Chapter 11
Eleven
Proteus
Proteus stared down into the pod, horrified at what he had done.
He had just been so angry. So lost in his own confusion and hatred that he'd looked at her and suddenly she was everything that had gone wrong.
Ellie had become a symbol of all the humans who had destroyed his home, turned the sea to mud, and then continued to battle against the People of Water until all hope of fixing what had been broken had nearly been lost.
He hadn't even seen her. He'd seen the enemy who had turned his life upside down. He would have done the same to any sentient creature in his path.
The loss of his family had him reeling. He wasn't himself. The world felt like it had turned against him, even the sea goddess he had always worshipped. He was alone, scared, angry, all the emotions that he did not know how to deal with at all.
He was ashamed of himself for taking it out on her. That wasn't who he was. It wasn't who he had always intended to be. And yet he was the man who had hurt her. An innocent woman who had no reason to be harmed.
Then she had been the one to comfort him.
"You are not a doll," he murmured, staring down through the clear lid as the machine put her to sleep. "And I am sorry I ever treated you as such."
She looked so peaceful as soon as whatever drug that was injected into her body started to work.
He'd never be able to guess what was used, but he was pleased that she looked comfortable.
In her sleep, he wondered if she had already entered the simulation.
Did her mind ever get to rest? He hoped it wouldn't have put her back in that place when she had earned a long sleep. Her body and mind needed it.
Pilot climbed on top of the pod as well, staring down at the unconscious woman as the pod started to knit her skin back together. There was a strange gel-like substance currently being spread over the massive wound.
"I don't feel like I have the right to ask why," Pilot murmured. "Everything in my programming is telling me to get back to work. But there is a part of me that wants to stay right here and make sure she's put back together correctly."
"Do you have any reason to assume it is not capable?"
Pilot pointed to her arm. "Humans are very fragile, Proteus. That arm is in a worse state than you or I could guess. I think it's likely that the machine will replace it. They might have harvested a limb from another clone if we were back in Tau, but that isn't possible considering where we are."
He didn't want to believe he’d broken her beyond repair. But as they both watched, the machine pulled out what looked like a small saw and started hacking through her flesh.
Pilot tapped a few times on the lid, bringing up her vitals. "Well, at least this machine is very thorough. Her vitals are surprisingly stable for such a massive surgery."
"What does it look like?"
"Blood pressure is low, but that's due to blood loss.
Her heart rate is perfectly stable, and it appears even that her oxygen levels haven't been impacted somehow.
" Pilot leaned down to look and then shook his body like a nod.
"Ah, of course. Synthetics are being used to keep her mind believing that her arm is fine.
Fascinating. It's using the chemicals in her own brain to convince her that nothing is wrong. "
He didn't really know what all of that meant. If anything, it just reminded him of a time when he had watched humans experimenting on each other.
They used to be obsessed with it, at least when he had been alive. Perhaps even then they had known that there would be a time when they would not be able to live on land. The wealthy man had spent countless hours of his time and money to try to splice humans together with other creatures.
It had never worked. Not once. The human DNA that he used simply could not be melded with another creature. They were very different.
He had been focused on trying to steal what the undines came by naturally, just like many of the men and women who had lived in Tau. Proteus had watched those videos, too. He'd seen them trying their best to become the creatures who lived beneath the waves, but they had never succeeded.
The machine under his hands whirred. Even Pilot reacted with surprise as it suddenly seemed to shift.
Then he watched as it removed her arm entirely, cauterized the wound, and then placed the arm in a small tray.
Her arm sank into the belly of the pod, and then a drawer opened next to them.
It hit him on the tail, nearly closing again before he grabbed it.
Now he was staring down at her mangled arm which was no longer attached to her body. It was so much smaller like this. The tiny fingers curled in on themselves, and her skin speckled with blood.
"What do I do with it?" he asked Pilot.
Proteus feared his eyes were wide with shock. He didn't expect to be given the limb. Should he consume it? He did after all need as much sustenance as he could get.
Pilot hit his legs on the side of the pod so hard that he was forced to look at the droid. "Drop it into the water and let the current have its way with her arm," the droid said sternly. "Do not do what you're thinking of doing. She'd never forgive you."
"Is it not a waste?"
"Other creatures will make use of it. If you are hungry, you can go track down another whale."
He supposed that was the truth. Proteus lifted it delicately and tried not to focus on how stiff it had already become before tossing it out of the hatch.
He returned to the surgery that was happening before his eyes, still a little unsure of himself.
This all made him feel strange. Guilty. Like he was the problem when he. ..
Well, he was the problem.
"How do I make it up to her?" he asked the droid. "Surely you are more knowledgeable about human interactions than I am?"
"Make up... what? Almost killing her?"
That made it sound far worse than he felt about it. After all, he had stopped before she died. Proteus tried not to show how much the thought of making such a mistake made him angry. "Injuring her."
"Tearing her arm off?"
"It was still attached when I stopped myself!
Her lack of an arm is entirely the fault of the machine she's currently in.
" He wasn't helping his cause. "Fine. How do I apologize appropriately for losing control over myself and biting through her arm, thus making it so that she had to lose the limb because I was struggling with my own emotions? "
"Are you going to do it again?" Pilot tapped a few more times, keeping a clear eye on her vitals.
"I don't intend to."
"That's not really good enough, Proteus. You have to know that you won't harm her again or anything you say will just be a lie. She'll know it's a lie, and that will make everything even more complicated. Trust is earned, not freely given."
He watched as the machine started whirring again.
Both of them stared down at the smooth sleeve it was creating next to her arm.
It seemed that Pilot was right. The machine was going to remake a limb for her that easily.
