23. Jess
Afew days later, Jess let the girls lead her up the back steps to Mary’s house.
It was late afternoon, and there was already plenty going on outside, but she pretended she hadn’t seen the pretty tablecloths on the picnic tables, or the bowls and vases of flowers on them. Someone had even made a paper banner and hung it from the branches of the gumbo limbo tree.
“Oh, maybe they forgot,” Liberty said loudly. “Let’s go check the dining room.”
Jess tried to hide her smile.
This was classic McKinnon birthday nonsense. And, as her girls would say, Jess was here for it. Back when they were all kids, it wasn’t a birthday at the McKinnon house if there wasn’t a surprise, or a scavenger hunt, or even a fake kidnapping.
Though she suspected that now they were all grown up, this was probably more of a regular surprise party.
Anthem darted ahead and flicked on the dining room light switch.
“Surprise,” many voices yelled.
McKinnon kids jumped up from behind the table and chairs, and Mary slipped out from behind the curtains, laughing.
“Wow,” Jess laughed. “That was amazing.”
“Did we trick you?” a little boy asked.
“You sure did,” she told him. “You must be one of Becca’s grandsons.”
“Yes,” he chirped. “I’m Jeb, I’m six. And that’s my great grandma.”
He was pointing to Mary, who beamed at him.
“It’s lovely to meet you, Jeb,” Jess told him. “My name is Jess and those are my daughters, Liberty, Anthem, and Glory.”
“Glory played with Fern,” Jeb said wisely. “A different time. That’s my little sister.”
“Okay, Jeb,” Mary said. “What do you think about having a nice birthday dinner?”
“Yes,” Jeb said with enthusiasm. “Is there potato salad?”
“Of course there is,” Mary told him. “That’s your Uncle Kyle’s favorite thing to bring.”
Jess pulled a tin of macadamia nuts from her bag. Everyone had told her she couldn’t bring anything on her own birthday, but she just couldn’t arrive empty-handed.
“Oh, amazing,” Connor said, taking it from her. “Look, guys, Jess brought macadamia nuts.”
“Are you glad you didn’t get kidnapped?” Clint asked, coming up beside her with a smile.
“Very,” Jess laughed.
“Well, just know it was a close call, and mine was the deciding vote against,” Clint said, winking.
“I guess that means I owe you one,” Jess said.
“I guess it does,” he said thoughtfully. “Come on, let’s get out there before these vultures eat everything.”
Glory had already found Liam’s son, Dylan, who was about her age and the two of them were curled up in the window seat, talking and laughing like they had known each other all their lives.
Liberty was chatting with Anna in the corner, both of them smiling. And Jess could hear that Anthem had found the old piano in the sitting room. She was playing her go-to song, “When I’m Sixty-Four” by the Beatles, and humming along.
“Is that Anthem?” Clint asked.
“Yes,” Jess said. “I swear she can smell a piano a mile away.”
“She’s amazing on her guitar,” Clint said. “I didn’t know she played piano, too.”
“I made all the girls take piano lessons when they were little,” Jess said. “The other two wanted to quit immediately. So did Anthem, which broke the teacher’s heart because she showed such promise. I bribed her to keep going for two more years.”
“How?” Clint asked.
“Ice cream after every lesson,” Jess laughed.
“She must be glad now,” Clint said grinning.
“I like to think so,” Jess said. “She learned to read music from those lessons, and I’m sure that’s helped her with guitar. Plus, she tried all thirty-one ice cream flavors, so she really knows which ones are her favorites now.”
“Peppermint,” Anthem called from the other room.
“Your relationship with your girls is really special,” Clint said gruffly.
“Thank you,” Jess said, pride blooming in her chest. “They’re wonderful young women. It means the world to me that they want to spend time here, with all of us together.”
They headed out to the backyard, which really did look magical. Fairy lights were strung from the clothesline and a few of the palm trees. The pretty paisley tablecloths were almost completely covered with dishes of her favorite foods, and the usual family favorites, too. And the homemade banner on the gumbo limbo was painted pink letters that said:
Happy Half-a-Hundred-Years, Jess! We love you!
“Half-a-Hundred-Years, amazing,” Jess laughed when she saw it. “Who made this?”
“Anna, of course,” Clint said.
Jess nodded. Anna had always been the artistic one. Now she used that skill at her bakery.
