Chapter 12
Twelve
Ellie
They were treating her like glass, and she didn't like it. Ellie had always been useful. Useful made her feel important. She liked working with her hands and mind, and yet for the past three days, all Proteus and Pilot wanted her to do was rest.
They said she needed to heal after her surgery.
Humans took a long time to feel better after trauma like that.
Proteus was barely even coming back to the facility at all, citing that he needed to address the damaged facilities and she couldn’t be helpful in those circumstances. Not with an injured arm.
She liked it when he was here and able to answer her questions, though. Without being able to ask them, she couldn't be certain that she was doing what needed to be done. Ellie was starting to feel a little untethered, and she didn't like the sensation in the slightest.
All her life, she'd been told what to do. Not having someone doing that was making her head spin.
"It's been three days," she scolded Pilot as he tried, yet again, to move her away from the console.
"The least I can do is review the drone footage.
I can figure out where we can head into the main facility and how to enter the building in the safest way.
If you let me take control over one, then I could really look around. "
"You need to rest that arm, and it's not fair for you to use it. You didn't tell me he bit off your dominant hand," he scolded, yet again.
She'd been trying to hide that for a few days now. Apparently, that was the worst thing she could have done to poor Pilot. Now he was certain everything he'd given her as an easy task had hurt her arm worse.
It seemed that neither of these men in her new life understood that it didn't matter if she'd been injured.
Her pod was designed to put her back together again.
She was a doll that could be played with as roughly as anyone wanted.
If they wanted to rip all her limbs off, the pod would just build her new ones.
Maybe that's what she needed to make very clear to the two of them. Nothing could really hurt her, not like they were thinking. And if they would just give her a chance to prove that, then maybe they wouldn't feel so guilty about what had occurred.
She still wasn't all that certain why Proteus had entered the facility with such anger. It didn't matter why he was angry, she supposed. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her.
That's how Malcolm always ran his life. She knew only what he wanted her to know. Regardless of her own thirst for knowledge.
So the next time Proteus entered the building, she launched up from where she had been leaning against her pod. "Proteus!"
He flinched, and then seemingly lunged far across the room. Like he was afraid.
But that couldn't have been right. The god-like creature of the sea had no reason to fear her, or realistically, anything in the ocean. He was strong and large and had more weapons dotting his body than even the greatest ships of Tau. Why would he be afraid of her?
"I brought food," he said, eyeing her as if she were going to jump at him. "I realized I have not been providing any sort of sustenance for you while you were here."
"I have food," she replied.
Pilot interrupted them from his position on the console. "No, she doesn't. She's running out of those nutrient packets. It's a good thing you brought whatever it was you brought. Hopefully, it's edible."
Proteus scowled at the both of them and then lifted his hand. In it, he clutched a good handful of what looked like dead squid. "I have seen humans eating these before. I know they will not make you sick."
"Squid?" she breathed. "I have seen Malcolm eating these. I don't know how to cook them down here without ventilation, but I can make something work. I'm certain."
"Cook?" The furrows between Proteus's nude brows grew deeper. "I had forgotten humans do not eat their food raw."
"I don't know if you can eat squid raw..
." She supposed she could give it a try?
There were likely bacterial infections or parasites to worry about, but then again, the pod should be able to fix all those issues as well.
Ellie didn't enjoy the thought of intestinal distress when she'd already been trying to be as discreet about that as possible.
Pilot didn't care if she relieved herself through the porthole, but Proteus might not like swimming through her refuse to get inside of this room.
The sound of a disappointed droid interrupted her thoughts. "If you're going to eat them, you better do it quickly. That won't be fresh forever, and that's when it'll likely hurt you. So eat up, princess."
Princess?
She stepped forward to take the squid from Proteus, only to have him rear back from her once again. He set the fresh squid on the floor and then backed away from it quickly, bunching himself up in the corner so he wouldn't disturb her.
"Why are you acting like that?" she asked, grabbing the squid and swishing them in the cold seawater one last time. She walked on this floor. He shouldn't put raw food on it and then expect her to eat it.
Proteus just stared, as he tended to do when he was trying to figure her out.
She looked at the squid instead, then. If he was going to be odd—as if he wasn't ever not odd—then she would focus on the task at hand. Eating these would likely not be a very pleasant experience, but she did need the calories.
Like Pilot had said, her food supply was running shockingly low for how short of a time she'd been here.
There wasn't any way to make the food taste better. Lifting it up a little higher, she stared at the pale, translucent body and muttered, "Down the hatch, I suppose."
Swallowing it whole felt like she had somehow done something wrong. One moment, she was fine, and the next, a gag reflex nearly had her spewing the dead squid and the rest of her nutrient packet onto the floor.
It wasn't necessarily the taste. There was an undeniably fresh quality to the squid that she knew was the correct flavor. But the texture was shocking. It was so smooth, not quite slimy, but certainly not dry. It slid down her throat and then seemed to get stuck so she couldn't keep swallowing.
It did go down, though. She managed to swallow the entirety of the disgusting creature and then tried very hard to smile through the nausea. "Delicious."
Proteus stared at her as if she'd lost her mind. Then Pilot made a clanking noise and turned his attention back to the screens. "At the very least, you should have cut it up. Swallowing it like Proteus is only going to choke you. Humans."
Right. She could have sliced the little squid into more manageable bites. That would have been a much more reasonable choice.
Ellie bit her lip. "I haven't ever had real food. Nutrient packets were all I've ever been given, so I don't really know how to eat this. It seems that there is a right and a wrong way."
