Chapter 26
Chapter twenty-six
Kai
I’m quick to leave the club. I know I should tell someone, but I can’t stand another second behind these stifling walls.
The winter wind is harsh once I get outside and shocks my system, yet all I can think about is that Vidar doesn’t want me. Full stop. Period. End of conversation.
Sure, he got off, but it doesn’t change the fact that I had to be on my stomach or when he saw my spent prick, regret was written all over his face.
I guess realisation sunk in, and he couldn’t accept that I’m a man and that’s how my great love story ends; a hot hump session and tears. Fucking classic if I’ve ever heard one.
I manage to grab a taxi, hating myself when he gives me an annoyed look when I hesitate to get inside—fear and memories of screaming and flipping and blood as bright as the club lights.
I curse and force myself to just fucking get inside, then mumble my address.
The driver doesn’t say anything as he peels off the pavement, but does blast the heat.
“Thanks,” I mutter.
He grunts kindly, but doesn’t say anything else, which I appreciate. I ain’t in the mood to chat.
I scrub away any leftover tears I shed while standing outside Lucero’s office, stupidly waiting for Vidar. But just tattoo ‘idiot’ on my bloody forehead, because of course Vidar didn’t come running after me. We’re just soulmates after all, nothing special!
I suck in a quivering breath.
I’ll be okay. I have to get over this. I can get over this heartbreak; I’ve done it twice now.
Glancing out the window, I see my reflection, see I’m tugging on my hair and collapse against the door, too tired to even attempt to stop. Too disappointed and embarrassed that I can’t stop.
When I saw Vidar in Sucker leading a woman away, I grabbed the first random guy to help me forget that I’ll never be what he wants.
But also, if I’m honest with myself—and what better place for honesty than the back of a taxi at 2 am—I hoped Vidar would notice.
I wanted to prove I was okay and didn’t need him.
But then Vidar pushed the stranger away, and when he pulled me into his arms, I felt more alive than I thought possible.
Vidar finally snapped and realised I was his one true love.
I pull my knees up to my chest to bury my face.
‘Sure, and then he’d propose, and we’ll make love as the sun sets.’
I just wish this night would end.
Or I just wish I could cut these feelings that wrap around me like a knotted rope.
I’ve always wanted the big love. I want Vidar on one knee and a horde of kids.
But if I can’t have that with the one person in this world who Fate decided was exactly my right fit, then who the fuck can I have it with?
The cab slows to a stop, and I shake my thoughts away, not bothering to look at the fee, just tapping my phone to pay and jumping out.
My feet scuff against the crumbling concrete as I make my way to my block of flats, heaving a pained breath as I pull open the mangled door Vidar tore apart to get to me.
I should just move rather than have another reminder of him.
I drag my feet up the stairs, oddly comforted by the stink. My life might be one letdown after the next, but at least this is consistent. When I get to my flat, I stab the key inside the lock and twist so I can push into my empty flat.
“Home sweet home,” I mumble, letting the door swing shut.
A slam has me jumping, and I twist around to see a hand keeping my door open.
“Hey, Kai.”
My stomach drops at the familiar sweet voice.
“Emma.” I step back. “Listen, if you’ve come here to scare the shit outta me again, can you just do it, then leave?”
Emma pushes back her dark hair, streaked with white, and looks at me with sympathy. She slips in, and the door quietly shuts behind her.
“I’m not here for any of that.” She shows me her hands as if to prove she’s no threat, but it isn’t her hands I’m worried about. “I thought you needed a friend.”
I glare. “I got plenty of them.”
“True.” She nods, tucking her palms into her jeans pockets. “Not a soulmate though, right?”
My gaze drops. I try to stop my lips from trembling, my eyes from watering, but Vidar’s rejection is a fresh wound. “Just piss off, a-alright?”
“What happened, Kai?” she asks gently. But it isn’t real. I know it isn’t.
I rub my face roughly as more tears roll down my cheeks.
“What are you even doing here? I told you I’m not giving you the book! Can’t you supernatural dickheads just leave me alone for one shitting second?” I snap, voice trembling and wet.
Emma doesn’t say anything, just looks at me like I can pour my heart out, and she’ll listen.
Like my outburst is justified and understandable.
Worse—like she genuinely cares. I hate that a part of me wants to open up for her.
I try to sense if she's using blood magic, but I don’t feel any compulsion like last time.
“We had sex, if you must know,” I bite out, too drained to stop my tears from flowing. “But it ended as well as can be expected. So, here I am with a soulmate who doesn’t want me again! AGAIN!” Grabbing hold of my braids, I yell out my frustrations. “So pathetic.”
“Hey, come on, you aren’t pathetic,” Emma says, stern but gentle.
I sniff in disbelief.
Emma lets out a long-suffering sigh, as if we’ve known each other for years, and lays a comforting hand on my shoulder that I’m too spent to brush off. “None of that, okay? Be upset, but you are not pathetic, Kai.”
My lower lip trembles, and I wrap my arms around my middle. “R…really?”
“I’ve known about magic and soulmates all my life, so if my soulmate didn’t want me, the pain would never stop. But you, Kai?” She lets out a whistle. “You’re a baby to all this. The fact that you’re even standing shows your strength. But being that strong takes a lot out of someone.”
My body trembles, and I hug myself tighter. “It’s all been so much…too much…”
“‘Course it has, and you’re dealing with this all alone.”
