11. Michael
CHAPTER 11
Idrop down and sweep my leg out, knocking Elijah to the ground. But he doesn’t stay down long. He flips up, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he does, then swings.
His fist makes contact with the side of my face, and I fall back, pain shooting through my head as the rope surrounding the ring scrapes against my back. I lean against it, sucking in a ragged breath as I spit out my mouth guard.
He does the same. “You could have dodged that last hit,” he tells me as he makes his way over to his water bottle.
“You’re fast.” But we both know he’s right. I’m distracted. Head not in the fight because right now, Jaxson is protecting Reyna instead of me.
He’s following her into the school, standing by as she preps for the next school year. It’s been a week since she hired us. Seven full days of sitting on the sidelines, when I want to be front and center. And yesterday, after seeing the terror on her face as everyone around her was threatened—I’m desperate to do something. Anything.
“I am fast. But not that fast.” He climbs through the ropes and drops down off the side of the ring.
Since it’s still two hours from officially opening for the day, the gym I started after returning home is empty except for the two of us. This is when I like it the best. Quiet. Controlled.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask him.
“I want you to admit what you’re feeling.”
“What’s that?”
“Anger. Probably some pain.”
“Pain.” I snort. “My relationship with Reyna ended a long time ago.”
“Doesn’t mean you’ve moved on.”
“She certainly has.” I think of Liam. Of the fact that Jaxson told me it was him who brought her those roses yesterday. I nearly scoff. She prefers tulips. Always has.
Will he ever know that?
Will he ever know that she likes a dash of cinnamon in her coffee?
Or how she hates wearing matching socks?
Honestly, he probably will. And I bet he never would’ve let his father chase him out of town when he had the love of a woman like Reyna.
Reyna.
Her bruises have begun to fade, though they’re currently in the stage of being a nasty yellow. Every time I see them, it makes me even angrier that I hadn’t been able to run her attacker down with my truck.
Would I have felt bad about it?
Probably not.
“You’re more pent-up than I’ve ever seen you,” Elijah comments. “Honestly, it’s refreshing to not be the grumpy one of the group anymore.”
I glare at him. “You’re happy and in love. Congratulations. Great for you.”
Elijah laughs. “You sound so happy for me. Thrilled, even.” He pushes to his feet. “I thought you should know the sheriff called at the end of my shift this morning. He said that they found an abandoned car a few miles out of town. It had been wiped clean of prints and reported stolen two weeks before.”
“From where?”
“Boston,” he says. “They’re having it towed to the station as we speak.”
“Boston. So whoever was after her is from Boston?”
“It’s a big city,” Elijah says. “It’s entirely possible whoever came here wasn’t even targeting her specifically. But rather looking for a type.”
His words make me nauseous. “Serial killer?”
“I don’t know,” Elijah replies. “But it would be foolish not to consider every possibility. And the way he’s toying with her—it has all the markings of a cat and mouse game.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I demand, interrupting. If it’s a serial killer we’re dealing with, things will be a lot more complicated. He’ll be harder to track, and there’s no telling if he’ll move on to someone else before we manage to catch him.
“You would have been even more distracted,” Elijah says. “Besides, there wasn’t much you could do until now.” He stands. “I’m headed back to my apartment to shower and change. See you in an hour at the diner?”
“Yeah. I’ll be there.” I push up from my chair and head down the hall toward my apartment at the back of the gym. When I’d purchased this place, it had been the shell of an old vehicle sales lot run by Mr. Whitaker, a grumpy old man who never let a deal slip through his fingers. Including my offer to buy him out after I’d returned home.
I’ve never seen a man grab at three hundred thousand dollars so fast.
It was the only place big enough for my gym, and since I invested every penny I had into it, I’d needed somewhere I could live too. Thankfully, the gym does well enough that I’ve made back everything I invested and then some. Which made it possible for me to help my sister when her husband left her.
Pushing through the door into my apartment, I strip out of my clothes and step directly into the shower, not turning it on until I’m beneath the spray. Cold water hits me, and I remain where I am, letting it run down my sore body.
I’ve been in the gym every day over the past week.
When I’m not working or with Margot and Matthew or my parents, I’m in the ring or in front of a bag, letting my anger out on whatever willing participant just so happens to be in front of me. It’s been years since I felt this helpless. This lost.
This angry.
As soon as I’ve finished washing, I step out and dress quickly, then drop some flakes into my fish tank before grabbing my wallet, phone, and keys, and heading out of my apartment and into the employee area.
“Morning, boss,” Jennifer, one of the trainers I hired last year, offers me a wave as she sets her stuff in her locker.
“Morning. You have a full schedule today?”
She falls into step beside me, walking out into the main room of the gym. “Yeah. Picked up a couple new self-defense clients. I think you might actually know the first one that’s coming in.”
As soon as she says it, the door opens, and Jaxson walks in, Reyna right behind him. She stops in place. “Reyna?”
“Yeah. She booked with me yesterday.”
“Great.” So now she’s going to be in my gym, too. Protected by my security company, yet I can’t be the one at her side. Here in the gym I own, but I can’t be the one to train her. Does she enjoy tormenting me?
“Is that okay?”
“Fine. I’m headed out for the day. Call if anything pops up.”
“You know I will.” She offers me a final wave before crossing over toward where Reyna sits in the waiting area.
