Chapter 20
Finn
Iknow where I’ll likely find Terra at any point in the day. Not because I’m stalking her or keeping a close eye, but because I know her so entirely. Her habits here aren’t so different from her routines and desires in Navasik.
In the mornings, she enjoys her tea, normally sipping it as she reads and brushes up on the day’s subject matter. During the short breaks between classes, she walks with Raine through the gardens on the first floor. I’m envious of the way he holds her, though I’m relieved she isn’t alone.
At night she usually sits on the bridge leading to the Nova House, legs dangling off the side as she stares up at the stars.
But it’s early, no later than ten, and she’s already in the gardens today, without her usual companion and looking distant and weary as she stares at the peculiar red flowers and vines.
I consider going inside to speak with her. There’s nothing more I crave than to be close to her, to wrap my arms around her waist and breathe in her lovely scent of cold mountain air.
Terra’s eyes lift and I sip in a breath and hold it, watching her carefully as if she’ll stir should I move. Her emerald gaze flickers with warmth and she gives me a small but alluring smile before turning her back to me and disappearing behind a wall of red ferns.
My sweet little thing. She wants me to give chase just as I would in the forest. Who am I to deprive her of a thrill?
I slip inside the garden room, a terrarium truly, with walls of glass two stories high. The aroma of the plants is a comfort that reaches inside my chest. Should I shut my eyes, I would find myself somewhere beneath the warm sun.
My tomes are heavy in my hands. I set them down on an old stool, the legs uneven and tilting with the weight of my books. The garden is much bigger than I could’ve imagined; the glass panes stretch far off to the west side of the castle. It’s easily the size of a ballroom but filled with pathways, plants, and foliage in every shade of red.
I silently walk through the path, brushing my fingers against some leaves as I pass the long tables. She’s always been better at this game of chase than me, but now with Laphia, I think the tides may have turned in my favor.
She’s there. Dead ahead,Laphia purrs inside my head and heat floods through my bones. The fire within me desires her as if she’s oxygen itself.
The corner of my lip kicks up and I lower into a crouch as I approach a shelf of maroon ferns. They’re as tall as I am, leaves drooping down all the way to the tiles. Terra lets out a small breath as if she’s holding in a laugh with both her hands pressed over her lips.
My smile grows and I turn the corner swiftly. Terra’s eyes widen and she lets out a quiet gasp followed by the sweetest squeal as I grab her around the waist and pull her close to my chest. She laughs and clings to me, her fingers brushing my collarbones before they find the vest.
Her laugh is entirely contagious and I let a deep chuckle slip from my lips too. Although we’re different, we still have remnants of ourselves somewhere deep down.
I smooth my thumb over her cheek and pull her back to look into her eyes. Terra looks up at me and for a moment we’re still, unmoving as our souls and Shadows dance between the breath of air we share.
“What are you doing here alone?” I ask in a mere whisper as I trace my finger across her jaw, stopping at her soft lips and dragging my thumb slowly over the bottom one, pulling it down a bit.
She takes a deep breath and shuts her eyes before mumbling, “Raine wasn’t feeling well so I thought I’d see the flowers alone today before class.”
He isn’t feeling well? Shit, I hope the blight isn’t already taking hold of his health. It’s only been a little over a week. My face must reflect my somber thoughts because Terra’s brows pinch together and she frowns.
“Is there any way we can search Kallos’s study tonight?” she asks, sounding tired. I know she’s been losing sleep over this. Her guilt shows no matter how hard she tries to hide it.
“Of course. Come by after nine, that’s usually when Kallos goes for his evening meetings.” I let my eyes drop behind her and see a stone bench, the edges carved to look like branches, two cushions cover the seat. I guide us over and sit down, pulling Terra to sit over me so I can stare into her eyes.
It’s the first time she’s allowed me to be so close and intimate. It makes my heart wrench. I yearn to press kisses against her skin. “Terra?”
“Yeah?” She lets her body relax around mine and her legs ease to either side of my hips. Her hand presses against my chest and she stares into my soul, unblinking.
I swallow dryly. “You know you can always come to me if you need to talk, right? Anything and everything, I’ll listen for hours if you need me to. Just don’t isolate yourself. I’m here—I will never leave you again.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile and nods slowly. “Thank you, Finn.”
My cheeks warm as her eyes drop to my lips. I’m hesitant, gods know I want to kiss her, but I don’t want to push this. “I think we should?—”
Her mouth presses against mine, making my heart stutter and a sea of emotions flood through my veins. It’s a light and endearing kiss, one of forgiveness and hope. She pulls back and smiles at me before standing.
“I’ll see you at nine.” She winks and I’m so fucking tempted to follow her as she walks away, letting her fingers brush over the tops of leaves as I did, but I’m a patient man.
Kai covers his mouth as Nekane smacks Frederick’s back, hard. The long metal stick he uses to point out the vertebrae sends chills down my spine. However, I find Frederick’s protruding spinal bones and ability to flex them even more disturbing.
“Who knew anatomy class could be so hilarious,” Kai says. He buries his smile in his sleeves, but I don’t think he’d fool anyone who looks our way.
