Chapter 28
Chapter twenty-eight
Kai
Voices are the first thing I’m aware of.
I try to pinpoint who’s speaking, but it’s garbled like I’m underwater, and my bloated head warps noise into bubbles.
I shift, and all noise pops into silence. My eyelids flutter, and I immediately regret it when sharp light pricks my irises.
“Where am I?” I groan, throat dry.
“Home.” Vidar’s low voice, hard with something my fuzzy mind is too stupid to pick up, brushes across my ear.
“Home?”
“Vampire Manor.”
I register the hard planes of Vidar’s chest before I’m fully awake.
As one by one my senses come back online, I find I’m safely tucked in his arms, nestled between his muscular thighs with my cheek lying on the cotton of his clothed shoulder.
His scent was a cool breeze to my mind, which seemed to be on fire.
The bed bounces, and a mess of black curls spills into my line of sight. “You’re awake!” Golden’s shout pierces my eardrum, and I groan. “Shit, sorry,” he mumbles softly.
Golden pushes on Vidar’s arm, the big vampire grunting as my friend flops half on top of him. The familiar scent of creamy coconut envelops me as Golden drops his head on Vidar’s chest, the end of his button nose pressing against mine.
“How are you feeling?” Golden asks, his eyes red-rimmed.
“Honestly? Kinda like I’ve been hit by a truck.”
I try to remember what happened, but my sluggish memories are taking their time coming back.
Vidar grunts again but doesn’t complain, and I twist in time to see Ramy elbow his way onto Vidar’s other side, before I’m locked in an embrace.
“I was so worried about you!” His tone is raw, stark with worry.
My body is weak, but I have enough strength to hold their hands. “Sorry, I scared you.” Even if I’m still unsure what happened.
“You were right from the beginning.” Ramy lays his head on the pillow we’ve made of Vidar’s chest so our eyes can meet. “We should’ve run.” Then, to my surprise, Ramy holds up a glinting key ring. “I’ve already stolen Lucero’s keys.”
My body aches, my memories blur, and everything’s a mess. But I wouldn’t trade all the money in the world for the laughter that leaves the three of us, our hands tangled together like a mess of red strings.
Vidar takes hold of my chin and draws my head back. “Kai.” The way he says my name is gentle, but a command all the same. “Do you remember what happened?”
I open my mouth to say I’m not sure, but as the laughter dies, memories rise like zombies.
I’m so fucking stupid.
I try to pull from him, but Vidar’s grip, while not painful, keeps me locked in place. So instead, I glance away to find Lucero and Rurik silently standing guard by the bed, arms crossed.
“You’re living my dream, Maker.” A tall figure in all black steps out of the shadows. “Draped in pretty boys.”
Both Vidar and Lucero growl in warning.
The stranger is Japanese, with tan-olive skin stretched over a strong build and the tapered waist of a swimmer. A wave of dark hair crashes into broad shoulders, and there’s a slight bend to the bridge of his nose—as if a fist’s connected with his face more than once.
But something in his swagger tells me a bloody nose only makes this vampire laugh.
“Who…?” I trail off.
“Me?” One of the stranger's thick eyebrows raises as he strolls closer, like he’ll waste your time and you’ll thank him for it. “I’m the famous Sen, surely Vidar’s spoken about me.”
“Erm…”
A pained noise bursts from this new addition to our group, and he slaps both hands over his chest. “Maker, I’m wounded. You didn’t tell him about your favourite offspring?”
Sen’s inky dark eyes shine—like he’s about to tell a dirty joke, steal your wallet, or seduce you.
Maybe all three. And the order varies wildly.
“I’m his favourite,” Ramy interjects defensively. His eyes dart to me, then back to Sen. “Second favourite.”
Sen’s long-fingered hands glide down his sculpted torso, wrapped in an expensive turtleneck. He tucks both palms into tailored slacks, thumbs hooking into a glossy leather belt to frame his groin.
“I can see why, honey.” The corners of Sen’s mouth slice into dimples that on anyone else would look innocent, but on Sen promise sin. “Wanna be my favourite, too?”
“Nice to see you're still an asshole,” Rurik deadpans, but there's a warmth there.
“My friend nearly died, and you're flirting with me?” Ramy bristles.
Sen drops an elbow on Lucero’s shoulder, and the other vampire only rolls his eyes like this is normal Sen behaviour. “Is there any better time? Life and death.” Sen’s blunt teeth snap. “Gets my blood hot.”
“Sen, shut the fuck up,” Vidar’s voice slashes out like a whip.
Sen snickers.
Vidar tugs on my chin, and our eyes clash. “Little prince, I nearly lost you.”
