Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
Holly
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ON MY SECOND DAY AT Major Cooper’s London townhouse, Susan forcibly sat me down in front of the piano.
“Enough of this pity party, Holly. Life goes on.”
“You have no idea how much a heartache like this hurts,” I shot back at her.
“I have no idea?” It was the first time she’d raised her voice at me since my rainy trip to London.
She was positively livid. “Just because I don’t lounge around having my every need met by those who wish to console me doesn’t mean that I don’t know what it means to be heartbroken, Holly.
You do not have the monopoly on that brand of pain. ”
I stared at the piano keys. I knew very well that she’d been hurt by Bradley. But my pain was so intense, and still so present. I simply couldn’t imagine anyone else going through anything like it.
“Play.” She grabbed my wrists and set my hands over the keys.
“Susan, please. I don’t want to play. I just want to get back to bed.”
“No. You will play. You will play, and you will write, and you will practice, and you will have the music for this movie ready on time. People are counting on you, Holly. Keely is counting on you.”
I pressed down on a key, the middle C, then another and another. Just that sound. That wonderful, rich sound that only a good and finely tuned piano could produce. It resonated in a way that reached down into my soul.
“That’s it,” Susan said as I played on.
I closed my eyes, letting the emotions play out through my fingers. It was a song I’d begun working on that day at the pond. I’d put it aside, too preoccupied with Damen to bother finishing it.
But now, the rest of the song came easily, all on its own. The ebb and flow, the high and low, the soft and strong... it all came so effortlessly.
“That was beautiful, Holly,” Susan said. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you play with such passion, with such depth of emotion.”
I looked up at her. “You’re just trying to make me feel better.”
“I do want you to feel better, but I would never lie to you.”
I smiled. “It is a nice song, isn’t it.”
She put her hand on my shoulder. “I really do have to get back to Moon Manor. Not only do I have my work, but Mother is alone now. Ayra has promised to tend to her, but I doubt Mother is pleased with that, no matter how much she likes Ayra.”
“I understand. As much as I would like to have you stay a few more days, I understand.”
“Will you be all right?”
I hesitated. The ache was still there and the urge to cry was always so close. But I felt stronger than I had the day before and had to believe that I would feel stronger in the days to come. “I know with certainty that I will cry again, but... yes. I’ll be all right.”
We said our goodbyes and I then found myself alone in Major Cooper’s home. I stood still and breathed. The silence caught me off guard. Moon Manor was always such a flurry of activity.
I opened my eyes and, before returning to the piano, I strolled through my new abode, really looking at it for the first time. In contrast to Moon Manor with its traditional architecture and somber décor, Major Cooper’s townhouse was bold, slightly eclectic and very much a surprise.
The artwork on the walls were filled with color. There was a beautiful Picasso, a colorful, almost whimsical landscape by a local artist, Morgan Bila, and a portrait that, while it somewhat resembled Major Cooper, it was so abstract that it was difficult for it to be certain.
Susan had mentioned that we were in an older, yet elegantly refined part of London.
But looking around, that was hard to believe.
Yes, there were the twelve-foot-high ceilings and the architecture retained a bit of that old world feel, but the townhouse was luxurious with so many post-modern elements.
The colors on the walls were vivid, with little trim and no adornment.
Lighting fixtures were streamlined and elegant.
The furniture was at times bold, like the golden yellow armchair set by the fireplace but there were a few interesting antique pieces, like the fabulous desk in the office, and the old-style lamp on the nightstand in the bedroom.
The overall style was bold and masculine, but something about it made me feel at home. I felt protected and safe.
In the modern and fully equipped kitchen, I opened the refrigerator door to find it filled with fresh produce and fine foods. There was plenty with which I could make a good meal, but as I opened the freezer, I also found prepared meals.
I smiled. Whether depressed due to heartache or not, I’d never enjoyed cooking much, making the prepared meals a must.
However, in that moment, I did have the capacity to make myself eggs and toasts, which was what I did.
Despite my good intentions, I only managed to eat a few bites before giving up, although I promised myself to eat more for dinner.
