Chapter 14 Gillian
GILLIAN
After dinner, I sent the girls upstairs to shower and change into pajamas.
Grace had been surprised when Bella walked through the door with me, but she'd recovered quickly, pulling her into a hug.
To her credit, she hadn't mentioned the soccer game disaster or asked any questions—she simply made Bella feel welcome.
Downstairs, I pulled out a pot for popcorn. Grace appeared in the kitchen doorway wearing her cotton pajamas dotted with cherries.
“Hey, Mom. You good?”
“Sure I am. Why do you ask?” I measured out kernels and added them to the bubbling oil.
“I don't know. It's just been a lot. We're not used to drama.” She glanced toward the ceiling. From above, the shower turned on—Bella was still getting ready.
I smiled, pulling Grace in for a hug. “It has been some drama, but nothing we can’t handle, right?”
“I feel so bad for Bella. She started crying again upstairs.”
“It’s awful.”
“She’s mortified that everyone saw,” Grace said. “I would be too.”
“It’ll die down after a while. But we have to encourage her to stay on the team. If she quits, she’ll never be able to go back without feeling super embarrassed.”
“Will you help her, Mom?”
“In what way?”
“I don’t know. She misses her mom so much, and stuff like this makes it even worse.”
“I’m here for her. If she wants that.”
“She knows she’s made everything harder the last few days. She told me so just now. Which means that tomorrow night you and Alex need to go on a date.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you,” I said. “We’ll see how Alex feels tomorrow. He’s pretty shaken up.”
“Yeah, I get that,” Grace said.
The front doorbell rang. “Who could that be?”
“You don’t think Darren would just show up here, do you?” Grace’s eyes widened.
“Darren? No. He has no idea where we live.” Even as I said it, fear made my legs go slightly numb. What if he’d followed us somehow?
I told Grace to wait in the kitchen and keep an eye on the popcorn, then hurried into the living room and peered out the window.
It was Alex standing on the porch, carrying a blanket and a tuxedo cat stuffed animal.
I yanked open the door, happy to see him, even though it had been only an hour since I’d left his house.
“Hey there. Come on in.” I backed up, beckoning him inside.
“Bella forgot these. I didn’t think she’d be able to sleep without them.” He held out the blanket and toy cat as if presenting a crown on a silk pillow to a queen.
“That’s very sweet of you.” My heart melted, seeing the pain in his dark eyes as I took the blanket and cat from him. “She’s upstairs in the shower. Do you want to wait to say goodnight to her?”
“I’d like that. It’s just hard to know she’s hurting and that she doesn’t want me to be the one to comfort her.”
“She just needed a night away. And maybe some feminine energy. You’re doing the right thing. Giving her space shows her you respect her feelings.”
His mouth pulled tight, the muscles in his jaw working as though he was chewing glass. “I’m sorry for all this. Are you sure you don’t want an out?”
I stepped closer, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne, wishing I could wrap myself around him. Forever. “I do not want an out. I’m in. All in.”
“It certainly seems that way.” He brought me in for a kiss. For a moment, I forgot all our problems, melting against him.
The sound of popping corn brought me back to reality. Grace poked her head out of the kitchen. “Don’t worry Mom, I’ve got the popcorn. Hi, Alex.”
“Hey, Grace,” Alex said.
Grace left us to attend to the popcorn.
“And I’m sorry for coming by unannounced. The car just kind of drove me here.”
“It’s okay.” I wanted to smooth away the worry lines with my fingertips.
He brushed his hands through his hair, causing it to stick up in the back. A shadow of stubble darkened his chin.
Just then, Bella bounded down the stairs. She stopped when she saw Alex. “Dad, what are you doing here?”
“I brought your blanket and Cutie.” Alex held up his hands. “But I’m going.”
“Okay, good. I mean, just ‘cause I wanted girls night and you’re not a girl,” Bella said.
He laughed. “I get it. Pretend I wasn’t here.”
Grace appeared with three bowls of popcorn. “Bella, let’s go get settled in the living room. I’ll paint your nails before the movie starts.”
“How will I eat popcorn if I have wet nails?” Bella asked, already following Grace.
“Ooh, good point,” Grace said. “Maybe popcorn first.”
Bella turned back toward us. “Night, Dad. Love you.”
“Love you too,” Alex said.
After the girls were gone, he pulled me into an embrace, kissing me again. “I could do this all night, but I’ll make myself scarce.” He brushed his knuckles against my cheek. “Thank you for having her over.”
“It’s my pleasure.”
“You’re one of a kind, you know that?” He kissed me again before heading out the kitchen door, so as not to disturb the girls.
