Chapter 13 | Holly
THIRTEEN
Holly
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I SAT LOOKING OUT THE window, my thoughts constantly coming back to Damen and how he’d touched me and how he’d loved me. His hands had, at times, been rough as he’d grabbed me, yet his fingertips could be so heavenly soft and gentle.
For the most part, I retained the thrill of every moment with him.
And yet, a tiny part of me felt somewhat guilty and I didn’t really understand why.
Perhaps it was because we didn’t really know each other all that well.
We’d walked, we’d talked, and we’d made each other laugh. What more could we want?
No, I finally concluded. I had no reason to feel guilty at all. I knew enough about him, and I knew enough about how he made me feel.
His kisses had been so hot, so wild and his hands... going up my skirt, touching me in such surprising ways. I’d never felt so hot, so ready, so eager.
Yes, I’d been uncertain about the circumstances at first – outdoors, in the wild, out in the open - and I’d been a little shy and unsure about telling him what I wanted. But when I’d spoken up, he’d responded just as I knew he would.
“Let’s go back to your room,” I’d finally managed to whisper.
With a wicked chuckle, he’d swept me off my feet and carried me out of the woods as I giggled all the way. Once in the garden, we quieted down, made sure no one was around, then we’d snuck inside and tiptoed up to his room.
His room... heaven. Everything about being with him was heaven. I had no memory of what his room looked like. Was it dark and masculine? Was it bright and colorful? I had no clue, and I had no interest in knowing. All that mattered was him and what he did to me.
“I’m so hungry for you,” he’d said.
“Then feast on me, Damen. Feast on me.”
Indeed. He’d feasted on me. He’d made love to me. It’d been fast, and hungry, and oh, so urgent... and over way too soon. I’d wanted more. I’d wanted to start again.
For a short minute, he’d run his tender fingers over my skin. He’d kissed my neck and the tip of my nose. And then he’d slipped off me to lay at my side.
He’d looked at me with sleepy eyes. “You are so fabulous, Holly. Promise me we’ll do this again. I think I would die if you were to tell me we could never do this again.”
I’m ready, I’d wanted to say. Right here and now. Let’s go. Instead, I’d nodded and silently looked forward to our next encounter.
He’d smiled, his tired eyes barely able to stay open, “But for now, be a dear and close the door on your way out,” he’d said as I’d prepared to lay my head on his chest. “I have to be up and ready before sun-up tomorrow morning.”
Surprised by the request, I’d been tempted to show my displeasure, but I knew there was no point. “Of course,” I’d simply said.
Truth was, I fear he’d find me too clingy and selfish if I told him of my disappointment, but I had truly wanted to stay in his arms all night long.
And now, as I sat alone in my room, I realized I needed to talk to someone. I had to share with someone how he’d made me feel. If I kept it all inside, I was certain I’d explode.
I stood up and walked out of my room. Without even thinking of where I was going, I found myself at Susan’s door. I knocked. When no response came, I went to her adjacent office and knocked again.
“Come in.”
I opened the door to find her seated at her desk. She looked so prim and proper, so mature and responsible. Wearing a gray cardigan sweater over a darker gray shirt, she looked matronly all while exuding professionalism.
“Holly,” she said with surprise. She immediately turned away from her computer screen and faced me. “What is it? Is it Mother?”
“No. Mother is fine,” I said as I came to sit in the chair facing her desk. “I just wanted to come chat with you for a bit. I haven’t seen much of you lately and realized that if I didn’t come and intrude during your workday, I might not get the chance to talk to you at all.”
“I am in my room every evening after dinner,” she said. “But now is fine. I’m glad you came. I’m in much need of a break from all these numbers.”
“How are things? Do you like working for Keely?”
“Very much. It’s very enjoyable work.”
“And I see that you’ve gotten over having to move to Moon Manor.”
She nodded. “This is very nice. It’s very pleasant here.”
“Are you still thinking about Bradley?”
She shook her head. “Not as much. My work keeps me busy, and I’m happy about that.”
“And I know that Mother is happy to be here as well. She seems to have completely forgotten Selma Sanctuary. I think she really loves Moon Manor.”
“Indeed.” She leaned back and smiled. “She’s been mysteriously hinting at a surprise, but she refuses to tell me any details. Has she mentioned anything about it to you?”
“No. But then again, I haven’t spoken to her much these past days.”
She looked at me for a long, silent moment. “What is it that you really came here to talk to me about, Holly?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t want to question you at the time, but I just can’t help but wonder.
.. how serious were you about Brad? I mean, I can see that his leaving bothered you but.
.. I don’t know. He seemed like such a good man, such a perfect match for you.
It was easy to see that you two liked each other well enough, but.
.. Was it more serious than just that? Were you just good friends or were you in love with him? ”
She sat up and fiddled with the papers on her desk, put a few stray paperclips back into their little compartment and finally looked at me again. “I’m sorry, Holly. I appreciate your concern, but I really don’t want to get into it. Not now. I’m sure you can understand.”
