Chapter 24
“Get away from me,” I said, trying to scramble away, but the man gripping my shoulder didn’t loosen his hold, though he did allow me to stand.
“No, lassie, I’m here to help you. Such a pretty girl ought not to be crying. How can I cheer you up?”
My hands flew to where my knives usually were, but I only felt fabric. A pox upon trying to appear ladylike. The fear drove away my despair and cleared my head.
“Release me,” I snarled.
“I told you, I’m here to help—”
His words were cut off as I dropped my weight and twisted so I slipped out from beneath his palm. My elbow snapped back into his ribs, abrupt and precise. He grunted, more startled than hurt, and laughed.
“We’ve got a feisty one here,” he chuckled, and swung at me.
Without hesitation, I ducked and pivoted so I could drive my heel into the side of his knee in a sharp back-kick. The joint buckled with a wet pop, and his laughter turned into a howl as he stumbled backward.
The second man rushed forward.
Abandoning the first, I somersaulted across the alleyway and landed on my feet.
The second man twirled and ran at me again, but this time I was ready.
I lunged forward to grab his knees and cartwheeled my legs up to squeeze his neck, hard.
He stumbled and toppled over with me still attached to him, redoubling the effort of clamping my thighs around his neck so he let out a choked splutter.
“Get off him,” the first man shouted, grabbing a fistful of my hair and wrenching me up off his companion.
I grabbed his arm and kicked backward at his bad leg again so he gave a fresh shout of pain. His grip loosened and I turned to punch his throat.
His eyes widened in shock and he clutched at his neck, wheezing.
“That’s it,” the other man said, pulling out a dagger and advancing.
Panic rose. I wouldn’t be able to defend against two large men indefinitely.
I pivoted away from the man with the knife and went to dart past the man I’d punched in the throat, but he whipped out a hand to grab me as I ran.
I spun and swept his legs out from under him, giving yet another swift kick to his bad knee followed by an even swifter backfist to his head.
The knuckle on my middle finger caught his temple at just the right spot and he collapsed.
His grip loosened, but by then, the man with the knife caught up and grabbed me.
I caught his hand with the knife, trying to drive the blade away from me, but his grip was like iron and the knife’s point continued to inch toward my chest. He was too strong to overpower.
There was no room for error and no time left to get creative. I brought my knee up, aiming between his legs, but he twisted to block the blow.
I grimaced, trying to avoid the knife, and was shoved against the wall, where pain flared across my back.
“And here we were trying to be nice to you,” the man hissed in my ear.
I continued to try to push his hand gripping the knife away, but I knew it was a lost cause and braced for the impact I knew would come. I had lost my mother and was about to lose my own life. I’d never find out what happened to my sister or father.
There was a blur and an “oof” as someone barreled into the man attacking me, charging him down with such force that they both went sprawling.
Lochlan had come for me.
Without hesitation, I followed, diving in and hooking my elbows to hold the thug’s arms back while Lochlan punched him in the gut.
The man reeled backward with a strangled sound, and I wrapped my arm around his neck, pinching off his windpipe. His hands clawed uselessly against my forearm and he released a odd burbling sound that faded as he sank to his knees and finally collapsed.
Silence fell, broken by my and Lochlan’s ragged breathing.
“Are you all right?” he gasped, his eyes alive with concern.
“I’m never wearing a dress or leaving my knives behind again,” I panted, adrenaline still surging through my veins.
“Deal.” He looked at the two men out cold near our feet. “To be fair, you did very well without them.”
My hands shook. “I hope they’re dead,” I said viciously. They had attacked a vulnerable girl. They deserved the worst sort of punishment life could deal out.
Lochlan hesitantly stretched out his hand to touch my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re safe,” he said quietly.
My entire body shook, and as fear released its iron grip on me, I began to cry again. I hated each tear that escaped, but I couldn’t prevent their coming, hot and fast. Lochlan quietly folded me into a hug, pressing my face into his chest so my tears soaked his shirt.
He held me for a long time, until I’d exhausted myself and sagged against him. I didn’t have the energy to do any more. I was tired of fighting. I was tired of taking so many jobs to earn money only to find out my mother was gone.
