaning.
“Move, oh God, move!” Kai cries.
As if I could do anything else. I take hold of his ass, then, like the sweetest kind of torture—I fucking move.
My eyes roll as a groan of warrior pride breaks out of my chest like a war cry. Kai follows my lead, humping back, his breathing ragged as his hand rubs up and down faster.
“You like the way I worship you?” My pace quickens. “The way I praise your body?”
“Bite me.” Kai moves his hips faster. “Fuck me with your fangs!”
I curse in Old Norse and lay over his back—wishing I’d taken off my shirt so we could be closer. And with my cock clenched between his asscheeks, our slick bodies plastered together, I sink my fangs into the soft column of his neck.
“Oh my God, VIDAR!” Kai screams, his body shuddering as an orgasm takes hold.
His blood is orange scented ecstasy, and I gulp him down, moaning as each splash coats my throat, and finally, I’m full for the first time in my long life.
Kai drops limp on the desk, arm hanging by his side. Knowing I’m the one who gave him that pleasure makes me want to beat my chest. Instead, I ride him harder, losing all rhythm and driven by a need to quench my lust.
“I wanna feel you cum, Vidar.” Kai’s wet hand slaps on my taut abs. “Mark me with your cum. Get it all over me.”
I rip my fangs out of his throat, throw my head back and roar as I shoot ropes of cum, spilling all over Kai’s hole and back—marking him just as he asked.
My senses soar, carrying the taste and feel and scent and image of Kai with me. Every time I suck in a breath, it’s all oranges and lavender.
Our connected hands tighten, my heart swelling. These emotions are so massive that they eclipse everything else.
Finally, I slump over his body, breathing harder than I ever have and more victorious than in any battle.
“Well…” Kai chuckles, breathless. “That was something.”
“Something?” I kiss the back of his neck and massage his liquefied muscles. “My life flashed before my eyes.”
My heart doesn’t follow me back down to Earth; it continues to grow.
“Are you saying I’m like a near-death experience?” Kai sighs under my hands.
I chuckle softly, wrap my arms around him. “Or that I’ve never felt so alive.”
Kai brings our interlocked fingers together and brushes his lips over each knuckle. Then sweetly kisses the tips of my fingers.
My love for this man is limitless. I want to carry him home and bathe him. Treat him like the precious jade he truly is.
“As nice as this is, I’m really sticky,” Kai mutters.
Reluctantly, I pull away to find he’s covered in my seed. “Yes, you are.”
He snorts as he sits up. “Someone is sounding pleased with themselves.”
“You have no idea.” And I tap his reddened ass.
Kai turns, his spent cock hanging between his legs.
I go rigid.
The happiness grows. Bigger and bigger, alongside other emotions.
All too big.
Too quickly.
Too much to contain.
This was how my apathy began, extreme highs and then…lows that would crush me under their weight. A weight I can’t bear again. I slam a soundproof window between me and everything else.
“Vidar?”
My eyes snap up, and I realise from Kai’s concerned expression that it wasn’t the first time he called my name.
I open my mouth to explain myself.
But what can I say? What can I really be for him? I call myself a warrior, a chieftain. Yet I’m standing, dick out, in front of the most beautiful person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting, and I’m…
Stuck.
“Are you okay?” He reaches for me.
I cringe away, and the hurt that blooms in his eyes makes the feelings in my chest expand. But I stay behind my glass. Safe away from apathy and everything else.
Kai’s looking at me. Wanting something. How is there too much of me, yet not enough to give him?
I curse myself and my weakness.
“Can you turn around while I clean myself up, please?” Kai asks softly, expression shattered.
I want to take away the tremor in his voice. But if I touch him, it’ll break the glass, and the things I can’t control will be freed. Easier to give him my back, not to think.
When I hear the rustle of tissues, I shut my eyes and clench my fists. I should be looking after him.
“Kai, I’m…” I’m what? Sorry? How many times have I been sorry? Didn’t I vow I’d destroy any man who made him cry real tears? Yet hasn’t it always been me to make him cry?
A tap on my shoulder, and I turn to find Kai fully dressed.
“We have to…” Kai shakes his head, eyebrows drawn in. “Why do you keep doing this, Vidar? You keep leading me on. Why?”
“Because I’m a fool, but I love you. Please just give me this chance to show you how I can love you.” When he doesn’t respond, I realise I haven’t said a single thing aloud. I try again, but the words are like vapour and float away.
“Fuck sakes, Vidar!” Kai bites out, tears shining in his eyes and clinging to his leather jacket like a lifeline. “Am I a game to you?”
I try to reach for him, but my arms are like blocks of steel, and I don’t even move an inch. More proof that I’m weak.
“I can’t keep…My heart can't take any more. It isn't fair.” Kai wraps his arms around himself, tears gathering the glitter on his cheeks as they roll down his face. “It isn’t fair when all I want is to be loved,” he whispers on a hiccup.
Shame eats at me. I want to look after him. Why can’t I just look after him?
“Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Because I’m a failure.
“Why don’t you want me?” Kai’s voice is small, and so fragile that when it leaves his trembling lips, his words crumble.
If only I could tell him he’s wrong. But haven’t I proved Kai right at every turn—implied he’s ugly, wished him dead like a complete fool. And now, when all he needs is my assurance, I can’t even open my useless mouth.
“I can’t do this anymore. I just can’t…”
I realise that Kai is no longer standing in front of me, and is instead across the room by the door. When did he move?
Fuck, am I losing time? Panic seizes me, but I shove that behind the glass, too. I won’t live through apathy again.
I can’t. The quiet is horrifying, but the numbness when I was trapped in the mansion for eight years was worse.
I might’ve shattered the glass once with Lucero’s help, but the wounds apathy left behind are too deep.
And as Kai turns the door handle, taking him further and further away from me, regret sinks deeper into that wound.
Once the door is opened, Kai waits a beat. His shoulders trembling, and hugging his leather jacket, giving me one last chance to prove I can be the type of man he deserves.
But I vowed to destroy anyone who made him cry. So when the door softly shuts behind him, I allow apathy to finally ruin me and sink into nothingness.