Chapter 11 Alex #2
“I don’t know what to do with her half the time.”
“Don’t worry so much. Teenagers are hard. My daughter was terrible, and look how she’s turned out now.”
The doorbell rang, so I excused myself to go answer it, yanking open the door a little too hard and nearly knocking myself backward.
Gillian stood there with Grace at her side, both sun-kissed and glowing, looking like a photo advertising Northern California tourism. Grace held a bouquet of flowers.
“Hey, guys.” I stepped back to welcome them inside. “Come on in.”
“Hi, Alex. Thank you for inviting us.” Grace thrust the flowers into my hands. “These are from our garden.”
“They’re beautiful,” I said. “Thank you.”
Grace’s eyes widened as she looked past me to the wall of windows that framed the ocean beyond. “Wow. Holy cow. This place is sick.”
“Thank you,” I said.
I brushed my mouth to Gillian’s cheek. “You look beautiful.” She wore a sundress in a sage green that brought out her eyes. A pair of wedge sandals showed off her dancer calves and added a few inches to her petite stature.
“You look considerably more relaxed than earlier.” Gillian smiled up at me, squeezing my hand.
“Thanks to you,” I said, my gaze lingering on her pretty face for a second too long.
Bella appeared in the foyer, looking pale and shaky. Neither of us would recover anytime soon from the encounter with Darren. Still, she was putting on a brave face. She held up her hand in a half wave. “Hi.”
“It’s nice to see you, Bella,” Gillian said. “Thank you for having us.”
“Yeah, thanks so much.” Grace lurched toward Bella, clearly surprising my daughter with a warm hug. “Your house is so pretty.”
“Thanks,” Bella said, ducking her chin, cheeks flushing.
Peter strode in from the hallway, hair damp from a recent shower. For a second, I studied him, looking for cracks in his usual easy-going nature. There didn’t seem to be any. “Hey. I’m Peter.” He shook Gillian’s hand and then held up his fist for Grace to bump.
“Hi, Peter. I’ve seen you play baseball,” Grace said.
“Ah, cool. Was I playing well?” Peter asked.
“I guess so. I don’t really know that much about the game,” Grace said before turning to Bella. “Annie told me you’re super good at soccer.”
Bella shrugged, but I could tell she was pleased. “Annie’s our best player, but I do okay.”
“I wish I was sporty,” Grace said. “But I’m more the diva type.”
Gillian laughed. “That’s the truth.”
I led them all into the kitchen.
“Did you bring a swimsuit?” Bella asked Grace.
“No, I didn’t,” Grace said.
“Don’t worry, you can borrow one of mine if we decide to swim later. Or, there’s the hot tub.”
“I’m in,” Grace said.
Sonya came out of the pantry, wiping her hands on a towel. “Good evening. I’m Sonya.”
“The woman we can’t live without,” I said. “And this is Gillian and Grace.”
“May I offer refreshment?” Sonya asked. “Senor Alex told me to chill some white wine for you.”
“I’d love a glass,” Gillian said. “Thank you.”
“And for you kids, I have a sparkling water or soda,” Sonya said.
“Nothing for me,” Grace said. “I already had a ton of water this afternoon, and I don’t want to have to take a million bathroom breaks.” She blushed. “Sorry. Overshare.”
“No, totally same,” Bella said. “I’m always so thirsty, but then I have to go a thousand times a day.”
“Bella’s got the smallest bladder ever,” Peter said. “Try taking a road trip with her. We have to stop every hour.”
“That’s me too,” Grace said.
The girls smiled at each other.
“Why don’t you guys show Grace the rest of the house,” I said.
“Oh my God, yes. I’d love to see it,” Grace said.
The kids wandered off together, chatting as they went.
“Lila would admire this kitchen,” Gillian said. “She loves wide-planked floors, especially in a muted gray like these.”
“We’ll have her over some time soon,” I said. “I want to get to know your friends.”
“They would like that,” Gillian said. “When I’m ready to share you.”
Meanwhile, Sonya had poured our wine and encouraged us to go out on the deck. “It’s the perfect evening to spend outside.”
“Great idea,” I said. “Let me know when you’re ready for me to put the chicken on the grill.”
“Yes, yes. But you must promise to keep a better eye on them than last time,” Sonya said.
I laughed. “Last week, I put chicken on to grill and then got absorbed in a baseball game and forgot all about them.”
“Until we smelled the smoke,” Sonya said.
“We had to order pizza,” I said. “But I promise to do better tonight.”
Gillian slipped her hand in mine as we headed out to the deck. Our infinity pool reflected the last light of evening and the ocean stretched endlessly beyond the landscaped bluffs. The evening air was sharp with salt, and cooling fast.
“I hope you brought a sweater.” I brushed my fingers along Gillian’s bare shoulder. “God, you’re gorgeous.”
“You’re not so bad yourself.” She stood on her tiptoes to give me a quick kiss.
“Thank you for earlier. I’m embarrassed, but grateful for your help.”
“I’m glad I could be there for you.”
“I’m glad too.”
We settled in near the pool, with our wine and the gorgeous view.
“Are you doing okay? For real?” Gillian reached over to cup my cheek.
