Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
~WILLA~
“ Y ou got so lucky,” I say, looking up at Jenna. I’m squatting in front of her, pinning the hemline of her wedding dress. “I can’t believe it’s just the hem that needs to be done. Otherwise, it fits like a glove.”
We’re in my shop, in the back room that I have set up for private fittings and parties. Sometimes, girls like to shop privately, and I’m more than happy to accommodate them. So, I have a beautiful, antique, three-way mirror with a pedestal set up in the middle of the space, and chairs in the corners.
“It’s so beautiful,” Jenna breathes. It’s just the two of us on this Friday afternoon, fussing over her dress. “And I can’t believe how much Max and Nina are doing to help get ready. Did you know he commissioned Brooke to take over as the planner?”
“Yes, he told me last night,” I mutter around the pins between my lips. “He’s excited for you.”
“It’s so fun. And exactly what I wanted. I know that Christian’s fans are hoping for a big spread in a magazine, but we’re private people.”
“And it’s none of their damn business,” I reply, moving to the other side of her. “I have news.”
“What’s that?”
“Max asked me to marry him.”
The hem is yanked out of my hands as Jenna spins around and pulls me to my feet, hugging me with all her might.
“Holy shit! Oh my God, Willa! You’re going to be my sister for real .”
I hold on tight, pure joy surging through my body.
“Why didn’t you call me when he asked?”
“We were having sex at the time,” I say with a laugh.
“Um, we need to change your proposal story. That can’t go in People magazine.” She leans back to look me in the eyes. “I’m so happy for you. So, so happy.”
“I’m happy for both of us. Who would have thought?”
She turns with her arm around my shoulders, and we look at our reflections in the mirror. Jenna in her amazing off-the-shoulder, white wedding dress, and me in my deep purple winter dress. Her fair features, and my dark.
We’re yin and yang.
And the closest of friends.
“Who would have thought, indeed,” she says with a grin and glances at my hand. “No ring?”
“It was spontaneous,” I say with a shrug. “And you know he’ll pick something up for me sooner or later.”
“I can’t wait to see it,” she says with a grin. “It’s going to be ridiculously amazing.”
“I hope he doesn’t spend what I paid for my house.”
“Don’t be silly,” she scoffs. “It’ll be way more than that.”
I choke on a laugh and have to take a swig of water. “What am I getting myself into?”
“The ride of your life, my friend. Now, I feel so much better seeing the dress on. Thank God it ran true to size.”
“I won’t have to outsource the hemming,” I reply. “I can do it myself. It’ll only take about an hour.”
“That long for a hem?”
“It’s not just the outskirt, it’s all of the layers underneath, as well. And you want those layers because they’ll keep you warm out there in the boonies.”
“Oh, let me show you the wrap I bought,” she says, gathering the skirt and walking to a bag on the chair in the corner. “It’s going to be warm and beautiful.”
“Oh, Jenna,” I breathe, taking the white, faux fur wrap from her and rubbing it reverently. “This is stunning. And so soft.”
I wrap it around her shoulders and step back, grinning.
“You look like a fairy princess,” I say, getting choked up. “And Christian is going to lose his shit when he sees you.”
“That’s the plan,” she says with a laugh. “Are we finished pinning?”
“Yep, I have it marked. You can put your clothes back on.” I tug the zipper down in back so she can easily step out of it, and she hurries into the changing room, pulls the curtain closed, and quickly changes into her jeans and sweater.
Just as she’s stepping into her snow boots, Melanie pokes her head around the corner.
“Willa?”
“Hi, Mel. We’re almost done here. Do you need me?”
“No, I just wanted to make sure everyone was dressed. Brad Hull is here to see you.”
“Must be wedding stuff,” Jenna says with a grin as Brad walks around the corner, but I can see by the look on his face that it’s not wedding stuff.
It’s bad.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Well, Willa, we went skiing.”
I have to sit in the chair before my legs give out from under me.
“Who? Was Alex there?” I know that my son is with my mom today, but maybe Max picked him up. Wouldn’t he call me?”
“No, Max, Christian, and some of the other guys. We went up this afternoon for a few runs, but Max was hurt.”
“No.” I shake my head, focusing on the floor. “No. He’s not hurt.”
