30. Jake
JAKE
My body immediately comes alive when she jumps on me, cock hardening.
Who am I kidding? I was already hard as rock watching her ass jiggle on that surfboard.
Her body is insane in that bikini, and every time she moved, my cock jumped and wept in response.
So many times, I had to grit my teeth to keep my hands from wandering, to keep from dragging her to a quiet corner and just ravishing her.
Right now, with my back on the sand, the cold water rushing against my back, that's all I can think of.
"Okay," she breathes, turning to me. "Maybe I was mista–"
I don't let her finish the sentence, dragging her lips to mine.
The clearing of the throat doesn't pull me away. I don't think there's a force on Earth strong enough to pull me away from her right now.
She's just so fucking sweet. Her soft lips and her tongue taste like the coffee she had on the way here, and the seawater, some of which she probably drank in her wipeouts.
I kiss her as tenderly as I can manage, running my hands through her hair, savoring the way her body shivers against mine. She feels so perfect, tastes so perfect, and being with her today has been so... terrifyingly perfect.
I've been in a bad mood all week for reasons I can't put my finger on. I was skirting the edge of doing something stupid and picking a fight with Adam or Sam for no reason.
But seeing her drove all of that away.
In this moment, as our tongues tangle and our hearts beat as one, things couldn't be more right in the world.
Until the bastard clears his throat again and she starts pulling away from me.
No.
I cup my hands on the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. She moans as she falls into the rhythm again, her teeth skimming my bottom lip as she sucks it into her mouth. My cock jumps against her thigh.
Hell yeah.
"Excuse me, this is a family-friendly beach," the bastard says in a nasally voice, and this time she pats my chest, a clear signal for me to let her go.
Fuck me and fuck that guy.
I let her go reluctantly, and she straightens, shooting him an apologetic look before glancing in the distance again. I take some time to admire her, the way her body looks silhouetted against the sunlight, her skin, her gorgeous curves.
"What are you looking for?" I murmur lazily as the guy moves away.
"My brother."
I don't know what I was expecting her to say, but it wasn't that. "Huh?"
"James. I thought I saw him, or someone who looked like him. But I guess I was mistaken because that is totally not him."
I frown, the connections forming in my mind. "Is that why you tackled me to the ground?"
"Yeah." She shoots me an apologetic smile. "I didn't want him to see us together. That would have been a disaster."
Suddenly, all the warm fuzzy feelings die, and it's like a bucket of cold water poured on me.
"A disaster, huh?"
Her smile dims, as though noting my change in mood. Her eyebrow wrinkles up in that adorable way of hers. "Did I say something?"
"Nope." I force a smile as I shift her off me and get to our feet. "Let's clean up so we can eat."
"Oh, okay." Her voice sounds unsure, and throughout the meal, though I try to keep things upbeat, I can tell she notices the change. She asks about it, but I don't want to get into it, choosing instead to pretend everything's fine.
I even kiss her goodbye on her cheek after I drive her home, turning down her offer to come in for a drink.
Then I go back home, get in the gym, and beat the shit out of my punching bag.
Let’s get one thing out of the way: I’m not proud of how I acted at the end of that date.
I’m not proud of how I feel, yet I can’t fucking stop myself from feeling it.
The concern in her eyes makes it worse, the obvious apprehension.
God, I hate being this guy. I want to be the cool, easy breezy guy that she’s used to, the one who makes her feel good, and never makes her concerned for his mental status.
But no, now I’m the guy trying so hard to pretend he’s not salty about the fact that she was okay with introducing Adam as her boyfriend but not me. Which is incredibly stupid.
Logically, I understand why she went to such lengths to hide me.
Out of all three of us, I’m the one her brother likes the least, and knowing she was there with me would lead to an implosion of drama with disastrous consequences.
So I tried to be okay with it, and tried to tell myself that I didn’t need to be the one she introduced to her brother.
Heck, I’ve never been the type of guy to even care about something like that, and usually, I like the freedom that comes with no expectations.
But not with her
With her, I want the expectations. I want her to hold hands proudly with me and call me her…something. It doesn’t even matter what. It just irked me being hidden like a dirty secret, especially knowing that there was another man she was more than happy to be seen with.
I brush my hand over my face again and hit it again. Fucking idiot.
And it’s not like I don’t know that some of my issues are linked back to childhood trauma. Never feeling good enough. Knowing that I was given away and basically forgotten is like an unhealed wound in my chest.
It sucked.
But my inherent jealousy has a deeper, darker layer to it. It's genetic. My father was an extremely jealous man. He was also an abusive piece of shit who used his jealousy as an excuse to hit my mother.
