29. Chelsea
CHELSEA
Itoss and turn on the bed as a gentle breeze rattles the window panes. I ultimately lie on my back, then twist around and lie on the other side too, blowing a breath out from between my lips. I can’t sleep.
I should be asleep. It's midnight, and I have a long day tomorrow. We'll be doing a lot of press and also announcing a major new government-funded project that James secured.
We're going to be developing a part of Brooklyn, building affordable housing, and he bid on this project for the entire year, at times losing hope that it would ever come to fruition.
Just a few days ago, they called and told me that he had it, leading him to run into my office screaming his head off and swinging me off my feet into a protracted hug.
Then we immediately had to quickly secure the press for such a monumental event that would truly put his company on the map. He warned me that I might appear in a few photos or videos too, which means I have to get enough sleep to prevent my eyes from looking puffy in the morning.
Yet I can't sleep.
My date with Adam went well.
Too well.
So well that I'm lying here thinking about it again.
Before that, I thought I had an obvious choice. My connection with Sam always seemed stronger and more natural than the rest. I thought it was just lust with Adam and Jake, but with Sam, we could truly build something that could continue beyond that.
But yesterday, with Adam showed me that I could connect with him too, in a way I didn’t expect. Learning about his family, about his time in the military, about all the expectations that had been placed on him from a young age, it was all so revealing and so moving.
And the more I know about him, the more I like him beyond the physical attraction. The more I realize that he needs someone to take care of him for a change.
The more I want to be that person.
Fuck me, now it's all getting jumbled up in my head.
And I expect the date with Jake will confuse me more.
“This is going to be a disaster," I murmur.
Right now, it doesn't feel like a disaster.
It feels like I'm on the best roller coaster I’ve ever been on, with constant excitement and wonder waiting for me.
At the same time. I feel safe around them.
Too safe, and that's dangerous because the last time I felt safe around a man... well, Eric happened.
I need to be careful. It's too soon, and I don't know any of them that well, and the pregnancy hormones are probably playing a role, too.
But a big part of it is just the sheer fact that I've rarely been shown so much care, never been treated so well by any man I've ever dated, and it pisses me off because if I had known men like them existed, I wouldn't have wasted as much time on the losers I was with in the past.
So at the very least, this experience has been a giant boost for my self-esteem and has recalibrated my standards.
But this feels like it can only end in disaster, and all I can do is wait for it to happen.
I turn over and close my eyes, resigning myself.
If all that awaits me is a crash, I might as well enjoy the ride.
I don't manage to get enough sleep, and as expected, I wake up with eye bags the next day.
"Great," I murmur to my reflection. Luckily, it's not terrible.
I hide it as best as I can with concealer, but I don’t know how well it works because when my brother sees me the next day, he frowns.
He gestures for me to step into his office, and closes the door behind us. “Now I know I approved of your relationship with Adam and all, but not if he’s going to keep you up all night.”
“Okay, first of all, my relationships don’t need your approval, all almighty,” I start. "And you talking about my boyfriend keeping me up all night is skirting dangerously close to you discussing my sex life.”
“Boyfriend?” He raises an eyebrow, “So Adam is your boyfriend now?”
I blush. “Slip of the tongue.”
"Yeah, more like a Freudian slip." Disgust twists his face, though he has a twinkle in his eyes.
“Adam is a good guy,” he said begrudgingly. “He’s solid despite his wild past."
"And what do you know about his wild past?" I cross my arms over my chest.
"You know just the normal stuff. Jake used to drag him to the parties, and they would have these crazy one-night stands." He shrugs and adds, "I even heard they would share women at one point. Like threesomes and such. Isn't that insane?"
"Yeah," I swallow past the knot in my throat. "Insane."
"But one thing about Adam is that he's very responsible and mature. He didn't want to settle down at first, so he played the field, but I've always thought that when he was done doing that, he would make someone a good husband and father. So I’m thinking August wedding.”
"Oh my gosh, goodbye." I roll my eyes, and my brother’s laughter follows me as I open the door and head out.
Only to run right into the chest of none other than Jake.
I gasp and step back as he gives me a roguish smile, and heat spreads across my face. Did he hear what we were talking about?
“What are you doing here?" I ask.
“I’m the face of the company, remember? If we're doing press, I'm the representative."
“Oh, right." Of course, I remember. I sent him the talking points earlier this week, prepping him for what was to come.
But just seeing him here, and his ocean scent washing over me, has my brain fighting for its life. Heat fills up my face.
