Chapter Twenty-Six
Roberta felt as if she was caught up in a whirlwind, spinning endlessly from one task to the next.
And in between, she was wondering if this was a dream.
She was marrying the man she loved, but not only that.
This was not a one-sided marriage. Niki might not have said he loved her, but he had said he needed her and that she was essential to him.
I cannot think of anyone else I would want by my side.
He was willing to stand up against his chamberlain and the others who did not want him to marry her.
Roberta wasn’t entirely sure this was comforting.
Oh, it was very nice, but when she remembered how little she knew about being a princess, and how likely she was to embarrass herself… No wonder she was rattled.
She and Antonia had left for Grantham the day after Niki’s visit, and now she would not see him until the wedding.
That was both a good and bad thing. She thought that him being close by might help to soothe her nerves, but then again, him not being close meant she had a chance to try to gather her thoughts without that distraction.
Besides, a “small” and “intimate” wedding did not mean there were not an infinite number of things to do before the day arrived.
And she also needed to be prepared to journey to Holtswig, and there was so much to organize for that.
Her wardrobe for instance. A princess needed a much larger wardrobe than her current collection of clothing and accessories.
She was prepared to be frugal, but even so, how would they pay for them?
Gabriel sat her down and reassured her. “Our grandmother tells me she has a nest egg she is going to use for that.”
“You mean she is selling some of her jewelry?” Roberta wailed.
“It is hers to sell,” he reminded her. “And she is deliriously happy about the wedding; you know that.”
“Yes,” Roberta said. “I’m glad I’ve made her happy.”
Gabriel watched her, deep in thought, until she began to fidget.
“I noticed the last time the prince stayed at Grantham that you seemed very close. I thought then that perhaps your bogus engagement might have taken an authentic turn. From what Freddie tells me, I am assuming you are entering this marriage of your own free will.”
“He is the only man I have ever felt like this about,” she said gravely.
“You are still young,” Gabriel retorted with a grin. “You are hardly a font of experience. I just don’t want you to make a mistake like I almost did.”
Roberta smiled back. They all loved Gabriel’s wife and were so glad he had rejected their grandmother’s choice for a suitable partner and eloped with Vivienne instead.
“I promise you I am not. I am freely choosing to marry Niki, and he wants to marry me. We get along very well. I can be a support to him, and he has promised I will not have to appear at any social engagements I don’t want to.
He even said I can help to make Holtswig more—more lighthearted. ”
He hadn’t exactly said that, but that was what he had meant.
“Hmm, I hope he’s right. As long as you are sure, Robbie.”
“I want to do this. Truly, Gabriel. You don’t have to worry.”
“It will be an adventure,” he said. “You always wanted your life to be an adventure. Just think how dull we will be here without you!”
Soon there was no more time for tête-à-têtes. The family had come together at Grantham—Roberta’s siblings and their spouses and children, and her grandmother, who was looking a little more frail but beaming with joy that finally one of her granddaughters had lived up to her expectations.
“I remember when I met Niki’s grandfather,” she mused. “So handsome, so dashing. Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I had run off with him as he wished. But then I think of my son and my grandchildren, and I know I made the right choice.”
Roberta’s sisters exchanged a glance. Their grandmother had arrived to help them when they needed her most, and despite her desire for discipline and a stated wish to make the Ashton family as celebrated as it had once been—something they had undoubtedly failed at—they loved her dearly.
“A princess,” her grandmother sighed now, closing her eyes in ecstasy. A moment later she was asleep, snoring softly, and they crept from the room.
“A princess,” Olivia echoed with a laugh. “You, Robbie. I hope you will not send Holtswig into a spin. Please, no cartwheels in the royal castle.”
That was exactly what Roberta was afraid of, but she pretended to find it funny. “That was only once,” she couldn’t help reminding Olivia.
Antonia took her hand in a warm clasp. “Robbie will be an amazing princess,” she said fiercely. “She is exactly what Holtswig needs. Everyone will love her. Just you wait and see.”
Olivia seemed unconvinced, but Roberta was grateful for Antonia’s support.
She had become an important part of Roberta’s life—wise beyond her years—and she would miss her company and her advice.
Unless…Could she ask for her to come to Holtswig with her?
Surely a princess was allowed a retinue.
But would Antonia want to come? It was something else to think about in those few moments when she found peace and quiet to do so.
She had escaped to one of the sitting rooms, away from the baby wailing, and the children shrieking and running, and her sisters’ loud voices, and was making yet another list of what she needed to take with her to Holtswig.
When the door opened, she almost groaned aloud, thinking it was yet another sisterly interruption.
Instead, her grandmother entered, carrying a vast bundle of cloth almost as big as she was. Roberta jumped up to help her.
“This was my wedding dress,” the old woman puffed as she was relieved of her burden. She flopped down into the nearest chair. “I thought perhaps it might be useful to you. You can use the cloth and remake it into a more fashionable style.”
“Oh, Grandmama!” Roberta was moved almost beyond words. “I cannot cut up your wedding dress.”
The dowager waved a hand. “Nonsense, of course you can, Roberta. Not now, of course, there isn’t time, but I thought in Holtswig there would be seamstresses to help you. I fear I am too old to accompany you there, but if you are wearing something of mine, then I will feel as if I am with you.”
“Thank you,” Roberta said, the words heartfelt. “I will be thinking of you, you know I will. I will be thinking of all of you.” Tears blurred her vision, and she might have said more, but her grandmother hushed her.
“Yes, you will miss us, just as we will miss you, but whoever you married, it would mean beginning a new life away from Grantham. And you can visit. But my advice is not to look back too often. Look forward and work hard to make the sort of happy life you want.”
Roberta leaned in to hug her grandmother, feeling how thin she had become and breathing in the familiar scents of her soap and perfume.
She had never thought there would be a day when she would not be there, but she did now, and it was painful.
But no matter how much she would miss everyone, the dowager was right.
She must look to the future, her future with Niki, and make a new life in her new country.
An adventure, Gabriel had said, and he was right. She was about to embark on an exciting adventure, just as she had always hoped she would. And the best part of it was…Niki, the man she loved, would be by her side.
“Will you be leaving straight away?”
Antonia was watching her, picking at a thread in the cushion on the settee.
Roberta looked up from the letter she was writing to Estelle. Her friend had sent her a message, congratulating her while bemoaning the fact she would not be at her wedding. Though she was ecstatic about the money Niki had sent her and was already planning for her time ahead.
“Very soon afterward. Countess Matilda and her family are traveling ahead to make the preparations for our arrival. And the wedding.”
Antonia nodded, but she looked pensive.
Roberta took a chance. “Will you…would you think of coming with me, Antonia? I know you may not want to—and that’s perfectly all right, I will understand—but if you did come, I would be so grateful.”
It was only when she stopped that she realized Antonia was smiling radiantly. “Yes, yes, and yes!” her sister cried. “I was hoping, but I didn’t want to presume. Yes, please, I want to come.”
“You do not have to stay,” Roberta said earnestly. “You might hate it and miss England. But just to have you there, even for a little while, would mean so much to me.”
Antonia laughed. “Don’t worry, it will be wonderful.
I have been reading so much about Holtswig and its history, and it is all so interesting.
I know I will be busy, and I plan to be by your side whenever you need me, but there are old parts of the castle I must explore.
Did you know…” And she was off, bubbling over with excitement and information.
Roberta pretended to listen, just happy that the sister she had grown to love and depend on would be at her side at the beginning of her new life.