Chapter 12 Gillian
GILLIAN
The five of us gathered around the patio dining table to eat dinner.
Temperatures had quickly cooled once the sun set, but Alex turned on several outdoor heaters, making it quite pleasant despite my sleeveless dress.
Sonya brought out a heap of homemade potato salad, steaming ears of corn dripping with butter, and fresh rolls straight out of the oven.
As promised, Alex’s chicken had been cooked perfectly.
“Thank you, Sonya,” I said as I unfolded a perfectly ironed linen napkin. “This looks wonderful.”
“It’s my pleasure, Miss Gillian. I enjoy cooking for a family now that my children are all grown up,” Sonya said.
“Leave the dishes to us,” Alex said.
“Oh, dear me, no,” Sonya said. “I’ll be inside if you need anything at all.”
After she left, I turned to Alex. “Does she live here with you?”
He nodded. “Yes. She lives in an apartment over the detached garage.”
“We used to have Maya,” Bella said. “But she didn’t want to move away from her family.”
“Sonya’s been with us since we came to Willet Cove,” Alex said. “We’re quite attached to her.”
“She seems to feel the same way about all of you,” I said.
“At first we missed Maya,” Peter said. “She’d been with us for a long time.”
“Our mom loved Maya,” Bella said. “She took care of Mom when she was sick.”
“I’m sorry about your mom,” Grace said, in that innocent, sweet way she had. My child had a big heart, even if sometimes it overwhelmed her and everyone around her. She felt everything so deeply and intensely. Like me.
“I don’t understand why everyone says that,” Bella said. “It’s not like it’s anyone’s fault that she died. Except God’s.”
“It’s just a way to express condolences,” Peter said, glancing over at his father.
Bella shook her head, looking stubborn and sullen. “At the memorial, ladies from church told me God had a plan and that everything happens for a reason and my mom was in a better place. I wanted to punch them.”
Grace giggled. From nerves or genuine humor? I wasn’t sure.
Bella’s eyes flashed, but then she grinned. “I’m serious. I wanted to punch them right in the nose.”
“Bella, that’s enough,” Alex said.
“I mean, I didn’t punch them, obviously,” Bella said. “Mom would’ve been mortified if I’d done something like that at her funeral.”
“Bella, really?” Peter mumbled, the tips of his ears growing pink.
“It’s all right,” I said. “I felt the same way when my sister died. People telling me she was in a better place nearly provoked a streak of violence in me too.”
“It did?” Grace asked, looking shocked. “I’ve never heard you say anything like that.”
“Grief makes people feel strange things,” I said. “You wake up feeling like a different person than you were before you lost them.”
“Yeah, it’s true,” Peter said, looking up from his plate.
“And things you once liked or enjoyed seem stupid,” I said.
“Like what?” Grace asked.
“I used to watch this reality show about these rich women in New York,” I said.
“I always found it funny and entertaining. But one day, about two months after I lost my sister, I was folding laundry and turned it on just as a distraction. And one of the stars had some crisis that wasn’t really a crisis and I got so mad I wanted to shout at the television about people with real problems. All their pettiness and vapidness seemed so clear to me. I never watched it again.”
“It must have been scary to suddenly have a baby,” Bella said.
“Oh, it was. I was only nineteen,” I said. “And kind of a dummy when it came to anything practical.”
“That’s only three years older than me,” Peter said. “I will not be ready for a baby when I’m nineteen.”
“Which is why you have to keep it in your pants,” Bella said.
I almost laughed, but managed to stifle it by covering my mouth with my napkin.
“Bella, what in the world’s gotten into you?” Alex asked, clearly not amused.
Bella’s forehead creased, like she couldn’t understand what she’d said wrong. “Dad, you know it’s true. All these girls throw themselves at Peter. He has to remain strong. Teenage boys have a lot of hormones.”
Grace giggled . I shot her a look, which sobered her immediately.
“I’m sorry, ladies,” Alex said. “Bella doesn’t understand what it means to have a filter.”
Peter, who was now a bright shade of scarlet, stared down at his plate.
“My friend Tyler’s super popular with girls too,” Grace said, clearly trying to change the subject for Peter’s sake. “Mia and Annie and me constantly tease him about it.”
“Tyler’s cute,” Bella said. “And he seems nice too.”
“Oh, he’s the best,” Grace said. “Do you want to hang out with us sometime? We like to have bonfires on the beach in the summer, like every Sunday. Wanna come this weekend?”
“Can I, Dad?” Bella looked at her dad, who nodded his approval.
“You can come too,” Grace said to Peter. “If you don’t mind hanging out with a bunch of kids younger than you.”
