Chapter Three
Everly
I don’t need an alarm clock these days. River surfaces at five-thirty every morning, and my body clock seems to have tuned itself in to wake me up roughly ten minutes beforehand. It’s hardly a surprise when I turn over, my eyes still a little bleary, and see the time is five-fifteen, and I let out a sigh and snuggle under the covers, making the most of my last few minutes of peace.
It’s impossible to relax of course, knowing the quiet will soon be shattered, but I do my best, wondering why I don’t make use of this time to grab a quick shower and get ahead of myself, or maybe even tidy the apartment, or put on some laundry.
“Because rest is more important,” I whisper to myself, nestling into the pillow, and knowing I’ve got my morning routine down to a fine art, which can just about be squeezed into the hour that River allows us.
As for the apartment, who cares if it’s a mess? No-one comes here.
I feel my eyes prickle with unshed tears and I turn over onto my other side, refusing to acknowledge how lonely I am.
Instead, I focus on my conversation with Laurel yesterday, smiling about her news. She’s clearly thrilled about being pregnant again, and I imagine Brady feels the same. It’s hard not to envy her that shared joy. It’s one of the things I missed out on… one of many.
Obviously, I have no way of knowing how Seth would have reacted to me telling him I was pregnant. Given the problems we were going through at the time, he might have questioned the timing, I suppose. Because there’s no denying things weren’t right between us. They hadn’t been for some time. The reason for that is debatable. He put it down to me spending too much time at work. I was more concerned about his interest in Helen Rogers. I like to think we could have put our differences aside for the sake of our baby. But then I remember the look on his face when he left, and I have to wonder…
I turn onto my back, the bed still awfully wide without him, even after all this time, and I recall the day he walked out, and the way he tried to defend himself over Helen. I’d seen them together so many times; her touching him, leaning in to him, looking up into his eyes. It was obvious something was going on. I just wanted to know what.
He said it was nothing. He told me she was just a friend, and when I questioned why she touched him the way she did, he said that was just the way she was. Then he turned it around, telling me I was being insecure. That hurt, although I have to admit, he wasn’t wrong. Aunt Clare may have loved me like a mother, ever since my parents had been killed in a car accident, but I’d never escaped that feeling of being left. That was probably because they’d left me that night… with Aunt Clare. And they’d never come back. It wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. But that feeling of being abandoned haunted me from then on, and I wondered if Seth was about to do the same… if the tension between us had become too much. The thing was, I was too scared to ask, which probably showed how insecure I really was. I was terrified he’d say ‘yes’. But then, rather than announcing his imminent departure, he told me he was unhappy. That was almost as bad as him saying he was leaving, when the reason for his misery was me. I was always working, he said, making me feel like everything was my fault, and that his flirtations with Helen had nothing to do with the situation. Maybe he was trying to say that he wouldn’t have been flirting with her if I’d been more attentive. I don’t know. I never got the chance to find out. Because that was when he gave me the ultimatum…
Him, or the coffee shop.
My aunt had only been dead for four months and not only did it feel really insensitive of him to ask me to choose, it was also impossible.
I’d lived with Aunt Clare since that night my parents had gone out, never to return. When I’d graduated high school, with no intention of going to college, she’d signed over half of the coffee shop to me. She didn’t have to do that, and it was typically generous of her that she didn’t just offer to convert my weekend job into a full-time one, but gave me half of the business that went with it… straight off the bat. I’ve always been grateful for that. What’s more, Seth knew. He knew every detail. I’d told him when we first met, and asking me to give it up was like asking me to stop breathing. I couldn’t do it.
Did I expect him to leave? No. Aside from anything else, he’d always said he wouldn’t.
But the moment he did, I longed for him to come back.
I cried for days – weeks, even – telling myself he’d realize that what we had was more important than a silly fight. He’d be back…
I certainly wasn’t going to go after him. Even if I had been ‘putting him second’, as he’d phrased it, I wasn’t the one who’d been flirting, was I? I’d never even looked at another man, and yet it seemed that every time I glanced through the window, Helen was there, flirting with Seth. And he was letting her.
I can’t think about that anymore. River will be awake any moment. That means I need to have happy thoughts in my head, and I do my best to wipe away the memories of that horrible day.
