Chapter 10 #2
“No, I didn’t fuck her, however I did do stuff to her on—”
“Stuff? Jack, you sound like a pre-pubescent teenager, say what you—”
“I finger-fucked her on livestream and choked her with my leather belt. There, you happy?”
Silence.
“Ellis?”
“At the risk of sounding crass, you need to shove your dick inside her and get it over with.” Did he not listen to a single thing I said?
“Maybe it’s the desire to have something you shouldn’t that’s making you this way.
The only thing I can suggest is fucking her and getting it out of your system, then both of you might come to realise it was a mistake to begin with and move on. ”
“I’m not even divorced yet, not to mention my ex is her mother.”
“That’s a technicality. She won’t be for much longer.” He brushes my statement off so easily, like it means nothing.
“And what if your theory doesn’t work? Huh? And I want to keep having sex with her?”
“Your old enough to make your own decisions. Jennifer fucked the chef; you fuck her daughter. It makes total sense.”
I release a heavy sigh to try and settle the thoughts going through my mind. I know that touching her last night was enough to set every single nerve ending of mine on fire. I wanted her then, but I held back, if I take it a step further, there’s no way I’m going to stop.
Robyn isn’t the type of woman you fuck just once.
“Christ, she’s not the type of woman you use for sex. I might not know much about her, but I know without a shadow of a doubt she deserves more than that.”
“Well, unfortunately that’s all the advice I have for now. Take it or leave it. Fuck her, don’t fuck her. It’s your choice.”
“Thanks for the advice, oh mighty one.” I chuckle. “What did you call to ask me, anyway?”
“It doesn’t matter now, listening to you was enough to make me realise I shouldn’t go there.”
I frown, screwing my entire face up in reaction to what he just said. “What the fuck? After all that so-called advice?”
“Yep. Anyway, let me know how it goes.”
“Ellis, wait.”
“Peace out!”
“Ellis?”
The line goes dead before I have a chance to ask him to tell me about it, and even though I just spent the last hour on the phone with my brother, I’m still no closer to a decision on what should be done.
I am so fucked.
“Damn it!” I snap, scrubbing my hand over my face and dropping my head back against the back of the couch. “What a mess,” I mutter to nobody but myself. All my work was finished pretty early today because I made sure to keep myself busy, give her some space, keep… away… from… her.
During lunch, I heard her having a heated conversation with someone upstairs, and as muffled as it was, none of it sounded good. Hearing the sound of her voice crack—which normally would have no effect on me whatsoever—only filled me with a certain type of anger I hadn’t felt in a long time.
The only questions running through my mind were: Who upset her? Why was she so angry? What could I do to cheer her up?
But still, as it wasn’t my business, I stayed away.
I release another frustrated groan, realising I’ve been staring at the blank screen of the TV for however long, just getting lost in my thoughts all over again, and I have no idea why I’m doing it with her. I need something to distract me.
Picking up the remote I begin scrolling through Netflix for a few moments in search of something to calm my racing mind before finally settling on Apocalypse Now.
Leaning forward, I grab my second bottle of Bud from the coffee table and twist off the cap, tossing it into the small trash can beside me on the couch.
“Hey.”
Shit!
I jerk forward from the couch, holding my arm in front of me to stop the beer landing all over my grey tracksuit.
Did she just get the drop on me?
Turning to face her, I take in the entirety of her unbelievable form.
Robyn stands behind me, both hands gripping the back of the couch as she leans forward with a happy smirk on her face, wearing nothing but a pair of extremely short pajama pants and an oversized hoodie with FBI written in large white writing.
Fuck, she looks delectable.
As I look at her—really look at her—I notice how defeated she looks. Her usual, pink-tinted cheeks, doe eyes, and sarcastic glare are just… missing. And I don’t like it.
You don’t need to care.
There’s pain behind her eyes, as though what happened between us last night has drained her.
Christ.
Did I cause this?
I should’ve known better.
“Surprised you didn’t hear me come down the stairs.” Her sombre tone jerks something deep within my chest that makes me want to wrap her in my arms and make her feel protected in a way that only I can give her.
“I was deep in thought,” I answer honestly, turning back to face the television. “I’ve barely seen you all day.”
“Aw, did you miss me, princess?” She snorts dryly, rounding the sofa and dropping down beside me.
She’s close. Too close.
“I like the clothing choice.”
I look down at my tracksuit, knowing immediately what she’s getting at. Grey sweatpants for women, are like summer dresses for men… they drive them crazy, and I curse myself momentarily for wearing it, but at the same time I like that she likes it.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, taking a long sip of my beer as I desperately try to veer the conversation away from anything that might get my dick hard again, because I’ve only just settled it down.
Robyn shrugs. “I guess, why? Did you cook again?”
I nod, lifting my wrist up and checking the time on my watch. 7:28 p.m. “Should be ready soon.” Settling back on the sofa, I lift my right arm up and rest it along the backrest. “Hope you like lasagna.”