“Tyler’s cool,” Peter said.
“We adore Tyler,” Alex said. “Great player and has the right attitude.”
“What kind of attitude is that?” Grace asked, wrinkling her nose.
“He works hard. Doesn’t complain. Has fun while maintaining a sense of competition,” Alex said.
“We’ve known him since we were all five,” Grace said. “Mom says he has an old soul. Right, Mom?”
I nodded in agreement. “He certainly does.”
Sonya reappeared with more wine and asked if we needed anything else.
“No, thanks, Sonya,” Alex said. “Everything’s delicious as always.”
“I do what I can,” Sonya said, grinning over at Peter. “There’s more potato salad if you’re still hungry.”
Peter patted his tummy. “No. Thanks, Sonya. I’m stuffed.”
“This boy eats his father out of house and home,” Sonya said, sounding quite pleased with Peter for his robust appetite, before heading back inside.
“Is it weird to have someone living with you that isn’t family?” Grace asked, salting her corn.
“Sonya is family,” Alex said. “We figured that out right away.”
“It must be nice to have someone to cook and clean for you,” Grace said. “Mom’s always complaining about having to cook dinner.”
“It’s just relentless—dinner,” I said, smiling. “Every single night.”
“Our mom loved cooking,” Bella said. “She was the best cook in the whole world.”
I didn’t know how to respond, so just smiled. Like many teenage girls, Bella was all over the place. Friendly. Then not. Then back again. But she seemed to be warming up to me a little. Grace was helping with that, God bless her.
“Tell me how school was for you this year,” I said, nodding toward Bella and then Peter. “Has it been hard to adjust to a new school?”
Peter lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I didn’t want to leave my friends or my baseball team, but, once I got used to the change, it’s been good. I love it here.”
“Where we lived in the city was noisy and super busy,” Bella said. “When we first lived here, I’d wake up in the middle of the night and not know where I was. It was so quiet. Other than the sound of waves crashing to shore.”
“Do you enjoy hearing the ocean?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah. Totally,” Bella said. “I love it here too. Even though I miss our old house and neighborhood. I had a lot of friends. Ones I’d known a long time.”
“It must have been hard to start at a new school,” Grace said. “I’ve always lived here and can’t imagine not being with my friends I’ve grown up with.”
“It was,” Bella said softly. “But not the worst thing that ever happened to me.”
I swallowed a lump in my throat. These children had been through so much, losing their mother and then moving to a new town.
And now? Would they be tested further with Darren back in their lives?
I’d downplayed my worry with Alex earlier, but, in truth, I was terrified for them all.
When they understood Alex hadn’t legally adopted them, it would surely trigger intense responses.
Even Peter, as easy-going as he appeared to be, would take it hard.
Where did I fit into their lives? Was there room for Grace and me?
But I was getting ahead of myself. We’d only been on two dates.
Yet we’d fallen back into an easy rhythm.
Just as we had all those years before. From the very first night I met him, we’d been together every second we could be and never ran out of subjects to talk about.
Only now, we were adults, with responsibilities and children who needed us.
Was it selfish to even consider a future with Alex when his kids were so fragile?
Grace reached over to give Bella’s arm a squeeze. I watched as the girls exchanged a smile. Leave it to Grace to draw Bella out. I felt as if I might burst with pride.
“Do you want to come to my soccer game tomorrow?” Bella asked Grace. “And you too, Gillian?”
Amazed, I simply nodded. “I would love to.”
“Me too,” Grace said. “Actually, I was already going to be there because Annie’s playing. But now I’ll be there for two reasons.”
“We should go in the hot tub,” Bella said. “Can we, Dad?”
“Clear your plates and then go for it,” Alex said. “Be sure to thank Sonya for dinner on your way up.”
“Come on, Grace.” Bella jumped to her feet, grabbing her plate. “I’ll lend you a suit.”
That left Alex and me alone with Peter.
Peter looked over at me. “Bella can be a lot.”
“So can Grace,” I said.
“She likes you, though,” Peter said. “Even if it’s hard to tell. She can be prickly sometimes, but she’s actually really sweet.”
“I understand perfectly,” I said. “I remember what it’s like to be fourteen.”
Alex’s phone buzzed from where he’d left it by the grill. “Oh, that’s my alarm to remind me to take my supplement. I’ll be right back.”
“And now there are two,” I said.
Peter cocked his head, his dark eyes studying me in the dim evening light. Overhead, gulls screamed. The water feature clicked on, filling the pool with a steady rush. “Dad told me what happened earlier today. With the sperm donor.”
“You mean Darren?”
“Yeah. He said you handled it really well.”