Seth is still on my mind, though. He always is, and instead of thinking about his departure, I contemplate his arrival, which brings a smile to my face as I remember that glorious afternoon, six years ago, when he walked through the door of the coffee shop and ordered a flat white.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” Aunt Clare said as she fixed his coffee.
“No,” he said, smiling at me, even though he was talking to her.
I was putting away some cups, trying not to drop any, and I felt myself blush. I’d never seen anyone so handsome in my life and was enthralled by the way his shirt fitted so tightly to his muscular chest.
I was twenty-two at the time and guessed he was about five years older, his dark blond hair slightly messed up, and his stubbled jaw very square and masculine. My mouth dried, but every other part of my body seemed to have turned to molten liquid, and I turned away, focusing on the cups, not the man. It was a struggle, but I completed my task, turning around to find he was sitting at table eight, and was staring at me.
I smiled, and he smiled back, taking a sip of his coffee.
“Why don’t you ask him if he’d like something to go with his coffee?” Aunt Clare asked, keeping her voice quite low, so no-one would overhear.
“Who?”
“Who do you think? The man who can’t take his eyes off of you.”
She smiled as she was speaking, her eyes glinting with mischief, and I shook my head.
“He’d have asked if he wanted something else.”
“Maybe he doesn’t know what’s on offer.”
I held out my hand to the display of cakes, cookies, and pastries. “You don’t think it’s obvious enough?”
“Not necessarily.”
She nudged me toward the end of the counter and then gave me a positive shove in the back, so I almost tripped over. I glared back at her, but she looked a picture of innocence and rather than turn back, I made my way over to table eight.
“I—Is everything okay?” I asked as the man looked up at me. His eyes were a deep shade of blue, and although I was trying desperately to treat him like any other customer, it was impossible when I just wanted to sit and stare at him… for the rest of my life.
“Everything’s just great, thanks.” His smile lit up my world, and I nodded my head.
“I can’t get you anything else?”
“No. But you can sit with me for a while.” He glanced around at the two other tables that were occupied. “You’re not exactly rushed off your feet.”
I hesitated, but not for very long, and then pulled out the chair and sat opposite him. “Okay, but if we get busy, I’ll have to go back to work.”
He added his head. “Sounds like a fair deal.”
I half expected there to be an awkward silence between us, but there wasn’t. He introduced himself as Seth Roberts, asking how long I’d worked at the coffee shop, and before I knew it, I’d told him about my parents’ deaths, and how Aunt Clare had taken me in when I was five. He asked questions about how it had been growing up in the town, and I told him a little about life in Hart’s Creek and that it was the only home I’d ever known.
“I can’t imagine living anywhere else.”
“What about when you went to college?” he said.
“I didn’t. I couldn’t face all those strangers.” It felt odd to have told him that, but he nodded, like he understood.
“So you came to work for your aunt?”
“I already did,” I explained. “Just on Saturdays. But once I graduated high school, I switched to being full-time, and she gave me half the business.”
“So you co-own it?” he said, raising his eyebrows.
“Yes.”
“Impressive.”
“Only because of my aunt’s generosity.”
“Don’t put yourself down. She could’ve just kept you on as an employee. She chose not to, and I’m guessing she had a reason.” I felt myself blushing, but I liked his compliment. It made me feel good about myself.
I noticed my aunt closing up and realized we’d been sitting there for nearly two hours.
“I should probably help my aunt,” I said, getting to my feet.
“You’re fine,” Aunt Clare said, having obviously overheard me, and Seth got to his feet.
“Are you doing anything for the rest of the evening?” he asked
“No.”
He smiled. “In that case, would you like to have dinner with me?”
“Here? In Hart’s Creek?”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t live here.”
He frowned just slightly. “Is that a requirement? Do you only date guys who come from Hart’s Creek?”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. This was a date? Of course it was. Why else was he asking me out? I felt flustered, but knew I had to explain. “What I mean is, if you’ve got a long journey to get home, I don’t wanna keep you.”
“You won’t, and I haven’t. I only live in Concord. It’s not the other side of the world.”
I nodded my head, feeling embarrassed, and said, “Okay. Where would you like to go?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “You tell me?”
“We’re not exactly inundated with choice,” I said, realizing the stupidity of my question. “But the hotel is supposed to be nice.”
“Let’s go there then.”