“Hilarious? It’s fucking gross. Just make sure you’re taking notes today; I’m tired of lending you my notebook,” I mutter as I write in my journal, circling that Frederick’s bones are flexible and he can contort them at will. All this information is pertinent to the second-semester exam. As much as I hate to think about it, I’ll need to know how to kill fast and efficiently. Each day that passes only shows how dangerous the other students are becoming. Distrust between the Houses has flared and more students are sticking to their own Houses as a result.
“Here, copy mine. You’re already so far behind,” Aervin mutters and rolls his eyes at Kai. Our white-haired friend sheepishly grins and jots down all the notes from Aervin’s book.
Nekane turns Frederick to face the class. “Open your jaw,” he instructs, and Frederick obeys, letting his mouth fall open.
His skin parts to his ears. It’s gruesome to watch but seems painless for Frederick, who’s not even wincing, although his jaw hangs loosely at the hinges. His teeth are sharp like a viper’s and his eyes fade into a subtle red as if the blood vessels have burst from the effort.
Nekane grins and points at the hinge of Frederick’s jaw as he goes on. “Some Shadows prefer to give you their strength directly rather than forming outside of you. Frederick here has a Serpent Shadow. They aren’t common, even less so for one to morph its host. Though it does give him a rather nasty bite, doesn’t it?” Nekane laughs at his own joke, but none of us do. “Just because a Shadow bearer has a shifting ability does not mean they can’t summon them. Don’t let your guard down around these ones.”
My fists tighten against my desk. If I get the chance to kill Frederick during the second exam I’m taking it.
Nekane goes on about more of the Shadow anatomy and has us practice letting our Shadows further in for the remainder of the class. Kai, Corvus, and I just sit and chat since we’re not exactly keen on letting our Shadows dig too far within our souls just yet. We’ll try to resist as long as possible. At least, that’s our unspoken agreement. Aervin seems willing to try, but his continuous curses tell me he’s not having much luck.
Corvus has been oddly silent for most of the class, so I press him. “Is something wrong?” I flip through a few pages in my tome, not expecting him to say much.
His black eyes narrow and he looks up at me from beneath his dark hair. “Has Terra made up with Edgar yet?” I raise a brow at him and my eyes instinctively dart to Kai’s. Aervin stops what he’s doing and turns to look at us too. He has the same questioning look I do. Why would that matter? “I had my morning class with him and… he’s different from the rest. There’s something off about him, something wrong.”
Kai leans in closer. “Well, I could’ve told you that. Haven’t you seen him talking to himself in the courtyard and the hallways?”
“Edgar told me his Shadow whispers bad things to him,” Aervin says grimly, staring at the ground in thought.
I look between the three of them. Why haven’t I noticed? I only noticed by the lake during the first Shadow riding class when he talked to himself oddly. “I guess he’s different, but you weren’t in Navasik when the Skyfell… I think he watched his parents?—”
“We all watched our parents melt, Finn,” Corvus snaps and my mouth closes with guilt. “But haven’t you felt that emotion and pain fade? Like it never happened? Do you even remember what they look like? Because I fucking don’t.”
Kai’s brows pull together. “Of course, I—wait. No, I can’t remember.” His eyes widen and he looks at me. Aervin shakes his head slowly. Him too?
I think of my mom, and as awful as it makes me feel, I don’t remember her face at all. I shake my head in disbelief. “What the fuck,” I say with a shaky breath. My father’s face comes to mind no problem though. Of all the people I wish to forget, of course I’d remember him. Can we only forget the dead? The trauma they bring us?
Corvus nods. “Each day, things are taken from within us. Specifically bad things, people we’ve lost. I’ve been keeping track. For us, the progression is slow, but constant. I don’t think that’s the case for Edgar.”
Aervin grunts. “Of course you’ve been keeping track. You and Vinnie would get along great. Bright minds and all that.” His tone is sarcastic but there’s no doubt Corvus is brilliant.
“Why do you think that it’s different for Edgar?” Kai asks quietly as Nekane glides by us, giving us questioning looks as we continue with our low conversation.
“He accused Finn of being a traitor to Heirah. You should’ve seen the hatred in his eyes. The raw fury that he was holding onto. The pain was fresh, like he could see everything and remember clearly, unlike us.” Corvus pauses and his eyes grow distant with thought. “And then he brought out his Shadow and… it was something else. It wasn’t like any of the others.” The fear in his voice is so distinct that the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise.
My throat feels dry with worry, but still, I ask, “What did it look like?”
Corvus glances up at us as a bead of sweat trickles down the side of his face. “It was a puppet of a really realistic-looking boy—mimicking Edgar. A dark mass stood behind it, holding up the puppet, making it move and look like a real person… but I saw it. Its eyes were two hollow holes with red in the center and it was using Edgar’s trauma like a toy. I’ve never been so afraid and keenly aware of anything in my entire life.” Corvus swallows hard and his hands tremble as he sets them on his knees for stability. “There’s something terribly wrong with him.”
I look to Kai and Aervin, then back to Corvus. “Terra is meeting us at nine p.m. in the Cosmos House. You should come too. We can talk to her. She’s trying to find a way to un-blight Raine, but I think she should know about this too.”
Corvus hesitates but nods. “I just hope we know what we’re getting into.”