He's the reason why I avoid romantic attachments like the plague. I don’t want to be like him. I'm terrified I'll become him, but every day with Chelsea, I feel myself getting closer and closer.
The door opens and closes behind me. Adam by the sound of his footsteps. I’m hoping that he notices my mood and goes back up to his room, but I should have already known that he’s far too nosy for that.
"Rough day?" he calls out.
I ignore him, hoping it will make him go away. Then again, he’s Adam, and it takes a lot more than that to get rid of him when he decides to latch on like a mosquito.
“How was your date?"
Once again, I don’t answer.
“I'm guessing based on your expression that you said or did something stupid out of your irrational jealousy and ruined it for all of us.”
“I wasn’t jealous.”
He coughs up a laugh. “Yeah, you weren’t jealous. Of course not. Which is why you're here beating the shit out of poor Merl.”
My breath puffs out at the stupid name that he gave the punching bag. “We almost ran into James.”
"Did you, now?” His voice doesn’t sound surprised for whatever reason, but I’m not in the frame of mind to evaluate why at that point.
“Yeah. And she basically shoved me to the ground so he wouldn't see us.
" At first, I thought she'd tripped or perhaps even intentionally pushed me so that we could get a little handsy.
My body had immediately woken up, feeling her against my chest, my heart racing.
The kiss had made birds sing in my head.
But then she’d dropped the bombshell. She’d revealed that the only reason she’d done it was to get me out of sight.
“I’m not sure I can do this," I admit.
“Do what?”
“Be the cool guy. Watch her be with the two of you and want you more than me.”
“Is that what you think is happening?”
“It's not about what I think. It’s obviously what’s happening. She introduced you to her brother. She and Sam have these secret looks all the time and all the inside jokes. All we have is sexual chemistry.”
“Really? You haven’t seen the way she laughs when she’s with you.”
"So I’m a funny guy. So what?"
"So, you can keep devaluing your connection with her just so you can sulk and feel sorry for yourself. Or you can use your two brain cells and think for a second."
"You know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking that she was perfectly fine with introducing you as her boyfriend to Adam, but not me."
"Look, the thing with her brother wasn’t intentional at all.
He caught us red-handed. I’m sure she would have tried to hide in my case, too, if she could, but unfortunately, she couldn’t because he’d already seen us kiss by the time we saw him, and that pretty much damned everything.
If it makes you feel any better, he wanted to kill me. "
My fist lands with a dull thud, and Merl swings back at the force. “What happened next?"
"Well, I talked to him. Let him know that I was dating her seriously, and I wasn’t just having fun with her. It took some talking, but he eventually calmed down."
"He did?"
"Well, he still wanted to take my head off, but I think he was just happy I wasn’t you."
I glare at him, and he grins.
"To be fair, I'm not the one who fucked his girlfriend."
"I didn't know she was his fucking girlfriend!"
"Easy now. I was just kidding."
I grunt, landing another strike to the Merl's midsection.
"Now, why don't you say what you’re really scared of?"
"I'm not scared."
“Yes, you are. I love you, man, but I'm not going to lie to you. You have deep-seated mommy issues that you should probably go to therapy for. "
"Fuck off. I don’t need therapy."
"Yes, you do. You should try it, it works wonders."
"Oh yeah?" I mock. "It worked on you?"
"Believe it or not, yes. But even if it didn't, you need to try something, or you're going to ruin this for yourself and for all of us. You’re not actually jealous of Sam or me. What you are is insecure in your connection with her because you’ve never let yourself be that connected with anyone before.
You love sex, but you always run when it gets even a little bit serious. You avoid intimacy like the plague."
"So do you."
"Yes, but I’ve had a girlfriend before, at least one. We broke up, but I know what it’s like to be vulnerable with a woman. The only people you’ve ever been vulnerable with are us, and even then, it’s like pulling teeth to get you to open up sometimes."
"Talking about Sam or me?"
"The two of you are more alike than you know. Except he hides his with silence, and you do it with humor. I mean, it makes sense. You both have similar backgrounds in starkly different directions–"
"Okay, I'm really not here for the psychoanalysis. I get it. You can go."
He remains, and when I turn to him, he merely smiles.
"Just talk to her," he says. "Admit to your issues."
"You think she'll care?"
"Of course," he says, giving me a knowing look as he leaves. "Who do you think called me to check in on you in the first place?"
That gets me to stop fighting, my mind freezing. "She did?"
I don't know what expression I'm making, but it makes him chuckle as he walks away.