“I have friends,” I sniffle, the anger draining away to leave me hollow.
Emma wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Your friend Golden?”
I nod.
“But his soulmate loves him, right? Vidar…well, I don’t need to say it.”
A feeble sob breaks from my chest, and Emma wraps me in her arms, shushing me and like an idiot, I rest my head on her shoulder.
“I just wish…” I Mumble.
“That Vidar would love you back?”
“Not that…”
Her hand keeps soothing, her arms around me steady like she has plenty of time.
“I just wanna be happy, and despite everything, I want Vidar to be happy too, and if we weren’t soulmates, he’d be free. We’d both be free.”
Emma’s hand stills, then continues. “You’ve been through so much, haven’t you?”
Any remaining strength vanishes, and I only keep standing upright due to Emma’s hold on me.
“And you’re such a sweet boy, you always think about everyone else. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Kai. You deserve to have the perfect romance.”
My eyelids drop, lulled by her words. How nice would that be?
“I can help you with that, Kai…”
In the back of my head, I know I shouldn’t trust Emma. But how much more of this heartbreak can I suffer through?
“H-...how?”
Lightly, she pulls back, smiling sympathetically and stroking a braid behind my ear. “I can cut the connection, so you and Vidar aren’t soulmates anymore. You’ll both be free.”
“Free?” I whisper, my heart lifting and shattering at the same time.
Emma’s smile is warm. “Yes, sweet boy, but I need the spellbook to do it.”
I’d be foolish to give it to her. Foolish to hand over something so dangerous.
Yet…
“Vidar would be happier?” My words shake, my vision swimming. “I’d…be happier?”
She nods, her eyes bright and forehead drawn in.
My gaze drops to my feet.
I’d been so happy when I first met Vidar. Finally, I found the person I’ve always been drawn to, I didn’t need to be jealous of Golden and Apollo anymore; I’d found my soulmate.
‘I refuse to have a mate who looks like you.’
‘Maybe I should do what you did. Wait for Kai to be reborn and come back in a more pleasing form.’
‘I feed almost exclusively on women, Kai, because I like to have sex while I feed.’
Vidar’s been telling me this whole time what he wants, and it’s time to listen. Slowly, I turn towards my freezer and edge towards it. Opening the door and staring at the wrinkled spellbook that I never should’ve had in the first place.
As always, when I pick it up, the leather is warm, and when I turn back and amble to Emma, I feel like I’ve aged a hundred years. She cups my cheeks when I’m in front of her, and there’s a promise sparkling in her eyes that she can take every burden from me.
“You deserve to be loved, Kai.” Emma’s quiet, gentle words slip into my chest, and try to bandage what's broken. “Once your soul is split from Vidar’s, you’ll find someone who’ll truly love you.”
My tears splatter against the book’s cover. “Really?” I whisper weakly.
She brings my forehead down and brushes a kiss against it. “Really.”
“I’ve been so tired,” I hiccup.
She pulls back and patiently pats away my tears. “Once this is all done, you can finally rest.”
My fingers tremble as I clutch the spellbook. In my gut, I know I shouldn’t hand it over. Yet it’s my heart that pushes me forward.
“I…”
I look into Emma’s dark gaze. “I can fix this, Kai. Let me help.”
My eyes squeeze shut, and I suck in a shaking breath.
Maybe everything doesn’t have to be so hard. Don’t I deserve happiness?
I open my eyelids, then gradually hold out the spellbook. “I give this to you, Emma—willingly.”
And I gingerly place the large tome in her outstretched palm. There’s no grand snap of magic, just relief I’m finally rid of the thing.
Emma runs an adoring hand over the wrinkled cover. “You’ve done a good thing today, Kai.”
Nervous sweat dampens my palms. My phone in my back pocket vibrates, and it’s like a bucket of cold water waking me up.
This isn’t right. This really, really isn’t right.
Emma flips open the book as if she has little time to spare, whizzing through pages so quickly I can’t tell if she’s even reading the words until she stops, her hand splayed over a page with words and symbols I have no hope of understanding.
“Here we are,” she whispers, awed and hungry for more than food could ever nourish.
Doubt makes me take a step back. “Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”
Emma slaps an open palm on my bare chest just as I’m about to take a step back. “I always follow through with my promises, Kai.”
Panic seizes me, and I try to push away, but she grabs my shirt collar.
“Wait, I’ve changed my mind!”
Her mouth stretches wide enough to show teeth and pink gums. “You might feel a pinch.”
Nails dig into my chest, I scream at the pain and attempt to struggle, but I’m locked in place as a searing pain rips into my flesh and drags needles down my nerve endings.
I wail, falling to my knees when my legs give out.
Emma chants, and more pain spears through my chest. Slices up my arms, cuts into every muscle until the hurt vibrates into my marrow. My words are stolen, all I can do is wail in agony.
Emma runs a nail down my sternum, and I watch in horror as my chest slices open like a watermelon, red spilling out and soaking my jeans.
A rich metallic scent assaults my nose, and then a pain I can’t comprehend steals my breath and rips apart my nerves with bare, clawed hands.
Emma’s face swims and doubles, grinning like a lunatic as her spells destroy my body.
‘And it’s all my fault.’ I think, darkness creeping in at the edges, pain soaking my brain.
Somewhere in the background, I hear a crash, and just before I black out, a dark figure charges towards the blood mage.