“Jesus, how badly?” I hear Jenna ask as my heart beats out of my chest, and my hands shake. I can’t breathe. Is it hot in here? Why is it so hot in here?
“We don’t know,” Brad says grimly. “The ambulance took him to the hospital, and I came here to get you two.”
No. This can not be happening again. Not again. Not to Max.
“Come on, Willa, we have to go.”
“I can’t go,” I reply and jump up, putting my pins and scissors away. “I have too much to do. I have to hem Jenna’s dress, and I have to see to the store.”
“Willa,” Brad says, but I shake my head.
“I’m sorry, I can’t go.”
“Hey.” Jenna grabs my shoulders in her hands and makes me look her in the eye. “You have got to get your shit together, Willa, because Max needs us at the hospital.”
Tears swim in my eyes. “I can’t,” I whisper. “I can’t do this again.”
“Oh, baby,” she says, but doesn’t lose the firm grip on my shoulders. “You can, and you will. Your fiancé needs you right now.”
“Fiancé?” Brad asks in confusion.
“He asked her last night,” Jenna says, not looking away from me.
“Bastard didn’t say anything,” he mutters. “The car’s running, girls.”
“Come on,” she says, taking my hand and leading me out to the car, parked just outside the back door of the shop. She guides me into the passenger seat, and when both Jenna and Brad are seated, we zoom off toward the hospital, Brad flipping on the siren.
“You have a siren in your personal car?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer. He’s too intent on getting to the hospital, and I just feel numb.
What will I do if Max is gone? How can this be happening to me again?
“Concussion,” the doctor says grimly. I’m sitting next to Max, who has a bandage wrapped around his head. He’s sleeping. He hasn’t woken up since the accident. “He’ll be here for a couple of days while we monitor. I don’t like that he’s still unconscious.”
The doctor says more things, but I tune him out, staring at Max as I hold his hand and will him to wake up.
Wake up.
Jenna and Brad are both with me, and all the others are in the waiting room, anxious to hear how Max is doing.
“I’ll go tell the others,” Brad says. “Can I bring you two anything?”
I don’t reply, but I hear Jenna say, “Just some water, please.”
The door closes behind Brad, and Jenna sits across from me, taking his other hand.
“He’s ruined your wedding,” I whisper.
“Christian’s already called the vendors, and they’re on standby for an alternate date,” she says easily. “That’s the thing about a simple wedding. It can be changed.”
“I’m sorry,” I say and lay my forehead against the back of Max’s hand.
“What are you sorry for?”
“That I’m so weak.” It’s barely a whisper. “I’m scared out of my fucking mind.”
“Hey, that’s normal under any circumstances, but with your past? Willa, of course, you’re terrified. But you heard the doctor, he has a concussion, and he’s going to be okay.”
I swallow hard as Max shifts on the bed and briefly opens his eyes, looking around the room as if he’s drunk out of his mind.
“There she is,” he says, but falls back to sleep.
“The doctor said he’s been doing that off and on,” Jenna says.
Brad comes back with water. “Mom and Dad are here.”
“They were going to surprise you all tomorrow at the wedding,” Jenna says with a shrug. “So it’s good they came today. They should come in.”
They do. I’m hugged and fussed over. I don’t really pay too much attention to what’s said. I can’t breathe well. I’m having the longest anxiety attack on record.
Finally, everyone leaves for the night, and I’m left alone with Max, still sitting in the same chair by his side, willing him to wake up.
The sun set hours ago. Jenna checked in with my mom to give her an update on Max and to make sure Alex was okay.
The only thing I’ve been able to think all day long is, I can’t do this.
There’s shuffling behind me, and I turn to find Cary’s dad, Dan, standing in the doorway.
“Hey,” I say, standing and stepping into the hallway with him.
“I just wanted to stop by to see how he’s doing.” The strain on his face is heartbreaking. This has to be like deja vu for him, too.
“He’s going to be okay.” I let the tears fall now, splashing on my cheeks. “But I’m so damn scared.”
“Hey there,” he says, pulling me in for a hug. “This is different from before.”
“I guess.” I swallow. “I just don’t think I can do this. He asked me to marry him, Dan, but how can I do that when I’ll be terrified every day that something like this will happen again and he’ll leave me?”
