Sully
Ineed to get out of the apartment. I need space and to clear my head. I need to stop thinking about how good it felt to wake up with her in my arms and how much it hurt when she made it clear this is still just casual for her.
Fish finds me on the bench press, eyebrows raised.
“Nothing.” I grunt through another rep.
He doesn’t buy it. “Come on, if you keep going in your current mood, you’re going to hurt yourself. Let’s head to the wellness center and have a swim in the mineral baths.”
He’s right, so I rack the bar and follow him, too tired to argue.
We head over to the wellness center and check in for the mineral baths.
The place is quiet this time of day, the air thick with the faint scent of eucalyptus and minerals.
The mineral baths are a series of large, natural stone pools filled with magnesium, known for helping with muscle recovery.
The lighting is soft and dim, with steam rising gently from the surface of the water.
It’s one of the few places in the building where you can actually relax and let your mind quiet.
He changes into some swim shorts, and I keep my gym shorts on and sink into one of the hotter pools, the warm water immediately soothing my overworked muscles. Fish leans back against the edge, closing his eyes for a moment before looking at me.
“All right, spill. You’ve been off for weeks. What’s going on?”
I stare at the steam rising from the water for a long moment, then finally break.
I tell him everything. It started with the kiss in Maine.
That night on the beach after Fish’s wedding.
I told her I’d help her forget for a moment, and then I kissed her.
It was supposed to be one kiss. One moment.
But it turned into something neither of us could stop.
She ran afterward, and I thought she regretted it.
She thought I did. But it opened the floodgates.
After we got back to New York, it started happening again. She’d sneak into my room late at night. No words, just need. We thought it was one night, and then it became almost every night. Her creeping into my bed. It’s been intense. I’ve become addicted to her again.
I even tell him about the past, how each time she broke up with Kevin she would run to me.
And then every single time she would get back with Kevin.
And then the last time when I thought they would have broken up for good, I told her I loved her, and I begged her to choose me over Kevin, that I could love her better than he can.
But in the end, she didn’t or couldn’t. I confess to him that I have stupidly never really stopped loving her.
Fish listens. “Damn, man. You’ve been carrying that for a long time and never told anyone?”
“Yeah. Not like I can tell Cap, hey, I have feelings for your sister.”
“True, he would kill you, but it’s not like he has a leg to stand on, seeing as he is with Jo.”
I get what he is saying. “The thing is, Cassidy busted us this morning.”
Fish’s mouth falls open in surprise. “Ah, that’s why you are down here. She lost it?”
“Quite the opposite actually, she laughed.”
“Laughed?” Fish repeats, eyebrows shooting up.
“Yeah. She said she was proud of Ember for moving on from Kevin and that it was kind of fitting that it was with me, because it’s not the first time I’ve helped her pick up the pieces after him. Then she told me I was gross and left to get coffee like it was no big deal.”
Fish stares at me for a second, then bursts out laughing. “Holy shit. Only Cassidy. So, what does that mean for you two now?”
I lean back against the edge of the pool, staring at the steam rising from the water. “Nothing, she made it clear many times we were just friends with benefits for her. She isn’t interested in dating anyone right now.”
Fish nods slowly. “Understandable, I mean, she’s not quite divorced yet, and the trauma of walking in on her husband with his best friend would be a lot to work through.”
“Shit, Cassidy. Firstly, she walks in on her husband, and now she’s walked in on her brother and best friend.” I rake my hand through my hair.
Fish whistles like, oh shit.
“Fuck, I’ve fucked up,” I tell him.
“No, you haven’t,” Fish says. “But, you have feelings for her, and she is nowhere near ready for that. I’m going to be honest, man, I don’t think now is the time for the two of you.”
The sinking realization hits me, I’ve been living in fantasyland. And as my sister said, I’m just a rebound. I realize I’ve always been her rebound, and maybe that is all I’ll ever be.
“She deserves to be single. To figure out who she is. She’s a work in progress right now, and while, yes, she has let you in, it’s not in the way you want nor deserve,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder.
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“It sucks that I am. You’re doing the right thing, man. You’ve got to protect yourself. You deserve someone who’s ready for you, too. Because I know you want that next chapter, and as hard as it may be, maybe you and Ember were never endgame.”
I nod, but the ache in my chest doesn’t ease. “When the hell did you get so wise?”
Fish laughs. “Shh, don’t tell anyone,” he teases. “Look, if you honestly believe that Ember is the right person for you, then give her time. If this time next year she is still single, then make your move.”
I’m not sure if I can wait a year, but I don’t have a choice.
“Anyway, enough about my shit. How about you? How’s married life been treating you?”
“Luckiest man alive.” He grins like a Cheshire cat.
“I’m happy for you.”
“I know you are,” he says.
“Is it hard?”
“What? Being married?” he asks. I nod. “No way in the world. Best thing that ever happened to me. She’s my best friend. She makes me a better man when I am with her. I am genuinely excited for our future.”
This, coming from the biggest playboy on the team.