Chapter 23
Terra
Raine leans against the wall around the corner of the Cosmos House. His body is taut, muscles beautifully stretched as he cranes to check if the coast is clear. The marbled walls are cold and keep the hallway’s air brisk. Raine levels me a sly smirk as I peek over his shoulder to see if Kai and Finn have shown up yet to let us in their homeroom.
I was able to cross Elias off the list pretty quickly as his room isn’t difficult for me to get into. I’m not sure who else we can trust here besides Arthur, so we’ve been cautious about comparing the notes to professors.
Raine cleared the lower House professors, Flik and Moss, off the list too, so it’s either Kallos, Nekane, or Arthur. After them, we need to find any other potential members of Elias’s original group that may still be alive. One pops into mind: Emerai. I mentally add him to the list.
“How are you feeling?” I ask, straightening beside Raine and lifting my hand to his cheek with affection. His skin is warm and he shuts his eyes, leaning his weary head into my palm and letting his hand slide up the back of my hand.
“Better now. I just needed some sleep.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, letting my brows pull together with concern.
He nods and smiles brightly. “Yeah, don’t worry about it, babe.”
I think about what Elias said about tutoring Raine. My chest warms that my assassin seems to be lightening up about him. “Have you been able to conjure your Shadow yet?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the Cosmos entrance. It’s not like we aren’t allowed in there or anything, but on the off chance that Kallos is still inside, I’d rather not risk him growing curious about us. I already have more than enough of his attention in sex ed.
Raine rubs the back of his head and stalls. “Uh, well, not exactly. No.”
I focus on him, drawing my brows tightly together. “Elias said he’s going to tutor you in preparation for the exam.” Raine rolls his eyes, which irks me. “He’s not so bad; I think he genuinely wants you to succeed. Even if he just wants you to be able to protect me in the exam.”
He lets out a short breath and mutters, “At least we have a common interest. I guess it won’t be so bad. I can’t argue with a man who wants me to be useful before I die.” He brushes my chin with the tip of his thumb and gives me that cruel grin of his.
“Raine, don’t say that.” The hurt is evident in my voice, but I’m okay with being vulnerable around Raine. “We’re going to find a way.”
He raises his shoulders and lets them drop dramatically. “We’ll see.”
I’m about to give him a lecture about being morbid, but I catch a flash of white hair in my peripheral.
“It’s Kai! Let’s go,” I whisper-shout and Raine follows close behind me as we slink down the hallway. The sun has long since set, which helps with our cover.
I’m not surprised to find the Cosmos House commons empty. It’s late and most of the students are out in the courtyard training or already in bed.
The Cosmos homeroom is much different than ours. The ceilings aren’t vaulted and the theme is pretty plain, cream-colored walls with dark blue furniture and an average-looking fireplace.
“This place is rather mundane,” I say, and Raine nods thoughtfully.
Kai laughs and holds up his hand; the back has a mark that looks like a cloud of stars. Cosmos.
“You have to have this to see the cosmos of stars and lights on the ceilings,” Kai mutters as he walks across the large space to a door on the other side. Finn cracks the door open and waves us into the study.
Raine goes first and I follow behind him. Kai winks at me and stands guard at the door lest Kallos return.
Kallos’s study is what I would consider organized chaos. It’s stuffed with loose pages and notes, piles of wax-sealed letters, and books stacked high on the floor near his desk. Old framed photos fill the entire length of the walls. The scent is musky, mixed with freshly blown-out candles and sage.
Finn smiles at me, eyes dipping down to my lips briefly before he catches himself and clears his throat. My cheeks warm and Raine looks between us, seeming to notice a change in the air. “There are plenty of notes in here to compare. Kallos is on the messy side though, so you might want to check his desk first,” Finn says.
Raine gives him a quick once-over before nodding and looking for something he can compare on Kallos’s desk.
“Have you been in here before?” I ask Finn as I step closer to the photos on the wall. I’m drawn to the images of people; they look sad and hopeless, yet small smiles crest each of their faces. That’s when I catch the cloaks they’re wearing. They are the same style and colors we’re wearing now.
Finn moves to stand beside me and his scent of crisp pines warms my senses. I’ve missed his presence. I’ve missed him. The kiss we shared in the gardens reminded me how utterly hopeless I truly am in his hands.
“I have actually—on my first night here.”
I raise a brow. “Get in trouble?”
He laughs and his amber eyes find mine. “Something like that.”
“I wonder what it was like for them back then.” I trace my finger over the photo of the group of friends. I quickly recognize Arthur and Kallos. One person looks like Nekane and… is that Elias? My eyes widen. This is the group of friends we’re looking for. I trace each one with my eyes and memorize their features. Unfortunately, I don’t recognize most of them. I lower my hand and am surprised when Finn threads his finger through mine gently. “Do you think we’ll survive the exam?”
Our eyes meet and he grins weakly. “Honestly, I’m scared, Terra. I don’t think this gets easier; they’re training us for war.” His gaze hollows as he looks back at the photo. Kallos had so much life still in his eyes. Arthur too.
Finn’s father has been training him for war since he was a fucking kid. That monster’s face surfaces in my mind, cruel and hardened by his callous life.
“Do you think your father is in Whales of Tauh? Preparing for Fernestia’s next assault?” I say as I walk down the row of photos. Near the end of the wall I stop and stare at a small, unframed picture tacked to the wall. It’s crumpled and depicts a boy in black and white. But I’d know that face anywhere. My fingers brush along the tattered picture and my lungs clench.
