Chapter 40
Terra
Hearts are confusing things—Shadows more so, probably because I have no control over how mine guides me. I only know that I feel the emotions it stirs in me with raw conviction. Or is it my own heart? It’s becoming too hard to differentiate.
“Can you tell me who wrote this? Please,” I beg Arthur.
He gently pushes me back and stands, moving to place the book in the spot I pulled it from. Hundreds of tomes fill the bookshelves. He lingers there, so I approach him and watch in silence as he grabs another book. This one is older, near the top shelf.
The covers all look the same, the spines etched with faint words here and there. It makes no organizational sense to me, but it does to Arthur, and I’m sure that’s the point.
He takes his time flipping through the middle of the book and stops, pressing his forefinger to the left page.
“Here it is. I thought it sounded familiar. I think Kallos is the one who wrote that note,” Arthur says under his breath as his eyes continue to scour the pages for information.
I bite my lower lip in frustration. “We already compared the handwriting to his and it wasn’t a match.”
Arthur glances up at me briefly, his gray eyes bright beneath the shadows of moonlight. “You might’ve grabbed someone else’s notes from atop his desk. I’m positive it was Kallos.” He closes the tome and sets it aside on his desk, perhaps for reevaluation once I leave.
“What makes you so sure?” I ask, hesitant to believe him on a whim even though he seems anything but a deceitful man.
He sits in the chair at his desk and catches me staring at him longingly. That warm and nostalgic feeling I get when we touch has an air of happiness and contentment around it that I know I will never experience with another. After our night together in his room, I’ve been reluctant to get too close to him. Everything feels too real and raw with Arthur.
A soft smile spreads across his lips and he opens his arms, offering for me to come to him. He pulls me in close and I tuck my head comfortably on his shoulder, fitting snugly in the crook of his neck. I know he has the same longing as I do. He wears the misery clearly on his sleeve.
“I’m sure because the person who wrote this note was desperate to save the one blighted.” His voice is deep with memories, making my throat tighten with dread. “Elias blighted our comrades when he was still getting used to his Shadow. Some on purpose, most by accident. But a few of our friends were unfortunately among them, one of which Kallos was hellbent on saving. He’s the only one who ever came close to finding a cure.”
I don’t need to ask if he saved them, I already know he didn’t, but I ask anyway.
“They all died?”
Arthur brushes the pad of this thumb over my arm and leans his head on mine softly. “Yes, they all perished.”
“What happens to the blighted when they die?” Another question I don’t want to know the answer to, but my traitorous lips ask it regardless.
“First, they become lethargic. It’s the initial sign that their time is ending. Second, an illness ravages their flesh, like radiation poisoning. Bleeding noses, eyes, gums. Then finally, they die from the pain of their suffering.”
I lean over the armchair and dry heave. My stomach twists ferociously at the image of Raine enduring such a death. Arthur rubs my back soothingly.
“It’s why we resort to killing them in the last throes of the first stage now. The suffering only hurts everyone in the end, the blighted, their friends, and the students overall,” he says matter-of-factly. I know he’s probably numb to it by now, but I’m not.
“That’s disgusting,” I snap and stand from the chair.
He remains seated and nods. “I do hope Kallos can help you. He’s someone you can trust.” Arthur hands me the note and I take it, shoving it back in my pocket.
Amser is already rueful that I’ve separated from him, and the firm line his mouth is pressed in tells me he feels the same way.
I go to leave but turn once more to look at the beautiful man before me. “Arthur?”
“Yes, Terra?”
“Was Elias the only Nova in the beginning?” I don’t know why I question it. I shouldn’t, but I do. Elias wouldn’t lie, would he?
Arthur’s face hardens, his jaw tight and flexed. “Why would you ask me that?” he says as if I’ve cursed his name simply by asking.
“He knows Edgar’s Shadow. And I think the rest of you do too, and that’s only possible if there were other Novas in the past,” I say steadily, watching his features soften as he exhales.