The monster in the shadows held out his massive hand. The claws at the tips were still intimidating, but Ellie found it easier to hand over the other four squid he had hunted her. At least he would be able to cut it with those claws, and maybe she could slurp down smaller pieces a little easier.
Still, he remained so far from her. It was hard to even reach across the hatch to give him the squid.
"Why are you way over there?" she asked again.
He sliced a clean piece off the squid and held the strip out to her. It was much easier to manage, but still it was hard to swallow down. Almost like it was too big for her throat, even though it was such a tiny piece.
"Because I assumed you would be frightened of me." Those dark eyes were intense as he stared into her gaze. "I thought you would not wish to see me again after all that happened."
"I'm a doll, remember? They made me for whatever purpose my master sees fit." Ellie grimaced as she felt the squid slide down her sternum into her stomach, finally free from her throat. "If you wish to hurt me, you can. The pod will fix almost any injury as long as I'm still alive."
"You shouldn't have to live like that. Not in fear. It was a mistake on my part, and one that should not be so easily forgiven." He stripped another slice from the squid and held it out to her. "Chew this time, Sisu."
"My name is Ellie." She took the squid and tried to imagine what chewing would feel like. She knew what teeth were for. She'd had them her entire life and yet never really used them. They were for chewing, mashing food. She did it in the simulation, so why couldn’t she do it here?
This time, she put the squid in her mouth and opened and closed her jaw. Easy enough, once she really started doing it. Her natural instincts seemed to kick in, and then when she swallowed, it was much easier for her to do so. It didn't hurt this time, and now it made sense why humans chewed.
She'd only been given nutrient packets her entire life. That was all. Liquid food meant she never had to chew, so this was an entirely new task for her, but one that was rather satisfying.
"I know your name," he replied, that deep rumbling voice filling the chamber. "Sisu is the name I give you."
She quite liked Ellie, but if he wanted to rename her, she supposed that was all right. Shrugging it off, she waited for him to continue slicing through the squid, piece by piece, until her belly was so full it felt like it was near to bursting.
Finally, she held up her hand to tell him to stop. "Thank you, Proteus, I am very full now."
"You should not thank me. It is I who should be paying penance for harming you. I will do my best to prove that you are safe with me, but perhaps you wish to be apart from me for a while yet. The plan can wait. The ocean is patient."
"No, I don't want to be the person who slows everything down.
" Ellie headed back over to the screens, gently brushing Pilot aside so she could pull up the drone footage.
"We've found a way in, you see. A few channels that I could certainly fit through.
I think even you could move through one of them, and then we could get into the Sanctuary as you have wished. "
"You should be resting."
Never in her life had she felt anger. There had been a lot of disappointment, refusal to see the world as it truly was, and frustration at her master for not listening to her. But this rage that burned deep in her belly was as unfamiliar as it was enjoyable.
She spun around quickly, so she didn't slam her fist down on important equipment, but she knew her voice had a snap to it that made Proteus’s eyes widen.
"I am not fragile," she argued. "I have lived my life like this for many years.
I have been a clone in a pod, living in stasis and growing only as my master saw fit.
I have lived a life that is not an easy one.
I have been beaten, broken, abused, and torn apart by scientists.
My brain was once used for a study! They took the top of my head off and poked around in there, waiting to see what part of my body reacted, and I had to be awake for all of it to tell them if it hurt or not.
I am not a fragile little creature who cannot be trusted to take care of herself.
If I say I am healed, Proteus, then I am healed. "
The silence that followed that declaration was deafening. Perhaps she'd revealed too much. Sometimes she did that, and people were uncomfortable.
But she wanted him to know the truth. She wanted him to understand that she wasn't going to let a little lost limb make her life anything other than what it had to be.
Ellie was built for a purpose. And right now, her purpose was to help them.
It was as if he could see into her soul.
Proteus had an expression that said he knew exactly what she was thinking, and how she was struggling with what it meant to be human.
He could see that she needed to do something with herself to keep busy and to feel like there was a purpose for her to even be awake.
Perhaps he could even see that she needed to know she was being helpful. Otherwise she would end up back in that dream space within her pod. She feared going back to sleep and not knowing what was happening in the world.
Maybe that was why he agreed.
"All right," he said. "We will start our journey soon, then. But you will agree to do something for me first."
She swallowed, knowing that whatever he might want would be something difficult. "Anything you ask, I will make sure it is done."
"You will learn more about what it is to be human. Not through any book or screen, but through doing. You must learn how to walk through this world making your own choices, rather than waiting for someone to order you around."
"I don't know why that’s—”
He interrupted her. "You will be speaking with other humans on my behalf.
They must believe you are who you say you are.
I do not know if they will take orders from a clone, nor do I believe they will be kind to you if they knew your origins.
Someday, you will be my mouthpiece to your people, and I will not have their mistrust of you ruin this plan. "
Ellie supposed that made sense. After all, if she was going to be working with her own people, she did need them to trust her.
But she wasn't entirely sure why he would be the one suggesting this plan. Shouldn't she be the one who thought about that?
Hesitantly, she asked, "How do you want me to do that while I'm stuck in here?"
"You won't be stuck in here for much longer." He took a deep breath, nostrils flaring as the bones in his body started to glow. "I will bring you through the sea. You will like it."
"Through the sea?"
"Yes."
She looked at Pilot and then back at the god before her. "So you intend to put me back into the pod after all?"
Once more, confusion crossed Proteus's features. She'd never seen him look quite so thunderstruck. "Why would I do that?"
"I cannot breathe underwater," she said slowly, impressing upon him just how dangerous this was.
But he only paused for a moment before shrugging. “Surely that is fixable?”