It was almost like it had done it before for her.
At first, it seemed to work on a 3D mapping of her body that it had stored.
Then it was working on building the piece while she rested.
Every now and then another needle would approach her neck, injecting her with whatever medication it thought she needed. And all the while, he kept himself calm and tried to think through what Pilot had said.
This was a droid. Proteus did not need to explain himself, his feelings, or what he was doing to this creature. After all, the little thing had been made to serve him. It was a hunk of metal.
But then he noticed that some of the rust had been peeling off of Pilot's back as they spoke. Using a single claw, he nudged more of the rust off of his droid and watched it flake onto the ground.
"Why are you peeling?" he asked.
"She sprayed something on me from the pod, because she said everyone deserved to live their life rust free." Pilot clacked a few times and muttered something about how the machine had better be watching her blood pressure a little more closely.
The droid had proven himself to be a little vain. Proteus had never even had a stray thought about the orange rust that had turned the droid another color. But now, as the silver metal of his form came through, there was a truth that Proteus had refused to even consider.
"You like her." The words were more accusation than realization.
"I don't like anyone. It's not in my programming."
"Yes, it is. Clearly. You have a soft spot for the human who took away your rust. I don't know if I find that endearing or pathetic." Proteus thought about it a bit more and then finally said, "I believe it is more endearing."
Pilot didn't respond for a while. They both watched the machine finish making the arm.
It was nearly identical to her other one, even going so far as to paint veins on the insides of her wrists.
Then the machine started working with the arm, turning it so the fingers moved and the wrist bent correctly. It was... odd to watch.
Whatever pod this was, it was extremely advanced. Tau clearly took the health and safety of its clones far more seriously than they did for their own people.
Pilot tapped a few more times, still keeping an eye on everything before he murmured, "I do like her.
She's kind, almost to a fault. She's quick witted and rather lovely to talk to.
Even though she teases me incessantly and I do believe that is a horrid trait in a person.
She is smarter than any other human I've met, and she even sends me notes in binary while we're working together.
These things have made my programming... difficult."
"I thought you said you weren't programmed to favor people?" he said wryly.
"I was programmed to experience more than the average droid. I like to fight against that, because I think it is easier for me not to think about how different I am. The other droids get to live a life much easier than I do. Emotions are hard to live with."
Proteus understood that feeling more than most. Look at what he had done with the difficult emotions going through him?
"I visited the ancients," he murmured, knowing that Pilot would understand what he was talking about. "They are gone."
"Gone where?"
"Gone. For good." His hands curled into fists when the droid froze. "I stayed with them until they died. Their voices will sing in the depths no longer. Our sea is without guidance, and without any gods to visit. That is why I acted the way I did."
"Are they not your progenitors?"
"They created me. They raised me. They brought me into this world, and they threatened to take me out of it more times than I could count.
" He rubbed the back of his neck and then shook his head.
"I did not think I would miss them. I told myself I didn't miss them at all while I was locked away in that coffin. "
Pilot shifted again, this time clearly looking up at him. "But you were wrong? Did you miss them?"
"Every single day I was there. I was so angry at them for leaving me, but I was lying to myself. Now that they are gone, I only wish I had more time."
Proteus watched the machine move the new arm to where her missing one was.
With rather impressive precision, it started attaching the prosthetic to her body.
But it didn't even look like a prosthetic.
The machine was pulling out long tendrils from her body, something Pilot informed him were nerves.
It connected them to the new limb so that it would work entirely like she had never lost anything at all.
Throughout the entire procedure, she never once moved or shifted.
Instead, she just lay there, looking rather comfortable for all that was being done.
It was shocking to know that Tau had created these clones, understanding that they would likely need to be put back into their compartments after they were hurt.
"Do you think this is the first time she's had such extensive surgery?" he asked quietly, already knowing the answer.
"No," Pilot said. "I think most of the clones have experienced surgery like this before.
From what I researched, they were often harvested for limbs and organs.
These pods are to keep the bodies alive for as long as possible, so more pieces can be harvested.
As far as the machine is concerned, her arm was needed for another procedure. "
That was disgusting. Beyond horrendous. It was barbaric to consider they were doing that to people while allowing others to live freely and comfortably.
He leaned back a bit as the pod made a hissing sound. He leapt back, trying not to get in the way any more than he already was. But then he realized that it was opening.
Pilot hopped off the top, clattering onto the floor and trying to get out of the way before the lid fell on top of him. And as they both watched, the pod opened up and allowed fresh air in.
Ellie took a deep breath, her lungs filling with air all on their own.
How long had the surgery even taken? A few hours?
He'd been staring at her and watching the surgery happen with Pilot for such a long time, he wasn't certain how long those breaks between talking had been.
But it didn't feel like long enough for the machine to wake her.
Another metal arm lifted from inside the machine, and it sprayed some kind of white fog into her face. She breathed it in, and then those strange eyes fluttered back open. So pale they were almost entirely white, she turned her head to look at him.
"You didn't put me back in the simulation," she said. "Why didn't you?"
That ache in his chest had to be his hearts, but he didn't know why they were hurting. "I told you that I wouldn't. If you wish to go back into that simulation, it must be by your own choice."
She blinked a few times, then lifted her new arm and wrapped her hand around the side of the pod. "All right, well. I don't really wish to go back in yet."
"Shouldn't you rest?"
She gave him an odd look. "Why would I do that?"
Proteus stared at her arm and then back up into her eyes. "Because I... I..."
"Oh." She rolled her eyes and then pushed herself out of the pod. "It's not the worst thing I've seen done to a clone."
He hated that he believed her.