My aunt was already holding the door open for us, and I grabbed my purse from the hook just inside the kitchen, and followed Seth out onto the sidewalk, telling Aunt Clare I’d see her later. She smiled and said goodbye to Seth, and then he took my hand, letting me guide him toward the hotel.
We had a lovely meal, during which Seth was more than attentive… holding my chair when I sat down, and gazing into my eyes while we ordered. We barely stopped talking the entire time, discussing food mostly, and discovering that we shared a lot of similar tastes.
Afterwards, both of us were unwilling to let our evening end, and Seth suggested a walk.
“We could go down by the creek,” I said, and he agreed, letting me lead the way.
It was dark, but there was a full moon, and he held my hand, making sure I didn’t fall. We talked some more, and because I felt as though I’d monopolized some of our earlier conversations, I asked about his childhood. He told me about his parents, which was as hard to hear as I think it was to tell, and made me understand how much we had in common.
I enjoyed listening to him talk, though, and neither of us realized how late it was until I started to get cold. Seth gave me his jacket to wear, and only then noticed the time… which was gone two in the morning. I couldn’t believe it, and I don’t think he could, either.
He walked me home, and although nothing happened between us, I knew how much I liked him. When he asked for my number, I didn’t hesitate to give it to him. I suppose there was a part of me that thought I might never hear from him again, but I fell into bed, hoping that I might.
He called me the very next day. And then again the day after that. We talked for ages, never struggling for things to discuss, and our phone calls became the highlight of my day.
He hadn’t mentioned coming back to see me, which could be why I was so surprised when he walked through the door of the coffee shop the following Friday evening. It was already nearly time to close up for the day, and Aunt Clare said I could go early, giving me a smile.
I didn’t need to be told twice, and I took off my apron, barely remembering to grab my purse before I left.
“What do you want to do?” Seth asked.
“Anything.”
He chuckled and took me to dinner at the hotel again, explaining on the way there that he’d booked a room and was staying for the weekend.
“The entire weekend?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Yes. I thought we could spend some time together… if that’s okay with you.”
I smiled up at him, his eyes meeting mine. “It’s lovely, but I’m afraid I have to work tomorrow morning, and on Sunday.”
“All day?” he asked.
“No. Just the morning again. My aunt’s doing tomorrow afternoon, and we close at lunchtime on Sundays.”
“Okay, so can we maybe go for a picnic tomorrow?”
“That sounds perfect.”
He smiled down at me, his eyes sparkling as he pulled me to a stop in the middle of the hotel parking lot, and that was where he kissed me for the very first time. It was magical to feel his lips caressing mine, his arms holding me close against his firm body, and although I’d fallen for him the moment I first saw him, when he pulled back from that kiss, both of us breathing hard, the look in his eyes told me he felt the same way.
We’d found each other. It was right, and perfect. It was just how it was meant to be.
From then on, he came back to Hart’s Creek every weekend, staying at the hotel from Friday evening until late on Sunday, and spending as much of the time in between with me as my work would allow.
It was a couple of months before we finally went to bed together, both of us feeling quite desperate by then, I think. I know I was. He was my first, and as he took my virginity, oh so gently, I knew he’d be my last.
I told him I loved him. Not that first time, but later that weekend. I’d loved him for a long time by then, and telling him felt natural. I was a little scared about how he might react, but I had nothing to fear, because he loved me too.
I never actually told Aunt Clare what had happened, but she worked it out. It wasn’t hard. I spent every spare second of my weekends with Seth, including sleeping with him at the hotel, so she was bound to notice. I wondered if I should talk to her, and maybe explain the situation, but I didn’t need to. She took matters into her own hands.
“I don’t understand you two,” she said as Seth sat at the counter one Friday evening about six weeks after we’d first slept together. He was waiting for me to finish my shift and I was stacking up the cups behind her.
“What does that mean?” I asked, turning to face her, and smiling at Seth, who looked just as perplexed as I felt.
“Why do you bother staying at the hotel?” she asked, addressing her question to Seth.
“Where else am I going to stay?”
“Here?” she said, like the answer should be obvious.
“Do you mean here, at the apartment, with us?” I said, just to be sure I’d understood.
“I was thinking with you, more than with me.” She chuckled, shaking her head.
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Would I have suggested it, if I minded?”
I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her, only then turning to Seth, who was smiling his approval.
