Chapter 16
Sixteen
FEIGRIND
F rom the look on his face, he didn’t believe my words. It hurt that Simon thought so little of me. That I would bring him into my bed only to convince him to stay. It was not for that reason, but a part of me still knew if I told him the truth, it would only push him farther from me. He wasn’t ready for me to claim him. He still wanted to go back to his life. I would not bring up my hopes until I knew for certain that he wished to stay.
He still glared at me, his posture defiant and annoyed like usual. Despite his irritation, I still preferred it over his silence. I liked his fire, and I enjoyed our little back and forth. I was drawn to him, even before he came into my bed, but now that I knew what it was to hold him and touch him, I found it hard to stay away. I stepped closer until his crossed arms bumped against me, and he had to lift his chin to look up at me.
“Are you alright?”
His brows furrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Bhortis was cruel to you. You should not have been spoken to in such a way. I will make sure he is punished for doing so.”
His head jerked back, surprised. “You mean more than you pummeling him into the ground?”
I made an irritated sound, scowling in the direction they’d dragged Bhortis off. “That was nothing compared to what I will do to him for insulting you. You are my tribute. It is my job to protect you. He will know my wrath when I’m through with him.”
Simon’s stance softened, and he smirked, closing the distance between us and putting his hands on my chest. I ached to wrap myself around him, but he was angry with me before. I didn’t want to touch without his permission first.
“Big bad warrior, so eager to defend my honor. You can relax, Feigrind. He’s not the first man to try and hurt me with his words, and I doubt he’ll be the last. I’m not insulted, because I’d need to value his opinion to care about what he says to me. I don’t waste my time on men like him.”
He was so much braver than I’d ever imagined. It still didn’t make Bhortis’s actions okay, but I was glad he wasn’t hurt because of it. If he was truly upset, I’d skin Bhortis alive.
“People are looking at us, you know,” he pointed out with a raised eyebrow.
I frowned and looked around. The village center was busy at this time of day and a great deal of those present were looking at us. I dropped my gaze back to Simon.
“Does this bother you? Would you like me to take you back to my tent?”
He rolled his eyes, like the brat he was. “It’s not me I’m asking about, you dolt,” he carped. “You’re the one who has never had an interest in men. People are going to question why you’re suddenly cuddling one like I’m your teddy bear.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant by that, but he had a point. Despite my warnings to keep my hands to myself until he was more receptive to my touch, I had somehow wrapped him in my arms, my hands spanning his back to keep him close. It didn’t bother me that others saw; they’d find out eventually if I could somehow manage to get Simon to accept me, but I wasn’t looking forward to the teasing. I was grateful that Godr wasn’t around. He would pester me for details on what changed my mind until I either hurt him or answered his questions.
Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. “I am not embarrassed, Simon. You are not some secret to be hidden away.”
Again, he looked surprised. He’d worn that expression a lot since last night. Like my actions weren’t what he was expecting. It made me think he wasn’t well treated before he arrived here. He should expect people to say nice things to him. He deserved to be spoiled.
“We’re speaking the same language, but I still don’t understand you,” Simon murmured, frowning at me. I wanted to ask what he meant by that, but we were interrupted by Orthorr, who did not look pleased.
“It is a concern when my warriors are fighting amongst themselves. What happened?”
Pressing my lips together, I fought back a growl. I did not wish to recount the story. It still pissed me off.
Thankfully, or maybe regrettably, Simon answered for me. “Some asshole tried to insult me, and Feigrind took exception. They both acted like the big barbarians they are. Are you seriously sending him away? Because I don’t give a shit who you assign to watch over me, I’m not going to act all demure while he’s gone.”
Orthorr shot me a questioning look.
“Uttin asked me to join them on the trade journey they will take soon,” I explained. “Drakr’s bondmate is due soon, and he does not wish to leave her side.”
Orthorr sighed. “It would be unfair to ask that of him. But you are busy with your tribute. Is there no one else?”
“That was what we were discussing.”
There were many warriors in our clan, but not all could leave on such journeys. Most needed to stay behind to protect the clan. We were on guard after the Fer’na showed up so suddenly. Usually, I went along on occassion because I was unattached and needed to burn off some energy, but not often. I preferred to stay with Maman. This first time I was resistant to going along, but there were few other options, especially now that Bhortis might have to stay with the healers.
We spoke for a while on others who might be able to take my place, but it truly looked like I was the best option. And because I’d never spoken with Orthorr about my intentions with Simon, he assumed I would not be bothered by leaving him.
“We can introduce Simon to the clan, since he has proven he will not act recklessly and run. I’m sure he will be fine on his own while you’re gone.”
Simon did not look pleased at the thought of my leaving. I wanted to take hope in that reaction, but it was still too early for me to leave his side. I worried what would happen if I left before he accepted my claim. What if, while I was gone, he found another who suited him better?
“I don’t need a babysitter, and I’m not interested in being paraded in front of your clan like a piece of meat. Why can’t I go with him?” he demanded with a surly expression.
The idea wasn’t any better than leaving him behind. If he found someone to his liking in another clan, I wouldn’t even have a chance to earn his favor. We were friendly with most other clans, but it would not be well received if I argued against another brother’s claim.
Thankfully, Orthorr refused immediately. “No. Your behavior has not given me any indication that you would act politely. I don’t want you insulting other clans.”
Simon scoffed but did not argue. We all knew better than to trust him to behave. The most he behaved was for Maman, and she wasn’t able to go with us to watch him. An idea struck me, and I turned to Simon.
