Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Paisley
I t had been over a week since I had decided to throw caution to the wind and sleep with my ex-husband. That meant it had also been a week since I had spoken to anyone about it.
To say I was an idiot would be an understatement. But it wasn’t as if I could go back and fix that. Not when I couldn’t not sleep with him. There was no erasing those memories or actions. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had not only orgasmed multiple times with him, but I had also begun to feel something again.
I had loved the August from my past. The one who had cherished me for those few months into a year. The one that I had loved and given myself to. I had loved him and given him everything. And then I had hated him and had been found wanting.
Now as I sat in my office, my large windows behind me and beside me in my corner, because I was the big boss so I got the best space, I had to realize that there was nothing for me to look out upon. There was no future along that path when it came to August. We had gotten drunk, made a mistake, and there would be no consequences from that action.
We weren’t going to talk about it, and no one else would ever have to know. We would move on, and I would be the fun aunt to those little babies and any other babies that came to the family. Maybe I would move on one day—never getting married, of course. I would not be getting married three times in my life, thank you very much. But I could find a charming gentleman caller who I could spend evenings with and travel with, and then go home alone so that way I didn’t have to share my space with anyone who didn’t respect me or didn’t know or understand the future that I wanted.
It sounded like a perfect middle ground.
Because it wouldn’t be with Jacob or August. Or anyone else who made me feel like I wasn’t good enough.
I nearly snapped the pen in half, popping off the lid, and realized that perhaps I was a little more wound up than I had previously thought.
“Knock, knock.”
I looked up at the sound of Addison’s voice, relieved that I didn’t have to wallow further in my own self-pity and memories. Instead I focused on my two best friends as they walked inside, notebooks in hand. Two more staff members came with them, and I raised a brow.
“Was I missing a meeting?”
“Oh no,” Addison said, as she handed over a file, and Devney did the same. I took them from her, and nodded at Sarah and Courtney, two other senior staff.
“So no meeting, you just all decided to come at once?”
Courtney laughed and handed over another file, while Sarah did the same.
“No, we were just all on our way to you with things that you needed, and we decided to all step in at the same time rather than taking turns,” Devney said, slightly blushing. “Plus you weren’t on the phone, and your assistant said you didn’t have any more meetings tonight. Just admin work. So we’re here to add more to your plate.”
“You love us,” Addison said, and everyone laughed, including me.
“I do. But now I’m going to be working late into the night. Thank you.”
“I’m sorry,” Courtney said as she moved forward with her hand reaching out. “I can take that back and you can work on it another day.” I put my hand over the stack of files and shook my head. “No, I can handle it and I promise I won’t be here too late. Were these each of the files that we had already been discussing?” I asked, looking at all of them.
Everyone but Addison nodded, and I raised a brow at her.
“This is the file that I was going to turn in next week, but I got things done early. Apparently even I can work on vacation,” she replied.
I rolled my eyes as the others laughed. “You say that as if it’s a surprise that you worked at all. Though I’m not quite sure how that happened.”
“There was a day by the pool. I can’t help it. The paperwork was just right there and it was calling to me.”
“You’re an addict,” Devney put in.
Courtney and Sarah waved, and I nodded in acknowledgment as they said their goodbyes, heading back to work, and then I was left alone with my two best friends.
“Well, you aren’t the only one that worked on vacation, so thank you for getting this to me early, but you are going to the bottom of the pile.”
“No worries. I could have waited, but I figured if you had time, you could fit it into your schedule. I have a thousand other things to do, because spreadsheets don’t wait for the weary.”
“I feel like you need that on a mug.”
“I do love spreadsheets. They make me whole.”
“Not your husband or child?” I asked dryly.
“Oh, they do too,” Addison said with a wave of her hand. “But spreadsheets? They are what truly give me purpose in life.”
She sounded so serious for a moment I was worried that she meant it, before she burst out laughing, and I rolled my eyes toward Devney.
“She’s ridiculous.”
“Yes, but she’s our ridiculous friend.”
“Anyway, thank you for the paperwork.” I didn’t say it too dryly, but Devney just grinned.
“I do love the fact that we get our work done, and it just makes more work for you. But that’s why I’m in PR. I just clean up messes, while you organize things.” She paused. “Actually, that might be the other way round.”
“I really don’t mind. I like files.” I hesitated for a moment. “Okay, that made me sound like I have no life, but maybe that’s true.”
I shook my head, as Devney cringed.
“You have a life. With us. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to deal with us for the rest of your life.”
“That is very true.”
I smiled at my friends, feeling a little guilty that I hadn’t told them about August. I was such an idiot. But I should have. I should have told them that I had slept with their brother-in-law and would never speak to him about it again. They already knew about the fact that I had spent the night at his house when I had gotten too drunk. They had yelled at me for that, and I didn’t blame them. Mostly because I hadn’t called them for help, wanting to handle things on my own. But I was good at taking care of myself. At least that’s what I thought.
