12. Brandon
CHAPTER 12
Anya's ex-partner is unaware of Kira's existence, leading me to believe he doesn't know that she is his daughter.
Strangely enough, this makes me even more curious if she could be mine. I've researched everything possible on conception and have even consulted a doctor friend from my time in the navy force to go over my timeline. All evidence indicates that Kira's age lines up with how old she would be if she was indeed my child. The temptation to find out for sure is strong, but I am hesitant to bring it up with Anya until I am absolutely certain.
It's a delicate subject that could potentially cause more harm than good if not handled carefully. Despite trying to push it out of my thoughts, the question of Kira's paternity lingers in the back of my mind, growing stronger with each passing day. It feels like something unfinished that won't let me rest until I know the truth. If it turns out that she is mine, I would want to be a part of her life, but perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.
“Did you mean it when you said you would kiss me again if you ever got another chance?” Anya’s blue eyes hold mine as she waits for my answer. She hasn’t changed one bit; she’s still just as bold, and her smiles are still just as contagious.
The fact that she's a mother doesn't bother me. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to climb out of this dark place and make something of myself, even if it means competing for her affections. But there's another complication - she used to date Spencer. He wouldn't approve if he knew what I was thinking, but that doesn't stop me from nodding in agreement. "Yes," I respond with a sigh. It's not as straightforward as I hoped it would be.
Anya’s expression softens at my statement. A charming smile takes up the entirety of her beautiful face. “It's okay, Brandon,” she says gently. “I understand how complicated everything is. I’ll forgive you if we ever have that kiss.”
“And if we don’t?” I ask, disregarding the hunch I already have of what her answer might be.
She shrugs. “No forgiveness. Nothing good comes easy.”
My lips curl. I’m more than grateful she’s back to her old playful self. “I think I’ll have to make that kiss happen then.”
A sudden tension seizes my body at those words.
It feels like a sharp crack in my soul, every nerve in my body feels alive with energy, pulsing and vibrating with intensity. My mind races with thoughts and emotions - our lips meeting, the gentle brush of her fingers against my skin, the electric current that pulsed between us. We kissed - a single, fleeting moment that left an incredible mark on my heart. It’s like a part of me that had been caged for so long has finally broken free.
Anya gently grasped my head with both hands, pulling me closer to her. Our kiss is sweet and tender, our breaths entwining as we melt into each other. The taste of her on my lips is just as intoxicating as the very first time we had shared a kiss. It was like coming home after a long journey - familiar yet exhilarating all at once. In that moment, there is nothing else in the world but the two of us, lost in our own little bubble of blissful affection.
I yearn for the feeling of her body against mine, the warmth and the electricity, and all the taboo delights we can share.
However, I must control myself. I do not want to expose her to my troubled mind or burden her with the weight of the darkness that has been haunting me. I pull away from the kiss and gaze at her with all my heart. "You are incredible and I want to spend more time with you," I say with sincerity. "I will tell you about the mission when the timing is right. Please be patient with me, I don't want to hurt you again and I promise I will do everything I can to make it right this time." I wonder if Anya will become irritated, but she just smiles at me and nods in understanding. So I continue: “During dinner the other day, you mentioned wanting to make more money while having the time to take care of Kira. I have been thinking of hiring someone to babysit Alessa for a while. My mother is doing a good job at it already, but I’d prefer if she has someone younger and fitter around her,” I continue, choosing my words carefully. “And I think you'd be the perfect fit for the job.”
Her eyes widen in surprise, but she doesn't dismiss the idea outright.
She’s witty, I’m not surprised she caught on so quickly. Yes. I think it’ll have a good influence on Alessa if she spends time around Anya, whose energy is unmatched. Who is intelligent, hardworking, and a great mother from what I’ve seen. If I could get married and choose a mother for my daughter, it would be someone like Anya.
“I’m a single mother, Brandon. I don’t know how much of a good influence I’ll be to your daughter.”
“You are an amazing woman and mother. And it’s also not your fault you got knocked up by an asshole.”
A slow, teasing smile quirks her lips. “Careful how you speak about my baby daddy, Brandon.”
I don’t want to be careful. If Anya couldn’t open up to him about being pregnant, then he’s not reliable. That is what I think at least.
What if it’s you, asshole?
“No offense,” I tell her.
“None taken,” she replies.
She taps her temple as my offer sinks in. "With Kira being so young, I already have my hands full," she ponders. "Looking after another child would be a big commitment." She pauses before adding, "But if it is a sweet kid like Alessa and you can trust me, I would love to take on the job. Although it will be a little pricy."
I meet her gaze and stand by my words without hesitation. "I trust you completely," I assure her. As an overprotective father, I am cautious about who I allow near my daughter. "My mother has told me how great you are with Kira and if you're willing to take on this role, I'm willing to pay whatever you ask for."
Anya’s laugh reverberates in the empty clinic. “You’re being too serious. Now I sound like some girl trying to rip you off with some cash.”
“I’m willing to do anything for my daughter.”