“He wasn’t the only one. But he was the only surviving Nova after the first year. Let’s leave the ghosts to rest, little shadow.” He pauses before continuing: “There is one thing you should know before you go.” He leans forward in his chair, face sobering into despair. “I could’ve mentioned it sooner but wasn’t sure if it was time.” His mouth twists like he’s still deciding whether or not to say whatever secret lurks behind his lips.
My brows knit with worry. “What is it?”
When he speaks, his voice is strained, clearly taking no pleasure in saying the words. “Edgar crossed into his exam portal early. He and his friends tripped the reroute and have been sent to a place in Fernestia we call Noctili. There, soldiers wait for the disloyal students and euthanize them on sight.”
I’m too stunned to reply. My mouth opens a few times but words evade me.
Arthur’s mouth firms and he shakes his head as he says, “You should tell Elias and go before it’s too late.”
My chest is hollow. I’m unsure how to feel about this. Edgar tried to kill me, but he’s still my brother. “Why are you telling me this now?” I finally manage to ask.
Arthur stands and leads me through the hall. “He’s a Nova,” he says bluntly, and there’s obviously another reason but he won’t say. “Here, this door is faster than Ash’s makeshift one.” Arthur opens one of the doors near the end of the hallway. Darkness awaits inside it.
“You knew he was helping us?” My voice is muddled with stress.
Arthur just smiles and shoves me inside the doorway. The next second, I’m standing in Arthur’s spare room in the Nova House.
I don’t waste any time dwelling on Arthur’s actions. The only thought traveling through my mind is that Edgar is in danger. I take the stairs two at a time until I’m standing before Elias’s door.
The light beneath the door is on and I can hear papers shuffling. Thank gods he’s here. I open the door and Elias turns to look at me from over his shoulder. His eyes are apathetic and instead of asking what I need, he only raises a brow.
“Edgar went to Noctili. Please, help me,” I say between heavy breaths, adrenaline pulsing wildly through my veins.
His eyes widen at that and he turns to face me. His white hair is slicked to the side but a few strands fall over his forehead. “Where did you hear that name?”
“Elias, we need to?—”
He stands briskly, shouting, “Where, Terra?”
My skin pebbles with goosebumps at his enraged tone. My Shadow distorts anxiously inside my chest.
“Arthur,” I say quietly.
Elias’s eyes narrow at me before his jaw tightens and he shakes his head and curses. “I won’t go there.”
A knot forms in my throat. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to swallow. “He’ll die,” I beg.
Elias gives me a cold, uninterested look. “I don’t care.”
My bottom lip quivers without my permission. “I’ll save him myself then,” I shout back at him and turn hard on my heels, sprinting down the stairs.
“Terra, don’t fucking go there,” Elias growls after me but I don’t stop until I’m in the homeroom, Raine and Ash blinking up at me with shocked expressions.
Elias catches up to me and sets a heavy hand on my shoulder. “I’ll go,” my assassin says with trepidation, though his eyes are heavy and distant.
Raine’s eyes flare. “Go where? What happened, Terra? Are you okay?” He approaches, ignoring Elias and inspecting my body for any harm.
“We need to hurry. I’ll tell you on the way,” I say quickly.
Ash stays at the Nova House while the three of us make our way out, Elias leading the way. Finn and Kai are walking across the bridge toward us—I told them to meet in the Nova House after midnight so I could tell them if the notes matched or not.
“What’s going on?” Finn’s amber eyes shift to Elias distrustfully, then back to me with concern. My lower lip will bruise at this rate from my anxious biting.
“Edgar’s in trouble,” Raine mutters on my behalf and I blink my appreciation at him. Elias doesn’t stop walking so we hurry to catch up, Finn and Kai in tow now too.
Kai looks at Finn with horror as he mumbles, “You don’t think he and Corvus went through that basement portal do you?”
Finn’s face pales and we all fall silent with dread.