“You good with this?” Jaxson asks, stepping out front with me.
“Fine with it.”
He crosses his arms. “She asked if I could teach her some self-defense, and I told her she should talk to you.”
“I appreciate that, but she won’t come to me for anything. Not anymore.”
“No, I got that when she refused. I did manage to convince her to give Jennifer a try,” Jaxson says.
“You could have taught her,” I tell him. Honestly, the former Marine can handle himself better than most. He would’ve been a great trainer.
“No, I couldn’t.”
“If she were anyone else, would you have?”
“Sure. But she’s not anyone else, is she?”
I watch through the window as Reyna, wearing leggings and a blue T-shirt, climbs into the ring with Jennifer. “No,” I admit. “She’s not.”
“You’re here a few days early,” Pastor Redding comments as he crosses over and shakes my hand. “Sunday isn’t for another two days.”
Standing in the church feels heavier today, as though my faith is being crushed by misplaced anger.
“Better early than not at all,” I reply.
He laughs. “Fair enough. How are you doing, Michael? How’s your mom?”
“She’s good.” I pull out a pack of gum and pop a piece into my mouth.
“And you?”
“That’s a bit more complicated, I suppose.”
“Ahh, isn’t it always?” He gestures to the front pew, so I follow him over and take a seat beside him. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
Pastor Redding has been a friend of my family since before I was born. He grew up playing baseball with my dad, and even went on a date with my mom when they’d been in high school. Of course, they realized quickly they were better off friends, and my mom ended up introducing him to his now-wife. Confiding in him is as easy as breathing, yet I still choke on the words. “I’m angry.”
“At who?”
“Myself. God.”
“Care to elaborate?”
I shake my head and bounce my left leg, my need to be on the move stifling. “I left Reyna. I made my choice. And I’ve been kicking myself ever since.”
“You were young, Michael.”
“I was foolish.”
“Tell me, what was your reason for leaving?”
I stare down at my hands, unsure how to even put this into words he’ll understand. “My dad told me that I needed to go pro. That I had a gift and I should use it to better my life. He told me that marrying Reyna right then would be a mistake. That I was throwing away a life better than the one he had.”
The pastor is quiet as I talk, processing everything I’m saying.
“I suppose I left because I thought he was right.”
“Yet you didn’t play football.”
“I never wanted to play,” I tell him. “I was content working at the shop with Henry. I was happy with Reyna.”
“You ran from your father.”
“Which is stupid, I suppose. I know that now. But it felt so suffocating back then. Like by marrying Reyna, I would be proving him right. But I had no interest in playing professional ball.”
“Oftentimes our parents don’t realize that they’re trying to force us down a path we don’t feel called to take. Did you feel called to the service?”
I sigh. “Honestly? I’m not sure. I got scared, and it was the fastest way out of town.”
“Do you regret the time you served?”
I consider his question. “No. I regret leaving Reyna behind, walking away without saying goodbye, but I’m proud of the time I spent in the service. Of the men I served with.”
“How has your father been since you’ve been home?”
“Distant. But that’s not unusual given everything he’s dealing with. He told me he was glad I didn’t die, which for him these days is a declaration of affection.”
The pastor chuckles. “Your father has never been great with words.”
“Understatement.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes, both of us staring straight ahead. “You said you were angry with God.”
“Reyna could have died in that parking lot. Or been taken and suffered horribly.” Just saying it brings a fresh wave of anger rushing through me.
“But you saved her.”
“And had I been even a minute later, she wouldn’t be here. It doesn’t make sense. Reyna does more for this community than nearly anyone else. She helps, volunteers, works at the school. Why her?”
“Why would anyone suffer such a fate?” Pastor Redding asks.
“Exactly. It’s just—I’ve seen horrible things happen,” I tell him. “And Reyna—she deserves better.”
The pastor sighs and nods in understanding. “All I can tell you is that sometimes horrible things happen and there seems to be no explanation for it. But God uses our pain, or distress, to bring us closer to Him. You’ve spent your adult life punishing yourself for walking away from the girl you loved. For all intents and purposes, you shouldn’t have been driving by that school at the exact time she needed you, yet you were.”
“One minute later,” I say again, fear at the mere idea of something happening to Reyna clawing at my throat.
“You weren’t one minute later,” he says softly. “You arrived right on time because God led you to her in her time of need.”
“She never should have been in danger to begin with.”
“People do bad things because people are sinful, Michael. There is no escape from that in this world. But turning away from Him in your time of pain is only going to bring you more agony in the end."
"And my anger? How do I handle that? Because I’ve been struggling with the desire to hunt and kill the man responsible for her pain.”
The pastor doesn’t look the least bit fazed by my confession. “‘Do not take revenge,my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’says the Lord.On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.’”
“Romans,” I comment. “It’s one I’ve turned to more than once since she was attacked. But I can tell you now, I’m not near strong enough to offer her attacker something to drink.”
Pastor Redding chuckles. “You’re a good man, Michael Anderson. Being angry does not change that. And if anyone can overcome the evil she suffered with good, it’s you. You just won’t be able to do it alone.” He points toward the ceiling. “Ask for help. For guidance.”
I stare at the cross directly in front of me. Suffering is a part of life. That’s something I came to terms with a long time ago. And the truth is, I did get to the school in time to save Reyna. But what if I’m not where I need to be the next time something happens?
What if—next time—I’m too late?