Chapter 39
Terra
The sun dips beneath the distant mountains as I mentally prepare to sneak into Za’Afiel. It was convenient that Elias revealed the doorway. Now we know exactly how to get there. It’s not ideal that I had to wait this long to return, but I didn’t have the chance given that Emerai noticed someone taking hearts and increased the guards. At least now it’s calmed down enough that I don’t think we’ll face much trouble if we stick to the third floor.
I wish Edgar was coming with us since he knows that place pretty well, but we’ll just have to take our chances alone. An ache throbs deep inside my chest for the lost kinship, but Raine’s blight is more important at the moment.
I zip up my tactical vest and let my eyes linger on the bottom drawer of the wardrobe. The thrum of the two hearts still softly flutters inside, and my lips firm with guilt. I want to tell Arthur that I’ve found his heart—to hand it to him and see his face light up with hope. But Elias made it clear we can’t speak of it until after the exam. Emerai is watching, listening everywhere.
Raine raises a brow at me as I shut my wardrobe.
“Having second thoughts?” he asks as he slowly moves up behind me, letting his hands glide smoothly over my waist. I shake my head and turn to face him. He grins at me and presses a soft kiss to my lips. “This has to be a match.”
I want to believe that too—I desperately want to.
As we leave my room we bump into Ash passing my door.
“Where are you two headed?” he asks with a small raise of his brow. His silver hair is mussed with sleep and he looks just as reserved as he does daily. At least he’s not filled with malice like Edgar is.
Raine looks at me with an expectant stare. You’re better with words than I am, his eyes tell me with a flicker.
“Just to explore the south tower.” I shove the note deep into my pocket and spare a quick glance down the hallway to make sure no one else is going to question us. The Nova House has been oddly quiet this evening. I wonder where everyone is.
Ash stares at me for a few moments before furrowing his brows. “I don’t believe you.”
Shit. I still can’t tell if he’s their little lapdog already or not. He’s always with a professor or the headmaster—they like to keep Ash very close. If they consider him that precious, he must be special. The portal keeper. That gives me an unsettling thought: if he dies, do the portals close? That would almost certainly bring a huge advantage to Heirah.
I try to bury the disturbing idea of killing him just to find out.
Raine steps forward and backs Ash against the wall, bumping a few frames that tilt like theyre about to fall. “What do you want, huh? Stay the fuck out of our business.” Raine’s voice is low and sharp.
Okay, so it looks like we are going straight for the rip cord then.
Ash keeps his face smooth and unfazed as he presses his palm against Raine’s chest. “Now I’m really curious. What are you two hiding?”
I huff and level Raine with a disapproving look. He just flexes his jaw to let me know he doesn’t care.
“Okay, listen.” I tug on Raine’s arm so he lets go of Ash and we can de-escalate this situation. “We’re trying to find a way to break the blight curse,” I say in a low whisper.
Ash’s eyes widen and he considers me for a moment. His dark gray hair looks almost black in the hallway and he stands only a few inches taller than me. “There is no cure,” he says firmly, but there’s hope in his eyes. For his comrade Lucina, I’m sure.
I pull the note from my pocket and show him. “We found this in the library and think the handwriting belongs to Arthur. If he’s the one that wrote it, I think he knows how to stop the blight.”
Raine gives me a dirty look for giving our secret up so easily, but I truly believe Ash can help us. He spent a lot of time at Za’Afiel too.
Ash looks over the note for a few moments, then looks back up to us, handing the piece of paper to me.
“Okay. Follow me,” he mutters before turning and making his way down the stairs to the homeroom. Raine and I trail behind him.
Ash glances around the room swiftly as if he fears we’re being watched and then draws a circle with his finger on the coffee table. A dark hole appears and I stare wildly at him.
“Is that?—”
Ash cuts me off. “Go quickly. Only Terra—Arthur will sense Raine’s blight if he goes with you. When youre ready to leave, just head to the gardens and you’ll find a wall of greenery. Walk through it and you’ll return here.”
I don’t want to go alone, but Raine’s eyes are already so gray and I don’t think he has much time left. I swallow hard and nod. “Okay, I’ll be quick. Thank you, Ash.” I hug him and he gives a surprised exhale. Raine grunts and rolls his eyes, but I kiss him on the cheek anyway.
“Be careful—I’ll be waiting for you,” Raine murmurs as he caresses the edge of my jaw. His black hair is side-swept with a few strands hanging over his forehead. I nod and slip into the dark hole before my anxiety and fear get the best of me.
It feels like falling slowly, suspended as if the air is thick like water. My feet land on solid ground after a few moments and the darkness lifts. I’m standing in the familiar long corridor with brilliant windows that allow the moonlight to illuminate the walls.
It’s as silent as it was a few weeks ago. Not a soul stirs here.