Elias. He already looks broken, frowning, eyes cold as he stares into the camera. Why does it make my soul ache to the bitter center? Did he ever have a chance to find his heart in this cruel world?
I doubt it.
“I don’t know.” Finn’s voice startles me and I slip the loose photo into one of my pockets to look at again later. It wasn’t even framed, so I pray Kallos will not notice its absence. “My father was supposed to be in Navasik that day, but the Skyfell happened before I could get home.” He says the words with deep dread and the pain of that day flickers across his eyes.
“I’m sorry, Finn,” I say, setting my hand on his arm.
He offers me a sad smile and an insignificant raise of his shoulder. “I’m just glad you weren’t there. I can… still hear them screaming.”
A shudder rolls through me at the thought of it. Barkovah will forever haunt me, and I’m grateful my Shadow keeps most of the phantoms at bay.
Muffled voices speak on the other side of the door.
Raine stuffs some samples into his pocket and the three of us quickly exit the study, finding Kai and Corvus waiting for us with grim expressions.
I let out a relieved breath. For gods’ sakes, I thought it was Kallos.
Finn nods at his friend like he was expecting him. Raine shares an uncertain look with me.
Corvus looks like he has a million things he needs to say, but he chooses one I didn’t expect. “I was just with Edgar in the infirmary.”
My stomach drops. “What? What happened to him? Is he okay?” My feet are already carrying me to the exit. Corvus steps in front of me, earning him a low grunt from Raine as a warning.
“He’s fine—he’s already back in the Nova House,” Corvus says as he nervously looks at his friends. “But Kallos placed a cast on his Shadow, which is going to make the second exam difficult for him to pass. Arthur said—” He quickly stops talking and shakes his head. “If he can’t break the cast before the exam, he doesn’t have a chance.” Corvus’s dark eyes hold secrets. I study Finn’s features; he must sense it too.
“What the fuck is a cast?”Kai sits on one of the couches and we all awkwardly follow suit. Raine doesn’t lean back in comfort though; he remains sitting straight and ready to leave at any moment.
Corvus holds out his palm and a small black feather appears, floating just an inch above his skin. We all lean in, awed, as Corvus whispers, “Kallos said Edgar’s power was too dangerous unchecked, so he placed a sort of containment blanket over it with his own. This will keep Edgar from being able to harness his power.” Corvus trembles as he waves his other hand over the feather. A thin layer of black dust tops the feather like a cloth draping over it.
I’m impressed with his ability to control it so delicately—obviously, he’s been paying close attention in Nekane’s class.
Finn’s brows pinch together and he leans back on the couch. “So, Edgar can’t use his powers at all?”
Corvus shakes his head. “In theory, no. But I can still sense it lingering just beneath his skin. Honestly, he’s dangerous. I think Kallos made a good decision, but I don’t think it’s going to hold his Shadow as long as they were hoping.” Corvus looks at me with sympathy and regret. “Terra, I saw what his Shadow can do with minimal effort and it’s fucking horrifying.”
Raine side glances at me before firming his lips. “So? What do you want us to do about it?” he says indifferently. Corvus holds Raine’s cold stare. I can’t fight the chill of his harsh words. That’s my brother.
“There’s something wrong with him. I think you should try to talk to him and convince him to not let his Shadow further into his soul. I have a really bad feeling about it. I think there’s a way we can help him in the next exam without using his powers.”
I process that information silently. Based on what I overheard Arthur and Elias talking about—the Blood Crowns exam—I doubt he stands any fucking chance without his powers. Even if his Shadow is malevolent, he needs it to survive. We all do.
I stand. Raine is at my side in a moment and I nod at Corvus. “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll see what I can do.” My throat is rough from the emotions I’m keeping back. Finn looks at me with silent concern. I smile at him. “Thanks for helping us tonight. I’ll let you know what we find tomorrow.”
The three of them look adrift as we leave. If what Corvus said is true, not only do I need to talk to Edgar about his Shadow, but I need to figure out how he’s going to survive the exams as well.
Fuck.Everything just keeps piling up higher and higher.
Raine waits until we’re crossing the icy bridge before he says anything. “It’s not a match.”
“Huh?” I look up at him, confused. He smiles at my knack for getting lost in thought. The only nice thing that’s happened tonight is that Raine is feeling better.
“The notes, they don’t match. So who’s left?”
“Arthur and Nekane—oh, and I think we should check the headmaster too. It has to be one of them,” I say with little hope. We could just be chasing ghosts here. What if the person who wrote that note died a long time ago? “I saw an old picture in Kallos’s office. A group of students. We can pick up from there if we don’t find a match.”
Raine shrugs. “Good recon work. If we ever get out of here I’ll make you my lieutenant.” His voice is cheerful and light but I can’t find the energy to be jovial. I lean into him and he wraps his arm around me. “You’re awfully mopey tonight.”
“No shit.” I laugh because it’s not funny at all.
My brother is losing his mind, my ex-boyfriend is helping me save someone I cherish dearly from his death sentence, and my Shadow Mate, who is very much the enemy, has my heart twisted tightly in his grasp. Now toss in the mystery of what the Blood Crowns are.
I sigh, letting my brain shed some of the stress.
Before we reach the doors to the Nova House, they swing open and Edgar comes stalking out.
Something’s wrong with him.