I back away and wipe at my cheeks.
“Willa—”
“I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I can’t help it. I would rather end things on my terms than have him ripped out of my life.”
“You listen to me, little girl,” he says firmly, catching my attention. “I’ve never known you to be a selfish coward.”
I flinch at the words.
“If you love him and you want to be with him, you march back in there, and you stick with him. Through this and any other hard times that come along. Because I promise you, there will be hard times.”
“He could die.”
“We all could,” he says. “Or he could live to be a hundred and four. Do you want to miss out on all of those good years? Whether it’s two days or into your nineties, you love him. That’s how it works. You don’t get to run away.”
I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath.
“No one except for Jenna and Brad knows that he asked me to marry him.”
“I’m happy for you,” Dan says kindly. “You’re good for each other. He’s great with Alex.”
“But Cary?—”
“Is gone,” he says. “As much as I wish I could change it, Cary is gone, my dear. You have to live your life.”
“You and Jean have both said that to me.” I sigh again. “I just wish I could shake the guilt.”
“You have to,” he replies. “Or it will fester and steal your joy. Don’t let it do that. Are you going to be okay here? Do you need anything?”
“No.” I glance inside the door to find Max still sleeping. “I’m okay.”
“Just call if there’s anything I can do.”
With another hug, Dan leaves, and I return to Max’s side. I’m not a coward. And I’m not selfish.
I’m scared.
With Max’s hand in mine, I lean on the bed, just to rest for a few minutes.
“It wasn’t his fault,” Cary says. He’s sitting across from me in my living room, but it’s not my living room. It’s the way it used to be when Cary and I were first married.
“Whose?”
“Max’s. It wasn’t his fault today, and it wasn’t his fault back when I died.”
I frown, and everything comes back to me. The funeral. The flowers. Max. Alex. Jenna’s dress, and Brad telling me that Max was hurt.
All of it.
“I’ve been angry with you,” I admit, watching his face, soaking him in. He’s still twenty-three, and handsome. So young.
“I know. I was stupid that day, Wills. I shouldn’t have skied that run, but I was showboating, showing off for Max because he’d been gone so long, and I was trying to show him that I was cool. I got the girl, I was having a baby, and I was still cool.”
“You hurt him. Hurt us.”
“I was a selfish idiot,” he replies with a grin. “And I paid for it.”
“We all paid for it.”
I want to slap him. And I want to hug him. So, I do. I walk to him and climb onto his lap, hugging him close. But it feels so foreign, from a time long ago.
“Doesn’t fit anymore,” he says as I pull back. “And it shouldn’t.”
“I carry a lot of guilt,” I admit. “I know you’re gone, and your dad is right, I need to move on. I deserve that. But ? —”
“No buts,” he interrupts. “And stop it with the guilt, Wills. You haven’t done anything wrong. Do you want my blessing?”
I shrug.
“Well, you have it. Max is my best friend, and if he’s the one for you, I want you to be with him. Live your life, Wills. Enjoy it.”
“Alex loves him, too.”
Cary grins. “That kid is a firecracker.”
“He’s got so much of you in him.”
“Just don’t let him forget me,” he says and looks to his left as if someone just walked up.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s nothing,” he says. “I want you and Alex to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You’re doing a great job at the mom thing, just like I knew you would.”
“You would have been a good dad.”
“Maybe,” he says with a nod. “But you know who I know is going to be an awesome dad? Max.”
“Yeah.” I nod, thinking about the man who’s gone above and beyond to make sure that Alex and I are safe, taken care of, and loved. “Yeah, he’s going to be a great father. If the mountain doesn’t kill him.”
“The mountain didn’t kill me ,” he stresses. “I did that myself by being dumb. And today, Max was just standing at the bottom of a run, minding his own business. Some stupid tourist who didn’t know what they were doing ran smack into him, knocking him out cold.”
“You saw that?”
“I see a lot.”
I stare at him, mortified that he might see Max and me when we ? —
“No,” he says with a laugh. “I don’t see that.”
“Well, thank goodness. Am I going to see you again?”
“Someday,” he replies and leans over to kiss my cheek. “But not for a long time. Go enjoy your life, Wills. Marry Max, have more babies. Just don’t forget me.”
“Never.”