“Erm, yeah, sorry for bumping into you like that,” I say. "And forgetting"
“Don’t be,” he says, and his finger brushes my cheek. “I forget things when I'm around you, too."
Before I can do more than draw in breath and try to get my brain to work again after it’s been scrambled by the sheer force of his presence, the door behind me opens, and James says, “How many times do I have to tell you to stay away from my sister, Jake?”
“I mean, we do work together.” Jake doesn’t step away from me immediately, nor does he drop his hand, and for the life of me, I can’t find the strength to pull away from him, at least not at first.
“Working together doesn’t mean touching her whenever you want,” he says. “She’s a taken woman."
Taken woman? What is this, the nineteenth century?
“Is that so?” Jake says.
“I know you didn’t have any respect for my relationship, but I thought you would at least value Adam’s."
The strange tension in the air is amplified by the statement; the frost in James' tone obvious. Jake backs off from me, still staring at my brother, and I take the opportunity to escape and get started on the day.
However, that's not the end of the animosity.
It bleeds out during the press conference, and James stares at Jake hard throughout the entire conference, so much so that the reporter has to tell him several times to get his eyes back on the camera.
Jake, for his part, gets caught staring at me an inordinate number of times, so much that Stacey asks me once again if anything's going on between us at lunch.
I, of course, deny it fervently, but my brother calls me back to his office again to warn me about Jake and the type of things he would do to me.
I try not to roll my eyes during his description of Jake as a boogeyman who goes around dropping panties and ruining lives.
Not that I think Jake is innocent, but it's so exaggerated I can't even take it seriously.
I know that a part of it is pain. He’s still hurt about what happened with his ex, but he has to let it go. It wasn’t Jake’s fault. Maybe a little bit for not clarifying that the girl was single, but ultimately, if she hadn’t slept with Jake, she would have slept with someone else.
Of course, it’s hard to get a word in edge-wise with my brother when he starts in on his rants, and probably any attempt to defend Jake will make things worse.
So I just remain silent, give him a few approving murmurs, and allow him to move on, knowing fully well that my date with Jake is on the weekend.
Throughout the week, I text all three of them. Adam checks in the most and wants to know how I'm feeling. Sam sends me pictures of his sculptures, and we trade jokes about when we think aliens are finally going to visit.
Jake drops hints about the date, although he refuses to tell me exactly what we're doing.
My conversations with all of them flow so smoothly, so easily, it's like I've known them my whole life. Juggling all that should feel uncomfortable or guilt-inducing, but it doesn't.
I finally figured out what the date is when Jake wakes me up before the ass crack of dawn in beach attire.
I stare at him blearily while he beams. "You ready?"
"For what?"
"Your surfing lesson."
I blink. "You're kidding."
"Nope," I recall now that I mentioned wanting to learn surfing as a kid, but I lived 5 hours from the beach. I can't believe he remembered an off-handed comment like that and planned an entire date around it.
Despite that, I get excited. I rarely have time to go to the beach lately, so now that I have this opportunity, I don't want to waste it.
"Okay," I smile and scramble into my room to don my bathing suit.
After the hour-and-a-half drive to the Jersey shore, the sun is finally coming up, and the waves are 'perfect' according to Jake.
He gets me on the board as soon as possible, coaching me into how to paddle and stand at takeoff.
Mostly, I get distracted by his hands brushing my waist and positioning me.
I wipe out every single time I'm supposed to mount.
He laughs, his eyes twinkle. "You're terrible at this."
"Yeah, well, you're only good at it because you've had time to practice." When he demonstrated the move, he made it look so easy. "Let me guess, you're a surfer boy."
"Yup. Originally from Cali."
"Did you move here for college?"
"Kinda. Also moved here because California has a few more people than I like."
I don't know what that means.
"Let's go one more time," he says. "Remember to push up to your feet first, then stand. It's not hard."
"Easy for you to say," I mutter, but this time, I actually almost get it. I'm shaken on the ascent, but I manage to stand for a whole two seconds before the wave knocks me off my feet.
I'm sputtering, and Jake is laughing as he fishes me out. I'm laughing too, though I'm pretty sure some of the salt water got in my nostrils.
That's until something in the distance catches my attention.
I'm not sure, but the broadness of the back and the dark hair remind me of my brother.
My heart stops there. Shit.
Not again. He can't see me with Jake. He would lose his mind, and I'd have to explain to him...
God, I can't. I just can't.
Without thinking, I jump on Jake, falling against him as I shove him to the ground.