They headed to the tables and Clint handed her a plate. Family members greeted her, asking about how the girls were doing, how the house was, and what was happening down at the flower shop.
Though they were all grown-up now, the evening still had the feel of the warm nights Jess remembered from when they were kids, enjoying good food and each other’s company.
When Jess was certain she couldn’t eat another bite, Mary stood up and clinked her glass with a fork.
“Okay, family,” she called to her brood. “Why don’t you go play on the beach and watch the sunset while Anna and I finish up with dessert?”
Everyone laughed because that was exactly what Mary used to say after supper when they were smaller.
“Are we really going to go play on the beach?” Jess asked.
“You heard the lady,” Clint told her.
One by one, everyone headed inside with their cups and dishes until the tables were cleared. Jess moved to the sink to wash up, but Mary caught her.
“Oh, no, no, no, young lady,” Mary said. “The birthday girl can’t be on dish duty. Go enjoy yourself.”
When she saw that Kyle and Connor were rolling up their sleeves and heading for the sink, Jess nodded and went back out to join the others to find Clint waiting for her. The girls had seemed to take turns hanging out with her, but Clint had been by her side all night. They headed through the gate and down the path between the mangroves toward the beach.
“We don’t cut it back as often these days,” he said. “Just enough to qualify for the exception.”
“Right,” Jess said. “I had forgotten they were protected these days.”
“It’s for the best,” Clint said. “I don’t know how the resort was able to remove as much as they did.”
“It’s cut into your brother’s business?” Jess asked.
“They make a lot of noise,” he said shrugging. “It scares the fish. And they don’t have as many places to hide as babies. Plus, Connor used to do more of the boat tours and scuba diving with our tourists and locals. Now, everyone wants an excuse to go to the resort, and they offer that kind of stuff with a day pass.”
“That’s a shame,” Jess said, meaning it.
“Oh, he’ll do okay,” Clint said. “He might just have to start thinking outside the box a little.”
Jess nodded and they continued on until she could see the setting sun reflecting in the ocean and hear the waves lapping the shore.
Glory and Dylan were already wading and splashing each other. Liam and Liberty were sitting in the sand helping little Jeb make a castle, while Becca walked with two-year old Fern on her hip, telling her about the ocean.
And Anthem was playing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”on the ukulele that lived on one of Mary’s built-in bookshelves. Connor had played that same song on it when they were teens.
“Kind of like old times, huh?” Clint asked.
“I loved it here,” Jess sighed. “I still do.”
She held back the words that were in her heart. That this felt like home. That she was meant to be here. That she never wanted to leave…
They slipped off their shoes and headed down the shoreline, away from the others, without saying a word. Naturally, they fell into a shared pace. After so many walks together, it felt like second nature to explore the familiar beach together. When they had been walking a few minutes, Clint turned to look back and Jess followed his gaze.
Her breath caught in her throat at the sight of the family enjoying time together in the last fiery rays on sunlight.
“I never could leave,” Clint said quietly. “You probably understand that more than anyone else would.”
She nodded, too moved to speak.
“I know you had to leave the first time,” Clint said, his voice a little low. “You were just a kid, and you didn’t have a choice.”
He let that hang in the air between them and for once, she understood what he was thinking as well as if he’d spoken the words aloud.
You don’t have to leave now.
“Glory has her school. It’s her senior year,” she heard herself say. “And Liberty’s life is up there too.”
But somehow, it didn’t ring true. It felt more like excuses than plans. And she was suddenly gripped by an unexpected wave of despair, that threatened to carry her away.
Clint only nodded, and they started walking again, heading back toward the family.
“Cake time,” Mary’s voice called just before they reached the others.
“Perfect timing,” Becca said, looking to Jess. But her smile fell as she saw Jess’s face.
Too late, Jess realized she must be wearing her sadness and confusion plainly.
“Yes, perfect,” she replied, plastering a smile on her face. “I can’t wait for Anna’s cake.”
Becca wrapped the arm around her that wasn’t holding baby Fern, and led her back to the path through the mangroves.
“You and Clint okay?” Becca asked softly.
“He’s been incredible,” Jess said right away. “He’s helping out with the house just about every day, and he listens to all the girls’ wild stories. He’s a teddy bear, really.”
“But?” Becca asked.
“But nothing,” Jess said, feeling protective.
“He wants you to stay,” Becca said, like it was a fact.
“He hasn’t exactly said so,” Jess said.
