Chapter 16
Terra
I’ve asked myself “why” a billion times already and still come up short of an answer, so I just accept that this is happening even though the majority of us are already adults and have vast knowledge of intimacy.
Sex ed is on the first floor, past the indoor gardens that line the west side of the castle. I let my eyes browse the enormous windows and the plants that thrive inside. I would say it’s beautiful, but every single plant is a shade of red. The vines are a deep maroon crawling up the panes like veins. There are leaves of softer reds and bright roses, poppies, and smaller flowers I don’t recognize.
Raine glances over as we pass the gardens and leans in close to whisper, “Morbid fucking Fernestians.” I find myself nodding and pulling my gaze away from the blood-red room.
The classroom is filled with people I don’t recognize, all dressed in the same tactical gear we wear but with different colored cloaks. Raine and I are the only ones to bear white. The rest are beige, purple, red, and blue.
I let out a breath of relief that no one I know is here. This is going to be so difficult to sit through. I take a desk in the back and slump in the chair with my hood pulled up. Raine takes the seat to my right. Light murmurs fill the room as we wait for the professor.
The empty seats to either side of me pull out just as the professor walks in. I eye him carefully as he struts confidently across the room, long golden hair tied back in a ponytail, golden eyes. He has three black bars on either side of his mouth, almost like stitches. Even though his mouth is firm and flat, it gives the illusion that he’s smiling.
I recognize him as the head of House Cosmos. His cloak is gilded, unpatching of the Cosmos House color, black. His face is composed of sharp features and he has a beauty that most men don’t. A golden god of a man. Where Nekane and Elias are rugged, he has a soft, angelic appearance. He’s lovely to look at. I wonder why his eyes aren’t gray like most of the Fernestians’.
He takes a seat at the head of the class and his eyes land on the person next to me. I’m curious enough to look.
My stomach twists when I find Finn’s amber eyes and high cheekbones. He glances at me and our cheeks turn rosy in unison.
No, oh gods, not him.
Kai is sitting on his other side making a face that reveals how funny he thinks it is.
Someone else takes a seat in front of me. I am utterly aghast to find Edgar is in this class too.
“Welcome to Sex ed.” Kallos flicks his fingers in the air and light etches words into the empty space above his head, blurry and not quite readable yet. Kallos mutters, “You can have sex with anyone except a Shadow Mate. We are going to learn how to practice safe sex when you have an aggressive Shadow inside you.”
My jaw is hanging loose from my head. Raine shifts uncomfortably in his seat and Kai is hardly holding himself together, both his hands pressed to his mouth to keep his hysterical laughter in. Edgar sinks in his chair and refuses to acknowledge any of us behind him. I’m grateful for that.
“Basically, you can fuck whomever you’d like since the chances of you finding a mate are slim to none. I believe we only have a few couplings in the entire academy, so it shouldn’t be difficult.” Kallos stands and flicks his fingers in the air again, making the words in the space above him legible.
They read: “Consensual Violent Sex.”
Everyone groans simultaneously and I’m tempted to get up and run out of here. Kallos’s eyes linger on me for a moment before he continues with the class and I can’t help but wonder if he already knows about my situation with Elias.
But does he know that we’re actively fucking? And Raine, too… Oh gods.
I half listen as Kallos explains the ins and outs of our Shadows’ lust and their call to others’ powers. He shows us a few concoctions of birth control potions, which the men take. (Wow, smart, world-shattering. Who would have thought the Fernestians would be the first to say “The men are the reasonable things to use contraceptives on”?)
“Okay, now I will show you the savage pull Shadows can have and correct ways to proceed when courting a female,” he says casually. Meanwhile, almost everyone’s head is buried in their arms or their hands are pressed against their faces.
Kai bursts out laughing. “Are you seriously going to show us?!” Finn curses under his breath and smacks Kai on the arm.
Kallos doesn’t seem one bit bothered by his Cosmos student’s comment. “How else can you grasp how vicious it can be?” the professor says with a light grin. His eyes flick back to me and he raises his hand like a gentleman. “Terra, care to help me?”
My soul exits my body.
I’m stunned. Every single face turns back and stares at me. Fuck this. No. Kai starts laughing again and I glare at him. Finn’s eyes are rounded like this is the worst thing he’s ever been subjected to and my stomach curls with horror. Even Edgar looks back at me, but instead of the despair I was sure I’d see in his eyes, he’s on the verge of laughing too.
Kallos lets out a soft chuckle and draws my attention back to him. “I promise, nothing with our clothes off.”
Is that supposed to make this less awkward?!
My jaw drops again but the seriousness of Kallos’s expression and his lax beauty settles the fear in my chest. There’s a pull deep in my bones; Amser is drawn to him and urges me forward.
This fucking Shadow is going to be the end of me.
Kallos keeps his hand raised for me as I slowly stand and make my way to the front of the classroom. His golden cloak graces his broad shoulders. Up close, the six bars on his face look less like stitches and more like ebony staples embedded into his perfect bright skin.
I let my hand slide into his and the thrum of our Shadows connecting sends a shudder down my spine. Amser immediately takes to him and a carnal throb floods through my entire body.
Kallos winces at the sensation and a frightening look of pure lust flickers across his eyes. Does every male crave a female Nova that badly?
My Shadow answers me even though I didn’t directly ask it. Yes.