“I might have only just checked in, but I’ll go and check out again, shall I?”
I nodded my head, and he got down from his seat, taking my hand over the top of the counter and pulling me to the end, where he kissed me.
“I’ll be back,” he whispered.
“I can’t wait.”
Having Seth stay at the apartment was so much better. My room had always been on the top floor, reasonably separate from Aunt Clare’s, and we made the most of that. We also enjoyed being able to be by ourselves… without having to worry about finding somewhere to go.
It was lovely, and we were grateful to Aunt Clare… not just for making the suggestion, but for making Seth so welcome.
She extended that welcome a few weeks later, while we were all having breakfast together. Breakfasts had always been rushed in our house, but Seth had slotted right in, helping to get things ready, and clearing up afterwards, so Aunt Clare and I could get on with our day. On that particular morning, he was just finishing his toast when Aunt Clare said, “Everly’s never been to visit you in Concord, has she?”
Seth looked up, frowning. “No,” he said.
“Is there a reason for that?”
I wondered where she was going with her line of questioning, and sat forward.
“Only that I know she feels more comfortable in Hart’s Creek,” Seth said, reaching out and taking my hand. “It’s where she grew up, where her friends are… where you are. I’m not hiding anything.”
“And do you feel the same about Concord?” she asked. “I mean, are you as attached to it as Everly is to this place?”
“Not at all,” he said.
Aunt Clare smiled then and tipped her head to one side as I picked up my cup and took a sip of coffee, relaxing a little.
“In that case,” she said, “why don’t you move here?”
I choked on my coffee and Seth got up, coming around behind me to pat me on my back.
“Are you okay?” he asked, and I glanced up at him, nodding my head.
“I’m fine.”
He moved his hand up to my shoulder, leaving it there as we both looked back at my aunt, who was still smiling. “What are you suggesting?” Seth asked.
“Plenty of people who live here commute to Concord for work each day,” she said. “So why don’t you?”
“Are you suggesting he moves in here?” I asked.
“Yes, although I never thought I’d have to actually spell it out.” She laughed. “I’ve checked with everyone downstairs, and they’re all fine about it… even Sandra.”
“Why Sandra?” Seth asked, looking confused.
Aunt Clare suddenly became serious. “She has a difficult history, and doesn’t trust men. I can’t say I blame her, knowing what I know, but she said she’s okay with it.”
Seth nodded his head, accepting at once that everyone here mattered. They all got a say in what went on. That hasn’t changed. It’s how Aunt Clare did things, and it’s how I try to do them, too.
Aunt Clare smiled down at him before getting up from her seat and taking her plate into the kitchen.
I looked up at Seth, who quickly moved around, crouching beside me.
“What do you think?” he said, lowering his voice.
“I think it sounds perfect.”
“So do I.”
He kissed me, just briefly, and then said we’d spend the afternoon making plans.
There wasn’t very much to plan, as it transpired. He had to give a month’s notice at his place and used that time to move his belongings into the apartment, a few things each weekend.
Breakfasts became slightly more chaotic during the week, as Seth had to leave in time to get to work, and we had to open the coffee shop, but we managed, and over the coming months and years, we all fitted in with each other’s lives. Seth became part of the family… just like everyone else here. He and Aunt Clare got along so well, it was as though they’d known each other all their lives. I never heard a cross word between them, and whenever he had a problem, although he always told me about it, he’d seek her advice, listen to her counsel, and thank her for listening. She never minded. She enjoyed having him here with us… not just because he made me so happy, but because he was Seth, and she loved him, just like he loved her.
I startle at the sound of River crying and turn my head, leaping out of bed when I see the time. It’s just gone six. What’s happening? She never sleeps this late, and my morning routine has just been halved, which makes it impossible.
“Oh, hell,” I cry, running for the door and straight up the stairs.
I don’t know how I’m going to get ready in time, and to cover myself, while I fix River’s milk, I send a quick text message to Owen, asking if he can open the coffee shop for me. He comes back straight away…
— Of course. Are you okay?
I reply, letting him know what’s happened… namely that my human alarm clock failed, and he tells me to take my time and not worry… which, of course, I do. It’s in my nature to worry. As for taking my time, I won’t do anything of the sort, but at least I can stop panicking and just get through the morning routine as quickly as possible.
