4. Sheri
4
SHERI
My heart is pounding as I make my way back up the stairs to get my sons out of their bath. Ace sounded so serious. The first thing that popped into my brain is it’s bad news. He assures me it isn’t, but my stomach is now in knots anticipating what it is he wants to talk about. What could he possibly want to talk about?
Encouraging the boys from the tub, I rush them through drying off but leave them to run around naked if they want to, because I simply can’t wait any longer to hear what Ace has to say. Just these few minutes I’ve taken to deal with Luke and James has a mild case of nausea churning in my stomach to accompany the butterflies and knots. A most uncomfortable feeling, to be sure.
Bracing myself, I head back down and join Ace at the breakfast table in the bay window of my kitchen.
“Hey,” I say, stupidly, unable to think of anything else to say.
“Hey, yourself,” he replies with a gentle smile, and my heart melts at the sight. Gah, this man is so gorgeous. And that smile always makes my knees weak.
“So, what did you want to talk to me about that sounded so serious?” I blurt out, unable to wait any longer.
Ace shifts in his seat, takes a large gulp of coffee, looking like a deer caught in headlights. What the hell?
“Sheri, I — er.” He clears his throat. “There’s something I want to say to you, I just don’t know how.”
“Ace, you really are beginning to scare me. I know you said it’s nothing bad, but your words make me think it is. And you know me, if it’s bad news then just rip the Band-Aid off and get it over with.”
“I don’t know how else to say this?—”
“Just ri?—”
“Just rip the Band-Aid off, yeah I know.” He blows a huge sigh out, takes a deep breath as if he’s going deep diving, and then renders me speechless. “Sheri, I’m in love with you.”
I blink.
Surely, I can’t have heard him correctly.
“Well, was that ripping the Band-Aid off quick enough for you?” he asks, low key sarcastic.
I blink again.
My brains scrambles, trying desperately to process the words.
“You — um — you’re ...” Like someone in a trance, I glance around my kitchen searching for a camera, one hundred percent certain I’m being pranked.
“Sheri?” Ace’s earnest tone draws my attention back to him.
“Hmm?”
“Did you hear me?”
I nod my head slowly, unsure of what to say other than, “Um, yeah, I heard you — I think.”
Ace cocks his head. “You think?”
“Mmm.”
Silence greets my words. And simply hangs there, neither of us saying another word for long seconds.
“I — it would seem I’ve made a mistake here. I’m sorry.” Ace gets to his feet and stands beside my chair. “I’m sorry if I’ve made things awkward between us, That was the last thing I wanted to do. I’ll see myself out.”
Moving without a sound, just like Maverick used to do, he exits the kitchen. He’s halfway to the door before my brain engages.
“Wait, Ace, don’t go,” I call out. “Hang on. Please?”
Ace stops and slowly turns to face me, pain clear to see in his soulful, dark eyes, even from this distance. He doesn’t say a word. Just stands there looking at me expectantly.
“I’m sorry. You caught me off-guard — I ...” I stumble to a halt, realizing my words are not helping. “Please, just come sit and let’s talk about this.”
“What’s to talk about?” he asks, his words clipped, not coming any closer.
“Please come sit?” I plead.
For a split second I don’t think he’s going to, but then he returns to the breakfast nook, taking a seat opposite me.
His gaze locks with mine, and he stares, as if trying to see all the way into my soul. And if he could, he’d see that his feelings are reciprocated, even if I can’t quite wrap my head around the fact that he feels the same.
I gulp the rest of my coffee down, giving myself a few extra precious seconds to attempt to marshal my thoughts.
“I’m sorry — God, I seem to be saying that a lot right now, but I am. You gave me beautiful, powerful, incredible words, catching me so far on the back foot I stumbled. Give me a minute to fix it. Please. This is as important to me as it clearly is to you.
“I just need a second to gather myself so I don’t mess things up more than I already have.” My heart is pounding again, harder this time. What if I’ve ruined this irrevocably? What if I can’t fix or undo the damage I’ve wrought?
But I should have known better.
This man, with his giving spirit and empathetic nature, throws me a lifeline. He nods. “I should be the one apologizing. I reacted badly. I’m sorry.”
I study him, his body language, the expression in his eyes, his hands tightly gripping each other, and I weigh my words. What comes out of my mouth next seems like it could, quite possibly, make or break our relationship.
Eventually, I gather myself enough to speak coherently.