Under a whole lot of fury, Vidar’s gaze is wet, only making my shame and guilt curdle.
“Tell me what happened, and then I will rip Emma to pieces for what she did to you.”
Vidar’s dark tone shouldn’t dissolve under my tongue like burnt sugar, speeding up my pulse. And yet no matter what happened between us, I guess nearly dying fried my brain. Because when Vidar is speaking threats, all I hear is romance.
“Vidar.” I chew on my bottom lip. “I made such a big fucking mistake.”
“Nothing I can’t fix, got it?” The silver in his eyes becomes steel. “Nothing. Just tell me.”
I wanna believe him so badly, but in the hollow ache where Emma dug her nails, I’m scared Vidar won’t stand by me.
“I gave Emma the spellbook.”
Vidar’s chest freezes.
“Shit,” Golden mutters.
I try to wiggle out of Vidar’s grip and away from my friends. None of them deserves to be tainted by my stupid mistakes.
Vidar doesn’t let me run. Same with Golden and Ramy, who never once let their grip lessen.
“It was a lot to put on you, Kai. Don’t blame yourself,” Vidar soothes.
I shake my head.
“Exactly!” Golden insists. “Emma ain’t no shitty mage like Jace was, and we shouldn’t have let you go off on your own.”
“I didn’t tell anyone I left Sucker…”
“Doesn’t matter,” Ramy says, brow pulled in. “Like Vidar said, we’ll handle this together.”
Tears gather in my lashes.
“Luckily, I was there,” Sen says with all the humility as if he popped a crown on his head.
Vidar’s unwavering attention lands fully on Sen. There’s a beat of silence as the weight of a long life shared—and too much history—passes unsaid between offspring and Maker.
“It was,” Vidar finally says. “Thank you, Sen, for saving him.”
Another long pause from Sen, the vampire awkwardly clears his throat and nods, as if Vidar handed him a present—or a bomb—and he isn’t sure what to do with it.
“And why did you finally come home, brother?” Lucero asks, shoving Sen’s elbow away with a touch of bitterness.
Before Sen can answer, I notice Vidar’s skin is drained of all colour.
“You fed, right? At the club.” I slip my hand from Ramy’s and reach for Vidar’s face. My palm on his soft cheek, thumb cupping his hard jaw and I realise that for all the times Vidar has stubbornly reached for me, this is the first time I’ve touched him like this. “Why are you so pale?”
“It’s nothing.”
I cock an eyebrow. “I’ve got two little brothers and know when I’m being lied to. Tell me.”
Vidar sighs, putting our foreheads together.
“Just an annoying pain in my chest,” he answers. “Don’t let it concern you.”
I tug my hand from Golden’s to rub at the centre of my chest, right where Emma cast her sick spell.
Right where she ripped our soulmate connection.
“Oh God…Oh God.”
“Kai?” Vidar’s hand encapsulates mine. “It’s okay, breathe.”
I shake my head, my braids flying around my face. “I fucked up. Vidar, I fucked up so badly, and now you’re hurt, too.”
“It’ll be okay,” Ramy comforts. “We’ll get the book back.”
“Yeah!” Golden agrees. “Fuck Emma and her spooky magic—”
“You don’t understand! I made a deal with Emma, and that’s why I gave it to her…”
“A deal?” Vidar asks.
I look up and find grey eyes. People think grey is a dull colour, but in a tattoo, it adds highlights to the dark to bring a piece to life.
That’s what Vidar does to me—he fills my lungs, and we might’ve fought—and like a tattoo, he’s something I’ll never have—but in this moment, all I want to do is breathe.
“I’m so sorry, Vidar, I was just…after we…” I hiccup.
His nose nudges mine, lips so close. “What deal did you make, little prince? I’ll fix this, just tell me.”
A tear rolls down my cheek, the chasm between us growing without Vidar even knowing why.
“I agreed to give Emma the spellbook if she made it so we weren’t soulmates anymore.”
The room goes deathly quiet. Vidar and Ramy’s bodies tensing beside me.
“I-is that bad?” Golden asks. “Maybe we can reconnect it—”
Vidar moves so suddenly that Ramy and Golden scurry off him. The big vampire cradles me in his arms as he jumps out of bed, then places me on the edge like a piece of fragile china.
Gentle but urgent, Vidar tilts up my chin so our eyes clash and searches for something with a desperate intensity.
“Vidar?” My voice shakes.
“What’s happening?” Golden insists. “What’s going on?”
“Just let him look, beautiful,” Lucero replies, voice tight.
Vidar’s face hardens, and he pulls back. “Sen!”
