Chapter 10
Ihaven’t seen Robyn all day, which is for the best. I can’t believe I allowed myself to give in to my impulses, ignoring all my inner thoughts telling me that what I did to her in the privacy of my bedroom was a bad idea. I knew that, of course I did, but something came over me and I didn’t care.
When I offered her to stay Wednesday evening, I didn’t expect this to turn into some dirty, forbidden fuck-fest between me and my stepdaughter by Thursday night.
I’ve never apologised for a single thing in my goddamn life, never had the desire to and never wanted to, but for the first time, Robyn makes me feel like I have to.
What we did was consensual—that I know for sure—because I never would’ve touched her otherwise.
That’s not who I am. I don’t take from a woman simply because I want it.
Both parties have to be open to it, and I asked her…
Christ, my tone was almost begging her to tell me to stop because then at least I would’ve gotten my control back.
But she didn’t.
She begged for it.
I shouldn’t have touched her regardless.
I just lost all sense of self-awareness when I saw her kneeling on the bed like that. I should have turned around and left, shackled myself to the desk in my office, and thought about all the reasons this was a fucking bad idea. I know that. But I didn’t.
Her age, and the fact she’s my stepdaughter didn’t even come into the equation when I darted across the room and snatched her wrist up in my hand, stopping her from ending that livestream.
I had to touch her; there was no other choice.
I thought that if I did, if I caved into my sexual desires for her, I could chalk it up as a weak moment and a mistake on both our parts.
But it’s not.
All it’s done is make me crave more of her.
The look on her face and how her body reacted beautifully to me degrading her is something I’ll never be able to forget.
Although now, all I can think of is the thought of her waking up this morning and feeling some kind of regret, and I can’t bear to face her if that’s the case. Her body was unreal, like nothing I’ve ever seen before, and not at all like I’d imagined being under her clothes.
I could’ve stopped it.
I should have for fucks sake.
When I saw that tiny silver bar pierced through her clit, I was done for, a man possessed, and in that moment… she belonged to me.
Jack, you need to get a grip, what would your childhood priest say about this behaviour.
My phone chimes loudly beside me, jerking me out of the trance I’m in, and when I begrudgingly flick my eyes to look at the screen, Ellis’s name lights up. Maybe talking to my brother will help distract me momentarily. Either that or he’s going to do what he always does… and rip me a new one.
I pick up my phone and slide my thumb along the screen to answer his call. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this call?” I smirk.
“I need some advice,” he states matter-of-factly, a slight agitation to his voice.
“On a Friday morning? I thought you’d be hungover in a ditch somewhere after your team’s win last night. Congratulations by the way.”
“Thanks… I am… but that’s not the point.”
“You’re pregnant?” I joke, because it’s rare that he ever calls me for any kind of advice, and there’s no way I’m about to pass this up.
“Yes, you’re about to be an uncle,” he drones sarcastically. “But it’s more serious than that.”
I chuckle briefly. “Alright, advice about what? Talk to me, little brother.”
“Fuck, I hate it when you call me that, but… well, it’s—”
“Fuck me, spit it out, I’ve never heard you this tongue-tied.”
“Shit,” he grumbles, which only makes it seem more serious. “It’s about doing something I know I shouldn’t be… because I can’t, but reaaally want to.”
“I’m not sure I’m the best person for you to talk to about this right now, Ellis, considering I’m in the same situation… or worse.” I groan, slouching back in my couch and widening my legs for better comfort.
Ignoring me, he continues talking. “There’s this guy, and he’s young…
like really young, and—” He pauses briefly.
“Hhhold on!” my brother exclaims, and I realise then, that anything he planned on talking to me about is completely out the window now.
“What did you mean by that? You’re my brother, you’re always the right person to talk to about shit like this, and…
” Hearing him say something like that isn’t unusual for him, but it still warms my heart none the less. “Jack? You there?”
“Huh?”
“Huh?” he mimics. “What’s going on with you? And how are you in the same position as I am?”
“Ignore what I—”
“Ohh no, there’s no way that’s happening. My issues can wait; I want to hear this. So, spill it.”
“You’re such a gossip queen.”
“You know it.” He chuckles. “So, what’s the problem?”
I clear my throat, taking a few seconds to mentally prepare myself for what his reaction is going to be. “Well, you’re asking me for advice on whether you should do something you know you shouldn’t be, but I’m kind of already in that… or past that situation, I guess.”
“You guess?”