“These last almost five years have been long, hard, lonely ones since Mav’s passing. You, Leila, Merlin, and the rest of the guys have been my anchor, my sanity, my lifeline. Especially you and Leila. All of you, along with my boys, are all that kept me going when I wanted to give up and join him.
“I don’t even want to confess how many times I wanted to just give up and die. Of all of you guys, you and Leila stepped in time and time again, making sure I was eating, doing okay, taking care of myself. And I will never be able to express how much that meant to me.”
The tight grip Ace has on his own hands hasn’t relaxed an iota. But I’m hoping that’ll come shortly.
“Slowly but surely, as the days, weeks, and months passed, the pain became the tiniest bit more bearable, and I didn’t entertain the idea of joining Mav so often. As the years have gone by and you spent all that time here with the boys, with me, I felt a shift. One I didn’t expect to feel. And I’ve struggled with it.
“The truth is, I’m in love with you too. I never expected it to happen, let alone you would feel the same way. I have grappled with guilt and worry about what the others would say or do — I mean, look at what happened with Leila after she and Merlin broke up. You guys have been my support structure, have kept me going, and I’m terrified the guys will cut me off the way you did with her.”
The more I speak, the faster my words come out, and I’m now breathing like I’ve just run a marathon.
“But none of that changes how I feel. I love you too, Ace.”
The look that crosses his face is like watching the sun come out from behind the clouds on a grey winter’s day. Beautiful.
“Yeah?” His tone is hopeful, and I feel a pang in my heart for having caused him even a second’s doubt.
“Yeah.” I nod. “I really do. I just don’t know how we’re going to navigate the situation.”
“As long as you love me, we’ll figure it out,” he says, getting to his feet and coming around to where I’m sitting.
Taking my hands, he pulls me to my feet, wrapping me up in his strong arms. Holding me tight against his hard body. He gazes deep into my eyes for long moments, his emotions clear to see.
“I had no idea how this was going to go. I also had zero idea what I would say or do if it turned out you didn’t feel the same way. All I could do was hope and pray I wasn’t about to fuck up the most important relationship in my life.
“I’m not going to say it was swift and sudden, from the very beginning, because it wasn’t. It’s been more of a slow tumble into an awareness of deeper feelings that had developed. And, like you, I’ve grappled with guilt and feeling like I’m betraying one of my best friends. But I cannot deny how I feel anymore and, if I’m being brutally honest, I don’t want to.”
Cupping my cheeks between his hands, Ace gives me a heated look for all of three seconds before gently laying his warm lips on mine. Just resting them there for a beat. And then I feel the tip of his tongue trace my lips before gliding along the seam as if asking for permission. I open to him, and he takes my breath away as he captures my mouth in one of the hottest kisses I think I’ve ever been blessed enough to experience.
Holy Mother of Mercy, this man lays a kiss on me the likes of which I’ve never experienced. Hot, wet, passionate — all-consuming.
I have no idea where he learned to kiss like this, and I’m not sure I want to, but damn. He takes me under, as if being rolled by an alligator, unable to come up for air or to grasp for sanity. I lose myself in the taste of him on my tongue, the texture of his skin as I burrow under the waist of his T-shirt and savor the feeling of being surrounded by him.
“Moooom.” James yelling for me has Ace breaking the kiss.
He rests his forehead on mine, not releasing me just yet, both of us breathing hard.
“I need a minute,” he says, not lifting his head.
“Hmm, me too.”
The blissful moment is, once again, broken by that little voice calling down the stairs.
“Moo-oom.”
Ace drops a gentle kiss on my forehead, causing my heart to beat faster and me to almost melt in a puddle of need at his feet. Dear God, it’s been so long since I’ve felt the touch of another person like this.
“You best go see what they want before one of them comes down here, and considering my current condition,” he takes my hand and lays it across a very impressive erection, “it could be somewhat difficult to explain.”
“Mmm,” I hum, giving him a little squeeze. “Yeah, you’ve got a good point.”
It takes me a minute to realize what I’ve said when he bursts out laughing. Turning me toward the staircase, he gives me a soft swat on the ass. “Off you go.”
As I reach the bottom step, I hear the aggrieved cry again, “Mooo-oooo-mmmy!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” I call.
Of their own accord, my fingers find their way to my lips, rubbing over them and remembering the delicious feel of Ace’s mouth against my own. Running my tongue over suddenly dry lips, I bite back a moan as I take in the taste of him that still lingers there.
Well, shit.
This is so unexpected, and I’m clueless about where to go from here. Wherever that is, I’m along for the ride. Because after that small taste in my kitchen, there’s no way I can walk away now.