I swear I see something flash in Anya’s eyes. It’s a blend of sadness and something else that looks like longing, but it quickly disappears before I can read much meaning into it.
“What arrangement works best for you? I’ll have to check if it goes with my schedule.”
“I’ll drop her off at your place at noon since you work only in the morning.”
“Fine. I’ll babysit Alessa,” Anya finally says, to my relief. “But I’m not taking money from you. I’m only doing this because Alessa is a cool kid. I enjoy her company.”
“You sure about that?”
“I am. In return, I’ll ask you for a favor later.”
With a sense of relief, I nod my head in agreement. "Thank you, Anya," I say, feeling like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. She smiles at me, but behind her smile, I can't shake the feeling that she is hiding something from me. As much as I want to kiss her again, I feel the migraine creeping back into my mind. Not wanting to appear weak in front of the woman I admire so greatly, I give her a quick kiss on the forehead and leave.
“Hey, man,” Spencer says, looking up briefly from his laptop. He’s taking a few courses on cybersecurity online since he lost his last job in New York a few months back and has been fixated on them for over a week now.
“Hey.” I walk to the fridge and grab a can of soda. Pulling off the cap and taking a seat at the table, I pour the icy, bubbly liquid down my throat with some pain killers and groan as I feel it slide all the way down to my stomach.
My brother is looking at me with raised brows when I finish drinking. “You alright, man? That was one long gulp.”
I swipe the back of my hand over my lips. “I’m fine.”
A thought rushes up my head. If I’m not Kira’s dad, there’s a good chance it is Spencer, since Anya dated him for a while before we met.
Spencer hasn't bothered to ask any questions or make any effort to find out the truth. This could mean that he either doesn't know about Anya's baby, or he's sure that it's not his. Despite being a bit of an asshole, Spencer is not the kind of guy who would just leave a girl pregnant and move on with his life.
"Do you have any idea who the father of Anya's baby is?" I inquire after thinking for a moment.
My brother freezes, slowly raising his eyes and opening his mouth in surprise. Clearly, he knows that Kira exists, but he must not know all the details. "Are you seriously asking me about Anya's baby daddy?"
I nod. "Apparently, he doesn't even know about Kira."
"Did Anya never tell him about their daughter?"
I nod again.
He covers his mouth. “Wow! It means he must be someone she doesn’t trust or want to be a part of her life. Someone like…me?”
I frown at the thought of that. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I only told you in case you would know. You’re her ex, you’d know if there were any guys around her.”
“Like you said, we’re exes. Although there’s a chance I am Kira’s father, considering her age and when Anya and I broke up.”
He does have a point. I met her around the same time they broke up, so he could also be Kira’s dad. I desperately hope he isn’t, not after his blatant disrespect toward Anya. Even if they’re exes, and especially since they became exes because he cheated, it’s best if they have nothing to do with each other. Having a daughter together means they’ll have to co-parent, and Anya will be really off-limits if that happens.
“But if I’m not the father, who could the father be?” my brother muses, his brow furrowed in confusion. “How old exactly is the kid?”
“A year and three months.” I steeple my fingers under my chin.
“I initially thought it would only be a year and a half, tops. Anya and I had stopped being intimate for couple months before we broke up, so there's no way of knowing if Kira is actually mine."
I give him a skeptical look. "You mean to say that during those months of neglecting your relationship, you were actually cheating on Anya with other women?”
He raises his hands defensively. “Don’t judge me, bro.”
“I’d like to, but I don’t have time to waste on you.” I huff out an exhale.
He rolled his eyes, “So she wouldn’t say who the father is?”
I shake my head, my mind racing with unanswered questions.
My brother skewers me with a surprised look. “Why do you even care who her baby daddy is, man?”
“You’re curious too. I wonder why,” I retort calmly.
“She’s my ex, obviously.” he says.
“Key word, ex-girlfriend. Sounds like you have as much right over Anya as I do, which is zero.” I should be treading carefully, but I’m a little more worried about Kira being my daughter than I am about Spencer finding out what type of relationship I had with Anya in the past.
My heart aches at the thought of missing out on Kira's growth. The mere idea of not being there for her prenatal period, her birth, her first walk, her first word fills me with profound regret. Not because I do not want Kira as my daughter - quite the opposite. I would be consumed with self-loathing if I were to miss these precious moments. This little girl deserves a devoted father, and despite my personal reservations, I will make sure to step up and fulfill that role for her, if she were mine.
“Does the little girl look like me?”
I ignore Spencer’s question. I can’t share the raging thoughts in my head with him because I have no freaking idea how he’ll take it. My brother can be quite intense sometimes. Dealing with him won’t be fun.
Leaning back in my seat, I finish my soda. I think I’ve been able to piece the puzzle together. The date, the uncanny resemblance, the father who doesn’t know she is his; there’s no way all of it is just a coincidence.
Based on the passionate kiss we shared earlier, it's highly unlikely that Anya slept with another man within a few days after she slept with me. Therefore, it's safe to say that the child is mine.