I look to my right; the large ebony door is shut but moonlight shines dimly beneath the crack. This must be Arthur’s study. Why else would Ash put the portal here? I send him a silent thanks as I reach for the handle and turn it. Darkness drifts from the study in wisps of dread around my feet.
But the scent that follows… I know this scent.
It’s distinctive, old books and pages, long-burned candle wicks and pencil shavings. I’m certain I’ve been here before, even though I’m also sure I haven’t.
I step through the doorway and stand in the center of the study. Arthur’s long desk sits at the end of the room with a wall of books behind it. My feet guide me to the wall of tomes and I grab one from the shelf. Before I can crack it open, I turn, sensing I’m not alone.
On a single chair in the center of the room sits Arthur, leaned back casually with one leg over the other. His gray eyes are on mine, calm and observant.
The right side of his face is lit only by the moonlight, but I can see all those beautiful features all the same, his high cheekbones and angular jaw. He has a hand pressed up against his cheek in a bored fashion. His shoulder-length black hair blends into the darkness behind him effortlessly. My stomach sinks at the sight of his angelic features.
“Terra, might I help you find something?” he says with an almost eerie tone.
I lower the book to my side and stare at him. A shudder crawls up my spine. This feels like a trap; why was he waiting here like this? He watches me struggle to find any words and a slight smile spreads across his lips. My Shadow draws near to him, yearning to be close, but I want the opposite right now.
Arthur stands slowly. I almost forgot how tall he was. His slender figure is unfitting of the tactical gear he wears; he’s fit for a crown and royal suits, not war clothing.
Of all the professors to catch me in their study, at least it’s Arthur. If there’s one I can trust, it’s him. He lifts his hand and offers it to me, a silent request that I go to him. That calm, warm smile still lifts his lips.
I swallow hard but slowly walk toward him. Once I’m standing before him, he tilts his head a bit and chuckles softly.
“You act like a mouse caught stealing cheese,” he says light-heartedly.
I look up at him with surprise and then back down to the book in my hands. “I’m hoping you can help me… and I’m sorry for breaking into your study,” I apologize as I hand him the book. He looks down at it nostalgically and turns it in his hand to examine the back.
“You could’ve just asked. I’m not so scary, am I?” His smile grows and I find the same one spreading across my lips as well.
I reach into my pocket and pull out the note, opening it and handing it to him. “I really need to find the person who wrote this.”
He takes the paper and reads it a few times, his eyes narrowing at the subject of the blight. “Terra, I know you want to help him?—”
“I have to,” I correct him and his eyes only soften more with pity, but he nods and takes a long breath.
“Well, I think I may know who wrote this. It wasn’t me.” He hands me back the note and sits on the edge of his desk, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out the window.
Arthur’s eyes hold so much sorrow. Everything about him is imbued with it. Perhaps it’s why I find his presence so comforting. I fight the urge in my chest to get closer to him—when we touch, everything else becomes blurry and it’s only him I see.
“You know.” His voice brings me back out of my thoughts. “Sometimes we try relentlessly to fight against the current, the waters cold and deadly, but often, it is for naught. We drown regardless.” His eyes remain on the moonlit window.
I frown and step closer to him, reaching for his hand. His eyes flash to mine. For a moment I think he’s going to pull away, but he doesn’t.
“Raine will fight until he’s gasping for breath, as will I,” I mutter as I grab his hand and hold it, waiting for my Shadow to greet his as it always does. “Something tells me you’re still fighting too. You’ve been struggling against this for a long time. Haven’t you?”
His brows pinch together in a pained expression that says more than he ever could. Our Shadows mingle gently at our fingertips and I feel every sliver of that sadness. I stare into his eyes, trying to figure out what this feeling is. It’s so starkly different compared to all the others. My Shadow has always been ravenous and hungry for Elias and Raine. But Arthur is different.
Our Shadows greet one another like lost lovers meeting after centuries spent apart. Their dance is soft and forlorn, so much so that I feel like weeping. Arthur raises his other hand and brushes it softly across my neck, sending a shudder through me.
“Yes, I have,” he murmurs with a sad smile and pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me. I instinctively do the same. His scent of burned candles and old pages is welcoming and tears fill my eyes for reasons I refuse to acknowledge.
“I don’t understand our connection through the Shadows. Everything with you is familiar and lost all at once. Will you ever tell me who I am to you?” I ask in a hushed voice.
He remains quiet for a moment, breathing in my scent before pulling away and smiling at me. “Time and memory are old friends.”
I quirk a brow, letting my body fall into his again. I close my eyes and try to focus on the warmth that exists between us. “It feels much more than that.”
Arthur lets his dreary head fall to my shoulder as his hands wrap around me tightly. He holds me like he’ll never let go.
“Perhaps it was.”