“I do,” I said, happy to be able to share with her the ups and downs of love. “I do understand so much. I believe that’s part of the reason I came to talk to you today. Because I understand what it is to find love, and I so wish it for you, Susan. I want you to find the happiness that I’ve found.”
“Find love?” Her brow furrowed with concern and skepticism. She leaned over her desk, her elbows firm over the papers she’d placed there. “You think that you’ve found love, Holly? Here? At Moon Manor?”
“Oh, Susan,” I said, suddenly filled with the excitement of sharing.
“I don’t think. I know. I know that I’ve found love.
And he is such a warm and caring man. He is as handsome as any Prince Charming could be and he has eyes only for me.
” I laughed. “Oh, on first meeting, he was so attentive to Mother – it really is rather cute, don’t you think?
But I happen to believe that he wanted to avoid charming me in front of her.
But then... then... Oh, Susan. He saved me.
I never had a chance to tell you, but he saved me.
I’d fallen in the pond, and he just swept me up like any hero would do. ”
Her skepticism grew.
“Don’t look at me like that, Susan. You don’t know. You just don’t know how my heart melts at the very sight of him.”
“Holly,” she said with care. “We’ve not been at Moon Manor a month. It’s barely been two weeks.”
“So? What’s your point?”
“Okay, are you telling me that the two of you are dating?”
“Dating. Seeing each other. In love with one another. Name it what you will. All I know is that I can’t bear to be away from him.”
I nearly told her about my heated night with him but decided to keep it to myself. Judging by the look on her face, she wouldn’t understand, and she certainly wouldn’t approve.
“I might be mistaken, Holly,” she said. “But I do believe I’ve heard the name Damen Dominic before.”
“Of course you have. He’s one of the hottest heartthrobs out there. Every young woman is talking about him. His last two movies were great hits.”
“Exactly. Think about it, Holly. He is a young and attractive man who has hundreds of women fawning all over him. I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that he enjoys spending time with these various women.”
“A man who appeals to so many women,” I said. “Yes. Of course. But that doesn’t change how I feel for him. It doesn’t change how he feels for me.”
Susan just stared at me with disbelief.
“Oh, Susan! There you go, being the downer again. Can you not be happy for me... just this once?”
She got up and came around her desk and I stood to face her.
“I just want you to be careful, Holly. I don’t want to see you get hurt. For all your friends in Bath, you are still quite young, still a little... inexperienced.”
“I’m more experienced than you think. I won’t get hurt. You don’t know him, Susan. Just because he’s an actor, a celebrity... that doesn’t mean he’ll hurt me. He came after me. I’m the one he wants.”
She cupped my cheeks. “Holly, my dearest little sister. I care for you more than I can say.”
“Then be happy for me, Susan. Please, just be happy for me.”
“Becoming involved with a man who is set to be such a huge star... I don’t see how it can end well.”
“Watch me, Susan. Watch us. You’ll see how it can end well.”
And with that, I walked out and left her.
*****
EAGER TO CLEAR THE pessimistic notions Susan had put into my head, I went in search of Damen. I wanted to feel his reassuring arms around me. I wanted to look into his eyes and prove to myself that Susan was wrong.
I knocked on the door to his room. No response.
I headed down to see what possible scene he might be in. Spotting Abbie, I went up to her.
“Are we shooting any juicy Willoughby scenes this afternoon?”
Shaking her head, she smiled. “Willoughby is done for the rest of the day.”
“Oh?”
She hurried off to join Keely before I could ask further questions.
I went to the kitchen, out to the gardens, back to the ballroom and up to the front hall. He was nowhere to be found.
“Ayra!” I called as she passed by to head out and join Keely and Abbie.
“Holly. Oh, good. I’ve been wanting to check with you. How is the music coming along?”
“Very well. I... I spoke with Damen about an idea I had,” I said, embellishing a quick conversation we’d had a few days prior. “I wanted to go over it with him again. Any idea where he might be?”
“It’s going to have to wait. Damen is gone for a few days.”
“A few days?”
“Yes. His big movie premier is tomorrow night in London. That’s why we rushed to shoot as many of his scenes as we could before he had to go.”
“Oh,” I said, hiding my surprise. “Of course. Well. I’ll see him when he gets back.”
We parted ways and I headed back to my room. I couldn’t help but wonder why Damen hadn’t mentioned his trip to London but then realized that he must have known that I couldn’t join him with all the work I had. He must have known how heartbroken I would be seeing that I couldn’t join him.
But then again, why couldn’t I join him? Though I hadn’t written my music down, I had a general idea of where I was going. Once back from London, I could throw myself entirely into the task of completing my music.
Yes. My excitement grew as I plotted out my journey.
London. How romantic. I would surprise him, show him my support, be there for him in this momentous occasion.