Chapter 2
Edgar
Astillness hangs heavily in my room. I sit at the edge of my bed, hunched over with my hands clasped, my chin resting against them. My thoughts are burdened with blood and hatred. A darkness has moved into the chambers of my heart. My mother’s emerald necklace hangs ominously from my neck, slightly twirling and reflecting light onto the glossy black tiles.
A small knock sounds from my door. Then a small hollow voice. “Edgar? Are you okay?”
Lucina.
I narrow my eyes at the floor and remain silent. Never in my life have I craved to be alone, but now it’s an insatiable urge. I want to be alone, I need to be alone.
I much prefer silence since arriving. No one has anything to say that can take my pain away. A part of me wishes I never got my memories back. If I had thrown myself off the cliff and remained foolish, then at least I would be dead and not plagued with the horrid truth.
The terrors I crave to unleash upon Fernestia and all who helped them.
Oh, how I wish I remained ignorant.
The ghost of myself that haunted me at Za’Afiel Sanctum, Sully, tells me to feed on the pain. To let it fester and rot because pain turns into power. Is this how villains are made? How monsters’ hands craft other monsters? I’m what’s left—a molded piece of discarded art.
I’m hopeless, angry. What can one man like me do anyway? My power isn’t strong enough for what I want to do… Is it?
“I’m coming in,” Lucina says against the door. I forgot she was there.
She cracks the door open and peeks in. I don’t bother meeting her gaze.
I can’t.
Lucina makes her way through my gloomy room and opens the long, burgundy curtains that I left shut. Light floods in and I wince. She lets out a sigh. “I never got to apologize for what happened back at the manor.” Her fingers nervously fiddle with the ends of her sleeves. “I’m sorry I tried to help Arthur. I didn’t know what all this was until he gave me my memories back. I know it’s not enough, but I really am sorry.”
I look up at her and she holds my gaze. When I don’t respond, she firms her lower lip and nods. Her blue eyes dance with pain.
“After Ash was taken from the manor, we all lost a lot of hope… I didn’t want to lose you too. So I was desperate to do anything to keep you with us.” Her voice is faint and filled with sadness. I manage to nod. I know Lucina’s heart is pure.
She looks disappointed that I have nothing to say, and she mutters, “There’s someone here to see you.” She turns back toward the door. Her white hair is smooth and clean, fresh from a shower and comb. Dressed in her black tactical clothes, she looks like a warrior, someone fit to kill when told to.
She may be beautiful, but she is a mindless fool, jumping when others tell her to.
“I don’t want to talk to anyone right now,” I snap at her.
Lucina turns back at me and frowns. “Well, they’re here whether you like it or not,” she mutters. The sounds of her steps grow distant and are replaced with two sets of others.
I’m reluctant to look up. I know Terra is here and I can’t bear to speak with her.
“Edgar.” Her voice is placid and smooth.
My eyes lift to meet hers and I clench the sheets beneath me. Why is she here? She looks so accepting. I couldn’t stand her fucking face when she walked through the portal, her eyes filled with awe and affection for the men accompanying her. One of them is with her now and it makes my stomach churn with bile.
A large lump forms in the back of my throat, one I’m not sure I can swallow. She is covered in dried blood. Her partner is too. Does she even know what she’s bathed in? This is not the sister I remember. Sully whispers from beneath my skin, She left you to die with your parents. She knew. Is that true? I have no reason to believe that Sully tells the truth, and yet my heart falters.
“What’s become of you? You’re a shell of the sister I knew,” I say in a raspy, hateful voice, my glare burning through her emerald eyes.
Terra’s expression wanes, her eyes widening in disbelief. “Edgar, it’s me.”
I stand and cross my arms as I circle her and her companion. I sneer at the sight of them. “You betrayed us. Mom and Dad are dead because of you.”
The male bares his teeth and takes a daunting step toward me. “What the fuck did you just say to her?” His eyes are royal blue and turquoise crescent moons rounds each iris.
I hold my ground. “I said it’s her fucking fault. She betrayed us.” My fury surprises her. She stumbles to find the words to say, so I beat her to it. “Just leave. I wish to be alone.” I sit back down on the bed. Terra’s companion clenches his teeth so tightly it makes my own hurt.
No one speaks or moves.
“I didn’t betray you, Edgar. Never,” she finally says quietly. We stare at one another until my pain is so overwhelming that I bite my cheek to keep the tears from welling in my eyes. “Never you, never our family.”
After a moment of silence, she leaves. Her companion shoots me another glare before following her out. I let out a sigh and fall backward on my bed.
I believe her… so why am I still so angry?
I close my eyes. Terra had the warmest smile of anyone I’ve ever known. She wouldn’t smile like she does now. There’s something crooked about her.
Something crooked. I ponder the thought.
Like Sully. She must have one too—a Shadow.
And Sully despises it. The weight that pulled away from her was intense and I only noticed its absence once she left.
Pain changes you, Edgar, remember? She needs to be disposed of. That’s not your sister, not anymore, Sully whispers inside my head.
I ponder that too.