“He will,” Becca told her. “And you’d better know what you’re going to say when he does.”
“I’ve got kids,” Jess said simply. “It’s not about what I want anymore.”
“Ah,” Becca said thoughtfully. “I guess that’s a pretty good answer.”
By the time they stepped back into the backyard, it was fully dark, with the fairy lights casting the tables in a soft glow.
“Happy Birthday to you,” Mary began, as she and Anna came from the kitchen door with the cake.
“Happy Birthday to you,” the others joined in.
Normally Jess was shy, but this was family. She beamed as she looked around the small crowd of people she loved, all singing to her. When the song was over, she looked down at the cake, which was shimmering with candles.
“It’s not quite fifty of them,” Anna whispered with a smile. “But we wanted you to have a whole bunch, so we kept adding them until we ran out of space.”
“Make a wish, sweet girl,” Mary told her.
Jess closed her eyes and found herself wishing for something she never would have imagined two months ago. When she opened her eyes and tried to blow out all the candles, she could see immediately it was going to be impossible.
But then Glory started blowing along with her. Liberty and Anthem joined her, and then Mary started helping too. Together, they managed to extinguish every candle before Jess’s first breath ran out.
The family cheered and Jess laughed.
“Does it still count?” she asked Mary.
“Of course it does,” Mary told her with a wink. “No one said you had to do it alone.”
Jess couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she was talking about more than the cake. Once everyone was done congratulating her, they all settled in at the picnic tables, and Jess cut the cake while Mary added a scoop of chocolate ice cream to each slice, and Anna handed out the plates.
“Vanilla with raspberry filling,” Jess said fondly.
“And buttercream frosting,” Anna said. “I remembered which one was your favorite.”
“Thank you so much for this, Anna,” Jess said.
“It’s my pleasure,” Anna told her. “I’m just so glad you’re here.”
Once everyone had been served, Jess sat between Liberty and Anthem.
“I think it’s time for a toast,” Mary said, lifting her glass of water. “To Jess’s first fifty years, may the next fifty be as sweet as our darling Jess herself.”
Everyone laughed and raised their own glasses.
“To Jess,” Becca said, hopping up. “She’s always made us appreciate what we have.”
Jess bit her lip and tried not to get too emotional.
“To Jess,” Kyle said. “For having the best favorite cake.”
Jess laughed as Kyle ate a giant bite, as if to demonstrate.
“To Mom,” Glory said, hopping up to join in the fun. “And the best summer ever with her Florida family. With our Florida family.”
Jess couldn’t help but get a little choked up at that.
“Hear, hear,” Becca yelled.
The impromptu toasts continued for quite a while, and Jess relaxed into the fun of it all.
“To Jess,” Clint said, finally standing after everyone else had already had their turn.
He gazed at her for a moment. In the soft light, his sandy hair lit up like a halo, and his blue-gray eyes were so serious that they looked dark.
“You make this place feel like home again.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, and she had to press her hand to her mouth to hold in a sob.
“Time for presents,” Becca said quickly. “Pres-ents, pres-ents, pres-ents…”
The others joined in the chant and a few people dashed into the house.
“You okay, Mom?” Liberty asked softly.
“I just get emotional sometimes,” Jess said, nodding. “You know me.”
“What happened?” Glory joked from across the table. “Did someone play ‘Piano Man?’”
Jess rolled her eyes and laughed.
“You don’t like that song?” Anna asked, looking concerned. “That’s a really great song, Jess.”
“Oh no,” Glory said. “She loves it. She cries when she’s happy, and when she’s sad, and sometimes when a song is just too good she also cries. Right, Mom?”
“It’s true,” Jess said. “I’m a crier.”
The next thing she knew, there were three presents in front of her.
“This one first, I think,” Mary said, patting a flat, floppy package.
Jess unwrapped it and found a beautifully lumpy knitted sweater inside.
“It’s wonderful,” she said.
“I made that for you,” Mary told her. “When you go back up north, I want you to take a little piece of us with you.”
Jess wrapped her arms around her foster mom and hugged her tightly.
“Oh, heavens,” Mary said. “You’ll make me a crier too.”
Next, she opened a smaller rectangle that was a tattered copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude.
“That was your favorite when you lived here,” Becca told her. “And we were all so upset when we realized after you left that we forgot to give it to you.”