“I do.”
Both of us sit in silence, watching the movie for what feels like an eternity, not a peep coming out of her except subtle noises of enjoyment.
The quiet I can deal with, even her sarcastic contemptuous tone when she speaks to me, but what I can’t handle, what’s stopping me from concentrating, is how sad she is.
I want to ask her what’s wrong, but I feel like it’s partially to do with me, and I’m just not ready to hear that right now.
I steal a momentary glance at her, only now noticing the much smaller writing underneath the FBI logo on her hoodie. “Female body inspector.” I huff out an unexpected chuckle in response to the logo. “Very cute.”
Robyn looks up at me and I watch as a slow but beautiful smile begins to form, but it still doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “I thought so.” She turns her attention back to the television. “Great movie choice by the way.”
Looking down at her once more, I point the neck of the beer bottle in the direction of the screen and frown slightly. “You know this movie?”
“Sure, doesn’t everyone?”
“You’re not even old enough to know this movie, let alone the actors in it.” I chuckle, sipping a mouthful of beer.
Without warning, she inhales deeply. “Ahh, I love the smell of napalm in the morning.”
She winks at me when I snap my head in her direction. “Didn’t take you for someone who would enjoy war-related action movies.”
“Well, you know what they say about people who make assumptions, Jack.”
There’s no way this girl watches films like this enough to remember quotes off the top of her head. Apocalypse Now is quite a popular movie among men so maybe she heard it or watched it with an ex. Either way, I’m still impressed she knows it.
Fuck it.
“I feel the need—”
“For speed.” She giggles. “Top Gun, 1986,” she cuts me off instantly.
“Each man and every man under my command—”
“Now owes me one hundred Nazi scalps. Inglorious Bastards, 2009.”
“Keep the sand out of your weapons—”
She turns to face me then, a wide grin on her face before she speaks.
“Keep those actions clear. I’ll see you on the beach.
Saving Private Ryan… uh…” She thinks for a second, biting down on her lower lip as she tries to remember the release date for it.
I wait, but my focus is solely on her mouth.
Everything about her is tempting to me. “1998?” She looks at me for confirmation.
I nod. “Very good. I have to say, I’m a little impressed.”
“Well,” she huffs playfully. “If you’re going to test me because you don’t believe this is my favourite genre of movies, at least make it somewhat hard for me, Jack.”
Oh, it’s getting hard alright.
Jesus. Fuck, Jack, stop.
I think for a beat, wondering what she might slip up with when she turns her whole body to face me. “Are you quitting on me?” she asks, and just as I’m about to answer, she continues, “Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus—”
Realising now what she’s doing, it’s my turn to cut her off. “Looking piece of shit!”
“Get the fuck off my obstacle course, NOW!” We both finish the sentence together and she bursts out laughing.
It’s one of those laughs that ends up making you smile just by the sound of it.
Her tone soft and raspy, sexy and natural all at the same time.
Not too loud or obnoxious, and without a certain type of pitch in it that pisses you off.
“Full Metal Jacket, 1987.” I nudge her with my elbow.
It’s the first bit of contact either of us have had since the events of last night came to pass.
I check my watch again and realise it’s time to take the food out of the oven.
“Alright, smart-ass, I believe you. Do you have a favourite movie?” I ask, not sure why.
“Notting Hill.” She turns to look at me, holding back her grin. “It’s not war related, I know. But—” She shrugs. “It’s romantic as shit, have you not ever seen it?”
“No, and I don’t plan to either. Romance movies are not my forte.”
“You’ve never watched a single romantic movie?”
“Nope.”
“Like, at all?”
I snicker. “Never.”
“Not even if I asked you to?”
“Not even then, sweetheart.” I wink at her. “So—” I clear my throat because I can’t believe I’m about to ask her this question. “Cam girl, huh?”
She shrugs, unbothered. “I mean, it pays the bills, gives me the lifestyle I want, and I don’t even have to have sex with anyone.” Those dark blue orbs of hers meet mine, and for a split second I can hear all the things she wants to say but refuses to.
So, like a fucking idiot I say, “Does your father know?”
“He does. And now so do you.” She grins playfully, her tongue darting out to lick the seam of her lips, and I find myself focussing on the simple act longer than I should.
How is something so effortless twisting my guts with a desire to suck her tongue into my mouth and kiss her so deeply she forgets her own name.
I’ve never wanted someone the way I want Robyn. Never been in such a frenzy to touch a woman the way I do her. Just her presence alone makes me feral with a pure, unadulterated craving to have her body pressed against mine.
Realising I need to get out of this situation before I make matters worse than I already have, I push to stand from the couch and make my way towards the door to the kitchen. “You want to eat in there and continue with the film?” I call back loud enough so she can hear me.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” she yells back through the house. “Wouldn’t want to stain any of your rich people furniture!”
“Very funny,” I mutter to myself as I make my way into the kitchen to not only plate dinner for the both of us, but to stop the boner threatening to tent my sweats.