Addison opened her mouth to say something, but before she could continue, my mother walked in.
Dread settled in my gut, and I stood up, grateful I was wearing my stilettos so I could look as if I were statuesque, a pillar of strength, porcelain that would not shatter.
“Paisley, I have a plan. Get these two out of here. We need to save your marriage. I will not be the laughingstock of society because you can’t keep a man.”
Embarrassment crawled over me, as Addison glowered at my mother, and Devney looked to me as if she wanted to help but wasn’t sure how.
Well same here, I didn’t know how to fix this either.
“Mother, this is my place of business. You need to go.”
“I will not. I will not let you ruin your life like this. I have a plan to get you back with Jacob, and all of this will be brushed under the rug. You won’t need to work at this little job of yours, and deal with these people.” She snarled the word people as she looked between Addison and Devney, and I was done. So done with this woman.
I walked around my desk, my stilettos tapping against the marble floors.
“You need to get out of here right now.”
“Don’t you dare talk to me this way.”
“Do not embarrass me at my place of business. I own this place. I am the law here. And I will call security to have you escorted out of here. And those women that you just snarled at? They are not only brilliant women who have high positions in this company and make it work, they are my friends. They deserve to be here, you do not.”
“I gave up everything to get you where you are, and this is how you show how grateful you are? You are a spoiled brat and you do not deserve anything that you have. But no matter how many sacrifices I made, I will continue to make them so you can keep your husband.”
“He’s not my husband. And frankly, you never gave me anything but pain and heartache. Now you will lower your voice before the rest of the building hears you. Or you can continue to scream, and I will have security escort you out and the papers will hear about your little tantrum. Is that what you want, Mother?”
“You are a selfish bitch.”
She reached out to slap me again, but instead I took a step back and shook my head. “Not again. Never again. Addison, can you hand me my phone? I left it on the desk. I’m going to need to call Jonathan.” Jonathan was the head of security and would have my mother out of here in a wink—something I should have done long ago.
“With pleasure.”
“You selfish brat. But don’t worry, I will fix this.”
“There’s nothing to fix. Stop acting as if you’re in some melodrama. None of this is your business, and the marriage is over. We’re divorced. Now, this is my place of business. We are helping people. I’m not going to help you do whatever selfish thing you want.”
People were starting to notice now, and I could feel heat rising up my neck.
“Go. Or I will be the one who makes a scene.”
My mother studied my face for a moment before she shook her head, clucking her tongue, and walked away with her chin held high as if it was her decision.
I closed the door behind her, needing a moment. My hands shook, my chest squeezing.
“Oh, Paisley. I’m so sorry.” Devney reached out and put her hand on my back, and I let out a shuddering breath.
Addison let out a mutter of curses, before coming to my side as well. She wrapped her arm around my waist and then let out a breath.
“I’m sorry that you had to see that. It’s nothing new. She liked my station with Jacob because it allowed her to be at a higher place in society as well. She got to meet the governor.” I rolled my eyes, before I moved away from my friend and went over to my sideboard to pour myself some water.
“Thirsty?”
“We’re fine,” Devney whispered behind me. “Is she always like that?”
I took a sip of water, letting myself calm down. “Yes. Has been since I was a child. She hated August. Hated the fact that he was just a schoolteacher. In her eyes, he was a nobody. She didn’t see the fact that he worked his ass off and his kids loved him. So she was grateful when that marriage ended. But with Jacob? All of her well-laid plans burst into flames when he chose Lydia over me.”
“Your mother’s a bitch,” Addison said, and I burst out laughing.
“She is. And it’s taken me forever to learn how to stand up for myself to her.” I looked at my friends, shaking my head. “I can stand up to any businessperson. I stood up to Jacob. I can take care of myself and the people in my employ. But my mother walks in, and suddenly I’m a teenager again, hunching my shoulders and scared of what she could possibly say. I’ve continuously been a disappointment to her, even with everything that I’ve done, and it’s never going to be enough for her. I should just be used to it, but I don’t know, something about the way that she looks down at me, even though I’m taller than her, gets to me and I’m suddenly a child again.”
“She’s so wrong about you. You should be proud of all that you’ve done. And Jacob was never worthy of you. He was always a jerk.”
I narrowed my gaze at Devney. “And yet no one told me that.”
“Because he hid it well, and we thought you loved him. Next guy you date, we’ll tell you if he’s an asshole or not,” Addison said, but both of my friends’ eyes were watery.
I finished my water and let out a long sigh. “I have to get back to work. But I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
“I’m sorry it seems that you’ve dealt with that often alone,” Devney whispered.
“What she said,” Addison agreed.
I nodded tightly, and then watched them walk away, leaving me alone with my paperwork.