“Come on,” Lochlan said gently, pulling me by the hand.
I obeyed the pressure without protesting or flinching away like normal.
Lochlan didn’t say anything until we reached the trees, but once I could hear the hooting of owls and the soft whisper of leaves rustling, he spoke up.
“When we were at the wedding, what she said about your mother…”
“It wasn’t the news I was hoping for,” I mumbled. “Thanks for coming after me.”
“I can still help you find your sister. I’ll ask Roderick about where he sold her.”
“She’s probably dead, too,” I said harshly. “I don’t want to get my hopes up just to have them crushed all over again.”
The path dipped then rose. The trees thinned enough for starlight to spill through, but I couldn’t see the beauty in anything.
I focused on the rhythm of my steps and the burning in my calves and thighs from all my running.
If I weren’t so emotionally exhausted, I might have welcomed another fight.
I wanted to do something, not just wait for my life to be extinguished.
We reached the spot where the trail forked. The left led toward the stream and the right toward the hideout. I turned right without hesitation, and Lochlan followed but stretched out to take my hand and pull me to a slower pace.
“Jillian,” he said softly.
I didn’t want to have some deep, emotional conversation. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. “If you’re about to ask me how I’m feeling, please don’t.”
“I was just going to ask if you want company tonight. You can take my bed and I’ll sleep in the rocking chair.”
I didn’t answer right away. Lochlan was being kind as ever, and I was being just as prickly as a porcupine. As horrible and devastating a blow as I’d been dealt, Lochlan didn’t deserve to be treated poorly. He already had Roderick for that.
“Yes, please,” I whispered. “I don’t want to be alone tonight.” The raw vulnerability was almost as achingly painful as hearing Dahlia tell me about my mother all over again. If I was left alone with my thoughts, I’d likely go mad.
When the illuminated windows of the cottage swam out of the darkness, I slowed until I came to a complete halt. The idea of having to face anyone else tonight was too much to bear. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or pretend to be something other than the heartbroken daughter I was.
“It looks like Roderick and Peter are back,” Lochlan said. “I’ll go in first, then let you in through the window so they don’t see you or the dress. I’ll tell them you stayed with your”—he broke off, clearly about to say mother, and changed mid-sentence—“friend in town tonight.”
The sharp pain redoubled in my chest. Gil still had a mother. I would have to keep up that facade around Peter and Roderick. But I hadn’t had a mother for years. I just hadn’t known it until tonight. I nearly started crying again.
“Thank you for caring about me,” I said quietly to Lochlan. “It means more than you know.”
He folded me into another hug. “I don’t know how you feel, but I promise I’ll do everything I can for you. I’ll take care of you.”
He left me outside and went in alone. There were a few minutes of chatter and laughing, then a door shut and a candle flickered to life in Lochlan’s room. He slid his window open and helped me climb inside.
“I have your clothes,” he told me, pointing to a pile of Gil’s breeches and tunic.
“I won’t look.” He turned to put his nose in the corner while I changed, gratefully slipping back into the boy’s clothing that felt so much safer than the dress had.
I wadded up the gown and shoved it under Lochlan’s bed, burrowing it past some dusty boxes so it wouldn’t be visible.
I didn’t even want to look at it or I’d start thinking about my mother all over again.
In fact, I vowed I would never wear another dress so long as I lived.
“Done,” I told Lochlan quietly.
He turned back around and folded down the blankets for me on the bed. “Here, you need the rest,” he said softly. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” He sat in the wooden rocking chair.
“That can’t be comfortable,” I told him, throwing the pillows over to him. “At least sit on those or put them behind your back. I won’t sleep well knowing you are miserable.”
Lochlan placed one pillow on the seat and propped the other behind his back, then closed his eyes. “Ah, it’s so soft now.”
I blew out the candle and sank into the bed. Even in the darkness, I could still make out Lochlan’s silhouette, framed against the window as he sat in the rocker.
My mother might not be alive, but Lochlan was just as good as any family I’d ever known.
I didn’t know what I’d do without him.