Hand on Vidar’s shoulder, Sen pushes him away and peers down at me. Gone is his charm and bite; his expression is serious with a wrinkle between his brow.
“Damn,” Sen utters, pulling back.
“Someone tell me what’s happening!” Golden demands, grabbing hold of my hand from where he kneels alert on the mattress.
Ramy slips off the bed to join Vidar and the other offspring. Their spines rod straight as if they’re about to head into battle.
“It’s gone,” Vidar growls, panicked. Hands flexing.
“Are you sure?” Rurik bites out. “Did that asshole really take it?”
“We’ll need a mage to confirm, but he’s right,” Sen answers.
My stomach begins to sink. My eyes flicking to everyone before landing on Vidar, needing his comfort. His reassurance.
Ramy pulls Vidar's bicep, forcing his Maker to look at him. “There has to be something we can do!”
“Call Summer,” Vidar orders, his stare not once leaving mine.
Ramy nods and hurries to the door, out of sight before it even swings shut.
“We won’t have much time,” Lucero says.
“Like I needed to be reminded of that, offspring,” Vidar growls.
“What's happening?” I ask, voice trembling and squeezing Golden’s hand until I must hurt him.
Vidar sucks in a breath between clamped teeth. He hesitates, only for a second, long enough to know the news he’s about to tell me isn’t good. “Only death can cut a soulmate bond, love.”
That sinking feeling plummets.
“He’s dying?” Golden cries.
“Not dying, beautiful,” Lucero tells his mate, reaching for him.
“Not yet, that is,” Sen adds.
Vidar gets in Sen’s face and growls. “Watch your mouth.”
Sen doesn’t back down. “The boy needs to know, it’s his life after all.”
Panic grips my lungs, making it difficult to suck in a breath. “I’m dying?”
“No!” Vidar snaps, then moves back to me, his body a shield against the world. “No.” The repeated word lands with the weight of a mountain.
“T-then what’s happening!” I reach for the braids over my scarred left side and tug. And tug again and again and again.
Vidar stays silent, breathing through his nose and gaze unblinking. Mouth a thin, angry line.
“Vidar!” I beg.
“Emma ripped your soul out,” he says slowly, like he has to control himself.
I tug harder, I can’t stop. “Wh-what does that mean?”
When Vidar takes too long to answer, I dart a look to Rurik. “Tell me!”
“You can’t live without a soul, Kai,” Rurik answers. “You’ll turn into a ghoul.”
A whine escapes my empty, soulless chest. “A what?”
“No.” Golden trips out of the bed and into Lucero’s arms. “No. NO! Let me go, Lucero! I’ll find Emma myself and kick her ass! Get his soul back!”
If anything, Lucero’s hold tightens. “Like hell you are.”
The pain seeping from the hollow place in my chest grows with each of my ragged breaths. My scalp hurting as I tug harder and harder and harder. “What’s a ghoul?”
Vidar’s eyes flash, his face carved from stone. “Nothing you’ll be, Kai. I won’t allow it. I am going to find Emma, and then I am going to annihilate her fucking bloodline.”
“Tell me what a ghoul is! I need to know.”
Vidar cups my cheeks. Face carved from solid stone.
“It’s a soulless creature that goes mad and feeds on living flesh,” Sen eventually tells me, but not unkindly.
The whole world draws into a needle point.
The panic around my lungs clenches until I can only wheeze.
I tug my hair over and over again, and I hate that I can’t stop it. I hate that everyone can see my lack of control, shame coils, and I turn my back on the room. Needing to hide.
Vidar comes around to face me. “Kai?”
“I…I-I can’t s-stop,” I whisper as I keep tugging, my voice wobbling and full of tears. “Can’t stop it. Please, Vidar. I can’t stop…”
A protective arm wraps around me. “OUT!” Vidar’s voice booms.
Golden makes a strained noise. It breaks my heart, but I don’t want even him to witness the mess I’ve become. No control. No soul—turning into a fucking ghoul. It makes me sick to my stomach.
After a whispered word from Lucero, I hear many footsteps reach the door before it shuts.
“Vidar,” I beg, for what I have no idea.
Probably to turn back time and stop me from making that stupid, reckless deal with Emma.
He presses a kiss on my forehead. “I’ll be right back, gone for one second.”
Vidar moves out of my line of sight, but true to his word, after the lights go dim, he’s back. He gets into bed and pulls me into his arms as he rubs between my shoulder blades.
“I can’t stop,” I whisper, gasping and tugging harder. Faster. No control. “I just wish I could stop.”
“It’s okay, little prince.” Vidar’s voice washes over me. “It’s all okay.”
But as I keep pulling on my hair, I know that everything is far from it.