12. Reyna
CHAPTER 12
Iprep another cup of coffee, then head into the bedroom I turned into an office. After taking a seat, I glance out the window at the late afternoon sky. It’s a truly beautiful day, with the sun shining brightly. My gaze drops to Jaxson’s car. He’s seated inside, reading a book. Right there if I need him, but far enough away that I don’t feel smothered.
Thankfully. I’ve certainly been feeling boxed in lately.
My cell rings and I check the readout. Ever since that call at the school, I’ve been careful not to answer any numbers I don’t recognize, so when I see Emily Reed flashing on the screen, I breathe a sigh of relief. “Hey, Em,” I greet. A social worker out of Boston, she’s who I coordinate with for most of my volunteer work.
“Hey, girl! How’s it going?” Per usual, her voice is pure sunshine. The woman is a constant ray of light in this world, always there for everyone who needs her. Which is why I don’t want to burden her with what’s happening with me. Her focus needs to be on the women and children she’s dedicated her life to helping, not on me.
I glance again at the bodyguard outside my window. “That’s a question that would require far more effort than I can currently give.”
She laughs. “I hear that. So listen, I just heard that Pauline is not going to make it to the banquet this year.”
Oh no, the banquet. With everything going on, I’d completely forgotten it was coming up. How did I forget? “Why can’t she make it?” Pauline Rivers is the in-person organizer for the entire event. She works directly with the caterers, the band, the decorators—all of them. I put the event together and handle the logistics, and Emily coordinates the donations and handles the legal side of things, but without Pauline, the actual setup won’t happen. Not unless I make it out there early to take over for her.
“Well, she just found out she’s pregnant.” She laughs. “And is currently dealing with morning sickness that could take down a horse.”
“Oh no. I’m sorry to hear that. Exciting about the pregnancy, but the sickness sounds awful.”
Emily laughs. “She was not looking so great when I went to pick up the event binder from her. I figured I would overnight it to you so that you can take a look at everything before the event.”
I close my eyes. Is it even possible for me to go? Is it even smart? How can I not, though? This is the largest charity event of the year in Boston. If Pauline was going to be there, she and Emily could easily manage things without me. But if she’s not going to make it…there’s no way Emily can handle everything alone, and it’s too late for me to hire someone else.
“Yeah, send it over. That would be great.”
“Awesome. I’ll get it out to you today. Are you doing okay? You sound off.”
“Just distracted. I had an accident in the parking lot of my school.”
“What happened?”
Since she’s likely going to see some fading bruises come event time, I figure I might as well get it over with now. “I was mugged.” I downplay the danger, hoping it’ll make it sound like it’s not a big deal.
“Mugged? Are you okay? Why didn’t you call me? What do you need?”
“Nothing, I’m fine. Just some scrapes and bruises. Someone was driving by when it happened, so he swept in and saved the day.” If I mention Michael’s name, that will bring up an entirely new conversation—one that I am in no way, shape, or form ready to have.
Not now. Probably not ever.
“Are you sure you’re okay? What did they get?”
“Just my purse. And yes, I’m fine.”
“Reyna—”
“I really am,” I assure her. “I’m taking care of myself, and I ordered replacement bank cards and a new ID, so everything will be back to normal soon.” God, I hope so. Please let that be true.
“Okay. Well. If you need anything, you know I’m here.”
“I know. Thank you.”
“Anytime. All right, I will get this binder out to you—wait! Are you sure you can take this on? I can try to?—”
“Send it over, Em,” I tell her with a laugh. “You have enough on your plate.”
“Always happy to hold more if I need to. But I am grateful you’re taking this on. I’ll get it out today so you should have it sometime tomorrow.”
“Perfect. Thanks.”
“Anytime. Talk soon?”
“Definitely.” I glance out the window at where Jaxson sits in his car. The banquet is a week from Friday. Which means I’ll need to be there Thursday to help get everything set up. I still don’t have a dress picked out, and normally, I’d be putting the final touches on the reminder cards by now.
Cards that I haven’t even started.
God, I need strength. Please. I cannot do this without You.
After setting my phone aside, I get to my feet and head back into the kitchen to pour my coffee out and slip into my tennis shoes.
A walk. I need some fresh air, and a quick break. Then, I can come back and focus.
Besides, I may need constant supervision, but does that mean I have to stay inside all the time?
A run on the beach works wonders for my clouded mind. The fresh air, the sound of the waves crashing into shore, the feel of sun-kissed sand beneath my toes…when I ground myself into the reality of this beautiful world God created, I’m able to find my center again.