Finally, I was ready to face my work again. I returned to the piano, sat down and spent the next three hours pouring my soul into every note.
My growling stomach had been warning me to stop, but it was the ring of the doorbell that finally did the trick. I left the piano and went to open the door, pleased to find Major Cooper standing there.
“Good afternoon,” he said. “I’m happy to see you up and about.”
I opened the door wide and gestured that he entered. “I’m glad you stopped by. I wanted to thank you. This is a wonderful place to recuperate in, and, well of course, the piano. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a piano sound so beautiful.”
“Please. I’m happy to have a house sitter. As for the piano, I’m pretty sure your fingers have something to do with it sounding so good.”
I smiled. “I was about to go make myself a cup of coffee.”
“That would be wonderful.”
We headed to the kitchen where I prepared two cups of coffee, and we then headed out to the back patio.
“How are you feeling?” he said.
“I know you saw me at my worst. You saw me broken and... I don’t want you to think that that is who I am. I can be strong. I just had a major setback, that’s all.”
“I didn’t mean to underestimate you.”
“I know.”
“However, I have been contemplating hiring a nurse to help you through this difficult time.”
“There’s no need for that, I assure you.
I may be sad, I may be heartbroken, but I will.
..” My voice trailed off. I will what? Get over Damen?
A part of me wanted to be strong and resilient, but there was still a huge part of me that felt so frail.
Even now, talking to Major Cooper and enjoying this time with him, the burn of tears was right there, threatening to burst forth and flow uncontrollably.
I forced a smile. “Thank you, but I don’t need a nurse.”
He nodded. “Okay, but if you change your mind...” He was silent for a moment. “Have you begun working on your music yet?”
I nodded, happy to see he’d changed the subject. “Yes. This morning in fact. I don’t think it’s anything I can use for Keely’s music, but it felt good getting a bit of frustration out. It was a little more cathartic than I would have expected.”
“Good.” He sipped his coffee, and I could see that he wanted to say more. “Did Susan mention the idea I had... about your music... exposing it.”
“Exposing it? No. She didn’t mention anything like that. What do you have in mind?”
“If you’re interested, I’d like to have you play in front of an audience, a small audience at the Theatre Royal. It’s recently been renovated – it’s been a pet project of mine – and I think it could be the perfect venue for you. That is, if you’re up for it, of course. No pressure.”
I smiled, pleased with the idea. Yes. It would be nice to play my music for an audience, to get their immediate feedback.
Then again, I was far from ready.
We enjoyed our coffee, enjoyed the fresh air and the light breeze, and discussed this show that I might soon put on.
He was pleasant to talk to. He didn’t just talk on and on, boasting about his accomplishments like so many of the boys I’d known. He questioned me, he listened to my answers, my ideas.
“You have a piano,” I said. “I assume you play?”
He shook his head and laughed, but his laughter was tainted with something sad. “Remnants from a past life.” He sipped his coffee, then added, “I much prefer to listen to someone like you play.”
We talked about music and about writing lyrics, which led us to discussing philosophy, before moving onto Greek mythology. We even touched on the origins of the universe.
Throughout, he never made me feel inferior or ignorant, or na?ve, although I had said a few silly things; like when I mentioned my interest in the Greek statesman, Pericles, pronouncing his name like ‘miracles’.
Major Cooper had smiled and respectfully corrected me.
“This has been truly pleasant,” he said as he stood to leave.
I couldn’t hide my disappointment. “It’s still so early,” I said. “Why don’t you stay for dinner?”
He pressed his lips in regret. “I still have a lot of work to do. The Theatre Royal is almost done, but you know how it is... details, details, details. I have a meeting with one of the contractors.”
I nodded despite not having any idea what details he could be talking about. “Where are you staying while I’m here in your house?” I said.
“I’m staying at my place in Derbyshire. This is just my little pied-a-terre for when I need to come to London.” He laughed. “Listen to me. That makes me sound like such a snob.”
“Well, if it’s the truth... it is what it is.” I looked around us as we reached the front door. “It is a very nice little secondary home. You have very... interesting taste.”
He laughed.
“I know I’m going to like it here very much.”