The professor wraps his hand around mine. The smooth surface of his skin is unlike Elias’s or Raine’s. His hands aren’t callous or cold; they are entirely warm and kind like Arthur’s. My curiosity piques.
His power is immense, I can sense it just from our connection, and as I look out across the classroom, I realize they must be able to feel it too. Everyone’s eyes are wide.
Finn and Raine have lovely blushes across their cheeks and it makes my heart beat faster. Edgar is already looking anywhere but at the two of us. I quickly look back at Kallos, which doesn’t calm my nerves at all.
“That wave of power you all sensed is the greeting of two Shadows who deem each other worthy. When this happens, a strong urge to devour one another will fall over you,” Kallos says through gritted teeth. His jaw is flexed and he tightens his grasp on my wrist. I swallow dryly as I stare into his practically starved eyes.
He said devour, right?
Kallos pulls me closer, letting our chests press together. The low growl that rolls from deep in his throat sends heat through my core, making me press my thighs together to quell my traitorous body’s outrageous urge.
“Everything inside you is heightened now. You have to fight the bad instincts. Alkrose rules are that anything you and your partner agree to do is permissible, but if there is no mutual consent, then that is where permission ends. For example: Terra, I want to kiss you. She’s going to say?—”
“Yes,” I blurt out—I don’t know what just came over me, but my heart hammers inside my chest at the embarrassment that follows. Kallos sucks a breath in and his Adam’s apple bobs as he stares down at me. There’s so much restraint behind his well-trained impassive expression.
His eyes drop to my lips as he says with a raspy voice, “If they agree, then it is permissible.” He clears his throat, looking away from my lips and back at the class. Sweat starts to bead down the side of his neck and I can’t help but grin wickedly at how diligently he’s controlling himself right now. “Now, let’s say you’re already tangled and embracing them closely, but you decide you don’t like where things are headed and your partner can’t stop. Here is a trick to instantly snap the Shadows’ connection and bring you to your senses.”
Oh my gods, I can’t.
Kallos pulls me against his chest. I genuinely don’t think he knew what he was signing up for. My Shadow pulls his in so viciously that he audibly loses his breath. I’m as consumed by him as he is by me and my knees falter. Kallos is in no better shape and he ends up leaning my limp body over his desk as his legs give in.
The classroom lights up with gasps and the only one laughing his ass off is Kai. I can only stare into Kallos’s golden eyes. His expression of shock quickly fades and his lips pull up into a handsome smile. He looks into my eyes with curiosity.
“No wonder Elias is so possessive of you. Your Shadow has quite the appetite,” he whispers in a deep, tempting voice. I bury my teeth into my bottom lip—his erection is pressed against my lower abdomen. “Elias might know how to please you, but I doubt those boys do. Tell me, are you satisfied?”
Raine and Finn? Is he really going there right now?
Kallos’s lips are close to mine. He has a lovely scent, musky, with a bitterness like metal.
I can only stare at him and imagine what filthy things he really wants to say. His attention snags back on the class, who are all wide-eyed and silently watching our professor as he pins me to the desk beneath his sculpted body.
Kallos clears his throat and returns to the lesson. “To snap the connection you need to have control over your Shadow. Firmly tell it to let go and it will.”
I wait for Kallos to cut the connection but he doesn’t. My brows raise and horror flashes through his gaze for a moment. My mouth pinches into a tight grin.
“Do you need me to do it?” I whisper, enjoying this entirely too much, even as his knee slowly nudges mine apart. If we weren’t in front of like fifty other people, I wonder where this would go.
He lets out a short, deep laugh and nods. He’s the complete opposite of Arthur. Bright, lively, and full of humor. I find myself drawn to them both in different ways.
I scold my Shadow for having wandering eyes and demand it release him.
Kallos winks at me as thanks and straightens his posture, helping me up and letting his fingers linger around my arm for a second too long before jerking his head for me to take my seat.
Raine and Finn have concerned expressions but I can only smile at Kai’s inability to keep his laughter contained. My brother has both palms covering his face and I can’t help but die a little inside.
“I thought he was going to fuck you on the desk,” Kai sputters and Finn shoots him a death glare.
I sink into my seat and groan. Great, I’m sure rumors will run rampant about this.
Kallos talks for a few more minutes before dismissing us with advice to “prepare” for the next class because it will be more in-depth. I’m not entirely sure what to do with that information, so I try as best I can not to think about the professor’s erect cock and how perfect it felt against me.
Finn stops me when class is dismissed and everyone else funnels out of the room. Kai lingers but gives us space to talk. Raine rolls his eyes but stands close to Kai. I want to do anything but stand here and talk to Finn, but honestly, after sex ed, I’m feeling surprisingly relaxed.
“Yes?” I ask halfheartedly as I collect my books and level him with a disinterested stare.
“Want to come train with us tonight? We’re going to meet in the courtyard after dinner and I’d really like it if you joined us.” His smile is nervous but he asks sincerely.
It wouldn’t be the worst thing to try to mend our friendship, would it? A night training with him… it sounds nice.
“Yeah, I’d like that,” I say in a friendly tone. His amber eyes soften on me and I’m relieved that this feels so natural.
“See you tonight then.” He grins and nods at Kai; the two of them walk to the front of the room to speak with Kallos.
I’m tempted to eavesdrop but decide against it. I’m eager to get to the library and search for anything that I can find on blights. Hope is something I think we could all use a bit of right now.