My anxiety slips away, tucked back into the corners of my mind, and I can finally focus. Out here, the world doesn’t seem so scary. There is no man after me, no gorgeous ex-fiancé to captivate my every waking moment, and no banquet that I normally look forward to and somehow completely forgot.
Wind tugs at my hair, sending the strands dancing around my face. This is my happy place. And everything will be fine.
“I thought that was you.”
Turning to look over my shoulder, I smile as Kyra, Pastor Redding’s wife, who makes her way down to the oceanside, her feet bare. “Hey, Mrs. Redding, how are you?”
“Doing lovely. It’s my day off, and I got to spend it with my gorgeous grandbaby. Kassandra just picked him up.”
“Sounds like a wonderful day.”
“It certainly was.” She wraps an arm around my shoulder and tugs me against her. I relax into the hug, enjoying the closeness of a woman who was practically a second mother to me growing up. “How are you doing?”
“I’m managing,” I reply.
“I know you better than that, Reyna Acker.”
Chuckling, I take a deep breath. “I’m afraid. Stressed. Upset. I don’t even know how to put it all into words.”
“I still cannot believe you were attacked outside of the school. This town used to be so safe, but it seems the devil has been sending loads of trouble here lately.”
“I keep telling myself that everything is going to be fine. That God has a plan for all of this and it’s going to come together in His time, but I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to survive in the meantime.”
“You keep your faith, honey. Keep your eyes on God, your Bible read, and focus only on the things you can control.”
“I’m trying.”
She’s quiet for a few moments. “How are things between you and Michael?”
“Nonexistent.” I glance over my shoulder to where Jaxson sits on the steps leading up to the lighthouse that houses the Knight Security offices. He watches everything around us, but he’s far enough away he shouldn’t be able to hear my conversation with Kyra.
“Isn’t he helping protect you?”
“Jaxson is my main guard,” I tell her. “Though Michael does have a habit of popping up here and there.”
“And how does that make you feel?”
“Are we in a therapy session right now?” I joke. Kyra was the town’s therapist for a while before she opened her bakery. Now, she counsels with sugar—or at least that’s what we tell her.
“We can be,” she replies with a light squeeze of my shoulders.
I sigh. “He’s been asking for forgiveness since he came back. I know we’re supposed to forgive others as we have been forgiven, but?—”
“It’s easier said than done,” she says.
“Exactly. I can’t forget what he did. Every time I see him, I’m reminded of the night before he left. Of the—” I close my eyes. “He’d promised me forever, and then I woke up the next morning and found out he’d left without so much as a goodbye.”
She’s the only person who knows why I’m so upset. That Michael and I went well past what we should have done as seventeen-year-olds who snuck away and pledged their forever’s. “How am I supposed to get over that?”
“I’m not sure, honey. Have you tried talking to him about it? Explaining why you were so upset, and allowing yourself to hear his reasoning?”
“He wrote me letters,” I tell her. “For the first few years, I’d get one a week. Then, it was once a month, and then they slowed to one a year—on my birthday.”
“What did they say?”
“I never read them,” I admit. “It seemed pointless to rehash a past I wanted so desperately to forget. I was ashamed of myself, of what I allowed us to do, and what that meant for my future.”
“Honey.” She pulls me in tighter and runs her hand up and down my arm. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself. You were young. In love. Sometimes, things happen.”
“I gave in when I’d always told myself I wanted to wait. But I thought he was it. I truly believed I would marry Michael Anderson. Then the next day he was gone. I felt used. Discarded.”
“I can completely understand why you would feel that way, Reyna. And you will hear no excuses for that boy from me, even though I love him like a son.” She smiles at me. “But he did love you, and I’d be willing to bet he’d grant you an explanation if only you’d ask.”
Truthfully, I know he would. He’s been begging me to listen since the moment he walked back into Hope Springs with an Army duffel and a new darkness in his eyes. Honestly, probably even before then, if the letters contain what I think they do.
But how can I guard my heart if I open it to listen and forgive?
My cell rings, so I pull it out of my pocket and check the readout.
“I’ll leave you to it. Come see me soon.” Kyra kisses my forehead, then smiles at Jaxson and heads back up the shoreline as I answer the call.
“Hey, Mom, what’s up?”
“Your mom can’t come to the phone right now,” a familiar deep voice says.
My blood turns to ice as panic claws through my insides, shredding every other thought until all I can feel is fear. “Where is she? What did you do?”
Jaxson is at my side in an instant, his firearm out as he scans the beach.
“You should have believed me when I told you I could get to everyone you love, Reyna. Now you’re going to find out exactly what I meant.”