Chapter 13 Alex #2
“Your mom had dressed you in this frilly dress, and you were complaining that it itched,” I said.
“Then you yanked it over your head and started running around the apartment pretending you were riding a horse. Next thing I knew, I was also pretending to ride a horse, galloping after you. Peter abandoned his dinosaurs and joined us. Your mom came in from the kitchen, and I remember she had this indulgent smile on her face, like she knew she was about to have another kid to look after. That evening was all it took. I knew driving home that I would figure out how to be the father you needed. It wasn’t always easy, even though your mom made it seem that way.
But you two have filled my heart with so much love and purpose.
I would choose you again and again.” By this time, I was crying.
“I ruined everything by trying to find him.” Bella pressed her lips together.
“We can’t think about that now,” I said. “We just have to deal with it and move forward.”
Bella slid off the stool. She hesitated, then walked around the island and stopped in front of me, standing inside arm’s reach, the way a wild thing stands at the edge of a clearing. Then, she melted into my arms, resting her young cheek on my shoulder. “You won’t let him take us, right?”
“Over my dead body,” I said, knowing it was true.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Bella said.
I held her tight, breathing in the scent of her sweet hair. From the counter, my phone buzzed. It was Ben, calling me back. “Guys, it’s Ben. I’m going to take it in the study.”
Both kids nodded. Sonya went to the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of lemonade. I squeezed Gillian’s hand before answering the phone on the way to my study.
“Hey, Ben.”
“How’s your face?”
“Bruised,” I said. “Did you see the video?”
“I did. How are the kids handling it?”
“Bella says she’s not going back to soccer.”
“Tell her people have short memories. There’ll be a new scandal in five minutes.
” Ben’s voice shifted to business mode. “Listen, I’ve reviewed everything you sent plus the old documents.
First things first: do not engage with Darren.
No communication without me present, none at all.
If he shows up, call me before you call the cops.
And lock down your social media—turn off comments, make everything private. ”
“Done.”
“Good. Now, you’ve got two options. Litigation—we petition for step-parent adoption based on abandonment.
California law is on your side since he’s been gone over a year.
But it’ll take years in court and put the kids through hell.
Option two is cleaner: we offer him a settlement.
He signs away parental rights, agrees to no contact, and we pay him to disappear. ”
I felt my jaw tighten. “Pay him.”
“One lump sum. Cheaper than five years of legal fees, and better for Bella and Peter. A man like Darren? Won’t take much to make him go away.” Ben paused. “But if he wants to play games, we file for a restraining order immediately and make his life very uncomfortable. Your call.”
At the thought of further interaction with Darren, my stomach turned. “God, I hope he takes the money.”
“I’ll make sure he does. The videos show him taunting you at a youth event. His intoxication is apparent. Not good for him. We’ll have no problems from him. I know exactly who this guy is.”
I swallowed, throat aching. “Thanks, Ben.”
“Call me if anything changes,” he said, and the line clicked dead.
I put the phone down and drew in a deep breath before heading back to the kitchen but stopped just outside the doorway, listening to Gillian answer questions from my children.
“Did you ever think you were too young for a baby?” Bella asked.
“Oh, goodness, yes. I was a teenager. But like your dad, I vowed to do it anyway. My sister and brother-in-law trusted me with their baby girl, and I wasn’t about to let either of them down.”
“Did people think you were a teen mom?” Bella asked.
“Totally. I was a young-looking nineteen-year-old. Certain people stared at me in a grocery store. You know the type. They saw a nineteen-year-old with a baby on her hip and immediately assumed they knew my situation. One woman actually said under her breath but loud enough for me to hear. ‘Babies having babies. Shame on you.’”
“Did you tell her to shut up?” Bella asked.
“No, I didn’t correct her. Trust me, I wanted to.
Mostly to make her ashamed of her unkind words.
I wanted to tell her how bewildering and frightening it was to suddenly have a child completely dependent on me.
Everything in my life changed, and I was doing the best I could.
But that horrible woman wasn’t owed an explanation.
It was only Grace I had to protect, not what people thought of me. ”
“Still, it must have been lonely,” Sonya said.
“It was. Until I met my girls. I have four best friends who have filled the gaps. Helped me raise Grace. People who love her almost as much as I do.”
I entered the kitchen, and everyone turned to look at me. The kids were still at the island with Gillian, but Sonya was back at the cooktop, stirring chili that probably didn’t need stirring.
“Ben’s on it,” I said. “We have to have faith.”
Bella twisted her lemonade glass by a quarter turn, then untwisted it. She took a breath, then another. When she spoke, her voice sounded like it did when she had a nightmare and asked me to sit on the floor beside her bed until she fell back to sleep.
“Can I … go with Gillian tonight?” she asked, eyes on the glass, not me. “Just for tonight.”
The question nearly knocked me backward. Peter’s head snapped toward her, then toward me. Sonya stirred the chili even more vigorously. Gillian looked stunned for half a second, then softened, hand already halfway to her heart.
She wanted to go to Gillian’s. I made myself unclench my jaw. This wasn’t punishment. This was progress. She wanted to be with a mother figure. There was nothing wrong with it, even though it stung a bit.”It’s up to Gillian.”
“If it’s okay with your dad,” Gillian said. “I’d love to have you.”
Bella met my eyes. “I just want a break from it all. For tonight. Grace will distract me.”
“She’s good at that,” Gillian said.
A part of me wanted to say no. To gather Bella up, lock the doors, sit outside her room, and hold vigil until dawn. Another part knew what a miracle it was that she wanted to spend time with Gillian.
“I get it. You can go with Gillian,” I said.
Bella stepped away and turned to Gillian. “I kind of invited myself, didn’t I? Is it okay? Will Grace be mad?”
“She’ll be thrilled to see you. We’ll have a girls’ night.” She touched Bella’s shoulder lightly. “It’ll be epic. No one does girls’ nights like me.”
Bella grinned. “Can we have popcorn? And a girl movie?”
“We always have popcorn on girls’ night. You can pick whatever movie you want.”
“Can I bring my favorite nail polish?” Bella asked. “Will you paint my nails for me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Come on, I’ll help you pack,” Sonya said.
“Do you want to see my room, Gillian?” Bella asked.
“I’d love to.”
They left the kitchen, chatting about polish colors and which were their favorites. I looked over at my son, who stared at the countertop, tapping his fingers on the surface.
“You okay?” I asked.
He lifted his gaze to meet mine. “Yeah, I’m good. You and Ben will get it all figured out, and we can forget about all of this.” He smiled. “And Bella wanting to go to Gillian’s? That’s a good thing.”
“I guess it is.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Mom would’ve liked Gillian. She would see what a great mother she is and know that we were going to be looked after.”
I pulled him into a hug and he didn’t even resist, just let me hold him for a moment.
“Dad, we’re going to be fine, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. As long as I have you guys, we’re going to be fine.”