So, not just a copy, but the copy. Jess hugged the book to her chest and then opened it. Sure enough Louis McKinnon was scrawled on the inside cover.
“It was Dad’s,” Anna said softly from her seat beside Glory.
Jess reached across the table to place her hand over Anna’s, unable to speak.
“Now, this last one is both heavy and delicate,” Mary said. “So maybe open it on the table.”
Everyone was leaning in, and Jess wondered what it could possibly be.
She pulled off the paper and found a cardboard box that looked like it contained a lamp from IKEA. It was kind of an odd gift, but Jess supposed she could aways use another lamp.
“It’s not a lamp,” Clint said.
She looked up and nodded at him. He had moved closer, as if wanting to see what was in the box, or maybe wanting to see her reaction to it. She slid her finger under the tape that held the top together, and then opened the flaps.
“Oh,” she said, realizing there was a delicate-looking glass orb inside.
“Do you want me to lift it out for you?” Clint asked.
“Please,” she said, stepping back.
“Okay,” he said.
She watched as he lifted the mystery object and placed it on the table in front of her.
“Oh,” she said. “Oh, wow…”
The glass orb was perched on a flat base, and looked almost exactly like a large snow globe, except that instead of a snowy scene, inside it was a miniature beach.
There was sand, tiny shells, and a shimmering pearl. And on a little ledge in the center stood a tiny house that was an exact replica of the one they currently sat outside of, right down to the newly painted shutters.
The whole thing was set in a beautiful swirl of driftwood that looked almost like an ocean wave itself.
“How did you do this?” Jess murmured.
“Well,” Becca said. “Connor collected sand from our beach, and Kyle found the tiny seashells. The pearl is from me, do you remember the earrings I borrowed from you?”
“And then you lost one,” Jess said, smiling so Becca would know she wasn’t unhappy about it.
“I found it after you left and, well, I doubt you still have the other one,” Becca said.
“They were very much fake,” Jess laughed. “That’s really the same pearl?”
“That’s the one,” Becca said, nodding. “Anna painted the little house. She found it at the craft store.”
“And Clint made the base,” Anna said.
“You made that?” Jess asked, turning to Clint.
“I like to play around with driftwood in my free time,” he said shrugging.
How had she been spending so much time with him and not known that? Jess thought back and could only really picture him offering up stories about his work. She made a mental note to ask him more questions about his personal life.
“He’s being modest,” Anna said. “He makes the most beautiful things out of driftwood.”
“Clint,” Jess breathed, looking at her beach globe again. “It’s… it’s beautiful. All of you. I love it. Thank you so much.”
Mary got out the tea kettle and everyone sipped from the very best china—delicate, gold-rimmed teacups Louis’s grandmother had left to him.
By the time Jess realized it was time to go, Mary had wrapped up a big reusable shopping bag of leftovers for her to take home.
“You and the girls can enjoy all this again tomorrow,” Mary said, pulling Jess in for a warm hug.
Jess held onto her tightly for an extra breath, wishing she could freeze the moment and never have to let go.
“There’s one more thing,” Mary told her, pulling back. “Just a little something from me.”
She pulled a little pouch from her apron pocket and handed it to Jess.
“Oh, Mary,” she sighed, already guessing what it was as she reached inside.
Sure enough, she pulled out a necklace. It was a simple strand with a stack of sea glass as a pendant. Jess lifted the necklace to admire it and the pretty little glass stones seemed to glow up from within with the fairy lights behind them.
“Just like mine,” Mary said. “You always used to love it.”
“Thank you so much,” Jess told her, pulling her into another fierce hug and willing herself not to cry.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Jess,” Mary whispered.
“Me too,” Jess told her honestly.
The others gathered to say goodbye and Jess felt like she was in some kind of happy dream, surrounded by the people she had secretly thought of as family for all these years.
“That was a really good birthday, Mom,” Glory said on the way to the car. “Don’t you think?”
“The very best birthday,” Jess agreed.
Liberty put an arm around her shoulder, as if knowing instinctively that her mom was feeling emotional.
Anthem had the box containing the beach globe in both arms, and was carefully setting it in the trunk, but she looked over to them and smiled.
“Do you like being fifty after all, Mom?” she asked.
“I think I do,” Jess decided. “I recommend that all of you try it at least once.”
The girls laughed, and as she got in the driver’s seat, Jess felt surer and more certain of herself than she ever had before.