My paperwork never lied to me—most of it was just numbers and signatures. I could handle that, go over it with a fine-tooth comb, and then head home alone where I needed to be.
I didn’t know exactly what plans my mother had, and I had a bad feeling about some of them. But I would figure them out. I would always figure it out.
I went back to work, and as the sun began to set, I kept the shades open, so that way the world could see the light on in my office and know that I was still up here. Working, never going home.
Others left, and my security team was still around, though they weren’t watching me like a hawk. Instead they kept the building safe, and I would have to go home soon so that way they could get off work. It would be selfish to continue to stay here when they had lives.
I packed up the rest of my files; I knew I would go home and take care of it, maybe pour a glass of wine, maybe take that bath I hadn’t gotten to before. And I would continue to just exist.
“Paisley.”
I looked up at the sharp tone, my hands balling into fists.
“What are you doing here, Jacob?” I asked, wondering why today felt like I had been thrown into another vat of hell. First my mother, now my ex-husband? Why did this feel like a trap?
“You didn’t sign the non-disclosure. I need you to do that.”
I raised a brow, wondering what size balls this man thought he had. “No, I’m not going to sign anything. We’ve already done everything over the divorce, the settlement is done. I’m not signing your silly little non-disclosure.”
“You will. You are no longer my wife, and you will sign it outside of the umbrella.”
The umbrella, AKA, the family. You know, whatever protected them from the onslaught of truths and deniers.
“No, I’m not going to sign anything. And I’m not going to get sued by you if you think that I’ve spilled some form of rumor about you. Because, Jacob darling, once news of your tiny dick gets out there and the lovely cheating scandals, you’re going to want a fall guy. And it’s not going to be me. You don’t get to sue me because you cheated on me.”
Jacob was in front of me in an instant, caging me around my desk.
I had never seen him move that quickly. Usually he was smooth grace, and fluid. But just then and there, the jerky actions nearly took my breath away. He caught me between his arms on the desk, and I swallowed hard, staring up into his face.
“Say that again to my face, Paisley. You were such a frigid bitch when I was with you it took forever to thaw you out, and you were never a good lay. Why do you think I was with Lydia? Oh, it doesn’t matter what you think, it only matters what the press says. And while you would love to think my family controls the press, you know that isn’t the case. We have our ways to make our mark—to keep our legacy , and this is one of them. So you’re going to sign this non-disclosure, and you’re going to do what I say, or I’m going to make life hell for you.”
“Try it,” I snapped, yet I knew I was only playing with fire. Because I had never truly felt safe with Jacob, not that first night, not any night since. But right here and now, I knew I was alone in the office, and I didn’t know where my security was.
“Bitch,” Jacob snapped, leaning forward.
I stepped back, but he was fast, lunging toward me, arms outstretched. He gripped my upper arm, his fingers digging into my skin, and I pulled way. Only he was stronger than I remembered and while I tried to think beyond the heartbeat rattling in my ears, I shoved at him.
As Jacob moved me closer to my desk, trying to push me down along the hard wood, I kicked and ignored the panic in my veins.
Then he was being pulled off of me, and I was trying to catch my breath.
August was there, shaking out his fists, after a loud smack hit my ears. Jacob howled, covering his nose, and August glowered at the man.
“Touch her again, and I’ll kill you.”
“Fuck you.”
“Oh, that’s brilliant. Lovely retort. Why don’t you get your little Prada suit and bloody nose out of this office before I call security.”
“I’m the one that’s going to call security, you asshole. Do you know who I am?” Jacob snarled.
Seriously? That’s what he went with. I could have laughed at the farce, but with the blood in August’s eyes, and the temper in Jacob’s, I moved between them, my hands shaking for an instant before I forced myself to steady.
“Stop it. Both of you. Just go, Jacob. We have nothing to discuss. And if you dare sue or threaten August in any way, remember, Jacob, there are reasons you want me to sign a non-disclosure.” I narrowed my gaze at him, as he just glowered. “I know things, Jacob. You want to be powerful? You want the next step in your career that you feel like you were owed? Remember that you are not an innocent party here. If you touch him in any way, I will make it worse for you. I don’t need to lay a hand on you to do it.”
“This isn’t over,” Jacob growled, but he turned on his heel anyway, leaving me alone in the office with August.
It had been so stupid to threaten Jacob. Because I could be all talk in that instance, but Jacob could hurt me a lot more than I could hurt him in some ways. Because he had his family, and I only had my dear old mother.
“What the hell, Paisley? How dare you put yourself in the middle of that, where you could have gotten hurt!”
I spun on him, mouth gaping. “I cannot believe you just did that.”
My ex-husband just stared at me, confusion etched on his face, and I had to wonder why anyone kept coming here—they were always either threatening me or trying to protect me.
I had been doing just fine on my own for so long, I didn’t need them now.
And yet here August was, my memory, my past, and a man that would never be my future.
And all I wanted to do was scream.