Of course, it would be so much easier if Seth were here. But he’s not, and for a second, I allow myself to wonder what I’d do if he knocked on my door and asked to come back. It’s a question I’ve posed to myself countless times since he left, and now – as every other time before – my answer is the same.
There would be a lot to talk about, so I’m not saying it would happen straight away, but if he asked, and if he really wanted to make it work, then my answer would be yes.
Oh, God… yes.
After such a rushed morning, the last thing I need is a hectic lunch service… but that’s exactly what I’ve got. It’s not unusual on a Saturday, and I suppose I should have expected it.
That said, I’m taking a few minutes out to feed River, and making the most of being able to put my feet up while I’m about it.
I can’t wait for Barbra to get back from vacation… not because she usually helps on Saturday lunchtimes, but because we’ve agreed that, starting next month, she’ll take over working my weekend shifts altogether, alongside Owen. In return for covering the weekends, Barbra won’t work at all on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, and Owen will have Thursdays and Fridays off. Ever since he started here, he’s always chosen to work the weekends, but his days off have been random, whereas now they’re going to be set, which will make things more stable for all of us, I think. It’s going to be a novel concept for me, working just five regular days a week, but I can’t keep going like this. I’m too damn tired.
So is River, by the looks of things, and as I lie her in her crib, her eyes flutter closed and I smile down at her. She’s angelic when she’s asleep, and I carry her bottle over to the kitchen sink and wash it out.
“Is she okay?” Sandra asks. She’s fixing a BLT on sourdough, and looks up at me, while still slicing a tomato, as only a professional chef can.
She and Lyla have shared the cooking duties here for as long as I can remember, and I know I’d be lost without them… especially now. They’ve always had help, although the form of that help has changed over the years. At the moment, it comes in the guise of either Harriet or Teresa, depending on the day of the week, so they can take the odd day off themselves. Again, those days are random, and they work them out between themselves. Today, it’s just Sandra and Lyla who are here. They’ve become honorary aunties to River, and although they’re nearly always rushed off of their feet, they make time to keep an eye on her for me, calling me when she wakes up. I don’t expect anyone to do anything with her. She’s my daughter, after all… but it’s good to know they’re watching over her.
“She’s fine.” I give her a smile.
“Can I get you anything?” Lyla asks. She’s just as busy as Sandra, and I shake my head.
“No, thanks. I’d better get back to work.”
“There’s a stack of plates there, if you want to take them back out?” Lyla says, nodding to the crockery on the end of the countertop.
“Are the cups ready to go out too?” I ask.
“Yes, but don’t carry too much at once.”
I huff out a laugh. “You forget, I’ve been doing this for more than ten years.”
“Are you trying to make us feel old now?” Sandra says, and we all laugh, although we keep it quiet so we don’t wake River, who seems to have settled in her crib.
I pick up the pile of plates, and as many cups as I can carry, and check on River as I pass her, sliding through the swing door and into the coffee shop. It’s still busy out here, although it’s not as bad as it was earlier, and I glance up, my breath catching in my throat, my skin tingling as I see a man walking past the front of the shop.
It can’t be. And yet, I know it is.
It’s Seth.
I’d know him anywhere, and in my panic, I drop a cup, wincing at the clattering sound as it hits the floor, unbroken.
“Are you okay?” Owen rushes over, picking up the cup and taking the plates from me. “What on earth possessed you to carry so much?”
He puts the plates down, and I grab his arm with my free hand. “It’s him,” I whisper.
“Him?” He frowns, staring down at me.
“Yes. Seth.”
His face clears. “Where?”
“Outside. He’s… oh God… he’s coming in.”
Owen turns toward the door. “That’s Seth?” he says, looking back at me. “I’ll say one thing… you’ve got great taste.”
“Be quiet.” He chuckles, which isn’t helping at all, and I turn, looking back at the swing door again. It’s still swaying slightly, and I nod my head. “I’m gonna go hide.”
“No, you’re not,” he says firmly.
He grabs the cups, putting them down beside the plates, and as Seth closes the door behind him, Owen nudges me forward, reminding me of what Aunt Clare did all those years ago.
For a second, I wonder if that’s a sign, but then I realize there’s no such thing and I stand, mesmerized by the sight of the only man I’ll ever love, walking straight toward me…