I stood at the kitchen window watching him get into his car and then pull out of my driveway, his taillights rubies in the dark night.
For whatever reason, an inky pool of dread settled in my stomach.
Please keep him safe, I prayed silently. I can’t lose him again.
I sat between the girls on the couch, each of us with our bowls of popcorn on our laps.
Clementine and Socks were curled up together in the cat bed near the hearth, although it was not lit tonight.
Sadly, they were no lap kitties. Obstinate creatures knew how much I wished they were, so did the opposite.
Grace had a blanket wrapped around her shoulders, her bare feet tucked underneath her. Bella had snuggled in on the other side, the blanket Alex had brought pulled up to her chin, the stuffed tuxedo cat clutched tight against her chest.
“Does anyone have a preference on what we watch?” Grace asked, eyes flicking between us.
Bella shrugged, grabbing a handful of popcorn. “I don’t care. As long as there are no car chases or guys in superhero costumes. That’s what my brother and Dad like. I never get to have a girl movie.”
Grace grinned, tossing off the blanket to yank open our DVD drawer where I had them alphabetized. Esme teased me about having so many DVDs when I could just stream most movies these days, but I liked to collect certain movies. Ones Grace and I watched over and over.
“Might I propose The Proposal?” Grace asked, chuckling at her own joke. “Classic romcom. Romantic. Hilarious.”
“We’ve seen that one about twenty times,” I said to Bella. “But we never get sick of it.”
“And I’ll see it twenty more.” Grace bounced on her toes as she opened the DVD case. “Sandra Bullock plus Ryan Reynolds are like the best thing ever. And of course, there’s Betty White. Who I’m obsessed with.”
“What’s it about?” Bella asked. “I’ve never seen it.”
“You’ve not seen The Proposal? Oh my gawd, we have to remedy this immediately,” Grace said.
“It’s one of those fake fiancé tropes, which I adore.
In this one, the Canadian boss lady needs to stay in the U.S.
so she makes her assistant pretend they’re in love and getting married.
But then they actually fall in love, and it’s so romantic. ”
Bella hugged her blanket tighter, smiling. “Sounds kind of ridiculous.”
“Exactly. That’s the best part.” Grace hit play and plopped back onto the couch.
As the movie unfolded, Grace whispered lines before the actors delivered them until I nudged her with my elbow.
She apologized under her breath, never taking her eyes off the screen.
Bella just watched at first, but, by the time the stars had landed in Alaska to visit the hero’s family, she was giggling as much as Grace.
She howled with laughter when Sandra Bullock and Betty White danced around the fire in the woods.
“This is really funny,” Bella said.
Was it my imagination or had she scooted closer to me.
My question was answered a few minutes later, when she rested her head against my shoulder.
Without thinking, I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and drew her close.
Grace mimicked the movement on the other side of me.
I smiled to myself, loving every moment of their heavy, warm bodies next to mine.
By the time the credits rolled, the popcorn was gone and our cheeks hurt from laughing.
Grace’s eyelids drooped, though she managed a dreamy sigh. “I hope someday someone looks at me the way Ryan Reynolds looks at Sandy B.”
“Someone will.” I brushed her hair back from her forehead and kissed the top of her head. “Probably more than that, and you’ll have to choose the right one.”
“How do you know if he’s the right one?” Bella asked.
“You feel it in your tummy,” I said. “Like you’ve just eaten a warm bread pudding and you know with utter certainty that nothing else will ever taste as good.”
“What if you feel like that but he doesn’t?” Bella asked.
“You won’t have the pudding feeling if it’s not reciprocated,” I said.
“And you must always pay attention to what your gut and instincts are telling you. If you have a prickle of doubt, then it’s wrong.
But that’s a long way away for you girls.
Right now your focus should be on yourself and your future, with or without a man. ”
Bella yawned. “Boys are kind of dumb at our school.”
“So dumb,” Grace said. “Except for Tyler and Robbie.”
“My brother’s smart too,” Bella said. “But sometimes he makes me feel so dramatic.”
“I’m totally dramatic,” Grace said. “Mom said you have to just embrace who you are and not try and be like anyone else. Right, Mom?”
“Absolutely. Now, I hate for this evening to end, but you two need to go to bed, and so do I. Come on, let’s get you settled.”
Grace grumbled something about not wanting to brush her teeth, but she didn’t argue when I steered them toward the bathroom. While they got ready for bed, I fluffed both pillows and made sure both bunks had enough blankets.
“Which is mine?” Bella asked as she came into the room.