“I’m much better than earlier. Bella and I haven’t really talked about it, but I think she has a better understanding of who he really is now.”
“Are you worried about Darren’s threats?”
“I am.” I hesitated for a moment. “Bella and Peter don’t know they’re not legally mine.
” Pressing the tips of my fingers against my eyes, I sighed.
“I’m going to have to come clean. I have no idea how they’ll react but, given Bella’s response to you and me, I’m worried.
She already feels abandoned. If she knows I’m not legally bound to them, she might take that as a rejection. ”
“It’s not going to be easy, but you’ll have to tell them. Sooner, rather than later. Given what we know about Darren.”
“I agree. I just don’t know how.”
“Just tell them straight out. Kids are more resilient than we think.”
“They’ve been through so much. When their mom was sick, we all clung to hope that she’d get better, but then she didn’t.
Bella took it hard. She and her mom were always close.
The move here distracted her some, and she loves living near the beach, but I can see sometimes the heaviness in her heart.
I just want her to feel joyful again. She was such a happy little girl—but now she’s always sad or sullen. ”
“She knows heartbreak and loss much too young,” Gillian said. “I was older when I lost my sister, but not by much. It’s not something one ever gets over, unfortunately. But as time passes, we learn how to live with a new normal.”
“I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to take on a baby. You were so young.”
“I grew up fast.” Gillian gazed out at the ocean view, her expression one of wistfulness.
“But Grace was so sweet and helpless. Goodness, she was a pretty baby too. I was so in love with her. I can remember those first nights with her. She woke every day around four a.m. for a feeding. I’d bring her into my bed and give her a bottle, just staring down at her little downy head and thinking—it’s just me.
All she had was me and I had to step up. ”
“It was similar for me, when I met Mattie and the kids. She was feisty and strong, but even I could see how hard it had been to raise them on her own when she was broke and single. When she came to work for me, the kids would come with her to the office if there was a school holiday or whatnot, and I thought they were cute. It wasn’t until later, after Mattie and I were in a relationship that it hit me.
If I were to marry her, the kids would be my responsibility. ”
“Did you ever hesitate?”
“God, no. I’d not have gotten involved if I’d thought I could let them down. That’s not in my nature. Yours either, it seems.”
“We have that in common.”
We shared a smile, silent for a moment or two.
“I’d not have pictured early parenthood for either of us,” I said. “During that summer we were together, we were both so ambitious.”
“I know. When I think back on how totally focused I was on dance, it’s hard to believe I was able to make the transition. But like I said, I fell hard for Grace. She became my whole world.” Gillian took a sip of wine, her brow knitting. “Do you think Darren has any legal standing?”
“Unfortunately, he does. He won’t win a custody suit against me because of his criminal background and current lifestyle.
However, he could drag me into a nasty court battle, smear my name, make the kids go through more hell.
I contacted my attorney earlier to tell him what’s going on.
He said he could prepare some kind of settlement agreement.
Money in exchange for him giving away his parental rights. ”
“It will be better to get everything out in the open. Have your attorney make the deal. Then you can officially adopt the kids. You’ll never have to worry again.”
I nodded, thinking through what she’d proposed. “I was a fool all these years, thinking we’d never hear from him. It never occurred to me that Bella would want to find him. And it was me who found him for her.” I scratched my neck, sighing. “I’m kicking myself.”
“It’s going to be okay.” Gillian stroked my bare arm with her fingernails, sending waves of desire through me, despite my fears about Darren and the kids.
“You have money. That’s all he wants.” Her eyes softened but stayed sharp all the same.
I wondered if there was ever a time her gaze reflected anything but a keen intelligence and sensitivity.
I’d forgotten how beguiling she’d been. How completely smitten I’d been with her.
“I wonder how much it’ll take to get rid of him for good?” I asked.
“A guy like that? He’ll try to weasel as much as he can out of you.” Gillian crossed one shapely thigh over the other, twisting slightly to look at me.
I studied her across the rim of my glass, thinking how pretty she looked in the early evening light. “Ben, my attorney, will get him to sign those papers, one way or the other.”
“See then? Everything’s going to be fine,” Gillian said.
We were interrupted when Sonya came out to the patio with a platter of marinated chicken and the bottle of wine. While she filled our glasses, I placed the chicken on the now warm grill.
“Set a timer, Senor Alex,” Sonya said.
“Yes, ma’am.” I winked at her. “Prepare to be amazed by my grilling technique.”
“I’ll prepare myself accordingly.” Sonya raised both eyebrows as she exchanged a humorous glance with Gillian. “In the meantime, I’ll let the kids know that dinner’s almost ready.”
“What have they been doing?” I asked, closing the lid of the grill.
“I heard them upstairs listening to music and laughing,” Sonya said. “We should all be optimistic.”
After she left, Gillian and I stood together, leaning against the railing, watching as the sun lowered in the sky, casting the world in an orange glow. She leaned her head against my shoulder. “Optimism seems easier when I’m by your side,” Gillian said.
I kissed the top of her sweet-smelling head, one of her curls tickling my cheek. “I couldn’t agree more.”