“No, well…” Why the fuck am I finding it hard to speak right now? I look behind me to make sure she isn’t standing there listening before I continue, “Robyn’s here.”
“Robyn?” he asks, confusion lacing his tone, and I let the name settle in with him for a few seconds. “Robyn, Robyn, Robyn…” He repeats her name trying to remember who I’m talking about, and then it hits him. “Wait, you mean the skeksi’s daughter?”
I bark out a laugh at the movie reference, and answer him.
“Yep.” I accentuate the word by popping the P.
The line goes so silent, and I think the call was dropped.
But before I have a chance to even say the word hello, checking to see whether he is still on the other end, he bursts out laughing. “Please tell me you fucked her.”
“What? No!” I answer immediately. “Nothing happened,” I lie.
“Bullshit!” he barks. “You’re so bad at lying, Jack, I can practically hear the wrinkles in your forehead creasing because of it.”
“Fuck you.”
“Did she?”
“No.”
“So… how are you going to correct that?”
“Wait.” I slice my hand through the air as though he can see me. “You’d be okay with this if I did?”
“You’re forty-nine, Jack, you don’t need my permission to fuck your twenty-five-year-old stepdaughter.
” He guffaws. “Besides, it’s not as though you raised her…
I mean you’ve only met her three or four times more than I have.
So,” he continues, chuckling dryly, “you haven’t fucked her, but you want to don’t you? You dirty dog, you.”
“Ellis, I can’t.”
“Uh, why?”
“She’s my fucking stepdaughter.”
“So? Maybe she likes a little sugar with her daddy.”
“Ellis, stop.” I laugh through my words because he really does know how to lighten a stressful situation for me. “It’s… wrong.”
Ignoring me completely, he starts asking questions. “Have you kissed her?”
“No.”
“Eaten her out?”
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Have you touched her sexually?” he asks, and I automatically freeze up. My silence is enough to confirm to him that I have… in fact… touched her. “You filthy motherfucker,” my brother sings before falling into full blown fits of laughter. “I’m going to call you Leonardo DiCreepio from now on.”
I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees and squeeze the bridge of my nose, before running my thumb and index finger along my closed eyes. “How are you finding this so funny?” Nothing about his reaction is helping, but I wouldn’t expect anything less from him.
“Because it is. Robyn’s practically an ovum.”
“She’s twenty-five.”
“Ahh, that makes it so much better. So, tell me what happened.”
“Fuck,” I groan. “She’s got such a smart fucking mouth, Ellis, it’s driving me insane, and she has an answer for everything too it seems. She showed up unannounced the other night, or her stupid mother forgot to fucking tell me… not sure which one, and well… we’re currently snowed in together.”
“She’s such a shit parent.”
“Tell me about it. I let her stay because it was late, and I was being… nice, and—”
“You? Nice? Shocking.”
“Again, fuck you. Anyway, I wake up yesterday morning, and what do you know… there’s a blizzard happening right outside my fucking door. And I’m talking three inches of snow and rising type snowfall. Anyway, she tries to leave, I drag her back in, my towel falls off, and—”
“Your towel fell off? Or did you tear it off to show her your wee willy winky?”
“First of all, my dick… isn’t small, second of all, I hope you choke on the next one you suck for even insinuating it is.”
“I always do,” he jokes. “But… continue. I need more. Maybe I am a gossip queen.” The line is silent for a few seconds as I’m sure he’s debating with himself whether he is or not, so instead of sitting quietly, I go through the entirety of yesterday with him, making sure to leave nothing out, because my brother may be younger than me, but he does—on the odd occasion—give outstanding advice.
But I have to whisper so she doesn’t hear anything I say to him.
Ellis listens intently to everything, replying where necessary, and asking confirming questions so he understands everything.
My brother might be a whore, but he’s a great listener.
“Anyway, last night I decided to go up to her room and apologise.”
“As you do.”
At this point I’m pacing around my office as I speak. “I walk in without knocking, which was so fucking stupid on my part because she could’ve been naked. But colour me surprised when I walk in to her doing cam work.”
“What? No way?” my brother exclaims in shock. “You’re fucking shitting me?”
“I wish I was. It was live, she was dressed in this underwear, and I—”
“Couldn’t take it any longer… I get it. I have to say though, her being a cam girl… fucking hot.”
“Ellis, you’re not helping.”
“I’m shocked you didn’t fuck her then and there to be completely honest with you. I’m gay, and that might have had me questioning my sexuality a little.”