“I worry about leaving Maman. She likes you. It would make me feel better with you watching over her.”
I’d make the same request of her, essentially having them both watch over each other. That way, the two most important people in my life were safe while I dealt with this journey, and Simon would be kept away from most of the clan. He did not need to be introduced while I was gone.
With a frustrated growl, Simon relented. “Ugh. Fine. I’ll stay with Maman. But you better not be gone too long. We just started having sex, and I don’t like going without it.”
Orthorr looked shocked at Simon’s comment, but Simon didn’t stick around to explain. He stomped off, disappearing into the tent Maman had gone into in search of Yamileth. I trusted that he was safe with her and gave my focus to Orthorr instead.
“Is what he said true?” the clan leader asked.
He was not angry about it—he had no problem with same-sex relationships—but he was good friends with my father, and I’d known him all my life. My sudden deviation in preferences clearly took him by surprise.
“It is,” I said with a quick nod.
“I admit, I’m surprised,” he said, studying me carefully. “You have not shown any interest in males before now.”
Pursing my lips, I considered it. “I still have no interest in other males. Simon is special. I only want him. If he chose another, I don’t think I’d try again.”
SIMON
I was annoyed that Feigrind was leaving. He went on and on about wanting me to stay, and he was just leaving me behind? What was that about?
When I went looking for Maman, I hoped she’d back me up and make him stay. She’d already argued against him leaving before, and Feigrind loved his mother. He’d do as she asked.
I found her in what the barbarians probably considered a kitchen. It was a big tent with a fire in the middle and food and herbs being prepared. Patrick sat on a stool to one side, talking to his bondmate, who sat by his feet like a big puppy. I ignored them and instead turned to the two older women on the other side of the tent, whispering to themselves. Given Maman’s temperament, I felt like that didn't bode well.
“What are you planning over there?” I demanded, planting my hands on my hips. Maman beckoned me closer, pointing at an empty stool beside hers.
“Sit. Make yourself useful.”
She handed me a basket with beans in them, and I handed it right back. “Absolutely not. I’m not a cook, and I don’t want to be responsible for someone choking on their food.”
The other woman, who I hadn’t been introduced to yet, snorted. “At least he doesn’t pretend he is more useful than he is. I’ve lost track of the number of people offering to help me who only cause me trouble.” Her beady eyes flicked to me, and she sized me up quickly. “You don’t eat enough,” she said, plucking a fruit out of a nearby basket and tossing it at me. I sighed and set it aside.
“I work hard to maintain my weight. I don’t need to put on any more. I need Maman’s help. They’re going to send Feigrind away, and I’m not putting up with another stupid barbarian demanding I join the clan and become someone’s bed warmer.” I crossed my arms in a huff.
Maman frowned at me. “Did Feigrind say that was your purpose?”
I rolled my eyes. “No. But what else am I supposed to think? You don’t have people showing up just to join, do you? Could some random townsfolk join your clan and become barbarians willy nilly? No. You need to be married off to be here. And since I’ve got no skills outside of sex, I know what that will mean for me. I’d go out of my mind with boredom waiting around for some man to come home each night.”
“I would not know how someone would be received asking to join the clan,” Maman said with a frown. “It’s never happened before, aside from Patrick. He was a special case.” She cast a glance at her friend. “Did it happen in your clan before your husband moved here, Yami?”
The other woman shook her head. “No. Townsfolk are too fearful of us. They believe they will be torn apart for getting too close. None have been brave enough to ask. Even Patrick was terrified when he first arrived.” She turned back to look at me. “Why? Are you looking to become a warrior? You are small but probably quick because of it. You’ll need to eat more if you want to put on the muscle, though.”
I wrinkled my nose in distaste. I was not going to bulk up just to join their clan. “I like how I look, thank you very much. And no, I’m not interested in joining the clan at all. I’m just proving my point.”
“And what of my son?” Maman asked. “Does he not make you wish to stay?”
I hesitated. If I thought we had a chance at making things work, Feigrind might be a reason for me to change my mind. He was sweet and determined to take care of me. And the sex was amazing. But?—
“If he wanted me so much, he wouldn’t be leaving me behind!” I snapped.
Maman made a tick sound behind her teeth, scowling at me. “He is not clan leader. It is Orthorr who decides who goes in the end. Have you asked him?”
“If you’re talking about the old barbarian in the robes, then yes. He said no because I ‘can’t be trusted to be polite’.” I made quotes with my fingers, rolling my eyes.
Yami looked amused, raising an eyebrow. “If you wish to prove him wrong, maybe don’t act like a brat while explaining yourself.”
“Shut up!” I scowled at her.
Maman pointed at me with a chuckle. “See? He’s sassy. And he doesn’t treat me like I’m broken. I like him for Feigrind. They are a good match.”
“You’re just saying that because you want Feigrind to stop hovering,” Yami countered, her hands moving to prepare the beans without her actually watching what she was doing. It was kind of fascinating how easily she did that.
“Well, he has been distracted since Simon showed up,” Maman agreed with a grin. She turned to leer at me. “Did he ask you to teach him something new yesterday?”
Surprise lit up my face, and she cackled to herself before explaining to Yami, “He thinks he can hide things from his mother. When will he ever learn?”
“He’s a man, so never,” Yami replied.
“Hey,” I cut in with a glare. “Don’t lump us in all together. I’m not like him.”
“No, you’re not,” Maman agreed happily. “Which is why he likes you so much. So, what will it take to get you to claim him, Simon? Because my son wants a bondmate, and I know he wants it to be you.”